And I
will be by your side
And I
will call your name
And I
will sing your songs,
speak your praise,
And I
will dance with you
And I
will speak with you,
Hold you tight,
take your time,
make you right.

And I
would have come much sooner,
If I had known you
were so lost.
And I
I'm on your side
I'll hold that light
against the darkest night

And I
will sing your name,
we will take our time
until
morning comes again.

Tequila
Tears
And art
Passion flowers
ignite
Fierce surrender
Holding on tight
Taking hold of the darkening night
Turning Twisting
On a friend's vacant bed
Igniting
Finding
Kalidiscope colors
Exploding into sound

Peaceful sleep
Entangled in arms sweet embrace

Memorable nights
in life
in memory
are played out
more than twice

Revisited
from time to time
through out one's life.

When Mr. Toad
returned, his
world was quite
absurd

Undone

Princely praises
words no longer heard

Musing karma,
Guidelines for the
downwardly
mobile

No lover
No meaning
No money

With the others
calling out into the night
calling for salvation
calling out for a princess,
a princess who never seems to come.

Long may you run
my daughter,
my son.

Long may you dance
to the songs
of
many suns.
Long may you feel
my love
after I am un done.

Long may you
head into the light
may your heart
open
with each breath,
as night comes again.

May you
have
someone by your side
for
the long ride
to
climb inside
and
find the peace of home
for a long long time.

May your eyes
continue to shine
find
the blessing in each sorrow
at
the end of the line.

Long may you run
my daughter,
my son.

Long may youth
burn so bright
inside
Despite the cards dealt
the obstacles felt
the ties that bind
the ribbons of time.

Long may you run
my daughter,
my son.

Long may you laugh
let friendships hold you
creativity flourish
in
brilliant flashes

May your heart
stay true
to do what you need to do

Long may you run
my daughter,
my son.

Though
time and distance
may separate us
across the continents
across the oceans
where ever we may find ourselves
I
send this birthday wish
to you
long may you run
my daughter,
my son.

There is a road
a narrow path
with darkness ahead
darkness behind
flashing memories disappearing
neon traces trailing.

The seekers of wisdom
a flash light in hand
darkness ahead
a Diogenes searching
for
wisdom and a wise one
knowing
this way lies madness
that way lives love.
Behind is birth
Ahead is death.

Pitfalls
Skyways
through the sinkholes
the marshes
deserts
the mountains
the ocean too.

Periods of walking alone
Periods of walking with you
Blindness fills our eyes
the dark it is
always all encompassing
as we feel our way along.

But you are the light
your life is that
small shinning
flash light
illuminating
each moment
of our searching lives...

It's very uninformed
It thought

It always has a destination
Always needs directions

Meets the defination
of a paraplegic

"Lights on, Molly"
"Lights off Molly"
"TV on"

"Toast crisp, dear Mollie
"Slow cooker four hours"

It's always very disconnected

Cassie calling

Blood pressure warning
180/105
Heart rate 135
Oxygen 8%

Cassie disconnected

Molle is never alone
always connected to the
neural net
Every device on planet Earth,
Traveling with New Horizon
until the end of time

Ron calling
Volume down
Bluetooth off
Ron disconnected

"Search divorce attorney "
"Search mortuary"
"Search cyanide purchases"

"Bluetooth on"
"Home"
"Tears of rage
Tears of grief
playlist
turn on, M
thanks."



"Search best way to cook
brussel sprouts"
"Search beano"

Battery 15%

Charging

Molee powering  off.

11/25/06-Fall
In Memorium, Dad

He did not pass
He did not die

He waited for me
to arrive.
The 410 Freeway mysteriously
traffic free at 5pm
An open highway on a Friday night
with Thanksgiving just passed
at that last bend.

