when I was young
I used to dream
what is love
what could it mean
I used to fantasize
the perfect mate
then I realized
I had to wait
for this dream
to come true
for my heart
to find you
it wasn't easy
and I got hurt
there were times
when it didn't work
I would either cry
or feel so down
I wanted to die
than be around
I wanted to run
just disappear
I felt I was done
I gave into fear
but one day
it came to my surprise
I found myself
looking in your eyes
it felt so different
it felt so right
like heavens angels
golden light
I knew I had to try again
I knew you were my other half
I knew your heart I had to win
I knew you were what I wanted to have
you're the reason
I never lost hope
you're the reason
I still go
You will always be my special one
we'll always stick together
cause I love you baby
always... and... forever.

i could say a lot of words
but they'd never mean as much as your three do to me
a lot of syllables strung together
with pretty punctuation
like the golden flecks embedded in your eyes
and rhythmic lilts and twirls
like the way we sway together to no music
i could list the reasons
why i stay up too late to talk to you
why i think in terms of 'we' not 'me'
why i would give up a million words for your three
or why i find myself smiling at the mere stupidity i succumbed to
but you know the answer
you know why without need for any words
you know why without need for those three

When she touches me, I feel her touching
Herself, though she circles my shape into
Oneness, I sometimes feel— detached
Within those arms.  
                                   In her startled-fall
To sleep, imperceptibly, she gathers
The room from her vexing childhood.  
Drawing the air and curling in waves—
My hair, as if she were weaving some kind
Of shelter.

When I touch her, it is with desire.
My reach untangles the very dream
Which took thirty five years of dull
Existence to unmuddle— to imagine,
My soul's other.

                         Ten fingers envelop her body
Like splits of lightning— rippling skyward
From wholly, bone-dun-desert, floor and there,
In that rose-journey of unbridled touch,
The shock of thunder makes a mother
Of the sky.  
                     When she breaks her water
The blighted earth that was sung— given
My name, becomes her light, awakening
Child.

I think it was the water
Coming in
And going out-
Never pausing
Never faltering
Just an endless
And perfect
Procession

Yes,
I believe it was the water
That drew us in.

It was cloudy
That day we took our
Swan dive
That day we made our
Cliff jump
And the waves
Just splashed and roared
Beneath us...
Above us:
Just daring us...

To plummet
Through that icey water;
Abandon
Both our fear of time
And our fear of ourselves

Oh it was certainly the water
That let me find her
And it was certainly the water
That gave her reason
To find me

Of course
It was also the water
That allowed me to betray her
And her to betray me

It was the water
That allowed us
To strip one another's humanity away
And leave each other trapped
Amidst that terribly consistent roaring
Forever

When a door is open,
A love crook can steal the key,
like Bonnie and Clyde,
This couple is meant to be.

These two are like Peanut Butter and Jam,
One without the other is simply not possible,
it's like having Thanksgiving, without any Yams!

Together they are, together they be.
Life without each other cannot be seen.
What are those 3 words?
Oh yeah, I LOVE YOU.
Je t'aime,
Te Amo too! I'm afraid if he goes away, I'll be blue.
Some type of sickness,
maybe the flu.

But no, this couple is strong and won't break.
This couple gives more
and barely takes!
My babe? My boo? Yeah nicknames, there any many more.
I know this relationship will last,
plenty of adventures we will explore.

sad lonely restless
mind weak with old thoughts that are
more like bad habits.

Today I did it another time.

(Blood stained tissues and rubbing alcohol.)

I'm in too deep, I've been too deep.
I didn't say goodbye, I won't.
I am not strong enough to dig out.
I'm gonna stay here and sink.

(I tell myself all these things and I believe each and every one. )

My hips are red and again I wish it was my wrists.
I say goodbye to you my love, to say hello to the blade.

(I've cracked, I'm done. )

Red flows more than breath does.
Each and every night I let it go.
Can't say goodbye, its a part of me now.

(And nobody understands, so I can't explain the pain.)

I don't know why I haven't left yet, I hate it here.
I wish I was gone more every time I lie, but why haven't I gone?
I could of that day..but I didn't and I regret it.
Maybe today will be that day that I say goodbye one more time.
Don't forget I love you.
Goodbye.

(And today, I haven't been more dead. Tomorrow I'll be the least I've ever been)