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Sophia Feb 2015
why is it
that even though the thought of you
is causing me to feel this way
the only comfort i want
is in your arms
it's been a week.
Sophia Feb 2015
*******, *******, sleeping around.
Call it what you will, just not making love.
Most nights I fall asleep on someone's chest, however never the same consecutively.
Lying on ***** sheets next to someone who's name I dont know
And won't remember.
You see i was taught
That this is what happens
"When a man and woman love each other very much"
But thats just *******.
As I crawl through anothers bed my emotions shut off,
love never comes into play.
It never has.
As I surrender to pleasure not only mine but theirs.
It courses through my body and veins
Bringing life and feeling into the empty limbs.
Every finger, toe, and arm being brought alive if only for an hour or less.
Every kiss spreading warmth, every touch igniting my senses.
As soon as it begins its over.
The life i had within me falters, dripping from my fingertips and toes, falling from the ends of my hair.
As I lay in dark cold rooms where I spend my nights.
Sleep never crossing my mind.
Numbly staring at the walls feeling empty once again.
Everybody knows.
With all the pictures I send without a care in the world.
I fill the requests one by one, going down the list.
When I walk down the halls they stare and whisper.
Their words dont mean a **** thing.
And so I fall asleep in his bed.
I fall asleep in her bed.
Anywhere but my own.
I'm not scared
I'm never nervous
I never care.
Because as the clothes come off as the hands make contact with my flesh as the lips skim my body.
My emotions leave.
I can mechanically go down without a glitch or hesitation.
I can undress and redress quicker than your average.
I can move my hips and hands in that perfect way.
Im up for that.
I'm down for anything.
Call me, I'm your girl.
Sorry mom and dad, your little girl's a *****.

(still a draft)
Sophia Jan 2015
Maybe it was because what i hoped for finally happened
Maybe it was because im scared of getting hurt
Maybe it was because deep down i feel as though you dont like me
Maybe its because you said you weren't interested in anyone at the moment
Maybe it's because you could be the first to hurt me
Maybe its because its too soon
Maybe its because you were tired
Maybe its because you dont care
Maybe its because you do
Maybe
Just maybe
Its because you like me too.
Wow this is ****** as **** (especially the end holy hell) but i had to get out some anxious emotions from tonight
Sophia Jan 2015
you compare me to the stars
because I'm shattered
into tiny pieces
across an endless dark expanse
each one
supporting another's life
yet slowly but surely
each is dying out
slowly but surely
your pretty little galaxy will be gone
  Dec 2014 Sophia
Benjamin
you inhale the glitters of the moon
and exhale the rays of the sun
baby you are my sunshine
you light up my world and there is  love in the air
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