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Sjr1000 5d
Dissolving all our thoughts  
Becoming one with the night's darkness.
Jun 19 · 207
Being Present 10/W
Sjr1000 Jun 19
When cooking the mind concentrates,
Washing dishes the mind wanders.
Jun 13 · 279
Steve's Last Dream
Sjr1000 Jun 13
Death was sticking a gun
in the back of my neck
It hurt like hell
I started to beg.

I realized than
If death pulled the trigger
There would be nothing,
The deepest dark
Just like before we were born.

I became totally calm, peaceful
and
content.

Surrender

All that remained
Was a whisper
And the endless silence.
The end of fear.

The dream it knew.

My days were never to be the same.
Jun 1 · 51
Insomnia (When Awake)
Sjr1000 Jun 1
The stink of stress sweat & cigarettes
A small bird in the jaws of a cat
The last snow when the sun comes out
At the market covid dust everywhere
Dangerous.
I used to have grandiosity,
Now what I have is humility.

A shower is due in the afternoon
Too many nights, sleep deprived
Agitated
Rooster crowing at two a.m.
Still trying to finish this one last ride
While a voice calls out,
Give it up
Time to get inside,
It's time.

Another day comes and another day gone
Change the sweaty t shirt and head inside.
Apr 22 · 180
Our Days of the Plague
Sjr1000 Apr 22
It's snowing covid
We've all had to take shelter from the storm.

We're wearing gloves & masks
As if it were freezing cold
We can see everyone's breath
Friends lovers strangers
Our own
carrying death.

Dangerous to go to the store
Apocalyptic vibes

We're like magnets staying polar opposites
pinballing around the room
To avoid each other

Total intimacy
Total isolation
Perfect relationships for the 21st Century
Everything's slowed down
Tahoe blue skies
Carbon ****** away
Coyotes running through the streets
The whole planet on furlough
Creative projects
Free at last
The agoraphobics *******
Rich in time
Poor in money
We're reminded once again
Nature bats last.

Ever since it started snowing covid.

Where we're going from here,
We don't know
Wishful thinking
Careful planning
It's all in the cellular snow
And it just keeps on snowing
its been said before
The one thing we do know
There's a bad moon on the rise
But
The seasons come and go
Wars they come and go
And the snow eventually blows away with the winds.
(Or at least when the vaccine blows in).

"Bad moon on the rise"
"Bad Moon Rising" John Fogerty, 1969
Sjr1000 Mar 20
We've come to tell you
We've fallen in love
She's going away with me
We respect you too much
To leave you hanging
You've done so much
But this is farewell
We've fallen in love.

What could I say?
"Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
You've saved my life
Goodbye
Goodbye
I'll see you again sometime
perhaps
Somewhere down the road."
Jan 27 · 165
Panic Attack
Sjr1000 Jan 27
Like a fish out of water
I'm gasping for breath
My heart is a shaking
Like there's a 300 pound ***** dancing on my chest
My hands are a dripping rivers of sweat
My legs are all whobbley
Like walking on drift wood
My stomach is a churning & turning
Like Mr. Toad's wild ride
My thoughts are of failure
And death.

I'd better pull on over
This car isn't driving itself
My hand lets go of the steering wheel my hand's on the door ****
My head is still pounding
rivets of red
I'm heading back to bed
I guess I'm not going out today
again.
Jan 12 · 347
Why Oh Why
Sjr1000 Jan 12
Why oh why does the song sing
Why oh why does the sun rise
Why oh why am I?

Why oh why am I alive
Why oh why does my ear ache
Why oh why do I feel so sad
Why oh why?

Why oh why Mommy
Why oh why Daddy
Why oh why my brother
Why oh why my sister
Could you love me so well
And hurt me so bad
Why oh why?

Why oh why is the sky so blue
Why oh why do I love you
Why oh why do you love me too?

Why oh why am I getting too old
Why oh why am I still so young
Why oh why is there time?

Why oh why is there slaughter
On an microscopic planet in the milky way among billions of galaxies
Why oh why?

Why oh why is the darkness
The perfect screen for the imagination?

Why oh why does the poet know
And I don't know nothing at all.

Why oh why, you probably have your own
The timer is ticking down
Why oh why, time to go.
Dec 2019 · 344
Depression 101.
Sjr1000 Dec 2019
The stars are out
The storm has moved on
It was just like the darkest hour
When it all feels so out of control
But now the storm is over
And
Time to relax.

