Low down
Downtown

The plaza's alive tonight


The music's raunchy
the music's heaven
fiddles
guitars
mandolins
spinning

fingers on strings
a
flashing

My eyes are lit

You can't miss it

The bars are hopping
Neon popping
Sweat dripping
The smell of **** is drifting
The night's a jumpin'

Dancing
dancing like there's no tomorrow
Maybe tomorrow's never going to come
that's
okay with me

Come to me now
I will just hold you
I won't say a word
Except to remind you
You're not alone.

The curtain to your past has been lifted
Your storage unit cleared out

In a dream you kissed
Your corpse goodbye
And left her there in peace

In the end your parents were there
filled the van
With contractor bags
The past on the road to the dump.

"We've got it" they said
"You've done your work
Rocky times no doubt
But now you can cruise on through."

Melancholy Unburdened
The delight of lightness
Beginning anew.

drove
many routes
to find the gold.

Singing on street corners,
rhyming for dimes
and quarters,
Searching sensations
to find the map,
only left him further
from his goal.

Showered shaved
shot up hope
in a golden syringe,
filled his tank
and headed out
towards those
blue mesa hills.

He, of course, could
not find the route,
confusion
became
his only best friend.

He
spins and spins
whirling dervish
disoriented,
there was no gold in dizziness
when he spotted it
he
spun
right past it
gone in a direction unknown.

The driver drives
many routes tonight,
spots many islands of neon,
he finds silver in her arms,
copper in the dice,
brass in the door handles,
diamonds in the rough,
he finds dirt for his grave.

There was no other gold
along the way
there was only the gold
of living
and that
had already been delivered.

Well
this is goodbye
my one true love,
The flowers on the sill
are a wilting.
It was just a
matter of time
once you knew
my frailties and charms,
You would have been a leaving.

The days were hot,
Now they've turned cold,
We could ask where did
the fireworks go,
Do we need to know?
Really does it matter?

Don't waste your poetry
on the likes of me,
I'll be leaving
after the sun goes down
when you are sleeping
peacefully.

Our one true love,
This poem will
become
one more forgotten
memory.

We've come to tell you
We've fallen in love
She's going away with me
We respect you too much
To leave you hanging
You've done so much
But this is farewell
We've fallen in love.

What could I say?
"Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
You've saved my life
Goodbye
Goodbye
I'll see you again sometime
perhaps
Somewhere down the road."

We were sitting very quietly
on a moonfull Friday night
neither connected
nor disconnected.
There was definitely space between us.
We were spinning around each other
like two satellites
Eye to eye
mouth to mouth
but never touching.
Not angry
Not sad
Not happy
Not bad.

Enough was enough.

When like being shot out of a photon cannon
We took the endless ride.

I went your way
you went mine.
You went your way
I went mine.

Going our separate ways is never easy.
The distance between us
picking up speed,
sent us flinging
far far far
apart and a way.

When forces of nature take over
We can only take the ride
Like being on acid
there is no place to hide
The moment stands vivid
in present time.
You can't escape by even closing your eyes.

And though far apart
never so connected in our life path
as now.
I took a lover you took your own.
I took those pills
you nearly died.
I failed another job
you went on general relief.
You found a moment of peace
at the seaside
and
I found the space between words
the smile returned
I felt that bliss.

Together we hummed
"you gotta serve someone"
and
"every grain of sand."

The years they passed
and though a universe apart
when you spun
I spin
and
when I spun
you spin.

We didn't know where we were
until some one
found us there
we knew then we existed
right
where we were.

Until the pulls
pulled us back together
the galaxy
running down the drain
enlongated and stretched
time stopped for us there
in the blackness darkness
and we met
in one endless embrace.

When we emerged
we were sitting
there very quietly on a moonfull
Friday night.

The fever came on
me late last
night
no it wasn't Ebola
it was you tonight.
Obsession of the mind
a sickness rolled
in
had nothing to do with you again
but something from
within.

There's an aching
longing that will
make you sweat
you'll build up
an embarrassment debt
if you let that
fever take your
mind.
You'd better hold
on to what
soothes you inside
otherwise your going
for a ride
boiling inside.

Take a cold shower
get some ice
distract your mind.
I just don't think
you have the
time.
This fever is burning you up inside.

Just don't ever let her know,
she can't fix it
anyhow.
The fever will pass
the quiet will
come on back.

You did nothing
that
can't be undone.

For I am exploding,
With bliss
In a reproductive ****
Sending my offspring
On the winds
Life taking hold
everywhere I go.

Burning.

