After thirty seven years
The grief is mostly gone
yet
today
a poem by another
sparked a thought,
I am ten years older
than my father ever was

I have reached an age
Where I should be
Responsible
Wise
Thoughtful

52

Still

I'd rather be a little irresponsible
To play and have fun
Laughing
Curious
Silly

12

So I will
So there

Eighteen
and after years at home
with mom
and dad
life truly begins
big changes
spreading wings
leaving the nest

and in the wake of these big changes
a mom and dad
stand at an open door
proud
a little sad
and
with arms around each other
watch
smiling
with tears on their cheeks
as their child
now an adult
takes flight

Those who choose to live
In the idyllic fifties
Must go all the way

I don't know if it's good or not
Numbers are all about context

Yesterday I passed 20,000 reads
in just under a year here at HelloPoetry
but is that good?
I don't know
I have no context

My most popular poem has over five hundred reads
My least, twenty seven
My first was about my daughter
The one that took me over twenty thousand was too

I guess I should just be happy
but that also requires context

After two days of negative numbers
twenty two degrees
feels like spring

In thirty seconds everything can change
For better or not.

Teacher I see you
As I saw you long ago
Teacher I see you
To me the same now as then
Teacher I see you
The spark in your eyes still shines
Teacher I see you
Knowing look and welcome smile
Teacher I see you
Kind words echo from the past
Teacher you are here
I am eleven again
You're by my side and I smile

When I think about the Forth of July,
and I am right now because
a. it is the Fourth of July and
b. I am writing a poem that purports to be about the Fourth of July,
I struggle with it's icon, the one thing or picture or symbol that hangs over the day
like the patio umbrella I should have purchased
when I had the chance
for the deck out back where the temperature in the sun is over 100 degrees.

Sure, most of my bible-thumping, self-proclaimed patriot friends would say
The Flag.
The American Flag or Amurikin Flag...
actually the flag of the United States of America, because even though we seem to think that we are the only Americans,
we're not.

Some would say Fireworks.
In fact John Adams himself even said fireworks was an apt celebration for the Fourth.
I like fireworks...
Now that my daughter is old enough to sit through them without our needing to hurriedly pack up and run screaming from the field after the first launch.

I have one symbol for The Fourth.
Potato Salad
Yes, potato salad...actually non-specific potato salad.
It doesn't have to be a fancy recipe...like
German potato salad, which my mom made a great version of by the way,
or creamy potato salad,
or the Egg Potato Salad from the store here in town.
Just Potato Salad because the humble potato salad reminds us that
together is better than individual.
Mixed and sitting together over time brings harmony,
brings out the best in the combination,
the best of each individual.
Working together in the same bowl
is better than holding ourselves apart
in different little round-walled porcelain or glass fortresses
cut off from the rest
wondering why the potatoes have a bigger bowl,
who invited the cilantro,
or what the hell the bacon is doing here in the first place.

Tiny copper Abe Lincoln
rests on damp sand
amongst minuscule pieces of driftwood
a baby scallop shell
and tiny clams
waiting for another assassin,
this one the sea
to come and take him away from us
again

A bud's life
Is short, yet wonder comes
As flower unfolds

When the warm summer breeze
blows from sea to sand
and gently caresses your face
while you stand on the dunes
it's breath overflowing
with the scent of the ocean
do you simply enjoy its caress?
or
Do you ponder the individual molecules?
The atoms?
The updrafts?
The suns rays?
The spin of the earth on its axis?
Where the wind came from?
or
Where it is going?

Or do you, like I
simply close your eyes
breathe deeply
and enjoy the moment?

It's Friday,
and I used to look forward to this day...
when I was in school...
when I was at one or two of my non-retail jobs...
while I am at my current job.

Friday used to be the start of a break,
in the routine,
in the tasks at hand left behind until Monday.
we'll talk about her later

We bought a house recently
and after 20 years of rentals,
it is now our responsibility to
keep things up...
looking ship shape...
like someone who actually cares
lives here.

So now Friday no longer's the respite from the daily grind
but the start
of weekend work.

A friend is a friend.
But after the wind has gone
a friend with power,
and an open door,
is a friend indeed

Webbed feet grasp wet granite
And after standing taller
a series of *****
send water,
like diamonds in the afternoon sun
from wing tips
And
bourne by Newtons theory
return to Winnipesaukee

That you can't see the positive before you
Or the gift you have been given
Or the change that reality has carefully draped around your shoulders
Has me in agony

No,
Sing
Rhymes
Please, ok?
Ah!