Until the next low
Blows on through.
Sjr1000 Dec 2019
You say
There are no answers
You bray
Time you catch when you may
You'll end up on your knees
There is nothing else to do
But pray.

I don't want to get home
Too late
There are many obstacles in the way
Romances and dances
Which lead us astray.

Hungry states of mind
Interrupting
Stillness
Calmness
Peace.
Nov 2019 · 398
The Gambler's Luck
Sjr1000 Nov 2019
She passed out
between the Game Makers
At
The Rancheria's casino
I was playing Bonus Deuces Wild
She was playing a penny a line

Hitting five of a kind on the first play in the continuum
She acknowledged my luck
Then lay her head down between the machines
as if looking for something
She could not find

Time passed
Banging along
Credits up and credits down
I asked her if she needed help
She was comatose
Remembered it far later
Her bottom gum was pink,
Where her teeth
Should have been

We laid her down
I held her head
I forgot 17 years of CPR training
I remembered it later

Her breath would stop
Then sputter back to life
Life trying to find away

Help arrived after a while
Disorganized for a while
and ill prepared
for an establishment frequented with old people and another addict
They
worked hard at it
got the hang of it
brought her back to life several times

It didn't matter
Emily dressed in black leotards
Balancing a drink tray
told me about her a while later
She had been alone
grieving,
an anyuerism
She died.

My CPR
wouldn't have mattered

But before I left that afternoon
I told Security
I didn't mean to be crass or crude
Or
sacrilegious.

But could he please push the button
To get my ticket
I had money in that machine

He said to me
I guess we're all lucky today

I know what he means
heading out the doors
To the sun and the winds.
Sjr1000 Oct 2019
How is it being you?

Everything ok?

Up or down
In or out

Feeling forlorn
Intimate with sorrow
Or
Dancing on rainbows
With love in your eyes

Struggling with aging
Or
Far too young

At the intersection
Of
Sanity & Madness


On a streak
In a slump
Is your next move
The right one
Or
The wrong one

Sometimes we just gotta have the space
To
Think these things through.

How is it to be you these days?

Frustrations
Dilemmas
Chronic pain
Or
Smooth sailing all the way

If you check on in
What would you say
How is it to be you these days?
"The corner
of sanity and madness"
Todd Snider, Peace Queer, 2008
Sep 2019 · 384
Songs make you sing
Sjr1000 Sep 2019
They give you the wings
To fly,
Music makes you smile
Allows you to glide
Allows you to cry

The old man with the dementia
sings along with every lyric
He remembers from the prom

Music takes the mood
turns it into something new
Blows the emotional weather
everywhere

Music gives you Grace
Takes you into it's embrace
Songs say what you mean
reveal what you see
reveal what you've seen

Every break up
Every getting together

God comes and goes
in gospel tones

Every one knows
About war and peace

The rhythm of the heart
is the music before sleep
The sound track of our lives .
Sep 2019 · 135
Life in a Moment
Sjr1000 Sep 2019
My life is an onion peeled by time
An artichoke one leaf at a time
The heart of the matter lays within
Where the tears, the love and acceptance reside.
Aug 2019 · 199
Another Dusty Baker Year
Sjr1000 Aug 2019
Have you ever had a Dusty Baker year?
We're talking baseball for a moment here.

Went from .320
To .230
Forty homeruns to three

Every decision made was the wrong one
Every one you should of made
You never did.

Reoccurring themes pop up
Like fireworks on a low cloud night sky
Your dancing on fire
Burning up inside

It was all so right for a while

Now out of the groove
Out of the zone
It all feels so wrong
A Dusty Baker year if I ever saw one

They all kind of end in the end
But every time
You leave that man on third
When you coulda sworn that curve ball
Was going to be outside

It makes you wonder
If it's going to begin again
Now.
Not quite that bad for Dusty, .290 to .260 (1977) poetry not history
Aug 2019 · 211
12 Step
Sjr1000 Aug 2019
"Hello
My name is Robin
I'm an alcoholic
I'm a drug addict too
'May cause drowsiness '
I'm coming for you

I used to be sexually addicted
****** from the Motel 6
On Hollywood boulevard

Long nights
One more web site to go

I'm a compulsive gambler
'The game ain't over
until
The cigarette money is gone'

QVC & Christianity
They had my number
The fourth bankruptcy was denied
My parents, they had died
Where does salvation come from
anyway?