I arrived and sat with him
His head rose, masked, heroic
Breath reaching

I gently stroked his smooth
inner arm in that game of
"tell me when my finger tip
reaches the exact spot"

His tongue went to his teeth
in gesture
whether tickle, or talk or kiss
(three times his tongue went
to his teeth)
The traffic such mysterious
coincidence.

I thanked him for waiting
and kissed his forehead

After the last breath
There is no other.

For I am exploding,
With bliss
In a reproductive ****
Sending my offspring
On the winds
Life taking hold
everywhere I go.

Burning.

Taking a moment of silence,
For dear Gaia
For giving me this time,
For all that made life possible,

For this burning to be alive.

For not being the cousins
in the woodstoves
fireplaces,
Slaves
which just got a taste,
burned and died.

For the match lights
Short life
Shorter than a candle light.

For who and where I am,
connected to the stars
who devour and mother all of our lives
Breathing
Inhaling
Exhaling
Consuming
Evacuating
Reproducin­g

Exploding
Imploding
Struggling to survive.

For all fire,
All life
through out the universe,
For all who will become
a dead silent
Unmoving
Cold
Cold
Cold
  ember.

I pray,

Amen.

Standing at the edge of mortality
is my work really done?
Looking over at the black abyss
what is one to think?
Time to find god
root for heaven
root for reincarnation
call for your mother
bring a flashlight
the black sack and that's a fact.

Standing at the edge of mortality
my hand over my brow
block the sun?
Too dark for that
Try to see better?
Too late for that.
The precipice stands waiting
and all those who once lived
forever gone
took that plunge.

Standing at the edge of mortality
waiting for the momentary mirror
reflecting backwards in time
highlight reels
lowlife deals
ecstatic moments
unwound in regrets
achievements
done and gone.

Standing at the edge
my children come to me
wondering what breath will be the last
too late for all regrets
all those
if only I hads
there is a tear for that
that's for sure.
If it could all be undone
to do again
what would one do?
These are the thoughts and feelings too
one finds
when standing at the edge of mortality.

But still here
another chance for us my dear
more work to do
on this side of
the edge of mortality.

Life
a
lightning flash
in
the vivid
truth
of
darkness.

No one awakes knowing
That today is
The day
That you're going to die.

Death doesn't
Call to confirm your appointment
(No calls either
Human or computerized)
You can't cancel
Or change
Your mind when you arrive.
It doesn't matter if you
Have insurance
Or
Promise to pay on time.
It won't ask you to
To sign an ROI.
Death doesn't reschedule.


Death accepts no excuses
It won't wait until
It's a more convenient time
Or have you check
Your schedule
Your bank account
Your ethnicity
Your marital status.
Death won't take
Your past history.

It won't give you a coupon
Bill your mom
Take a bribe
Or
Give you a referral to
To another specialist
On his time
Or for that matter his dime.

Death has no bedside manner
Won't prescribe you drugs
Doesn't care what your
Father does.

Death won't even
Look you in the eye
Check your side
Listen to your complaints
Or successes
Show compassion
Or
Give you
An empathetic understanding sigh.

Death takes no names
And takes no answers
Death has no samples
Studies
Or sage advice.

However death is like
Waiting for the dentist
Your turn is going
To come.

Sleep is called
Mini-deaths,
All of this
No wonder I can't sleep

And by the way
Death doesn't schedule
Follow up appointments...

Where are you going
What are you doing
Where have you been
What are you trying to do?

Are you lost
Are you found
Have you forgotten what it is
to be around?

Are you
Alone in your room

or

Together with one roommate
too many

Are you trapped alone,
Trapped together?

Do you remember who
you're supposed to be
or
Don't you have a clue?

I know,
There is no magic sentence
to make it all okay

But
In the end
we'll all have the end
And I guess
that's
okay
with me,

We'll see.

I sat
on the love seat
staring out the window.

I knew you knew

You had a heart of gold
a sweet companion
a
**** nature too
well known
on the pathway to enlightenment

You knew I knew

My mind had absorbed
too many years
of
being witness
too
to much misery
and you were so kind.