Taking a moment of silence,
For dear Gaia
For giving me this time,
For all that made life possible,

For this burning to be alive.

For not being the cousins
in the woodstoves
fireplaces,
Slaves
which just got a taste,
burned and died.

For the match lights
Short life
Shorter than a candle light.

For who and where I am,
connected to the stars
who devour and mother all of our lives
Breathing
Inhaling
Exhaling
Consuming
Evacuating
Reproducin­g

Exploding
Imploding
Struggling to survive.

For all fire,
All life
through out the universe,
For all who will become
a dead silent
Unmoving
Cold
Cold
Cold
  ember.

I pray,

Amen.

She passed out
between the Game Makers
At
The Rancheria's casino
I was playing Bonus Deuces Wild
She was playing a penny a line

Hitting five of a kind on the first play in the continuum
She acknowledged my luck
Then lay her head down between the machines
as if looking for something
She could not find

Time passed
Banging along
Credits up and credits down
I asked her if she needed help
She was comatose
Remembered it far later
Her bottom gum was pink,
Where her teeth
Should have been

We laid her down
I held her head
I forgot 17 years of CPR training
I remembered it later

Her breath would stop
Then sputter back to life
Life trying to find away

Help arrived after a while
Disorganized for a while
and ill prepared
for an establishment frequented with old people and another addict
They
worked hard at it
got the hang of it
brought her back to life several times

It didn't matter
Emily dressed in black leotards
Balancing a drink tray
told me about her a while later
She had been alone
grieving,
an anyuerism
She died.

My CPR
wouldn't have mattered

But before I left that afternoon
I told Security
I didn't mean to be crass or crude
Or
sacrilegious.

But could he please push the button
To get my ticket
I had money in that machine

He said to me
I guess we're all lucky today

I know what he means
heading out the doors
To the sun and the winds.

There is exquisite beauty
out
in the gardens of delight.

The Garden Buddha
sits
between
the
Rosemary, Dahlia and Boronia
fragrances in the breeze

Welcoming Accepting
the sun, the rain,
the star lite night sky
fierce frozen mornings
the snow when it comes,
the spiders, the slugs, the mosquitoes, the flies

Garden Buddha
quarter smile
whether or not
I sit beside him,
Unattached to all he sees
a study in the 7 Dharmas.

The Garden Buddha
being is all he knows.

While I worry
about this and that
fearful thoughts in the days and nights
all attached
to
love and loss,
fears and triumphs
births and debts,
what people think
will poems trend
whether there is food on the table
whether work will extend
whether or not I am part of the latest fashion trend.

The Garden Buddha
doesn't care or not care
about any of those things
his eyes
never waver
they always look inside out
outside in.

The Garden Buddha
stone of course
his smile
never goes away.

In the end, though,
nature will always have the last say
I can accept it
or not
Be filled with longing
suffering or accepting

life on life's terms

The Garden Buddha
will be here
long after
my last
dying day.

This world is a
walking place
surrounded by
a million faces
eyes that don't
recognize
your sighs,
hands that never
touch the shoulders
or the mind
That's the Glory of Love

Challenges everywhere
every failure and
success
spoken into darkened
hallways,
the music's playing
in another room
another house
another bed
That's the Glory of Love

When the body's in pain
the couch so hard
No position works
no encouraging words,
a purse or a nurse
they won't work
That's the Glory of Love

A tender touch
in a tender place
warmth and light
in this cold place
a moment of peace
when held so close,
a heartfelt giving
a heartfelt receiving
two hearts beating
singing
in perfect harmony
That's the Glory of Love.

I offer you this innocence,
come on in,
condemnation
judgement
vitriol
are left on the other side
of the walls of skin.

Hearts may open here
tears may tumble
walls may fall
in this moment between you and me.

We will offer
truths and tenderness
for every imagined sin.

Life's a puzzle
the pieces are in
earthquake shambles scattered
across the floor.
There are places for each puzzle piece
to put together,
we may even find bliss.

Sometimes this life is too complex
too hard to fathom
too easy to plummet,
we all need a place to
explore
unload
forgive.

This is the innocence
feel free to come on in,
your secrets are safe here,
never told by me.

It has been said
we are as sick as our secrets,
burrowing through our eyes
in dark packets of disguise.
But in this sanctuary
lies dissolve
innocence returns,
We find a chance to begin again.

Put down the masks
Put down the resentments
Put down the propped up sorrows
Our truths will set us free.

The door is open
the glowing warmth of connection
is at your disposal,
come speak to me
the accumulated hurts of where you have been,
through these true confessions
hurts pass
not forgotten
but
forgiven.