Ran a rehab
Functional as a goliath
Never had any excess funds
Ran the fine line between
playing it straight in supermarkets and certifibile madness
The oldest living road show in America

I'm ready to turn my life over
I surrender
I thought I knew it all
My best thinking got me here
I don't know much about anything
I'm ready to learn about everything."
Jul 2019 · 645
Love Song
Sjr1000 Jul 2019
People come
      and
People go

People stay awhile
        and
People leave

Until that last exit sign
I'll be staying here with you.
Jun 2019 · 322
The Gambler
Sjr1000 Jun 2019
The hound dog sings the blues again
Jumping into the probability  continuum
Finding bliss or frustrated suffering
Gotta keep moving
Cutting our losses
Honoring commitment

Of winners and losers
Letting the cards fall where they may
Finding peace where we can
While the hound dog sings the blues again.
May 2019 · 263
Hanging out with the poet
Sjr1000 May 2019
Smoking
Pacing
Thinking

Talking to the poet
You never know
He can be cruel sometimes
Funny other times
Crude
Convoluted
Compassionate
Delusional
Banal

Repeating his cliches
Over and over
Controlling like a blackberry bramble
"Time to write this down"
"Put it up"
He says like some kind of
*******

We walk
We pace
I smoke

We sit in the sun
He's a stoner & a drunkard
Sometimes it's the ocean
Sometimes it's a lake
Sometimes it's the backyard
Alders trembling

We stare off into space
And wonder
what's next
He disappears forever
He reappears down the road

Best friend
Worst roommate
Couldn't live without him
He writes these poems in a composition book
Progress notes
States of mind
Whatever it is he's trying to find

We talk
We pace
I smoke

Tomorrow
We'll do it all over again
Like it was the first time.
Apr 2019 · 156
Migration Home
Sjr1000 Apr 2019
I lost the feeling of gravity
It doesn't mean a thing
The roots dangle
mid air
levitating

No tether
No anchor
No top
No bottom
In space no one to hear you
If you scream.

Floating mid air
An airplane
All those lives
All those problems
They seem so small

Flapping so hard to
stay above it all

Flying these miles inside
Being mistaken for a guide
Pointing out
This or that
Through landscapes alien
But still Mother Earth

Familiar but many
endless
unfamiliar
Currents
riding the winds
Like hallways poorly light
No red exit sign
Each stop a different apartment
Inside

A history all our own
From the pictures on the walls
To the memories in the drawers

Everyone so unique
Everyone so much the same

It's enough to make a
person try to
do a graceful landing when
coming back down to earth.
Apr 2019 · 332
Deja Vu
Sjr1000 Apr 2019
She lives this life
As if she had lived it before
Nothing surprises her
Nothing throws her off her stride.

Sure
she has places she goes to hide
In her mind
Dark.
The craving she keeps in the basement
Darker still.

She knows already
Our shadows are everywhere
Hiding in the walls.

She knows everything.

She walks in the redwoods
The canopy above
The ferns below
Green in the light
Dogs running all around
Putting out her arms
Palms up
And wondering
"Why?"
While her heart aches
For all the innocence
Inside.

Compassion
Encouragement
Enlightenment
The story's not written until the day we die.

The illusion of immortality
Makes us waste so much time

She already knew the end
She had walked this way before.
Mar 2019 · 436
Daily Choreography
Sjr1000 Mar 2019
I wonder what I'm doing
I wonder who I'm being
I wonder where I'm going

I've asked these questions so many times
The answer is never forthcoming

Wake up every morning
****, shower and shave
Put on the mask and join the parade
Numbness if you can find it
Has its rewards.

It's a difficult complex dance
Particularly when your mind and body
Don't understand choreography
Though dancing as fast as you can

The moves you ought be able to master, but never do

We're all doing
the daily stumbling Can-can.
The Can-can originated in the 1840's, a high energy chorus line, kicking its way on stage.
Feb 2019 · 697
A Dog's Life
Sjr1000 Feb 2019
Goodnight Moe
It was good to know you,
found you in the rickety Virginia City
wooden shelter
alone, staring sadly out at the world
so small,
I guess you could call it a rescue.