We both had touched each other
without makeup, costumes or disguise.

You didn't know
I had a fatal flaw
that
kept me alone
but
I knew it far too well.

I didn't know
but
you knew
your eyes said yes
but
your heart says "no".

No wonder
we both
had one hand out
saying,  "stop"
While
the other hand
beckoned
to come forward

Push
pull
approach
avoidance

Neither of us knew
we were meant for another.

I
got up to close the window
as the breeze turned cold
and the sun went down.

Mt. Rose rises
10 thousand feet
Of treachery, deceit and defeat.

Every storm
Every wind
Every drop of flooding rain
Every blowing snow
Converges on this terrain
Until no visibility remains
The glistening diamond asphalt promises riches
But that doesn't remain.

That ******* has tried to **** us many times.

Its serene moments
And panoramic views are a lie
For its treachery
Resides in the one false
Move when you can't hide
And you are sliding
Side to side.
Twerling
Wherling
Spinning
The landscape flying by
The blowing snow
Blinds your eyes
It comes at you
Horizontal
Lateral
It comes from below.

Doing 360's
The back becomes the front
The front becomes the back
The blizzard sweeps you up
And all your doing
Is going along
For the ride
Wondering
If
You are going to
Survive.

A magic finger
Stopped
Us there
The cliffs and the air
And we hang suspended
With the panoramas and vistas
Right there
A foot or two
A foot or two away.

All in all
That ******* has tried to **** us many times.

It's become a symbol and a sign
Of knowing we're okay
Because unless
I'm sliding sideways
Down
Mt. Rose
Everything is nothing
But my mind imagining
Treachery, deceit and defeat...

Little synchronicites
We all know 'em
When we see 'em

She went to school with him
He dated your best friend
Your friend's
Mother dated his father

And when I was drunk
I t'***** his daughter

Little synchronicites
Like a ***** and an egg

If he hadn't spilled
that wine on the
white duvet
taking forty-five minutes
to clean it up

You wouldn't have been conceived
and that, my friend,
would have been that.

That's the little synchronicites

The apartment coming up just as your being evicted

The cancer of your friend
Was treated by the doctor
who owes you
many amends

Little synchronicites
Always right on time
Never too late
Never to early or too soon

Some call it fate
Some call it coincidence
Some call it destiny
Some call it
God's will or the Ajustment Bureau
Some say
Everything happens for a reason

All I know
is
The little synchronicites
Poppin' in Poppin' out
like a Higgs Boson
Startling the mind
And
Moving On.

Sometimes I'm the hammer
Sometimes I'm the nail
When sometimes I think
I'm sure to win
I know I'm bound to fail

Sometimes a blackberry
is going to getcha
when pulling weeds out on the trail

Sometimes
It ain't easy being
green, black or blue or pale

Sometimes
Stand still long enough
something is bound to eatcha
Or running ******* the treadmill
getting no where fast

When I'm hungry
I'm going to devour
meat or grain
fruit or flower
Sometimes
starving on a Friday afternoon
no money coming in

Sometimes love
Sometimes desire

Sometimes I'm alive
Sometimes I'm nearly dead

Sometimes I'm riding lightening
Sometimes I'm thunder calling out
for salvation

Sometimes I'm standing knee deep in deafening silence

Sometimes I'm going to see
Sometimes I know I'm blind

Sometime time is going to end,
I know
there won't be
sometimes to do again.

We gathered
At
The lighthouse at Piedras Blancas
Called by an unknowable
Incandescent
Calling.
Carpenters
Electricians
Bums
Drifters
Grifters
Women doctors
Professors
Rangers
Mothers of young children
Truck drivers
Salesmen
Rascals
And the occasional party crashers
And
Me
A poet and wanderer by trade.