The human mind is an interesting thing
Mine is very
As it tends to wander
I mean
Explore

I have been told by an authority
My wife
That she's never seen one like it
Although how she can see a mind
I don't know

She has seen a lot in her life
Both with and before me
She was a Travel Agent
She's been to Turkey
I like turkey

I made an interesting stuffing for turkey once
It was during my time in the seafood retail business
In a fish market
It, the stuffing I mean, had shrimp, scallops and crayfish in it
My wife didn't like it much, she's of Irish heritage

She's been to Ireland too
Twice
Once in college and once with her family
Ireland is where Delorian made his cars in the 1980s
Before he was arrested for trafficking in *******

I have not been to Ireland
I have been to France, Belgium and England
I stayed in Waterloo Belgium for two weeks
In the 80's
When I was 25

Waterloo is where Napoleon was finally vanquished
Beaten by an Englishman
They have a monument, the lion, on top of a big hill there
I had to climb it twice
The first time I forgot my camera

I got a new camera recently
A Pentax
I have had several since Waterloo
The camera hasn't been anywhere interesting
Just my back yard

I use it to take pictures of birds
At our feeder
In the big maple tree
On the ground
There is even a turkey that comes in our yard

My wife's been to Turkey
She was a Travel Agent

Tiny beaked alarms mark hawk's return to the steamy marsh for the night

I had to run to the store today at lunchtime
we were out of paper plates
we had a party last night
and didn't want to have to do dishes again

While there and while moving quite quickly
although in the shape I am in, "quickly" is being very kind to myself

I came across a man
In a blue blazer
with yellow shorts and
knee-high yellow socks
in beige shoes

My first thought was
I need to get paper plates
my father-in-law is waiting for his lunch
he's eighty nine and flew over the Pacific
during WWII in a PBY Catalina
one of the most beautiful flying boats ever created
pulling pilots out of the water
who had come up short in a dogfight
or of fuel
I needed to get paper plates

This isn't Bermuda old chap
or a cricket match in Rhoorkee
the british invented great campaign chairs there
this is Connecticut but then

I realized that I knew the man
I had worked with him in a previous life
in a long dead company
that burst before the internet bubble did
He was a former British Sergeant Major
and as such took his colonial British very seriously
that attitude fascinates me
his office I recalled, looked like a colonial governor's office in India

So I said hi
and we talked for a bit
and wished each other well
and said good bye
as I needed to get paper plates
my father-in-law was waiting for his lunch

Not unlike that famed giant of ancient Greek fame
but fatter and orange and blowing hot air
is a stupid and hateful fat elf with faked hair
So the beckoning torch woman snuffs out her flame
As the elf king through policy blots out her name
one pudgy small hand throws her crown to the surf
while the other one brutishly grabs through her skirt
While forgetting from whence his own ancestors came

"Pushed from my pedestal" in anguish cries she
Then sobs , "Keep safe the tired and poor
the non-white masses yearning safe to be
the suff'ring children washed up on the shore
save them as then the whole wide world will see
My light is gone thus slams the golden door."

The anguish of loss
is compounded by the fact
That while she has gone from me,
I  live
and yet
am dead
to her

Soon we will be apart
not for good
but still apart

That I will miss you
is a given

but we will see each other again
on a weekend or two
over vacations
holidays

it'll be different from here on out
this will not be your home base
yours will be yours
new
not ours

but at least we'll have
facebook
text messages
cell phones

so even though we won't be together
we also won't really be
apart

The crunch of driveway gravel
announces the arrival
of traditional
friends
for a holiday
tradition

Often I wonder about just what it is that I am doing
with what I say
with what I write
with my family and work and health
with everything I do

I don't wonder about the all at once
but in the quiet on a summer afternoon
my wife still at work
my daughter off at camp
I wonder

It is not the wonder of how
of fireworks
of Starry Night
of a successful Aioli
of an airplane heavier than I can lift gliding silently overhead through cloudless blue

It is the wonder that bares the burden of wrong
of blindness towards others
of their fears and needs and beliefs
of reaction without thought
of articulation for it's own sake

And in the quiet
on a summer afternoon
I am
saddened
and truly sorry
for the blindness

My daughter has gone
Left yesterday
I won't see her for awhile
I miss her already
Her smile
Her wicked sense of humor
her songs

her songs

all day long her songs

about everything

walking down the stairs
making a sandwich
using a napkin
sitting on the couch
going to the store

songs
about everything

still
there is the quiet
and she'll be back in a month

yep
the quiet
oh, and Indian food
a must have
while she's away

Is this worth anything anymore?
does it hold the power it once had?
are they real
or imaginary
are they mine
or Vladimir's?

