I catch myself
Going back in time
Let’s have that baby
Let’s go get married

His eyes are like honey
But he tells me I’m the only one
To ever say that

And he makes me feel like
I could lay down
And rest awhile
Lying down in the sun
Eyes closed
Heat radiating
Easy
Like a hot summer day

I continue talking about you in the past tense
Why do you keep talking about him like he’s dead
They ask me
Because to me he is
I reply
Everyone keeps moving about their tasks

It’s already been four almost five years
Isn’t that crazy
And through this ocean of change
I can still see your eyes in my mind
They make me feel free

Some things neednt be said
They stand the way ancient trees do
Just like the way
I love you

I wish I had
A little more
Time to choose

Forgive me, I forgot the meaning

Of the word

When every promise I received,

Even the ones wrapped in shiny paper,

Were empty.

Here you are
Standing in the mirror
Beside yourself
Inbetwix yourself
Don’t listen
Don’t listen to what they say

Today
I miss you
I open my eyes
And
I
Miss
You

*******.

His words were warm
Like a dollop of hot butter
Sliding down a stack of pancakes

I hate his stupid smile,
I hate his stupid face.

I don’t need him
He don’t need me
And we find each other beneath
Raw sheets
Please answer me
I say
Why would it be that way
He say
But he never calls
The next day

Press on

Even when you are walking through

A field of razor blades barefoot

You just

Press on, baby

Press the **** on

I keep your shirt on the back of the couch
It smells like your house
You’d think I’d have kissed you before
I don’t even know what you taste like
But I wish I did

I loved you
It took the air out of my lungs
When she looked at you
Looked at you
Like sweet ripe fruit
Juicy for the taking
I loved you
I loved you
I loved you
But it didn’t ******* matter
“I hope it works out, I’m glad you had a good time”
Can I tell you
Lies eat me open
From the inside out

Oh to be waiting around
On another boy
Another boy
Who didn’t see me right there

Wasting your breath

There are some things

That will only change

With age

How’s making it work
Going for you

Up late
And I ache for you
I think of you
I think of you

I could have
Been
Good enough

I will always
Love you
Enough

Lie in your bed
Alone but
Never alone
Lie in it

You know how it feels without me
How can you live with this
Don’t you miss my voice
Don’t you miss my laugh
I miss you
I get so lost in you
Please
Please
Don’t tell me I’ll
Never
Feel like you made me feel
Again

I stared at my phone today,
Thinking I might call you,
But I never did
I’m too scared

I can safely say
If you picked up the phone
And you called me
Today
Tomorrow
Whenever
I would be so ******* weak

I
Have
A hundred pictures of the sun
And the paint it spreads
Across the sky

And you
You don’t even look up
You don’t even notice

Oh
You
Hate me

I can feel you
Thinking about me
I assume
This is the only place
You still see
Maybe not
Maybe I’m crazy

Call me

Here I am
Missing you hard enough
I wonder if I keep missing you hard enough
you might
Materialize right here
If I close my eyes
I could solidify you
Make you real
In my head you are driving to me
Or maybe someone drives you to me
But it’s not really
And tomorrow comes

I just wanted to know
Why

I wake up now and I forget
But sometimes, in the early hours
I wake up and I can’t understand how you are miles away laying next to her
I roll over and stare at the ceiling
The whir of the fan in the background
The popcorn of the ceiling being kissed by the dimmed lamp from the 90s that has a turn dial on it
I sigh and I think to myself
“Why do I have these miserable thoughts and he gets to be so happy”
And then I think
Maybe this is why I have these miserable thoughts
I cared far too much
And he never cared enough
It’s been a year now-
So it’s easier
The mornings and hours I spend on them now
Are few and far between

I sat here wishing I could get to know you
Already assuming you wanted to know me

Depression peeking as the sun recedes more frequently; I am trying to stand on my own, trying to make my own home.

Buy me a ******* ticket, I want to leave.

But I want to take him with me.

But I love you.

Then I remember it's all not me; my whole life is a mirage with me in between in the desert.

I hate my brain, I hate my pain, I hate the way I want to stay ******* sane.

I can’t possibly understand how it could be anyone other than you
I thought maybe we finally had our chance
Our day beneath the honeysuckle
I miss you
Trying to figure out why you’d stop
Talking to me
I want to finally share that meal
So much time has passed and
I’m almost 30 now
Please call me
Please call me

One time
I knew real love
It tasted sweet
And free

But it will
Never ever
Be

I will be dust beneath your feet
Before he and I
Meet

I’d like to say that your silence means you do not care
But the profoundness
Is what makes it a lie
I love you
Where ever you are right now
On gods green earth

I remember everything I wanted to forget
Even the dew drops that sat on leaves outside of the window
The worst day of my life
I forget everything I wanted to remember
You, you, you
Everything about you.

I have so much love in me
It surges through my fingertips
I can’t stop thinking about you
You and me

And if I don’t think too hard
I’m okay with this, I’m okay with us
I’m okay with you taking my ******* breath away every time I look at you
I put it in a box in the corner
Somewhere with the rest of the ****
That hurts me

I just don’t understand
This cruel world
Where in any universe
We aren’t together, resting our heads on each other, tracing finger tips

And baby I can firmly say,
I’m wasting my ******* time with anyone else,
Because you are it, you are it,

And if the stars were right outside
I’d take you to Vegas and say I do
Because I love you

I just can’t say it
Because if I don’t think too hard
I’m okay
I’m okay with this

Go back to the hole
You crawled out of
Thanks for letting me know
He misses me

I can honestly say I won’t ever love anyone as much as I love you

If I could dial you now I would
A speed dial situation for sure
Remembering a voice is so strange
Isn’t it
I remember your life and the way you say certain phrases
There’s no one else I’d rather be having a full hearted conversation with
Don’t make me wait until
I’m a raisin the sun

I hope it all makes it’s way to you
Some way
Some how

I have nothing left to say
You let me down
And
I have nothing else to say

Please don’t touch me

Hurt and hurt and hurt
Until you can’t breathe anymore
And then

One day
It dissipates

But sometimes
You never stop
Missing them

I’ll never know
The dance
We would have danced

Dont put your hands on me

Unless I asked you to make me

Weak to my knees

Dont put your hands on me

And we will both
Wither and fade
Time eroding away
But I,
I will miss you forever
I will love you forever

Do you ever think about me?

I still have trouble
Believing
Every moment
Every warm moment
Wrapped in ecstasy
They were all
Lies

I get solace in knowing,
even if you keep pretending my blood
isnt yours,
I am
I am.

Are you a good person who does bad things?
Or are you a bad person who does good things?

You cant tiptoe the line.
You either are or are not.
But in the same aspect,
You cant always be one thing.

**** humanity.

How do you not feel this way
Anymore
How did you just close the
Door?

Just another day
Kick back
Wait six more months
And
We will be cool again

That’s usually this goes

I’d be lying if I said I was doing anything
Other than
Trying to forget you