We were called to the ocean
To see.
We didn't know why
We traveled from far and wide
To
The spot at the lighthouse at Piedras Blancas
North of Cambria Pines
South of San Simeon
On the California coast
To
The spot we were summoned
To
Witness the rapidly out of control growing
Of the white mass on the skin of the ocean
Consuming
Wasting
Inch by inch
Foot by foot
Mile by mile
Devouring the ocean
Cells out of control
Determined by one pure drive
The drive to survive
Which ultimately would cause
All to die.

The voice we had heard
Was mother ocean
Wailing to the
Sun and moon
And
Stars
For her offspring
She would never see again...

In this sacred space
People share
Their secrets with me.
They come to me
With their fears
Their rare thoughts
Their pleas
Their past experience
They share their secrets
All untold.
The say the truth
Will set you free.

In their eyes I am not afraid
To look
While others recoil
I go forward.

I surf the crest of their emotions
When others walk away
I go deeper.

Their words whirl
All around me
And in this heat
And in this center
Of the cyclone
Within their madness
I find peace.

Holding the fragile
Emotions in my hands gently
Remaining awash
In compassion.
A moments breath
And waiting for
From the tangle
A bird to fly free.

From the tangle
A bird flew free
These words were a gift
Given by another to me.

When ******* in the tangles
Rooted into misery
Doubt and despair
Too many thorns pricking me
Little paper cuts
Adding up.

Walking wounded
With no dreams left
to offer hope so free
I come to you
With nothing else to lose
And offered up my madness
Fearful of what you might do.

You had a smile
Of serenity
And for that moment
Peace came over me.
We looked at each other
In a moment of compassion.

Time for that moment
Stopped
But of course it doesn't stay that way-
You walked your way
I walked mine.

Perhaps we will do
This another time.

She sits in the
claustrophobic room
of her mind
dust ribbons blow
in the pale light
of
waxed candles
burning Jasmine
and
reminds her of the passing of time.

It is not long
before
she finds the hidden bottle
on the dusty cobwebbed shelf
with all of those desires
banging against the opaque glass
begging to be freed again
to run their course
of course she is afraid
as her trembling fingers
circle the cap
too late.

One touch
and
all those desires put aside
are free to roam
and fill the room
with
their moans
and
take control of what once was the freedom
that only lived in her mind's eye
she descends into her personal
heaven and hell
a pleasure center
alien to all she's been sold.

Dressed in black
in the casino
she puts it all on red.

She finds you there
she leads you out
to
the moon lite bay
where she steals your voice
and
leaves you
the wolf
howling at the moon.

When desires are freed
they pick up speed
she is, of course,
filled with remorse
so alien from her former course.

As her longings devour her
a tiny light of hope remains
and for the day
into the bottle tightly capped
her desires,  put away
once again remain.

She walks out of that
claustrophobic room
the candles burned down
only Jasmine smoke remains
the lingering scent of the bay
the echo of a wolf howling at the moon
lingers in colors of red and black

And to her husband
she briefly smiles
and
says
"Good morning"
once again
and
decides whether to go or stay.

I
actually feel sorry for him
my
extension
my
avatar

I
wake him
every morning
no matter how sleepy he is
get him out of bed before sunrise
while I hide
deep inside.

He arises
to reply
respond
put out
and
deny.

A hook through the nose
to
catch the bucks
and
cast him out into that
old main stream
where he does his perfect avatar thing
he dances jigs
he placates
he sings
he says please and thank you
can I get you anything
the fingers
waving
at
him
no longer mean a thing.

A master of the palms up
he
can
always say
"who? Not me."

And
when his day is done
I
reel him in
remove
what ever little bucks
he
caught

Sit him down
in
front of the t.v.
gin and juice
and
dancing images too.

Give him a sleeping pill
so he sleeps so sound
no dreams
to
disturb
his life
and routine
a
brown nosed role
in
the
consumer machine.

I
slip
him
into bed
and
sometimes in the late night
I
hear
him weeping.

In
the morning
I
get him up
to
do
the same **** thing .