We can begin again.

The puzzle pieces lost
will be found,
compassion and forgiveness
become our friends.

Abandon all pasts
seen through a child's eyes,
in this time of now
we can become cozy
snuggle up in this warm bath embrace.
Sometimes we all need a place to hide
in all the necessary pillows and comforters.

Either in words or in silence,
we'll find that spot of transformation,
begin again,
once you enter this innocence,
from the tangle
as birds well know,
we can fly free again.

Nothing is going to protect us from the human condition
We can have fortune and fame
Be on the top of our game

We can be a rocker
in Lost Wages
We can be a woman with a small child
Trying to do welfare to work
We can dance the tango with a Friday night ****

We can be busted for another dui
We can be the head of the corporation
We can even be Paul McCartney
Michael Jordan
Kennedy may be our name
But nothing is going to protect us
from the human condition

I've gambled and won
I've gambled and lost

Millionaire wives die of cancer
Joanie's Johnnie gets SARS
Steve Jobs takes the last dive.

A truck driver falls asleep
A thirty seconds delay winds up catastrophe
So sorry!
Nothing protects us from the human condition

There are mine fields all around us,
most we don't even see

We can be in Mosul
We can be in Aleppo
We can be in Somalia
We can be in Mozambique

One ember, a conflagration
One breath of air, a hurricane
One drop of rain, water everywhere

Twisted Bill Cosby
his son
murdered while changing a tire
Your name can be Whitney Houston
mother and daughter
have died

Ronald Reagan's dementia
he didn't remember a thing

The list of the names
it never really ends
all that fame power and fortune

All of the pain loss and suffering
of me and you
Bad moods ain't seen nothing yet
There is no protection from the human condition

You can set me up another one
I'm drinking to
"how it goes "

I hide out
I come out
I'm probably like you
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
except
find slices of delight when able
There is no protection from the human condition.

She's texting me from
old L.A.
Heading north on the El Camino Real
driving fast on 101

I'm heading west
from Paradise, Nevada
No work here
It's all shut down

Driving through
Susanville
Hat Creek
Shingletown
Redding
Across the burning Trinity Alps
the river sure is beautiful
My heart is soaring,
just missed that landslide
late last night

Meeting my life in Humboldt County

She, from the South
Me, from the East
We cross that
Redwood Curtain
Right into the heart of the Emerald Triangle

Meeting my true love in Humboldt County

They say the streets
are lined with
green gold

The family "grows,"
up in the hills
where everyone is welcome
to trim scene solutions,
the emerald gardens
with trees six feet high
Glistening buds as big as your fist,
Everyone is smiling
Everyone is high
sure I may reek
of that Marijuana resin
but two hundred dollars a day
flirting all the way
all I can eat
all I can ****
sounds a lot like heaven to me.

I'll be getting that 215
growing plants
as far as the eye can see
Another millennium
with back problems, insomnia and anxiety.
My fortune is just waiting for me.

Meeting my sweet love in Humboldt County

Like an old Woody Guthrie tune
you ain't gonna find nothing
without that dough re me

There ain't no doubt
that ****, so pure
will get you so high
you'll be wishing your still alive
No matter how high you get
There will still be reality.

Gotta get out of this indoor grow
Black mold growing up the walls
The floors are buckling
The ceiling too
The electrical is sparking
Another landlord on the hook
What's a boy to do?

The methamphetamine
The ****** machine
Trying not to blow my face off
with a butane tank
making that concentrated cannabis

Cold and wet
sleeping bag soaked on the beach,
A tent in the Devil's Playground
the  homeless encampment
behind the Bayshore Mall
that's what I met
and don't leave your ****,
It'll be gone in a quick minute.

The gardens are beautiful
good chance I'll never see 'em
The man with the ball cap
The big *** truck
holding a shot gun
"Better move on, son,
No trespassing here. "

I'm just
another dread locked kid
on the Arcata Plaza
with a dog I can't take care of

Down in Eureka
on concrete Broadway
Fourth Street
Fifth Street
Old Town
Where the fights break out
The cops they have no patience
Another Drunk in Public
drunk tank
Back on those same streets
at one a.m.

Get too crazy
5150 for an overnight stay,
second floor in County Mental Health,
walls closing in,
Psychiatrist says
"We ain't got nothing for ya,
good luck out there. "

Meeting my sweet love in Humboldt County

Once here
there is no way out
Panhandlers
Hitchhikers
on every corner
No one's giving out
No one's picking up

I'm gonna need my family
to send that Moneygram
Get me on a Greyhound Bus
haven't heard a word from them yet.

