We dreamed of becoming more than what we were.
And we escaped in the smoke that filled the room.

Our souls trapped...
Jailed behind our ribcages.

So we sat there...
Changing out the records.
Mouthing all the lyrics.

Waiting for the perfect moment to speak words.
Those times never came...

Instead we became more silent.

Inhaling the smoke.
Exhaling it all the same.

And I sat there wondering what else was out there.

I felt so comfortable in your surroundings.
Too high to realize what was really going on.

I broke the cycle.
The routine of a roller coaster ride that wasn't fun.
Longing for something more.
Wondering if I deserved better.

Even when I thought you were the best...
I started to question that.

My love for you may never die...
But my addictions did.

My tears brought on the clouds.
And I had to follow the sun.

No more.
No more tears.
No more love to give to you.

You hurt me.
With your words...
Your actions.
Your hands.

Why?

What did I ever do to you?
I loved you.

And now here you are...
Wanting me back...
Because I finally got the courage to leave.

How dare you.
How dare you say you've changed when you haven't.

I can never forgive you for what you have done to me.

The bruises.
The anxiety.

You took away my freedom.
You took away my fire.
My passion.
My happiness.

I feel sick.

The things you did to me...
Even when I said no.
'No' never meant anything to you.
You did what you wanted to do anyways.

And now you sit there...
Dumbfounded.
Questioning why I left...

Maybe you're too high to realize...
Maybe you're blaming me for not communicating.

But it was you.
And I have finally had enough.

I find comfort in a hot cup of coffee.
I feel daring in places unknown.

I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
From these roads I've traveled alone.

I've walked barefoot on my own shattered dreams.
Where the wounds have cut me so deep...
My blood has painted the ground so red...
The memories keep me from falling asleep.

The nights are long and weary.
Time slowly tiptoes by...
My thoughts are dark and eerie...
By then, my demons start to reply.

Stored in the darkest corners of my mind...
Are the things my demons untangle.
Everything I have ever wished to leave behind...
My demons' grip begins to strangle.

My mind is racing.
I'm gasping for air.

I'm ready.
I will stare into fear.
Until the end.

Your eyes show me your soul.
How it dances behind them...

Inhale.
Exhale.
Repeat.

Every morning is a fresh start.
With a new beat to feel in your chest.

I see it.
I know it so well...

And here I am...
Standing before you.
Like I want to.

Jealousy isn't an option.
Because even though we may be putting the pieces together...
It won't be the same puzzle you started.

Everything seems to be falling into place.
So perfectly.

As if it's too good to be true.
So my heart takes small steps...
Treading lightly on those familiar feelings.

Knowing that at any moment it could crumble.
But I keep tiptoeing...
Forward.

Breathe.

I want to believe it all so quickly...

In my mind, I know the warning signs...
In my heart, I feel the pain of the past.
Reminding me of the risks I am taking.
In my soul, yours is intertwined with mine.

I love you.
Deeper than any sea.
More than any amount of time I have left.
I would give you my last breath if you asked.

Keep going...
Don't look back.

Refresh.
Restart.

Over and over.
Until it feels right.
Until it feels like you can breathe again.



I can finally breathe again.

No longer feeling trapped.
My soul begins to sing.

No longer praying for oxygen while I'm being pulled under.
Drowning.

I've broken free of my anchor.
I am floating.
I'm a fighter.

I can swim again...
To the surface

Sinking was never an option.

Let go...
Let it all go.

The regrets.
The embarrassment.
The shame.

Let.
It.
All.
Go.

My heart beats unevenly.
Shattered and put back together again...
Tape and band-aids.
Time has made me see the darkness within the day.
Where the shadows never sleep.
I find myself searching for the pain again.
Squeezing lemon upon my fresh wound...
Just to feel something...
Anything at all.
The thought of insanity fills my head.
Chaos in a closed room.
Hurt, broken, and unforgiving.
No longer able to sing a sweet song.
Unable to beat the same way his does.

The roads seem lonely.
My bed feels extra big.

The house is empty.
And so is my heart.

I feel powerless.