Once the puppy stacking wild mustang poops on the front deck
Running wild with the coyotes
You always were a scrapper
When eye contact made,
Your half hour battle with Bingo on a frozen Nevada night
Slipping  on the snow and ice.

The night you walked by my side
When the blizzard came
Keeping me from falling down that hill
when I was sliding, how'd you know?
Goodbye Moe
It was good to know you.

Waking us up with the first light of dawn
Sticking your nose
Into my tears
Licking away my sorrows
Curled at our feet on a cold winter night
Chasing  the cougar
Up the Tamarack tree
When the wild purple onions were blooming
You always had that faster second speed.
Now your legs can hardly hold you
And when the puppy came
You were big daddy
Patient and teaching a young one how to be
As you taught me
Goodbye Moe it was good to know you.

Well, now that puppy is probably
Going to outlive me, outlive you,
And now that the volume of your hearing has been turned down
The thunder and July 4th no longer send you panting
You were always to big to be a lap dog.
Now silence is all you know

Far away from those Virginia City
Mountain days
Everything changes
Everything passes
Time spins around
Our days and our nights.

Now hobbling along Dry Lagoon
Where the big waves curl
You stand bewildered and confused
But when you see me you know which direction to go.

The night is coming
We know that
Better head on home

Goodnight Moe it was good to know you.
Seymour "Moe" Butts, a red tip Australian Shepherd, 16 years old, is still with us, but his days are counting down
Feb 2019 · 330
For my dear Stuart
Sjr1000 Feb 2019
My life long friend
Friendship which goes the distance
We stand on the edge of the great abyss
This last little bit we have to take alone.

A life long friendship nourished and encouraged
Learning from you how to love
each and every one
Learning what it means to be
I and thou

Heading downstairs for one more round

Looking in the mirror
Integrity or despair?

It's all been there

But this life is like jumping
Into Tahoe on a warm summer day,
And hitting mountain thawing snow
You could do it
I never could
The naked fisherman in the Golden trout wilderness

The Buddha on the road

We stayed so young
While we got so old
Couldn't have done that
Without you

The ocean is still out there with your footprints in the morning sand
Your molecules in the laps you swam
The poetry of motion

The healing brought

All of this and nothing more
Every day our friendship,
a blessing
In everyway.
Feb 2019 · 243
The Question
Sjr1000 Feb 2019
How did I end up here?
I asked the darkness
There was no response

How did I end up here
I asked the sun
Fell asleep in its heat
There was no response

Running down to the river
I fell to my knees
The river talked non stop
But I couldn't understand a word

I ran to the ocean
to find the heart portal
at the last log
Though I looked
I could not find it anywhere

Drove the long desert valley to the petroglyphs
Ten thousand years old
Written in a language
I would never understand

The full moon rises eclipses and moves on
I open my mind
How did I end up here I ask
In the dark silence of the rising sun
desert red
By the river running to the ocean
There is no response
Again.
Jan 2019 · 835
Chasing The High
Sjr1000 Jan 2019
Don't look at her
She knows you
Sitting in the back of the casino
Where only the **** addicts hide
Like some AOD group
The facilitators crack wise
While the ****** addict with the
Coffee cup in her hand closes her eyes
Never spilling a drop.
Everyone is always "tired".

Vice has an anthem singing until dawn
The private places people go
One more round of chips and dip
Naked bodies on the phone
Chug chug chug
Fasting until spaghetti size
Hoarders howling as the garbage man rolls down the block

Human minds oh so twisted
Try to straighten it all out
The promise of abundance
Pockets full
Ending up in the suicidal parking lot walk when it all becomes too real

Vice is nice, asks you to come right on in, never says no as long as you have the dough re me.

Don't look now
It's looking at you
Knows you far too well.
Jan 2019 · 770
My Imaginary Friend
Sjr1000 Jan 2019
My imaginary friend
Thought I was his imaginary friend,
I wasn't sure how real I am
So for a while I got lost
a ghost.

We shared stories of kicking life's rocks
And life's rocks being thrown at us.

If I am his imaginary friend
My life must be imaginary
Imagined by him.
Jan 2019 · 2.0k
Compassion
Sjr1000 Jan 2019
When you are swept over by sorrow
And your night is forlorn
When your hours are reigning pain
My compassion will be there.