Wrist knows first as warm sauce slides past, then mouth confirms, great barbecue.

The beaten dog trembles
at the thought of being free
and would rather stay
beaten

For if it's home
which is where one expects
the happiest to be
is this bad, then terrifying is
outside?

Amber
with a head of foam
refreshing to a point
then, after too many,
not refreshing at all
only rented

Beneath the snow
the frigid wind,
the dirt,
lie little
ticking
time-bombs,
waiting for the warmth of spring
to set them off,
to explode through soil
in a carpet of luscious green…
they don't know
their reach for the sun
will be regulated
by
my lawn mower

fragile white crystals crushed by cold feet of twigs and fallen birdseed

The service dog sees
that among the children
his veteran is safe
but still, he watches

A guardian of the dune,
broken, a mere portion of it's once self
lies alone for a moment
in a rivulet left by tide's retreat
protected from wind's power
on little clumps of still damp sand
to dry in the cold sun
but soon
tide returns
and where you will lie to rest next
only the water knows

Last night's wings
have become Buddy Rich
in my stomach.

Spring peepers peep in newly warmed wetlands, bullfrogs nerver peep.

Bury not me
on the lone prairie

scatter my dust instead
to the winds above your head

please let me land and forever stay
where people laugh, create and play

A place to hold things
like dishes
or secret meetings about Iraq

both with probably break at some point anyway

The Cardinal bird is quite showy

It really stands out when it's snowy

Though the female's not red

There's a touch on her head

It's really a sight when it's blowy

There is a spider in my bathroom

She picked an awful spot
at the corner
where the shower meets the floor
and the wall

Location location location

There really is nothing
prey-wise
that goes near there
now that the ant traps are set

still, she has located herself there

built a web
and hangs
waiting for the tremor in the line
that will never come

or will it?

This morning I caught a fly
which is really quite easy
once you realize that they leap up
straight away from whatever they are perched on

just grab the air above their head

Once the fly was in my hand
I looked at the spider
she looked hungry
and since the fly was doomed anyway

I bounced it off the floor into her web

Then, watching the care
and finesse she had
preparing her meal,
I named her Julia

Christmas
is the christian holiday commemorating the birth of jesus christ in bethlehem
is a digital camera
is coming
is a digital camera
is a digital camera
is for giving
is a digital camera
is a digital camera
is a digital camera
is a time of love
is a digital camera
is a digital camera
is a digital camera
is a digital camera
is sharing
is a digital camera
is more than candle
is a digital camera
is a digital camera
is a digital camera
is broken

Clowns amuse
when they're in circus
but when not
they can scare
like when they try to govern
and we cannot laugh

Cold seeps
through windows
through the places where door meets frame
through spaces between floor boards.
No matter how high the thermostat is set
cold will get through
and wrap itself
around my feet
like an unwanted cat
made of snow and ice.

How cold the morning tile
against bare feet.
I need slippers.

Or

A picture of a duck
standing on a frozen pond.

Working on car engines and in fish cases
has enabled me to cook
for often
when the process of cooking is a balance between hands and heat

my old fingers
battered and beat up as they've been by the heat of a Pontiac V8 manifold
or five hundred pounds of shaved ice every day for seven years with no gloves

shrug and shake it off
as an old cowboy shakes the dust from his chaps
after being thrown to the dirt by a horse who doesn't realize
how many times the cowboy has been in the dirt before
and gotten up

is currently in beta
and all in the wrist

is not disclosed
and worse than the crime
is weak?
is weak
and totally chic
climbing the radio charts
is probably almost as old as the art of tattoo
is the road to ruin

Crocus sprouts unaware of the snow that is coming soon

When from your mouth
the non-truth flies
and you fill your head
with your own lies
you can bluster
you can mumble
but sooner
your wall
starts to crumble

The light of summer
now lost
my soft green carpet
turns brown and crunchy