today you leave our lovely little life we have built from ashes burned from our past.
like a phoenix we rose, we made it our own.
today you leave me, kiss me on the cheek good bye, you are flying away to greater things.
but you see, all i had was you.
your dreams are much too big to have me in them.
mine are mediocre and you make up half of them.
you can have my ashes too, to make you fly higher and farther away.
ill stay, and keep burning.
incase you come back one day.

it's no coincide that the lines of your lips lock perfectly on the lines of mine
that the nape of my neck was made for your chin to rest in
that the small of my back leaves a gab between me and the bed for your arm to slide under
its no accident that my fingers fit between yours like they remembered them,
the very  first time they held them.

letters and phone calls are not enough to keep me whole.
i need my boy to be in front of me ever muscle every bone.
your shirt is loosing life as the smell of mint  and cheap soap loosens its hold.
i memorized the patterns of your scars, and the shape of your nails for lonely nights i wouldn't being seeing your face.
now it all seems like a made up dream.
being with you has been lonely,
half the time I've been longing for you to hold me.

quietly falling apart
the most renowned form of art  .
i muffle  my sadness so you won't hear through the phone
a piece of me breaks each time you change the date you come  home  .
my life slow weaves around you, adjusts to your dreams
while your life lets the dandelions grow over my needs  .

words pour out bitter they cut into your skin
my poison leaks into you and hurts you
as i became absorbed again by the ugliness within
i throw smooth stones at my refection
hoping one day the ripples
they make will turn me into someone else.
as the water settles i gaze into my own disgusted eyes
see my wretched body the flaws they don't lie.
you say you can't take my bitterness
you are tired of my sickness
you say you wish i saw what you see
then you leave.
i sit at the edge,
with my toes in the pond left alone
with my reflection looking into the eyes
that hate what they see as much as i do.

i took you.
brand new
unused
naive
and unbruised.
you took me.
broken
experienced
sinful
and confused.