Dog asleep,
Snorting at invisible peanut butter,
I have the lights on, but
Feels like no body is home,
Baseball game, barely paying attention,
Cant sleep, too exhausted exhausted,
This is the life I always dreamt,
House full of life,
Is this what's left?

Had an old-timer say on Saturday,
Insane thoughts don't sound too bad,
When you're batshit crazy,
Guess that's where I'm at,
Appreciating that most of the time,
I just don't know,
Nothing,

Drove home again,
Screaming at the headlights and silence,
Screaming at a loneliness I,
Lived so long with,
Screaming,
Why did you leave me,
Alone,
The house is no longer empty,
Screaming that my life,
Is just another,
Cold brew from Sonic,
Is this what's left,

Grey.
The Grey hair was only on my eyebrow,
Guess that's ok,
ATM cards slipping outa my pocket,
While flying over real life fictional cities,
Should have made the world smaller,
But it just made me feel more,
Alone,
There it is.

Newcomer,
Needing life,
Reminds me of what I deserve,
He said,
"I just want what you got"
Perspective
I turn off the light,
Dogs didn't move,
The sonic sobs,
I didn't finish it,
The loneliness flashes like a nostalgic smell,
The Giants beat the Mets.

i still
do not know
the poem i've been trying to write
and maybe
that's because
i haven't been
writing one at all
or maybe it's because
the poem i've been trying to write
is not ready for paper
and maybe
i'm the paper
that's not ready for it

remember that when
your wavering soul
catches fire
for the second
or hundredth
time

when you call on me
once more
misery boiling over
a cascade of every
decision, you
never made

i will not be there
you are alone

She looked at him like he was the sun,
In that she never looked at him,
Except out of frustration.

She complained when he was gone,
But she never looked.

On days he was stronger, she hid from him
On days he was muted, she complained.

She never looked at him until he was leaving,
And in the beauty of the sunset she wondered how,
She'd never seen him before