Even the police say
No one's gonna accept me,
So they ain't gonna pay.

I've been
Trying to leave a message
for my sweet love,
haven't seen her for a month,
She headed up to Trinidad
with a would be spiritual monk

The Redwoods spiral to the skies
The ranchers own the green
pastured hills
The beaches are vast and empty
The ocean is wilderness wild
waiting for the tsunami
turn your back on the ocean
you may fall in
many have fallen
few survive
on the most exquisite
blue sky day
you've ever seen.

Meeting my true love in Humboldt County.

Sometimes
I feel the innocence of all of us
Filling me

Our lives
Our deaths

The moments of love
The moments of terror
indescribable
far too real

Nature has enough in store
How do we treat each other so cruel?

Within this humanity
is everything I feel
All of us really
children without protection

Maybe it's sentimental
morose
maudlin

People work so hard
Try so hard

Put out
Put on
Endure
Put up with

It's all we know how to do

Sometimes I stop
when the colors are vivid
the birds cease their call
a pause in the breeze
and I can hear the innocence
of all human beings
whispering
to
me.

Where are you going
What are you doing
Where have you been
What are you trying to do?

Are you lost
Are you found
Have you forgotten what it is
to be around?

Are you
Alone in your room

or

Together with one roommate
too many

Are you trapped alone,
Trapped together?

Do you remember who
you're supposed to be
or
Don't you have a clue?

I know,
There is no magic sentence
to make it all okay

But
In the end
we'll all have the end
And I guess
that's
okay
with me,

We'll see.

We gathered
At
The lighthouse at Piedras Blancas
Called by an unknowable
Incandescent
Calling.
Carpenters
Electricians
Bums
Drifters
Grifters
Women doctors
Professors
Rangers
Mothers of young children
Truck drivers
Salesmen
Rascals
And the occasional party crashers
And
Me
A poet and wanderer by trade.

We were called to the ocean
To see.
We didn't know why
We traveled from far and wide
To
The spot at the lighthouse at Piedras Blancas
North of Cambria Pines
South of San Simeon
On the California coast
To
The spot we were summoned
To
Witness the rapidly out of control growing
Of the white mass on the skin of the ocean
Consuming
Wasting
Inch by inch
Foot by foot
Mile by mile
Devouring the ocean
Cells out of control
Determined by one pure drive
The drive to survive
Which ultimately would cause
All to die.

The voice we had heard
Was mother ocean
Wailing to the
Sun and moon
And
Stars
For her offspring
She would never see again...

Tonight in the dark the trees
Are talking to me
The leaves chattering in the imperceptible breeze

Their telling me
But I don't understand

The starlings like a river flew from one tree to another

Their telling me
But I am in awe of their choreography

The redwoods a thousand years old

Their telling me
But speaking from under the soil

The ocean never silent

It's telling me
There is no mercy

The stars endless

Their telling me
I'm here now

This life it's a breath

It's telling me.
And that I understand.

Little synchronicites
We all know 'em
When we see 'em

She went to school with him
He dated your best friend
Your friend's
Mother dated his father

And when I was drunk
I t'***** his daughter

Little synchronicites
Like a ***** and an egg

If he hadn't spilled
that wine on the
white duvet
taking forty-five minutes
to clean it up

You wouldn't have been conceived
and that, my friend,
would have been that.

That's the little synchronicites

The apartment coming up just as your being evicted

The cancer of your friend
Was treated by the doctor
who owes you
many amends

Little synchronicites
Always right on time
Never too late
Never to early or too soon

Some call it fate
Some call it coincidence
Some call it destiny
Some call it
God's will or the Ajustment Bureau
Some say
Everything happens for a reason

All I know
is
The little synchronicites
Poppin' in Poppin' out
like a Higgs Boson
Startling the mind
And
Moving On.

He exchanged his
routines
for the
long dusty road,
he exchanged his
jeans
for a long white jacket
he called it the "white robe."
His hat said "Home"

He took off on the
road only travelers
go.

He had a pretty girl
he was was going to see,
then he knew
he would have to leave.

He stopped saying much,
mainly "thank you"
and "please".

He had exchanged
his mind set
for a new set,
his confusion for clarity
his narrative for poetry,
many said
it had led him astray.

He exchanged his
fullness for emptiness
and
began to take it all in,
the old dusty road became
the only way he knew at all.

He would stand in perfect silence
and
hear it all.
He would stand in perfect stillness
and
travel it all.

