I crave so much
it curdles my blood
I need some release
I need to be loved

Love cakes my arteries
sweetness encroaches me
It's giving me cavities
bound as its devotee

Our life can't start soon enough
Getting off on hate just feels too rough
When due south we both will flee
When bodies close our parted sea

I ache for our simple pleasures
For our tired, languid, gestures
For our vested, fruitful, leisure
Though our time and distance often measured
While both our suppressor
Let us never accept lesser
Than our treasured
Than our together

Such intensive feelings
Met half way
Under one sky
Along one shore

Such pixelated grins
Met half way
Under glass screens
Along one call

For every minute spent in
Questionably unrequited waters
My lungs filled
My head went under
Until I was set in my ways
To swim to the surface
And let such expression loose
and be it such boundless expression

For all intents and purposes
I am insane with such promise
That is your presence
Rubber room bound
In a warm embrace
Of a straight jacket
Signed, yours truly

And so we meet upon mutual feeling
On a glass horizon
That we might not dare break
Lest we see how far
We might have to fall
For one and another
Together

Molten lead fist
Self justification
Slap the face, the maker
Your bleeding heart
For your own penny thoughts
Slap the mirror, the maker
Society isn't the threat
Just your sunken shadow
and your molten, righteous, fist

Do I make you wince?
Was I a lost fawns salt lick?
Was I a never was, your life's whiskey limp?
I guess I never took your hint
I guess you thought I could take the hit
Since that's been that conversations been zip
I can't say I was always innocent
But let's hope its a two way lapse of conscience

When white-caps broke the Winter shore
The dirt had loved this tree no more
Birds who lost their taste for fish
Peck the wood bugs as succulent dish

"I hold myself above the sand
once overseer
baron of this untouched land"

Wind ran through his friends stood frame
Whom host less life, who's bark more tame
Lost count of rings decades ago, busy
Holding small ones from the snow


"Only once did man touch this land
In this, in us, they came to understand
We're small ones, we're trees
We're all the sand."

Nothing is always as life, not always in it's time
Nothing is always as death, as I gave the forest mine

As my blood coursed throughout
I was fortified in your love
Rapped your knuckles on my chest
Asking to become a memory

With a three inch incision
I welcome you home
I play with your hair
You hold my viscera

Blood coursed throughout
Staring, entwined, hazel eyes
Evaluating every valve and ventricle
As you're what keeps them beating

having woken up
to finally see
there had fallen
my worlds last tree.
I didn't get up to look
what was there to see?
just this barren prairie
its getting harder to breathe...

Give me someone
Who I want to write about
Every single day
Every week
Every month
Deserving of a book
A syllabus of poetry
A bound book of affection
And use this account as a monument
Of unspoken words and feelings
I'll never tell her
Not one word
Not until its most important
Not until it's full
Not until she would need a lifetime
To read it all
Not until it's love
So when she finds it
She checks it
Every month
Every week
Every single day
In a state
Of constant update
A feeling never unwritten
A thought never undeclared
Give me someone
I want to write about

I remember when my pillow had a shirt.

Laying in bed every night it was gripped tight
And there were wrinkles not creases
And the silence was so ceaseless
Laying in deadest night made memories my light

The shirt, sized small and plaid.

Now the cold morn feels so warm.
And I know no more old guilt
And it's a lilting life I've built
Distorted social norms
Former perceptions deformed.

**A box in a closet, now folds, unworn.

I often fill my head with bile
but when I tell myself a lie
its an unnoted half truth

there was always the hashtag
that sounded to me
how you speak out my name
and to be now, not alone
cries to me, plays, like a wicked game

there's a moment of silence
for the fact there's another
but I, no sorrowing man
know chains meant be broken
life cannot be our pixilated dreams
when reality, like a child's toy
begins to tear at its seams

I'm the sand in an hour glass
Waiting for some time to pass
And the brass tacks
Is time and space now
For what will last

The Autumn air always grew stale
Until unseasoned bloom
Pluck the last leaf from the tree
Just as my new plants hue
Were sun shone locks of you

Your Unrequited Skin
From My Sovereign Starving Hand
With A Staggered Solemn Mind
Just How Much Can One Man Stand

I'm a passenger here..
When was it last
Morning dew soaked my shoes
When we'd watch red skies rise
On a rocking ocean float
After nights watching stars
In our time without cars.

Now I'm a passenger here,
So I've long since feared
Something new has a hold of me
What am I supposed to be?
What replaces those nights
Of laying upon lawns
Where the only thing wrong
Was sharing headphones
And she picked a bad song.

As I raked sand across them,
The hot coals that once marked my road ahead
I covered them just enough,
So that I couldn't see them
And I breathed a deep sigh of relief in knowing
That now I can walk on fresh grass
Satisfied in knowing
My feet weren't made for coals

And I press my face to the screen
In a fleeting hope
That our foreheads might touch
That I might give
What we do so desperately deserve
And just to let
Our most basic instinct take over us

Ajoined faces
Connected in thought
Contact is ours,
Contact is our
Essential
Human
Need

In this dream-scrape
In my minds eye
It's a heartbreak
Without your sigh

We're at the blue house
With the black door
But when you're not here
Sleep is just a chore

Visit tonight, Visit tonight,
Visit tonight, Visit tonight,

Visit tonight, Visit tonight,
Visit tonight, Visit tonight,

Whats the point of lucidity
When it's not you here that's with me

In this dream-scrape
In my minds eye
Here's just pointless
Without your sigh

Every night
We finish talking
I collapse into myself
Into my bed

A deep exasperated sigh
Turn off the light
Burst with warmth
Wordlessly content

I break the mold
I made for us
Once I've cast
My time with you
So nothing can
Touch greatness
So profoundly
With boundless
Feeling and purpose

I'll keep the time
Cast with you
I won't have to remake it
Because there's nothing
to lose

If a page view was a straight view
Into the eye of the mind
Its not.

