Hi
I think I know you
No, you've never actually met me before,
But I think I've seen you in his eyes,
every time he looked at me.
I think I've heard you in his voice,
every time he said I was beautiful.
And I think I've heard your name in his heartbeat.
I’m pretty sure he only closed his eyes when he kissed me,
so that he could pretend it was you.
When he held me I could feel him trying to somehow shape me into you.

I know you don’t have a clue who I am.
I also know that he loves you.
And that I hate you.

If I ever do meet you in person,
I’m probably gonna punch you in the face.
Sorry.
It’s nothing personal.
I've just been you for a little too long.
So it’s only fair that if I hurt,
You do too.

I learned to spell my name at the kitchen table with wooden letters.
I was told not to leave until I got it right.
It was confusing at first.
So I stared at the letters.
L
I saw a letter I recognized and a smile grew across my face
I tried to sound out the rest the way I was taught
As I sat there the letters started to make sense
and my name started to form.
Suddenly I had all 5 letters
All 3 consonants
And both of the vowels.
My identity was born.

9 years go by like the shooting star I’ve been making my wishes on.
I’m standing in front of that same table.
In that same kitchen
But everything’s different now.
And I’m wishing I couldn’t hear them,
Screaming like they’ve lost their minds.
Roaring like thunder
Rain falls from my eyes and soaks my cheeks
As the storm that’s been waiting in the air for 13 years finally pours down.

3 years later I’m still picking up the pieces.
And I’m too naive to realize that they’ve been destroyed for too long
and I can’t put them back together.
But maybe if I stare long enough I’ll see something familiar.
Something I recognize.
Maybe if I look hard enough I’ll find myself again.
Maybe if I sound out the letters
F
A
M
I
L
Y

Maybe I can make it okay again.

Love does not
complicate your breathing
That's lust
Love allows you to finally
breathe just right

For no reason at all,
I began to feel home sick
in my own home

And
so
I
mourned
the
loss
of
something
unknown

She was beautiful, but not in the way you would expect a person to be beautiful.
You could see it by the way her dark green eyes fixated on you, like she could
see all your thoughts blooming like wildflowers from your head. You could see it
by the way she held her ceramic coffee cup, with both hands, embracing the warmth
and taking deep sips of that magic black liquid.
Their was something about her, something so... genuinely unique.
You could feel the electric pulse of her aura going through your nervous system.
There was something about this girl, telling, urging me to just say one simple hello.