Sofia Paderes: Favorites

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

I am

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

Ashley

I am

I am the broken pocket watch you never fixed
I am the wrapping paper everyone eventually throws away
I am the paper you lecture your feelings on
I am the platte but I only seem to have red paint
I am the page in your favorite book that you skipped over because I wasn't important enough
I am the unread poem you never bothered to check out
I am the map you forgot to bring and left behind
I am the girl with peacock eyes who never seems to cry
I am the child with no fears except herself and you
I am the daughter you called sweetie and you're the one I called daddy

I am the one you said you'd never hurt.
a.c.

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

mommy, daddy

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

Ashley

mommy, daddy

mommy, daddy, come look
I painted a picture
of bro, you two, and me
don't we look happy?
we're such a perfect family

mommy, daddy, come look
I painted a picture
of my mommy & daddy getting back together
it's beautiful, isn't it?
can this happen?
we can be such a perfect family

daddy, come look
I painted a picture
of how I miss living with mommy
can I move back, daddy?
why do you keep me here?

mommy, come look
I painted a picture
of how daddy & new mommy treat me
their words hurt but maybe they don't mean it
maybe it was just an accident

mommy, daddy, come look
I painted a picture
without a pen or paper
instead with a blade & my skin
isn't it beautiful?
I only seem to have red paint, though
I hope you like it, daddy
after all,

you were my inspiration.
a.c.

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

ungranted wishes

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

Ashley

ungranted wishes

when I was three years old
    I wished on a shooting star that
daddy and mommy would stop yelling
that they would stop hurting and love

    when I was eight years old
I wished on a broken wishbone that
mommy and daddy would fall in love
that they wouldn't dwell on the past

     when I was nine years old
I wished on a swaying dandelion that
mommy would marry this new daddy
and they would never hurt each other

  when I was ten years old
I wished on pretty birthday candles
that new daddy would stop drinking
and that mommy would stop loving this man only for his sober side of life

   when I was eleven years old
    I wished on loose eyelashes that
daddy would give us back to mommy
and wouldn't force us to live with him

   when I was twelve years old
  I wished on a vintage wishing well
that daddy and his wife would stop
picking at my flaws like futile weeds

    when I was thirteen years old
    I wished on a weightless feather
   that my brother wouldn't leave me
  alone with daddy and fake mommy

    when I was fourteen years old
I wished on the clock that read 11:11
that I wouldn't have to be here alone
that the judge would favor my mom
and send me back to her love forever

     now I'm fifteen years old
     I have nothing left to wish on
but I wish I could stop feeling this way
and stop forming scars on my body
when the days and nights are rough
and I wish that I could stop thinking
about life without my existence in it
and learn to love myself and make it
  through the night as best as I can

and that maybe one day
I'll make it out alive.
a.c

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

A Poem For Each Of The Boys I’ve Ever Loved (Part 2)

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

naivemoon

A Poem For Each Of The Boys I’ve Ever Loved (Part 2)

A Poem For Each Of The Boys I’ve Ever Loved

Ⅰ.
sometimes your scent travels in the wind,
suffocating me like a nasty perfume,
leaving me to wonder if i’ll ever forget your smell.

Ⅱ.
you wore the sweatshirt you let me borrow a few days ago
i mean, i don’t even think you remember i had it at all.
it was just another sweatshirt in your drawer.

Ⅲ.
your handwritten notes sit in neat pile next to my bed.
it has occurred to me that maybe thats the cause of my nightmares.
but really i think you’re the reason for everything and anything.

Ⅳ.
you have the prettiest eyes in the whole entire world.
im satisfied knowing i was once the reason they lit up so bright.
I’ll never let someone take the sparkle in my eyes away again.

Ⅴ.
we used to listen to music together and we’d laugh a lot.
you’d snicker at they way i lip sang to myself.
and id laugh because you really didn’t care i was a ******.

ⅤⅠ.

most of my days are spent wishing you were still here
you never really know how much you love someone
until they don’t love you anymore and thats a sick thought.

(ps, each of these poems are about you and only you and always you. i miss you. love always, the pathetic girl with a big heart and green eyes.)

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

XII

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

Nina

XII

I knew I shouldn’t listen. But your eyes convinced me, all devil-like and crinkly around the edges. You painted me up and muddled my lines so I couldn’t tell where you began. You played your little game so well, and you won- you made me believe. You pulled every rug I had straight out from under me, so of course I let you catch me. The fall was easy, simple as falling asleep. I didn’t question you, didn’t know how to put my fists up and swing. You pulled out my veins and snapped them like violin strings and marveled at the discord, how it was a symphony to your ears. I believed you. You said you wanted to destroy something beautiful- I was not beautiful but I let you do it anyway. You drank me up and smacked your lips and I let you come back for seconds. You made a feast of me and all there’s left are the heart strings- desperately trying to hold me together, with nothing to hold on to. You didn’t like how your voice echoed off of me, so you found your next exhibit space. You said you wanted to destroy something beautiful, but you destroyed me.

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

Honey

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

Darbi Alise Howe

Honey

In the honeyed season we cry for the missed lips,
Those slow strolls along the coast of nostalgic seas.
For the ones taken and for the ones lost
Those who vanished through doors without keys.

In the hopes of what we will find in the morning
We are dismayed opening our eyes to grey.
The months gained and the days lost;
We our dreams of sunlight fade away.

In the hearts of the victim and hunter
Both bury pain and anger beneath sorrow.
Though one is running and one is chasing
Both hunger for the honeyed lips of tomorrow.

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

Maid of Moon and Glade

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

Seán Mac Falls

Maid of Moon and Glade

Water nymph, you are the gentle wind
Bursting the daisy, your eyes, are bells
Of blue echinacea spiriting the light—
Echoing sound which water makes, ring
The laureled forest leaves in cathedrals
Newly sprung of pews, meadows, spark,
The dance of bees, who trace your honey
Scent in combs of ambrosia and sunshine.
The miraculous waters are floored under
Your white, lily petals of feet, your nests
Of hair are embracing tendrils of the wild
Grape, wine and sweet, long forgetfulness.
Maid of the wood, daughter to the moon;
Are you of Elysium or temptress of doom?

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

Sometimes I Think About Death.

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

Andrew Durst

Sometimes I Think About Death.

Sometimes
I think about dying
No, I'm not suicidal
I just,
Wonder...

I wonder what it's like to be
Lifeless.
Is there an
"After life?"
Will I have
Five senses?
What happens when I
Close my eyes
For good?

I can't be the
Only one
Who stops to
Think
About what it's
Like...
What it's like for
Your loved ones and
The people that
Impacted your life
To realize
That your gone
And you won't be
Coming back.

I wonder
Who would care
And who would
Be perfectly fine.
My worries
Lie with the ones
Who don't.

Sometimes
I think about death
Because
I don't want to
Think about
Life.

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

My ocean of problems

Sep 2013 Sofia Paderes

Logan Smith

My ocean of problems

As a little girl I used to get scared when the tide washed over my feet,
causing them to sink into the sand,
I thought the sand might consume all of me
So I would try to run,
But you can't run too fast in water,
It always seemed like it was impossible to get out.

Now that I've grown up I still get that feeling
the invisible water washes over me
***** me in,
makes escape impossible,
but this time I'm drowning,
barely able to get a breath out every now and then
water fills my lungs,
making it impossible to scream for help.

Even as I sit and laugh with my loved ones,
I feel it,
drowning me,
suffocating me,
I try to run,
but the sand consumes me.