He exchanged his awake routines
for dreams.

He traveled here and there,
where ever
that dusty old road
would take him,
some places made sense,
some were flashes
of total innocence.

He had exchanged
his expectations
for creations.

He could love you on the road,
be with you
but with you
he would never go home.

Rumor has it
it was his fatal flaw.

He had exchanged
success and failure
for
experience,
he avoided many a cliff
many a fall
in having it all.

You won't find him
hitchhiking
panhandling
soliciting or pandering
selling drugs
or
in bed with your mother.

You'll find him in the whispers
you hear
in the rainbow aura
around street lamps
on night time
deserted streets,
the meteor at midnight
the green flash at sunset.

He had exchanged
staying for going
and
he was on his way
with dust devils
blowing
behind him.

Your eyes held the beauty
of sunrises in the morning skies
Your art knows the realities
of a thousand disguises

Your fingers touch inside my beating heart

You know where I go to hide
You pull me out
You put me in
I am your puppet
you pull the strings

I am lost beneath your gaze
without a word to say.

There is beauty in the warm winds blowing our way
The softness of our quilted bed

Your breast is a pillow
I lay my weary head
Your heart is a home I can stay
when I've lost my way.

Your eyes are
my sunrises
lighting the way.

I've fallen
into a torpor pit
swirling blackness
seals my lips
I close my eyes
but all I see is me,
Disengaged
Deranged
there is no reason
for this smothering gray.

I feel your hands
but they don't penetrate,
Your breath is sweet upon my face,
laughter comes from another place,
this silence remains my only respite,
My words are stifled
in my chest,
My poetry shoots blanks
where ever I tread.

Motivation is a thing
of the past,
Desire's gone at last,
Being is all that's
left within my grasp.

Lavender love in
technicolor plays
out on a screen,
Life travels on the
wisps of Monarch wings -
Breathe heavy and
hot,
Breathe light and cold,
My words they freeze
when they hit the snow.

I know dances unfold,
But no dance partner knows
the darkness that's become my
trembling soul.

It is to this enclave
I go
from time to time,
the winds outside
still howl my name,
While demons
bang on the walls
of my shame.

Call it a mood,
Call it a funk,
Call it the blues,

Sometimes
these holes just open,
Inside I go,
No ladder
only a shovel
wouldn't you know.

Doors without keys,
Echoes without sounds,
And all there is
is
the
darkness
I
have constructed
all around.

We are so much younger
"we know better than that"
is
what we say

I'm in love with another
you are too

I remember you
we had met in school
You remember me
it is serendipity

We say
" we shouldn't head down that path"

When we enter the river
it is calm and flat
We tell each other
with a glance

"we can't".

One foot follows another
and
into that dangerous river
we
take a chance.

We know the river heads
to
a waterfall
and
in the end
we are bound to take us all.

We don't have a choice.

The water is calm
your lips are soft,
floating
gently down that stream
singing
"life is but a dream. "

At any time we should get out.

You won't let me
and
I won't let you.

We've made our choice.

The warm waters
of
our bodies close
puts
us
half asleep
into
a waking dream

we are hearing things.

As
the pace begins to run
I reach for you
the current is picking up speed
lost in the river moment
we were sure we would be
all that we ever need.

The whiteness of the water
is
screaming at me
the currents of our desires
is picking up speed

Red flags are on the shore
Caution Signs
are glowing
in the sun

The rocky cold waters
are
carrying us all the way through

you grab on to me
I grab on to you
there is calmness
before
we are hurling out
of control
once more

to the precipice corner
of
the water's edge

Our eyes lock
you are looking into mine
desire's fears
blind
like the sun in your eyes.

You are letting go of my hand
rolling
to
the side
I'm not sure if you smile

Your feet are falling fast
holding *******
to
the dirt path.

I look down
into
the tumbling waters
straight to the bottom
to
the rocky reflecting dark pools
of
endless
desire, longings and lies

there is no going back.

The
currents unleashed rolling
are
too fast
too strong
for
that.

Closing my eyes
holding my breath
I take
the
dive
as
a matter of fact

I
went
straight back
to
the moment it all begins
when
I flew head long into you
now
I wonder
how often will
I
play this endless loop
through

just like that.

The driver
she wears mascara
the
last remnant of her humaness
she's always been a
little blessed
she's met her death
many times.

You can hear
her coming on
the winds
freight train sounds
through the Jeffrey Pines
this train isn't
Bound for Glory
this train's bound
for eternity
a one way
ticket with
no return.

Though I've always
rooted for reincarnation.