When everything is taken
And your attachments are all broken
And you've squandered your daily bank of seconds
My compassion will be there.

When rage and retaliation strike home
Alienation, isolation sings loud
When the thoughts are like a spinning whirling twisted train with the most perverse of engineers
And the tracks lead to endless night
My compassion will be there.

When love has slipped through your fingers again
And you're in the deepest hole you've ever known with only a shovel
And your fingers can't grip
And it can't be fixed without a ladder
And there is no ladder anywhere
My compassion will be there.

Whether you're too young or too old
Whether your world is
Expanding  or contracting
My compassion will be there.

Countless life stories
Many echoing rooms
The human condition played out
In infinite permutations
When I have nothing else to say
And nothing else to give
As best I can
My compassion will be there.
Jan 2019 · 336
Evolution Laughs Last
Sjr1000 Jan 2019
I was the last physical human on planet Earth.
I really don't know how it worked out that way,
The luck of the draw, I guess
But it has.

Now
My legs ache,
My head throbs,
My back hurts,
Fragile
I'm so lonely and disturbed.

Instead of having physical children,
Bodies, life death, age, being what they are so challenging,
People started creating,
"characters"
A different kind of children, you could virtually grow, more than a sim,
a "life"
As it were
As we know.

Taking on a life of their own,
A new generation way beyond me,
Leaving behind all physical vulnerability.

They could have 3d'd a body
Easy to do
But what was the point?
Evolution said to homosapians,
Of course you saved the last dance for me.

I think I'm ready for my nap now
And it's okay,
there is no one left to wake me.
Dec 2018 · 1.1k
Sleep Meditation
Sjr1000 Dec 2018
The rain finally comes
The spring rises up to greet the sun
On the long river highway,
The road is long
Past the brook
Past the stream
Along the river
Beyond the lake
Past the lagoon
The wetlands too
The highway a ribbon unfolds
Out to the ocean the road goes
With the promise of deepest
Sleep.
Dec 2018 · 331
Memories
Sjr1000 Dec 2018
Car wheels on a dirt road
She turns off the bedroom light
Turns to face herself on a frozen night
It hasn't gone well
Two marriages two fiancees
One Too Many ****** addicts
Along the way

Please forgive me she tells her kids
Her mother goes to sleep never wakes up
Now their moving her to Tennessee
To be close to a father she never did see
A hard luck story from beginning to end
Molested by a neighbor way back when
Eleven years old, they said he was a friend
My father was a **** beat me with a stick
Children are to be seen not heard
So he said
Respect him
I wanted to wait until he was sleeping,
The cast iron and his head
Bye bye

But I didn't

Prison bound eventually
Trusted a woman undercover
Not too bad
Safer than I've ever been
Worked my job
Did my shift
Otherwise never had to get out of bed

A twist of fate
A neighbor decided I was the one
Took me to a Colorado ranch
Five hours from Santa Fe

Staring into the wood stove
I've never really told him about my past
He never seemed all that interested
One more beer and he'll be fine

Car wheels on a dirt road
The night is slow in winter
She turns off the bedroom light.
Sjr1000 Nov 2018
I don't want another Vietnam,
Iraq or Afghanistan

I don't want another wild fire
Flash flood
Or hurricane

I don't want another mass shooting
Famine
Drought
Or
Circumstances which are dire

I don't want to hear
All these cries
I don't want to hear
All these lies
I don't want to know
All these scams
No, I don't want to come over
And hold your hand
I don't want no stinking badge

I don't want a see a magic
Number
I don't want to wake,
come
Out of this slumber

I don't want to know
What I'm supposed to do
Supposed to see
Supposed to be

No, I don't want to
be your friend
I don't want to have to extend
No, I don't want to have this conversation

I just want silence
And the end.

Really
What then?

Blessings they come everyday
In everyway
There is beauty in the lullaby in the winds
The starlings, a river flowing
From this tree to another
The woods green in the fall sun

Which way is it going to be today?



It's going to be
What it's going to be

I don't know

I don't want to know
But it's all a blessing
So they say
Which is it going to be
Today?