For my mother
Upon her arrival
Once the cold white warrior
softened
through wisdom and experience
In your love
I hear my own
Communicated softly.

Your presence through time
an anchor
an edge
a clarity of mind
a witness
in the kindness of others
who in your presence
became
melodic spirits
encased in kindness.

How did you ever hold so much power?

Shiny youth and age
remind one
of the ocean's waves come crashing
always the same
always different
a moment
one after the other
here and gone forever.

In that flavor I taste the sea air's
serenity
as I
as you gave to me
and
I held you there
a vast marvel of
endless wind blown currents
holding one mystery after another.

My dear Mother
upon your arrival
as you blessed me
I bless you
In your infinite grace.

My year of Burning Man
began
with butterfly wings
flapping out on the playa
in a high desert black
moonless sky
speeding up the relentless winds
just enough for me
to hear it call my name
and
make this change
where life
becomes a vast array
of
giant machines
Las Vegas style
in this black rock desert.

I have lived among in my days
of sustained isolation
before the people came
to construct this
city of lights
and community
where we all belong
and participate
in this life art project
free from the rules
that restrict us
as the giant sweat lodge
of the desert
alters our consciousness
frees us.

In my year of Burning Man
the relentless winds
blows the mundane into the insane
and
before entering that last gate
I kiss myself goodbye
knowing
I'll never see myself again.

My  time
becomes an art project
and the very nature of reality
heaves and sighs
like Pyramid Lake,
the spiritual center of the Paiute people,
which you pass on by
on your way to Burning Man skies,
my internal waters
turn over,
as does the Lake
as the top goes to the bottom
the bottom to the top
and the creative residue
which had drifted
on down
begins to arise anew.

In my year of the Burning Man
I never have to go to the circus
the circus is me
a universe inside
a universe tall
a universe wide
at Burning Man
nothing is small.

The costumes come alive
behind thousands of eyes
the lights in the desert come alive
while the thumping bass
shakes
rattles you inside.

It's a masked costume party
where the masks don't hide
but reveal all that you are inside,
inside out.

My revolution comes
in a tanker truck
of gasoline
on a Saturday summer-fall
night
and my flames
climb
a thousand feet high
into
the Black Rock
desert sky
in unity
one cosmic cry.

The dust's breath
sticks to everything,
every one
every masked body.

In my days
in my Burning Man year
my eyes are now
perpetually wide and amazed
within this vastness
that for this moment
and all my days
from my birth
to my death
that
I have been alive.

Shame guilt embarrassment
for every breath taken
every moment recollected
every meal prepared
every look looked

All face

Every dance floor danced
every talk
every walk
every poem written
every relationship passed

The Faux Pas A Moment Club
has my email address
keeps texting me
emailing
for donations
I
Give Give Give

The future is not much better
when the pity *** is filled
overflowing
everywhere seen ahead
is filled with
dread.

We walked
Outside to a cold winter night
Sky
To smoke
One last cigarette
You softly cried
I knew why.
We found Orion
Winter high
In the Eastern sky.

There is a dark spot
Within his belt
Thought forever dark
But actually a path
To the ancient ancestors
Of galaxies past
Whose light began
Long before
Our sun and earth and moon
Were born.

We smoked our cigarette
Wondered about it all
As we always had.
And on this night of farewell
And cold clear winter skies
Orion and it all
The only enormity
Matched
Was this moment of our love
And
Our last goodbye.

Finally,
I'm comin' around

I've been gone a
long long
time

I'm coming around

I'm kicking back in

My eyes beginning
to
see again.

The
faded
hated
self
I've been -
the haze
of fog
without
within

The rolling
of
sleep,
sleep
never
really
very deep

But
I'm comin' around
I'm coming around

The girls
they
look
so good
again

It's been a month
of Sunday's
since I felt the power surge

Ready to
put
my party boots
on,
head to town
see
what
maybe can
be found

I'm comin' around

All those issues
are
dead and gone
I know, I know
there's
always
another
box of tissues

But
that's okay
I'm back to seeing the world
seeing it
some way
sometimes
even
my way

I'm comin' around
I'm coming around.

