I want you
but can't have you
I crave your love
but have to resist you
I wish to pull you closer
but have to walk away
It's like a fire
continuously burning
A thirst I cannot quench
A well that won't run dry
I love you, but don't know why.

You continuously
shoot me down
Firing off your
insults without warning
Your words are your ammo
Your mouth is your gun
Like a killer, you
have no empathy
Like a cougar,
you rip me apart
You get joy from
the pain you cause me
You laugh at
my cries gleefully
Your claws stab my heart
Your bite cuts deep
But I still stand back up
And hold my head high
and walk away with
courage in each stride.

She's surrounded by people
yet she is alone
Her misery hangs in the air like smoke
She feels as though she's trapped in a box
with no way to escape
Like a permanent marker
she can't erase the pain
She can't bear to look in the mirror
for fear of what she'll see
Her shame is a loyal dog
following her unrelentlessly
The sun has quit shining
and clouds fill the sky
and rain pours down from her eyes
She tries to hold on
but the pain stabs like a knife
pulling her under and dimming the lights.

An ocean never sailed
A mountain never climbed
A seed never planted
A flower never bloomed
A life never lived
A light never shined
Nothing lost for you to find.

A heart never broken
A cry never heard
A question never answered
A page never turned
A story never told
A lesson never learned
Nothing right to be wrong.

A sight never seen
A scent never smelled
A sound never heard
A picture never taken
A song never sang
A gun never shot
No fight to be fought.

A dream never chased
A shoe never laced
A box never opened
A hole never dug
A person never loved
A book never read
Nothing left to be said.

long, white fingers, ice cold lips
death's kiss

a handful of pills too many
the world around me dims

a noose pulled tight
the ground begins to spin

I jump and then I'm falling
the darkness is calling

Long, white fingers, ice cold lips
a death wish