I say I'm not gonna spend a dime
and waste my minds precious time
waste bated breath on some unread rhymes
act like its fine
like it's always been a victim-less crime
like I didn't feel like I was on the clothesline
hung out to dry
buts its fine
its fine
its fine
It's Fine.

But...
I am fine..
I would never say that I wasted my time.
We're in different vineyards,
We're maturing
And you make a very fine wine.
I just have the tendency to martyr myself sometimes.

I hope there is some guilt
I hope this not from a bad place
I hope you can understand and appreciate what it is you had and what it is you've lost and what it is you've gained
I hope you understand there's a person hurt
I hope you understand that it wasn't the wrong choice

I hope for your happiness
I hope for a life for you
I hope for some reason
He's the life
I made promise to

But my stomach will pit
At knowing your bliss
A now long awakened passion
On some long pronounced kiss

I question as a man
If this is who I should be
To want your desires, made true
Sometimes feeling at the expense of me.

To make lofty your pedestal
In spite of this choice
To ache heavily in envy
And not stifle, but hear your voice.

It's a long dormant kind of love
When despite its hurt
They're always the one you want to put above.

Sometimes I wonder if I still get thought about, I mean, I know I must.

I wonder, when you can't sleep, to whom and when your thoughts do creep.

I don't want to be that place in the back of your mind.
That numbs you to your new love, because what you had loved
Is left behind.

Self pity and questions of when and how
were to the ashen ground
under my suspended heel
in just the thought of reaching down
praying at a vigil of questions
I can't yet even hope to broach

To think what had been done
what could have been done
is only my own exercise
in futility
to make revision what we had penned
in thick, black, ink

feeling her ego
   bruising
around my neck
maybe there's a face
among our still young
Jackson Pollack loving

I think about you
I think about how much I think about you
I think about how I think about how much I think about you
I think about you everywhere
And think about how I thought about you everywhere
And think about how I think about how much I think about you everywhere

You
Have
Become
The
Only
Thought

thats..
that...

So
You're 538 kilometres away
That's 334 miles
Walking
Is 3 miles per hour
10740 minutes
179 hours
7 Days and 11 hours

Every day I think about dropping everything
And making this trip

Harold Chasen:*  *I love you, I love you
Maude:  *That's Wonderful! Go love some more.

could hardly go without an hour
glower, in light of the love she would shower
whats to be done when we're all i could do
where's meant life's light if it cannot pass through

We Linger.

As...
Part of a person
Long thought lost
Carried by vein's current
From it's long laden frost

I'm a man again.
I've realized.*
An awakening moment of prehension.
Into a moment years since materialized.

I really do hurt myself

nights were long sighs and lonely dreams
sleeping while your shirts on my pillow
and my pillow is in my arms
now its in a cardboard box
detox

now my nights are a real person
and sweat ingrains the sheets
I can feel warmth up against me
I feel her breath
a heartbeat

but I can still feel a pull from a pixelated vision
I dont have to type a word
Just the first letter and I know I'm closer
I get my life back, I feel in control
Gasping at wisps, so plainly absurd

Its gone. I'm not with whom you're really meant to be
Its gone. It's 5 months in a week
Its gone. Whats yours for me that's really left to see?
Its gone. But its really just beginning, so to speak.

I just want to know, I just want to know

Send me some moments
Let me get the most from you
Please don't pass me by

Its been two years without true feeling
of the earnest gesture of friendship

Misguidedly tucked away
Far from my one true solice

While life will endeavor to push us forward
While the most savory piece of life still hangs
To my waited breath

Wheres life gonna roll
Hows it gonna hold
The dam just wants to break
But nothing was ever put at stake

Just this autumn leaf
Run down stream
By these rusted train tracks
And long coroded self esteem

Who tells us how to play these pieces
Are we making the right moves
How can I protect my queen
What is life's counter going to choose

Love flew you in
Like a whirlwind
While I'm waiting by the sea
On some gentle summer breeze

"Give me someone"
and you did

why is it that you're the one whos got more hate and resentment for me than I do for you? does that make any sense?

"All I needed was the love you gave,
All I needed was another day,
You're all I ever knew
Only
You"

I forgot what it all feels like

Somewhere the pillow in your shirt
just became a pillow and shirt
they became separated
I left them that way
I couldn't smell
My mind forgot
what warmth
was like

I don't feel lips, I don't remember lips
Hands on your hips, my mind's eye eclipsed
I have nothing to grip, but a thin veiled cloud
the memories, they slip, as my mind disavowed

I'm vulnerable, I'm human, I'm just a man,
All I can do is the best that I can,

You quote me verbatim
Just words you've never heard
What I wrote for myself
Did you read? Did you learn?
Why is what I muse your concern?

You'll be happy, whatever you do

I just hope I can do right by you

I'll be there, whatever you choose

I just hope I can do right by you

2 years ago
I was far from the man I am now
I can only really put who I am
Onto the shoulders of two

But those I felt so dearly to
To whom I'd loved
In another shade of light
Have grown even closer
To who I am
I pray
I ask this give me solace

two years
and its gone
it hasnt even been
two weeks

I already know what you want to tell me
whats the sense in dancing around the obvious

dont leave me haaaangin on the teeeeelephone
*dont leave me haaaangin on the teeeeelephone

Often in my daydreams, old friends come to mind
I pray under my breath, that life might treat you kind

I can't, I won't, I don't, write, speak, or call
Whatever that reason may be, my love is with you all

What a pleasure it will be, to see you again one day
And should you ever cross my path, I have a couch where you can stay.