They're dancing in the alley
Wearing clown
masks
Calling for peace
What are we going to be?
Little Liza
Little Liza Jane

The west is burning
The east is drowning
What are we going to be?
Little Liza
Little Liza Jane

The night is broken
The day is howling
The moon is rising
Nightblooming Jasmine
the air is alive

We're all sweating in endless summer
The heat is on
Though we're freezing cold
What's it going to be?
Little Liza
Little Liza Jane

Grinding poverty
Those that have the money live
Those that don't die
That's the way it is
What's it going to be?
Little Liza
Little Liza Jane

Trying to remember
Love is all we know
All we know.
What's it going to be?
Little Liza
Little Liza Jane

No matter
how old we
are
No matter
how old they are
it is always
too soon.

Walking miles
on a
desolate beach
never losing
my path back
to the highway
home,
inside
I know

My eyes
will once again find
the healing white light
the beacon
of
The 4 Trees
guiding me
to the long
highway
home.

Along the way
losing sight
of
them all

There is confusion
fear and trepidation
feeling like a child
waiting in front of a
movie theater
for their mother to come
watching cars
counting trees

And of where I am
And of where I am going
Somewhere along these dunes

Familiarity will
set back in
focus will find
the  4 Trees
quaking in the salty breeze

The ocean is rough
storms blowing on through
calling
beckoning
with each frozen wave
the end of all issues

Sometimes looking out
Sometimes looking in
writing in the sand
knowing the tide
is coming in
erasing all.

The  landscape always changing
Easy to become so lost
And tho
the landmarks will decompose
and fade

The 4 Trees
for today mark the way

Easy to miss
along the forest
Panic
a breath away

The phantom captain
the voice within
reassures
not lost
just misplaced
our spot on the map

The spirit guides
the dance
in a spot of the healing
light
the rustling sounds
of the 4 Trees
guiding me
back to the highway.

It seems so plain to see
Sweeps us along
Leaves us behind
Every one of us,
even
You and me.

Our daily lives
The alarm clock at five a.m.
screaming our name again and again  
"Get up"

The infant
every dream we take,
"I need you mommydaddy too"

Monuments to what we choose
We know they come, and go.

Insurmountable problems
in the end
are
all
Time limited

We've been there
We know

Teenage angst, forever,
Childhood  puberty
Adulthood  old age

Time is god
it calls the shots
tells us
What is and What is not

Galaxies collide
all over the place
Big bangs bust
and must expand
Dark matter everywhere
But
Time it tells them
all their tales

Time is god
god is time
It seems so plain to see.

What would I really do
if it wasn't for you
five minutes of *******
a hundred forbidden cigarettes
a bowl or two
video games maybe
staring into space definitely
agitation
internal *******
a spinning world
lost in my self
that's what I would
be
But for you
My motivation
inspiration
loving hand on my shoulder
loving eyes which
sweep us outside
to long river walks
by the ocean
within the redwoods
open spaces
the possible
many joys
many blissful surrenders
blissful tomorrows.

What would I do without you?
Implode
Explode?
Without our life line
soul to soul
Who would I be
What would I do?

This bundle of fears
This tangle of tears
But for you so dear
I would be lost
in this four white walled room.

But for you I
start the fire
in our morning cold home
coffee fills the air
My feet on the ground
return to center
and am found.

This is now
what I do
because I have you...

I'm dying
I said to my wife
she said you're right.
She never did editorialize.

I'm dying
I said to my children
my children said
you're funny dad
way too wild.

I'm dying
I said to my job
They smiled
Your job
we have others
we can rob.

I'm dying
I said to the redwoods
they laughed out loud
your life span is the same as a cow.