Surely one more breath and to our present,
We'll keep on fighting
while we
Surrender.
Nov 2018 · 230
Life as we know it
Sjr1000 Nov 2018
Life as we know it
Life as we grow it
Life as we flow it

It'll punch you in the face
Hold you in a warm embrace

It'll tell you what to do
It'll leave you hangin'n
A hound dog singing the blues
Howlin' at the moon

Life as we do it
Days as we do'em
Never really thinking about what we're doing

Just doing what we're knowing
until it goes.
Nov 2018 · 343
In Between the Poetry
Sjr1000 Nov 2018
You're not alone when you are the poem
It's the silence after that's deafening

You're not alone when you are in the zone,
You're finally home
It's the silence after that's deafening

When the rhythms and rhymes flow
And time puts its head down and goes
It's the silence after that's deafening

When dancing in the night
Doing the tango with words
Dancing down old hallways
Listening for old echoes
Sometimes delight
Sometimes the ruins
You're never alone

It's in between the poetry,
that's when we can hear it
the solitary silence that's deafening.
Inspired by Traveler Tim,  he's the arsonist, igniting poetry all around him.
Nov 2018 · 2.2k
The Psychotherapist Blues
Sjr1000 Nov 2018
I've always been somewhat Autistic,
ADHD
too
More than a little manic
and
OCD
I've had the fever
Occupying me

I've heard the murderous rage
And it was me

I have had my periods of Schizophrenia
Paranoia
Psychic warfare
in the ether

He's looking at me
I keep looking at him
Wondering why he's looking at me

I've got that DID
Going into trances
The poet he writes these tomes,
Waking up in strange places

That PTSD
Get startled very easily

Anxiety and depression
Are you kidding?
What's a day without 'em?

The vice is nice
Abundance to depletion,
The parking lot walk  
Polysubstance abuse
has had it's use

Fetishes phillias
Electric brain all light up
Run amok

Decades of misery
Decades of mastery
Had them all

A walking DSM
That would be me
Everything which is human inside you is inside me

Hanging out with
the human condition
my old friend and me

Trying one more time
to figure it all out,
one more time.
DSM: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental disorders
Oct 2018 · 455
Tenderness
Sjr1000 Oct 2018
Sleep baby sleep
It's been a rough go
without release,
your road has been a thorny one
Feels like you've been cut and sliced
Diced and dangled over high cliffs
And that fear of heights, doesn't help.

The sheets here are a thousand thread
The comforter, grandma's quilt,
Sleep baby sleep
Rest your head.

Life has its ups and has its downs
Streaks and slumps
All in one day.

Put your head down on my chest,
I'll do the rest.

Sometimes the tears are going to slide
Right on down your cheek,
The intensity of our grief is equal to our capacity to love, my own cliche I know
But it's okay
Your day is done

Sleep baby sleep
Rest deep.
The line "the road you walk is a thorny one", the  Gypsy said it to The Wolf Man, circa 1941
Oct 2018 · 1.8k
Moon Before Sleep
Sjr1000 Oct 2018
The goddess dressed in white
carrying the moon
walks up the stairs to my bedroom window
Plants it there

The room is alive with shadows
Echoes of the past

There's a pain
Where pleasure used to be
An exquisite ache no one can see
A lonely breeze that can't be touched
An endless night that can't be unlocked
The mind plays tricks with the shadows on the walls

Anxiety it comes and goes
that we all know,
But it continues to echo and grow

There's a frigid cold
Where warmth used to be.

The moon goddess winks at me,
"Go to sleep,
Goodnight,
Be free."
Oct 2018 · 3.2k
My Walking Rose
Sjr1000 Oct 2018
She's my walking rose
Walking down the road
Discussing right and wrong
Trying to figure out how to stay strong

She wants to grow,
She wants to know
How it's supposed to go,
She turns her color on
Turns a shade of pink yellow white black or red
Only the rose knows,
walking as she goes,
her time is brief
she thinks maybe that's a relief

Her road is long
When she's in the middle of it,
She knows though
It's all a dream as it passes on by.