This train
stops for gamblers
midnight ramblers
**** addled ******
addicts caught between
nodding out and cleaning
the refrigerator with a tooth brush.
Even saints on board will stay.

The oblivion express
your going to hop
on board when your
ticket is punched,
the ticket taker
laughs and smiles
his last glimpse
of humaness.

She's the driver
he's the turnstile
they were once
an item
before they were delivered
to their
new careers
never to see each
other again
except through the
glass of her engine.

The fire is stoked
the express becomes
a local
stopping for each
and every
daily passenger
you can hear that
whistle blow.

You don't know where you're
headed
you just know
you gotta go.
Her mascara drips down
her face
you and she
the ticket taker
too
there is no escape
the oblivion express
just around the corner
and
on its way.

Walking along the river road
Was my friend and I
Along side in clear reflection
The Mad River gently floated by
While my friend and I
Spoke about loves
which had come and gone by.

When to my horror I did see
A child
a floating by
I dropped my back pack
And in to the river I did fly
Reaching down to grab that child
To safety, on this day, he would not drown as long as I'm around
I pulled him up and gently
I laid him on the ground.

Before we had a moment
Before a word could we say,
I saw another child
a bobbing, rushing, down fast this way
I jumped back into those frozen waters
I held her to my breast,
A sputtering
A muttering
I laid her on the grass,
There was no time to take a breath
Before another child down the river
floated my way.

I repeated my actions over and over
Went down to that river each time
Until as many children as I could gather
And lay them along side the river's
shallow shore.

Exhausted, now I stood
My friend sat on the green green grass
a crying to that noon time sun
We looked at each other in desperation's
silent hum.

One more
Two more
Three more
Four

A floating and a struggling they did come.

I didn't know what else to do

But I started running up the road
I knew the headwaters were
Up the road
Just a mile or so
or
so I thought.

In the distance I heard my friend
Calling my name in despair
Thinking that alone, I had left him there
To fight this futile battle.

To the headwaters I needed to go
To find out and stop this parade
Stop who was ever
Throwing these poor children
To the hell of the Mad River's
Watery grave.

The headwaters are just around this last bend
My friend's voice still echoes
The children's cries are sounds
Sounds I will always hear.

When I get there
I will tell you what it is
I found
I found awaiting there
Throwing all of these children down
for in this life to drown.

From the snow caps a melting,
The desert's valley floor
Through the farms
Past the city streets
To the ocean's mouth, it's final release
The Mad River flows
Taking our children as it goes.

The children have lived
lives
I never knew

One went to war
One went to deprivation
Both knew true suffering

I stand beyond
time and distance's separation
offering meager alms

Some of us are salmon
struggling up stream
Others are hawks
flying free in the jet stream

I don't know about you
but transitions
have never come easily
for me

Intervention or natural consequences
The rolling dice play out

In the end
the outcomes will come
long after I'm done and gone.

What to do with
all of these requests
Some are blue
Some are red
Some are black
Some are white
Most are
black & white.
What's a person to do
When they are all
Coming at you?
Split yourself in two?

Take care of him
Take care of her
Run this way and that
Sleep at night
Wake at dawn
All the rest is
Take care of this and that.

We try so hard to be so good
What did you say
1/2 stomach
1/2 guilt
But bruised and battered
Is what you get

Your power shattered
And
Pushed out to others
Watching every word
Shaking and quivering
With every response
Did I at least get it right
This time?

When whispering low
So
No one can hear you
The people pleasers lament...

Like a plane in the
fog
looking for a place to
land
Like a man in a
homeless shelter listening for the rapture
A pelican on a pier
eyeing his next meal
the last apple on a
tree all ready
to fall

Remember I started with blue
skies in front of me
I studied my flight plan well
I knew I'd be landing

I knew for sure
it wasn't going to be hell
I always tried to do so well,
focusing in on innocence
when ever I was able to

But there are failures of compass
The phantom captain takes
a nap

The instruments may keep on
saying you're right on track
But
the only trust I have is
in the Northern Star
and in Mars high
in the sky.

It seems impossible
to be so lost

Like a plane in the
fog
looking for somewhere
to land.

