I may be blind in the darkness
but while I'm wrapped in that
gauze of black I can see the
mysterious network of cells
inside my beating heart

It makes me wonder how long
I've been deadened from indulging
dazzling firework displays, giving up
pieces of my livelihood, my true vision
of what I am without the rudeness of words
leaving their shallow prints on my skin

Respect me in full in the darkness
as a synergy in session, holding
encrypted notes from my creator
*whoever that may be

We work as if to vanquish sin, delight
In pay day, reign the ego boosting bills
The hours nine to five grow tired and gripe,
Our sense of worth built firm in green and thrills

A victory deserves a toast, so raise
Your glass and cheer! But don't you dare talk ill
Of men who seek the outside bench, no place
To sleep, ignored by wealthy launderers who'll

Deny the beggar hundred cents yet blow
One hundred bucks to keep their hair due kempt
If love were space then that's how far I'd go
Myself, to mourn the late compassion's sense

It's true: they may be rich upon retire
But who will hold them when their time expires?

I find myself in a colder place
growing older, not wiser it seems
the light has subsided from my face
fixed in the stare of old dreams
a simple life I once desired
a partner and children to love
a haven from those who relent
who are mired
in the madness a few rise above
I grow slowly and silently into this place
of solitude and fear
that I am drifting too calmly
that I am hiding too well
for another to find me here

In the fragile hands of my little girl
who knows not the agony of my years
nor realizes the joy she provides
the balance her innocence brings
she holds a picture
framed in red oak
figures in black and white
posing beneath a gray tree
which no longer provides shade
on a hill no longer there
she talks to them in almost silent whispers
those who were gone before knowing her first breath
those I miss so desperately
she sets the picture back in it's place
and for a moment looks achingly sad
'tell me about them Daddy'
she says

Float it down the river;
a bottle with a note
full of fragile words and folded without hope:

"To whom it may concern,
I've grown weary of the worries -
worn down by the constant sound of thoughts spilling out of my head -
burnt out on turning down every opportunity to be saved.
One day, I'll get away,
but I'm in no hurry.
By the time you read this, I may already be dead,
but I might not be."

Standing in the sand with toes dug in deep;
watching the sun gleam off a bottle as it shrinks into the distance.
Goodbye to all the worst parts of me.

Hello horizon.

Love radiated from every word she'd say
And I'd be stricken with a saccharine urge
My heart would lurch and I could only obey

The swelling romance because c'est
la vie with its unrelenting scourge
Love radiated from every word she'd say

The trials and misfortune of day
In such a plastic mind converged
My heart would lurch, and then I'd obey

Expressing myself kept regret at bay
I held faith, let my submarine submerge
Love radiated from every word she'd say

We'd talk about coauthoring - "we may"
And maybe the chance will some day emerge
My heart would lurch, and then I'd obey

"If we don't work, we can always play
Until you and I are on the verge..."
Love radiated from every word she'd say
My heart would lurch, and then I'd obey

Your elders gave you the word
To ignore would be folly
Look fearsome and undeterred

With drunken rants, the wisdom slurred
that made your skin all crawly
Your elders gave you the word

Quiet, you would have preferred
It was burned down by hurled mollies
Look fearsome and undeterred

With disobedience absurd
Nod twice and wear your Jolly
Your elder gave you the word

The whispers stop at the flightless bird
Chased down by a Border Collie
Look fearsome and undeterred

Automatic the scatter of the herd
Upon an unannounced volley
Your elders gave you the word
Look fearsome and undeterred