this. exhausted night.
rests upon my poem.

gift me a night. if you can.
the one i see in your eyes.
when. you are happy
in pain.

maybe the world had been planning
since billion years.

to bring me born one day.

meteor showers.
big bang. breaking stars.
were all designed.
such that i could take birth.

in events. they conspired my birth.
to time. they wrote my coming.

(you never know)

my heart has enough tears.
to not let me. drown.

--- azaadi

this blank.
is made up of
times.

times. miles. and love.
last one -- stagnant.
blank for you.

blanket for me.

there have been.
deadbodies.
and graveyards.
all along.
in the battle inside.

--- clot

you.
were born from
the love of
two winters.
flower.
a wildflower.
of cold

you're.

let's die.
into a life tonight.

i see death. in air walls.
in your body, i see death.
in your heart, i already am.
in sights distant. and sources
of seeing, death descends.
like battles. sleepy.

--- death

i hate to see hills falling.
they signify. my best days.

--- drowning.

in my flow.
it doesn't break barriers.
but the water itself breaks.
into poems. immortal.

--- flow

i see each dawn.
how my night. grows into morning.
i don't see it as flower.
blooming from bud.

i see it as my young. growing to old.

my night is a poem.
my poem. of all poems, i write.
i see it aging. each morning.
i see it dying. each morning.

the mirror questions your whereabouts?

i had kept.
those cute gaps. between
the words of our poem.
to hold you in my arms.
and hide in them. forever.

your hatred. and my tears.
widened them. and widened
us too.
to never even visit.
the poem. we built together.
again .

--- hair

one day
i will be so good.
that the stars i look upon
this night. will descend to
my hands themselves.
and in the distance they cross.
to reach me. i will expand to
a height gracefully.
i have always dreamt of.

there will be stories
behind each inch of those
height and distance.
which i will never confide.

instead i would just smile.
like i have always done.
and finally say to myself
'you have reached. congrats.'

--- happiness. of their descent.

the chimney.
of this home. exudes
fumes. which i breathe.

they have words.
i make a poem.

(heart. on 6/9/17)

my love grows
like a flower.

cracking the soil
of my heart.

--- heartbreak

the closest home near you. is you.

let there be.
no body
for peace.

just me, you.
this air.
and absence.

--- home calling.

i smell of roses
in my wasteland.

--- hope

how would it be.
if my home had been. in the claw
of a sparrow ?
the bag. three rooms.
music. and me.
there --- so tiny. yet free.

---- how would it be?

i fear to erode from myself.
the roots are brittle now.
it has been old.
since my birth. to my fall.
and bloom again in esteem.
it looked like home.
the closest home. near me.

// i lived in me.

these days.
i don't talk much.
my words. have dried.
and are crumbled like leaves.

(unless written)

--- i write.

you are the greatest.
expedition. of all earth.

be the vagabond
of yourself.

erase off light.
to shrink down.
light years. to peace.

(fakira)

there's rhythm
in your fall.

your defeat is so graceful.

--- like a poem

bring me an honest door.
to leave my letter. safe.

your mind is the
most successful entity.
it has reached places
that your life.
can't even imagine.

when the whole world sleeps.
my flower. compete trees.
and win each night.

--- mind

they have been mine.
written songs.
and. your absence.

(6/9/17)

the white coat's a fake.
the charcoal still
absorbs
and burns.

--- my heart

for.
this is the time.
birds fill grains
into my hollow bones.
they peck my sense,
fly my body.
rest in my soul.
and chirp in my poems.
words they are.
and me ?

--- their night.

there is a gulit.
of not doing the thing
you never wanted to do.

and doing the thing
with which this soul
sleeps as lovers.

--- of confused choices.

does the world
reside in your eyes?
and i live outside it?
cause whenever i
see into them,
neither do i find
sorrow. nor love. nor hatred.
for me.

i see indifference.
as if unknown to the gravity
of your world.
i am.

my poems
are illegal children
of a science student.

--- physics. but poems.

me. my gaps. and fullstops.
words ?
me. i said.

(poem)

help me drown
into this
rise of self.

--- reincarnation

sometimes.
the exile is better than home.

--- on the way of homecoming.

hardly do i encounter days.
which don't
turn a teacher.

--- mind

behind the doors
in the thaw, fire sets in.
like dew, these tears
speak so mild. of mercy.
to let go. to quit.
there are winds within
and storms that these
lungs exhale.
of mess, to atoms,
this walk destines to abyss.

the stories. of miles.
are cutters.
they cut my body.
and spit my soul to corners.
never to come back maybe.

calm, i am.
a land of wait.
wait. wait till i quit quitting
the sense of living.
wait till my time comes,
which i will create. breaking clocks.
breaking clocks of mortals.
of minds and boredom.

wait till breath accumulates
to burst into rebellion
against self. against you.
for keeping yourself down.
to bear stares and clouds.
demons will face demons.
of goodness they will be.
of life. of height which i make.

bring a pair of necks.
to see me stands again that day.
if one gets broken. bending upto
my height. the other would
get to see my tears
of walking again into
fairest times of mine.

fairest. that had never been created.

---- see me, stand up.

in this run. that's God.
only the course needs
to change.

i will read a poem.
for him. one day.
the man
who writes. for all.
to death. to jesus.
to winds within.

i will write for him.
after the ink ends.
after the want sleeps.
to reason. again.
there's no need.

--- stop. 9/9/17

i don't know, how soft looks like.
since heartbreak.

--- strong

i love for looks. and.
i look for love.

matters.

in both the stations.
i found anonymity.
one. in love.
another in strength.

--- tired. of 12/9/17

now that i'm a bird.
a little broken. wings -- leave it.
now that i fly beyond codes.
beyond races and worries
of drowning into the sky.
sea it is. sky, i think.
now that i gloriously
fail. and cry invisibly. and
it hurts and bleeds to
see worms growing
over an author of ruins.

some days touch back.
like the slow writing of
letters this night. soft they are.
calm, and old. i get the pain
of happiness, that people say.

rare they are. but happens.

one was today.
my nest. the other place
where maybe somehow
my mind lived in love.
of comforts. of peace, though short lived.
but feather.
my creations were loved. cheered.
i first dared to fly.
from that nest.

and i remember it today.

there were times.
they put miles in my eyes
so beautifully.
my old leaves. talks. were
praised bright. though i knew
they were dull.

and i realize it now.

this morning.
the verandah lay still.
my fear it was. my cry it was.
i wanted to escape.
the father, whom i once... leave it.

words choke this night.
i would weep saying the father
who hugged that day saying
'you are a director'. to me. of all souls.
i stand weak in front of him
today.
i write more. i write much these days.
i wanted to tell him.
spend hours telling him what i do,
that the world doesn't know.
neither encourages, nor pats for.

i knew he would listen.
don't tell me wrong, when i say, he loves me the same. even now.
i know he would listen so patiently.
but i neither had the walk
nor the way to confront him
and say 'uncle, i still write'.

(pains of happiness)
--- to a friend's parents.

watch your step
before you fall.

this heart.
has already been
dug into open graves.
where dead moments. live.
take your time.
to give me blanks. to heal.
fill your mind.
breathe.
and then jump

to this love.
that will be waiting
to embrace you.

--- to the newcomer

love-letters.
those loved letters.
i loved letters.

this life is but a struggle
to become.
poetry
someday.

be it hostile.
it's still a heart.