My rose
She wilts in the dawn
Rises in the night,
I tell her I have one more road to go
My walking rose
She whispers, "I know."
Sjr1000 Sep 2018
Cannabis Cannabis
Are you my friend?
We've  been asking this question
Since who knows when

From the bedroom
To the bathroom
To the den,
Sitting out on the porch
Or out on the back deck
Out by the cactus
Out in the pasture with the brook running through it
Or in
The redwoods ecstatic in the moving fog
With the walls closing in
To the poetry within,
Contentment, lethargic exhaustion, anxiety, with the music moving,
self consciousness exquisite,
ego disintegrating
Remembering, forgetting,
Remembering
Back again
Oh, cannabis cannabis
Are you my friend

We've had the dance
I can't deny
From stems and seeds
To Humboldt flower dispensary
Many stops in between

You've played with my mind
Sometimes I wonder who I would have been

Cannabis, oh cannabis
Are you my friend? (Old friend).
As Traveler Tim told me many moons ago, "It's poetry, not autobiography"
Sep 2018 · 2.1k
Baseball
Sjr1000 Sep 2018
Two outs
Two strikes
It's all over now

There's a line drive
Down the right field line
One run scores
Two runs score
******* in the bottom of the ninth
On a hot summer night
And childhood
Inside
Never  dies.
Sjr1000 Sep 2018
You talked about the hours
I know what you mean
Two cocoons spinning around each other
Waiting to be born

Nothing personal was the agreement
After awhile

It gets lonely
With nothing else to do but be inside

Not wanting to hide
Or collide
Do we really have that much time?

Two cocoons spinning
You became a butterfly
I became a moth
You flew west
I flew north.
The title is one of my favorite Bob Dylan lines from Your Going to Make Me Lonesome When You Go...
Sjr1000 Aug 2018
Friendships that go the distance
Make all the difference
Through lines of continuity
Lasting a lifetime.

Acquaintances come and go
They don't really know
Same team
Same office
Same school
All friendly and warm
But when you part ways
You'll never see them again.

Or there is the reminder
everyone is a hero in their own melodrama,
hurt feelings
falling outs
blocked
miscommunication
blame

Let's let'em pass

Friendships that go the distance
Seen you throughout, inside out
ugly and beautiful
Know all the idiosyncrasies
Know what to give for your birthday
Know what your all about
Willing to work it out

Friendships which go the distance
Are friends with benefits
Unconditional accepance.

Acceptance connecting
Both ways.

We can surely say,
It makes it all worthwhile
When you have friendships going the distance.
For my dearest David on his birthday, the friendship which is going the distance.
Sjr1000 Aug 2018
My love,
is a blackberry bramble
A control freak
Taking over everywhere
Knocking down fences
to follow the sun
to get to their destination.

Thorns with hooks and barbs
Which will slice you cut you
pierce you and not let go
if you get too close

But, along the way
Will deliver to you
the sweetest berries you'll ever know.
Aug 2018 · 2.5k
The Curse of Consciousness
Sjr1000 Aug 2018
When I think about the executioner
I think about at the moment after impact
How every one goes limp into total relaxation
When I think about the executioner
I think about our children in mortal terror
And I weep.

When I think about the executioner
I wonder what he does after
Is there exhilaration?
Andrenial and endorphins,
Whiskey speed and morphine
Prayers all night,
Telling their god about all they gave,
Maybe feeling nothing like killing a fly
Or are there endless movies of regret?

When I think about the executioner
I think about the man in the fiery cage
Head bowed
The man looking to his left
Before the shot goes off

When I think about the executioner
I think of the last breath
Before death

When I think about the executioner
I wonder about being there
And how I will react.
I want to apologize for this one, but the poet, he demands it.
Aug 2018 · 1.1k
Simple Bliss
Sjr1000 Aug 2018
The curve of your smile
The curve of our land
The fruit on the trees

The bull frog sounds
The crickets too
The heat of the sun
The heat of you
Lovers in love with
Nothing else to do
But be in the moment
This moment of me and you.
Jul 2018 · 3.1k
The Stranger
Sjr1000 Jul 2018
He arises in the morning
with nothing to say
He arises in the evening
after being quiet all day

His thoughts they are a dancing  -
The future is dark
The past is bleak
with nothing to dream

The dawn it arises,
At night, the sun
it heads down
Time it stands still
when you have nothing to say  -
You've tried your best in
your own way
Nothing seems to come
but
despair and dismay.

A lover she comes
A lover she goes
Your creations,
they all grow trite
and old

Playing cat's cradle
with a line of string
at the tear line
not knowing
whether to cry
or go numb

Like our lives,
a spider web
on a tree
blowing and shimmering
in the sun light winds.