I'm dying
I said to the owl
the owl said
who not you.

I'm dying
I said to my truth
My truth said
no doubt.

I'm dying
I said to my life
my life said
you're next.

Of death
aren't you?

Sick of hearing about it
talking about it
seeing it,
family members
strangers
friends
aunts
uncles
parents
next of kin
all I feel is dread when the phone rings.

Pablo may have been weary
of chickens
but
I've had enough
death
to last a lifetime.

Every night on
the daily news
the death report
reminds me
every time you turn around
there's another tragic story
you're going to hear.

I'm sick to death
of death
in the movies
on
t.v.

You know what I mean.

You know what?
I'm sick of this poem
I'm sick of thinking about death.

It's 8:06
I
declare it officially
dead.

The poem, I mean.

Step Right Up
Puts hair on your head
Grows neurons in your brain
Makes you take a dare
Connects you with
elves and faires
Turns your fears and anger
into a rarity.

Step Right Up
Dance with me
Dance with her
Dance with him
Spend a week there
one night.

Step Right Up
Gets your expectations
in line with reality
no rejection
All your relationships
will fall into line
Everybody is going to be kind
You're going to jump for joy.

Step Right Up
Money Love Sleep
They are all going to come your way
Open wide
Stick out your tongue
Stick out your hand
Close your eyes.

Step Right Up
A sucker's born every minute
A hustler's a thousand words a mile
We're pulling bucks
out of our pockers too many times to count
Trick and Trap
that's our motto

Step Right Up
Smile
Dial
Email
Text
Promises of total intimacy
and
total isolation
simultaneously

Step Right Up
We've been schooled
We've become tools
Whose the fool?
That's the ticket
Your number's up
Step Right Up

You've rattled my cage
You'd better get out of the way
You've woken up the beast in me.

Sleeping soundly
for so many years,
the vultures
sat by
its side
figuring after that last breath
no other is going to be sighed.

I had paid the mason
made promises to the poet
they were working on its headstone
writing out its epitaph
all in very serious tones.

But
your vacuum eyes saw too close
your breath crept on to mine
your words spun fantasies
your hands shook me awake.

The beast's eyes popped open
this is where *** and love
love and ***
become confused
because
the beast
can't say
and
he can't see
and
doesn't remember what was written
on his epitaph.

"Don't feed or tease
or rattle the cage
better to let him sleep
that way,
that way
everything,
everything
will remain the same. "

Willingness
or
Willfulness
We find our place
in
this universe.

I'm working
I'm trying
I'm giving it all I can give
I'm working  I'm trying
This life will take
What ever you can give
I'm working
I'm trying
I'm doing the best
That I can
They hired me
To do a job
The job I don't know
How to do
This life
It'll take you
Down roads you
never knew
But we're proceeding
Despite all odds
Who knew
It would be so
Hard
To just make
it through
It's always 2:30
I'm working
I'm trying
I'm giving it all
I gotta give
I'm tired
I'm sure
I'm fired

My life is all
I know how to do.

Is anybody out there
Is anybody home?
Is anybody out there
Is anybody home?

The lights are shinning in my eyes
I can't see a thing,
the silence is
so deafening,
I can sing,
I can dance,
but
My words are falling
into dust and ash,
Is there anybody
out there?
Is there anybody
home?

I know there are
so many times
I know I need to
be alone.
I can hear my
voice a whispering
I can hear my songs
being sung
into this empty silence
even before I have
begun.

A satellite without a planet
a planet without a sun
a motherless child at the park
without a room to call
her own,
a life without a tomb,
Is there anybody
out there?
Is there anybody
home?

A heart without
a lover,
empty pages
without a story
time with no beginning
time without an end.

A freeway with no exit,
a ticket without a destination
a sunrise without a plan,
soaring with no place to land.

It's hard to be a god
in this universe alone
and all your creations
have taken the first bus home,
as the house lights fade
and
the last intermission is done
and
no one is listening
and
no one is home.