Like a woman working tables
until two a.m.
Her fitness app keeps saying
a hundred years this shift

The fuel is evaporating
The miles to go before zero
keeps hopping

Like a whale without a culture
no one to talk to
The sky is a 300 mile high
air ocean
I thought I was free
to get from here to there

Like a window with a view
of a brick wall

Phoenix in the summer
A tsunami on dry land
A river without a name
A cougar and no game

Like a lover whose left
and no way to find their name

So many aspects of this life
Departures and arrivals
a one way ticket

There is a great darkness
out in the distance
I know it's getting closer
but
I keep on drifting

Like a plane in the fog
looking for a place to land.

he won't shut up
when he's around
he wants to write everything
keeps on formulating phrases
hallucinating
couches into flying carpets
swearing that he's seen
the ground from the sky

The Poet
we never know what he's doing -
turning black sheep
into heaven
he's stuck on the inside
looking out

The Poet
he won't shut up
but when I really need him
he's no where to be found

when he wants what
he wants
in these poems of his
I know I'll wind up
embarrassed humiliated and forlorn

The Poet
when he's around
he won't shut up
he keeps going on and on

And when he's gone
Silence.

I taste death
in every food I eat
I see beauty
in every face I meet

It all once lived
before it died
One day maybe
nothing will need to die
for mankind to survive

I see beauty
in the face of every  person I meet

The public world
of shopping malls
Supermarkets
Working's pall

Inside while primitive
fantasies
still reside
Rageful tides
Spiderwebs blowing down hillsides

Carrying  on a private conversation
in a public gathering
"a little privy please"
There are no walls
in the outhouse
The outhouse is lined
with mirrors and windows

The rules are the rules
even for desire
tho sometimes we all do
a mashpit at the opera

Everything has a taste
Internal
External
make a mistake
it's back to the wild
Food for fodder
fodder for thought

Still seeing beauty
in every face I meet
Tasting death
in every food I eat

Makes water in
the desert
so so sweet.

The tree dies
but keeps on growing,
The soul dries up
but keeps on crying,
Lovers leave
but we keep on loving.

Our children keep growing,
But we keep on trying.

The mysterious darkness
keeps on descending,
Light will guide our way,
We are gone
but in memories
we live on.

The earth keeps
on spinning
but
we stand so still.

The ash remains
but we keep on
burning.

Everything is lost
but we keep on
finding.

In the place
between dreams
and awakening
everything is remembered
but we keep on forgetting.

The poem is done
but we keep on going,
The poetry is gone
but we keep on writing.

The creative spirit
sleeping in the back
of the room
tossing and turning
dreaming
eyes spinning in sleep
level four
R E M
but not saying a word
leaves you wondering
what's the point in
everything

Creative spirit
taking a hiatus

No where to be found
maybe in Hawaii
looked under the couch
even checked the kitty litter

Creative spirit, taken a powder

Now I'm feeling
so lost
so all alone
what am I supposed to do

Creative spirit
give me a sign
smoke signals
telegraph
telephone
email
text
Not even messaging

When does the somnambulisim
ever wear off
I told him he
had taken one too
many

The creative spirit, though,
still smoldering
where there's
smoke there's fire
where there is fire
there is passion's
heat

I'm remembering what
Chuck Berry taught me
"If the joint is rocking
Don't bother knocking
Come right on in"

Creative spirit you
can't cancel
no excuses will
be taken
We have a date
mañana
at a quarter to ten.

My brother and sister
We were there,
childhood
it all comes and goes
Could you please
give us
a little more time?

Hitting home runs
Peaking way to soon
How dare you?
Could you please
give me a little
more time?

Strung out on
Chemistry and hormones
Rock and roll
never sounded so
good

One more level
One more time
Could you please?
if I ask you nicely
I'll be your best friend
Just give us a little
more time

Dragging a mattress
out into the pine forest
We were so perfect
Bliss and oblivion
At least until
the campers came along
Could you please?
I guess
I'm begging you
if you could
give us a little
more time

While my baby is an infant,
a woman now
I'm asking you
to
give us a little more time

There is magic
in the music
in the air,
You're something
We're dancing
Never coming this way again
That's why I'm asking
could you please
give us a little more time?

The work is good
The days are long
Summer
No pain anywhere
Keep it coming
I'm always begging
Could you please give me a little more time?

I know we'll be repeating
when sleeping in the linens,
Every one is there
Love everywhere,
I'll be pleading
Can you give us
please?
a little more time
and maybe
one more rhyme.

Mommy mommy
take me home
I've wandered these streets
alone
for far too long
what's a grown man to do
not knowing exactly
what he's supposed to do.
Bourn too many moments
of other's sorrows
at the expense of my own.

Mommy mommy
take me home
I saw you in my
dreams last night
a corpse in a car
you honked
as you drove on by
my thumb was out
trying to hitch a ride
to where I can not say
you put your finger to your lips
"Shush, baby"
was all you had to say.