He arises and dresses
Heads out for his day
With nothing to say.
Jul 2018 · 391
(she had a dream
Sjr1000 Jul 2018
she was)

The vessel embarking at the sudden light

Empty as an infant

The eyes, the windows
The sonar, the ears
The propeller, the legs
The hull, the skin
Equpped with hands to grip and collect
Drifting into the great unknown

(She stirred)

The vessel predisposed to doldrums
basking in the sun's golden light
Mother moon at night
taking the vessel in

In warm embrace

The vessel learning from experience
storing its hurts, resentments,
sorrows, regrets
fears and guilts
in the hold

Susceptible to changing weather
And lightning strikes announcing who
she is

This vessel voyages the seas of time

Forming beliefs about self
telling stories and reminiscing

(She headed to the bathroom
Couldn't help it
Was so into the dream
Tried to keep it with her,
eyelids half shut
The vessel on the high seas)

(She dreamt)

The vessel was stuck at the Cape
Rockin and rollin
in waves of self pity
hanging on to the mast for dear life

Dear life.

Remembering
Deep love
Slices of delight
Happiness coming
The weather calm.

(She awoke with a start
Her breath taken away
"What a strange night"
She had to say,
The moon was setting
Dawn's twilight had not yet begun
She searched the high seas)

The vessel reached its port of call,
It had weathered many storms

The hold was bursting with forlorn
she carries with her,
in every breath she takes,

And, she proceeds -
proceeds to disembark

Fully alive, arriving at her destination

(Awakening, she is in a mood,
her dream, the waterway to the moon,
The vessel remained
The dream had ended too soon
As all wonderful dreams tend to do

The alarm clock went off,
She thought about calling in sick
She got on the computer
Started looking for ports of call.
Heading to the Sierra's for awhile, be well, one and all.
Jun 2018 · 770
Homer Lane
Sjr1000 Jun 2018
No Tell Motel
Low rent rendezvous
Johnny and Darcy
Modern romance
She lived at the doctors house
With the loaded gun
Bang.
Both were going out with
Dancin' Doug
Though nobody knew
They always did their dance at noon
Poor Johnny, he always came to soon,
He was from Virginia City, Nv
A small town boy with a cosmic mind
Darcy was a runaway from Wyckoff, New Jersey, escaping her family having an adventure she had no where else to go
They all lived in the dust on
Homer Lane
A dusty dirt road

Dancin' Doug threw a benefit
No one knew what for
He scheduled bands to play
BYOB
Smoke anything tree
The moon was full
The colored lights were twinkling
Dancin' Doug saw Johnny and Darcy
smooching to
A cover of Dancing in the Dark
Maybe it was the Ecstasy
or maybe it was the whiskey
He didn't know what to feel
jealousy, great love, or greed
He took all their money
And danced on
in
the dust
at Homer Lane

Johnny and Sue
Headed on over to room 102
at The No Tell Motel

Another low rent rendezvous.
Jun 2018 · 823
The Martyr's Blues
Sjr1000 Jun 2018
I've given up being a martyr
I did it tomorrow or maybe yesterday
I finally found the door
Spending less time outside
More time inside
Figuring out what's next.

The chapters in our lives end
The end of that story
Or
What then?
Athletes never beat time
Hang on in forever?

The day turns into the night
You're waking up again.

The answers come and go

There is identity in being a martyr
Knowing/not knowing
What to do
Who to be
What to give
Giving it all away
Perpetual obligation
Perpetual melancholy
A purpose, a project
Completed?

What then?

We all have empty nests
Broken hearts

Projects inevitably end

Standing, looking into the distance,  hand blocking the sun
Lingering
Wondering
Is there one more thing

Yes there is

Moving on
Saying bye bye
it's time.

Alone again.
Psychologically speaking.
Jun 2018 · 2.4k
I can't talk
Sjr1000 Jun 2018
I can't hear
There's a darkness
everywhere

Spinning in circles
Drawing squares in the
air

Confusion reigns
while calmness soothes

Longing for the dawn
at night
Longing for the night
at dawn

Wanting to be alone
when together
Missing you every
second we're apart

At work watching
the clock
At home restless
not knowing what to do

There is a road
that goes
There is a home
that stays
I'm sure there's a way
Never heard them say -
it was easy being
human.
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