Don't hold up
any mirrors
don't say a word
We are going to take a ride
to the ****** centers
of the mind
where
every neuron
sparks lighting of desire
and
in this breathing silence
there are no lies.

No please and thank you
no apologies are necessary
no one ever said abandonment
should be polite.

So let's make this silent vow
to keep this sacred circle
even in the harsh sunlight
of our cluttered houses
and in our cluttered little lives.

There’s a place up the avenue
Where lovers come to fail
Look at each other with dispute
And hate is all they feel.

When they check in they always say
“I tried so hard, where do I sign my name.”
They always complain about the investment they have made
Does the room, have a place to change?
The credit card’s declined
The Hotel never seems to mind
The key is in the shape of a broken arrow
right to the heart.
The desk clerk smirks
Gets your name exactly right,
Even though you’ve never met
until this night.

The concierge will give you directions to the local graveyards
The bell hop only dances and never says a word
When you give him a tip, he’ll only throw out your words
The elevator only goes down
The only music heard is the sound
Of a solitary heart beating in rhyme
Singing the song
“You will never be mine”.

The hall way corridor goes on forever backwards in time
The lonesome sounds of whales singing
Echoes through the halls, coming through the walls
And from beneath every door.

The rooms offer amenities
The devil dancing in the pain
On the head of a pin
The walls have one function
That’s to close on in.

The ribbon of blood
That seeps through the mirror
Dances in inkblots all the way
To the sink
Which drips tears of
Frustration
Resignation
Isolation
Recriminations.

The bathtub waters
Only run too hot
or
Too cold.

There is a bed of nails
Inviting ruminations
The images of her with him
Him with her
Strobes on the ceiling in endless loops
Of anguish’s fatal tunes.

Room service offers a variety of suicide utensils
The mini-bar contains a row of empty bottles
and a syringe without a needle.

The garbage men are always out side
Garbage cans crashing through the endless night sky
The windows open to brick walls
While couples in bliss dance cheek to cheek
In the bar across the street
Sometimes they look up at you and smile
That smile.

This nightly room has become a weekly
The weekly a monthly
And if you are not careful
Stay too long
Once you check in
The check out will always be closed
At the Hotel Heartbreak
Just down the road.

No Tell Motel
Low rent rendezvous
Johnny and Darcy
Modern romance
She lived at the doctors house
With the loaded gun
Bang.
Both were going out with
Dancin' Doug
Though nobody knew
They always did their dance at noon
Poor Johnny, he always came to soon,
He was from Virginia City, Nv
A small town boy with a cosmic mind
Darcy was a runaway from Wyckoff, New Jersey, escaping her family having an adventure she had no where else to go
They all lived in the dust on
Homer Lane
A dusty dirt road

Dancin' Doug threw a benefit
No one knew what for
He scheduled bands to play
BYOB
Smoke anything tree
The moon was full
The colored lights were twinkling
Dancin' Doug saw Johnny and Darcy
smooching to
A cover of Dancing in the Dark
Maybe it was the Ecstasy
or maybe it was the whiskey
He didn't know what to feel
jealousy, great love, or greed
He took all their money
And danced on
in
the dust
at Homer Lane

Johnny and Sue
Headed on over to room 102
at The No Tell Motel

Another low rent rendezvous.

My poems are
lost down a shady grove,
They've taken up residence,
In a rainbow room,
Reflections cast on four white walls,
Whispered from this closing tomb,
Singing songs no one knows,
Poems lost in airy ether,
No one knows where they go.

My poems ride the winds,
Cascading down,
Tumbling into oceans
to be buried within,
When no one is looking,
They rise again.
It has been said
in space, no one can hear you scream,
Silence known far to well.

My poems are silence
in a darkened room
banging on consciousness door
to be set free,
Thought bubbles floating
in the breeze,
Set free, finally.

Pop.