The lights of the city burn
each one someone's home
each apartment
like souls
world's of their own
I've knocked on many doors
and some have let me in
though a place to rest
no home, no peace, no silence
for me.

I've been a restless poet
a wanderer too
forever traveling through
those internal landscapes
a paid guide
through all those painful memories
and those standing on the edge of suicide
some move along
some fall behind
I offer that pool of peace
reflections
is all I've had to give.

Mommy mommy
take me home
you are running far too late
I've been alone out here far too long.

Standing on this corner waiting
my eyes are tired
in burn outs fading light
the
streets shine neons invitations
but none welcome me.

Mommy mommy
what did you mean
when you put me out here
to be
and when will you pick me up
or
will I remain forever lost
out on this corner
thinking each car coming is you.

I'm still wandering these streets
paying the cost
looking for home
looking for you.

Mommy mommy
time to take me home
time to take me back to you.

He carries a black widow spider
in his pocket
it keeps him alert,
he's tattooed from here to there
he always liked the pain,  
an endorphin ******.
He wears a Mohawk too
His belt is a live rattlesnake
he doesn't like to be bothered

He's a dangerous man in a dangerous world

He met Ray
a princess from Bakersfield
She had a smile that
opened the heart
He looked at her
He looked at his life
He had looked at one death too many

He paused
Much to his surprise
He chose life
His heart it creaked on open

She saw something in him
I'm going to have to ask her
what it was.
She turned on her healing light
offered acceptance,
When violence calls
She taps his shoulder
and no one  knows why
but he feels the warmth of the sun
rotating in his chest
he walks away,
it's okay.

Will they make it into the everlasting sunset?
Your guess is as good as mine
But for now
their love is what
legends are made of.

It's
one more cast
one more line
one more level
one more time

I promise

One more time

No more parking lot walks
No more broke night talks
No more looking into mirrors
saying
"What the ****?"

No more
after burners
the price to pay
sixteen  eighteen
hours
years
later
every day


Still saying

One more time

I promise

One more  time

I've always been somewhat Autistic,
ADHD
too
More than a little manic
and
OCD
I've had the fever
Occupying me

I've heard the murderous rage
And it was me

I have had my periods of Schizophrenia
Paranoia
Psychic warfare
in the ether

He's looking at me
I keep looking at him
Wondering why he's looking at me

I've got that DID
Going into trances
The poet he writes these tomes,
Waking up in strange places

That PTSD
Get startled very easily

Anxiety and depression
Are you kidding?
What's a day without 'em?

The vice is nice
Abundance to depletion,
The parking lot walk  
Polysubstance abuse
has had it's use

Fetishes phillias
Electric brain all light up
Run amok

Decades of misery
Decades of mastery
Had them all

A walking DSM
That would be me
Everything which is human inside you is inside me

Hanging out with
the human condition
my old friend and me

Trying one more time
to figure it all out,
one more time.

The child of the golden light
sitting in the sunshine room
in the dark factories of
madness' tombs,
Your gentle sweet breath
creates a breeze flickering,
as one candle
lights another
in lilac scented jasmine,
Our shadows are cast on the walls.

While in your lap sits a
Clay bowl
with Icarius images etched,
whispering for you to behold,
The cup holds countless opportunities
for inspiration,
Little Tinkerbelles
you hand out freely to those
who lighten up the darkness,
for those lost in the cold
for those lost without a home
for those who swelter in the heat
of their own madness
for far too long,
for those who come alone
who are there to help as best they can.

This rare clay bowl of Tinkerbelles
Who bring magic to the cold nights of our world
the Queen of Hearts
Handed out souls to those
whose souls had been lost
with this light of hope
inspired those who
give at all costs.

The Queen of Hearts
has left the room
down the highway to a distant land
All her bowls of inspiration, courage,
compassion and hope
neatly packed
I watch your U-Haul
sail down 101
I walk back to my dark end
and notice at
my feet
one last clay bowl
of splendor
left behind,
As I pick it up
I know it's a role
I can never live up to or play
in your way.

But one spinning light
a remnant left behind
remained
encouraging me to
try with another
and one more time
perhaps I can pass this gauntlet
on
to another.

Her sweet work
will never be done,
whether here or there
but perhaps if done correctly
with a true heart,
the darkness will be vanished,
everywhere.

Farewell, farewell.
Your sweet breath remains
lights the candles
one by one
Tinkerbelles of magical inspiration
handed out freely
to each and every one
Your enlightened legacy.

For this moment
And in this time
and space
Your bowl
Your inspirations
are
Alive with grace.