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Stacy Mills Oct 2016
The depression I think has settled in.  
I can't seem to break it this time.
I can't breathe.  
I don't want to live.  
I don't seem to have a reason to right now anyhow.  
I'm tired of holding on when all I have to grasp are spider webs.  
I just want to let go
Stacy Mills Oct 2016
My demons got my depression in an uproar
My Demons cut me up
My Demons **** my joy
My Demons haunt my dreams
My demons utterly destroy me
My Demons push you away
My Demons always leave me left alone
My Demons they are never truly gone
they run rampant through my life for a while
and then disappear in hibernation
until the next ******-up thing disturbs them
my demons are my demons alone
I fight them silently everyday
My Demons let no one come close
I guess my demons protect me that way
Stacy Mills Sep 2016
I saw forever in your eyes.
Then you closed them tight.
You didn't even say any goodbyes.
And that just wasn't right.
Now again I lye here lost and alone.
No strength to get on with my day.
An emptiness felt but unshown.
I never thought it would end this way.
Stacy Mills Aug 2016
For my deadbeat father that doesn't care about me, that lies to me about ****, that doesn't even acknowledge that I'm alive, and that most importantly doesn't even act like a father to me half the time, I am done with the lies, the u not caring, the EVERYTHING you do and don't do for me! First of all the not caring, you can't even try to tell me that you care because I know you don't and I know you never have! Second of all the lying...... The birthday present you said you bought and what about the Christmas presents you said you had at home or that got lost in the mail where are all of those I'm not just some stupid little three-year-old I know you never got me anything. But what about Autumn and Alexis?Huh? They get everything oh but we can't forget about your perfect little Adyan or you're absolutely perfect son Nathan they all get anything they want phones, tablets, new beds NEW EVERYTHING!!! But then there's me. I get nothing because you don't care.YOU NEVER HAVE!! Thirdly the not even acknowledging I'm alive. When I went to North Carolina to visit you, because I actually cared and wanted to see you, you never did anything with me and don't even say that you were working 24/7 because you weren't. And lastly you don't even act like a father should. That pretty much ties everything together. You said I didn't have to go back to see you so guess what, IM NOT!! And just to let you know I didn't not have fun because my "nose was in my phone" it was because nobody at the house actually feels like family to me. Being on my phone was the highlight of my trip talking to people that actually care about me. It was better than spending time with you or anyone down there. Also while I am talking about deadbeat fathers Glenn(my sisters dad) you are such a low deadbeat **** for choosing drugs over your own daughter and pretty much giving up your rights to her. I love my sister with all of my heart and I would rather her be with us over you any day. Brian Zimmerman is such a better father like figure to me and my sister than either of you two! Happy late Father's Day Glenn Brian and Nathan.
Stacy Mills Aug 2016
I haven't talked to my brother in over a year
He won't answer the phone or even come near
My thirteen-year-old has the cops at the door
And my 9 year old is playing PlayStation on the floor
I had just woke up and relaxing in an Epson salt bubble soak
The youngest crashes in so fast the door almost broke
"The cops were just here Mom they wanted my sister"
I'm thinking "oh boy her *** is going to blister"
What, when, where, who, and why
I get dressed so fast, jump in the car and fly
My child has stayed last night at my mom's you see
so that was **** well where I needed to be
I get there and find out what's going on
It's breaking and entering and that sort of con
All talked through now and punishments dealt
I love her immensely so I told her how I felt
My mom kept the girls so I coud clean up my floor
Then someone comes knocking at my door
The first was okay but Along Comes an unwanted
And I wasn't nice as my displeasure was flaunted
I got him to leave and along comes another of whom I'm not sure
As a large conflict was just resolved between I and her
So I'm relaxing now and guess what's next
My phone dings with an unexpected text
It's my brother to tell me what **** I am
And expect me to welcome him Open Arms back to the fam
Already riled with today's fine events
I lash back with words maybe a bit too intense
Overwhelmed with how the day has played through
Upstairs to my room to calm is what I had to do
Now that it's done and in past tense
And I've gotten out all of my vents
I say to my oldest girl," you ****** up but I still love you"
I say to my brother," you ****** up but I still love you too"
And to all of my friends I left wondering where I had gone
"I'm on my way back down so put on a good song"
WHAT A DAY!!
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