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Sjr1000 Dec 2013
Where have all the Peacemakers
Gone?
Have they gone awry
Have they gone astray
Have they all died away?
What exactly are they doing
Today?

We face a universe's
Insatiable hunger
For death
On this small blue speck
Ants on an anthill
In the middle of the forest
Just off this path
Slaughtering each other
Over one
Miniscule mound of sweat.

We knock on the door
I'm hungry please let me in
When I'm hungry enough
I'll kick that **** door in.


Where have all the Peacemakers gone?
Whose coming with the light of dawn.

Every night on the news
The death report reports
And the cumulative sorrows weep
For the innocent
While genocide marches
Through the streets.
I can hear their cries from here.

Tell me dear
Where have all the Peacemakers gone?

Have we
Has the universe
In its insatiable hunger
Really
Killed each and every one?

I watch the apocalyptic
Dawn
And I can't help but feel so
Alone.
So I reach out to you
In affectionate
Hunger
And bury my face
In your breast for a
Moment's rest.
While in my heart are all
The cries
Of all the generations
Who have asked this before
They died

Where have all the Peacemakers gone?

And why?
Sjr1000 Dec 2013
Mt. Rose rises
10 thousand feet
Of treachery, deceit and defeat.

Every storm
Every wind
Every drop of flooding rain
Every blowing snow
Converges on this terrain
Until no visibility remains
The glistening diamond asphalt promises riches
But that doesn't remain.

That ******* has tried to **** us many times.

Its serene moments
And panoramic views are a lie
For its treachery
Resides in the one false
Move when you can't hide
And you are sliding
Side to side.
Twerling
Wherling
Spinning
The landscape flying by
The blowing snow
Blinds your eyes
It comes at you
Horizontal
Lateral
It comes from below.

Doing 360's
The back becomes the front
The front becomes the back
The blizzard sweeps you up
And all your doing
Is going along
For the ride
Wondering
If
You are going to
Survive.

A magic finger
Stopped
Us there
The cliffs and the air
And we hang suspended
With the panoramas and vistas
Right there
A foot or two
A foot or two away.

All in all
That ******* has tried to **** us many times.

It's become a symbol and a sign
Of knowing we're okay
Because unless
I'm sliding sideways
Down
Mt. Rose
Everything is nothing
But my mind imagining
Treachery, deceit and defeat...
Mt Rose  stands between South Reno and Lake Tahoe. Its one of the highways going from Reno to Tahoe. This is a second version of this poem. Hopefully an improvement.
Dec 2013 · 488
Found And Lost
Sjr1000 Dec 2013
There was an idea
I had last night
At the moment between
Consciousness and sleep sublime
An ephemeral ribbon
Of insight
That opened my heart
And my mind in parts
That had been blind.

My mind said "rise"
My body said "do you think that's wise?"

That ribbon floated on by.

"Get up write it down"
"I'll remember it word for word"
Of course that was a nasty lie.

In this morning's black darkness
It was gone It was gone
Like the moments of our lives
Floating ephemiral ribbons
Dancing in the breezes
Of  time. ..
Sjr1000 Dec 2013
Creativity
&
Madness
I've walked the razor's edge.
Playing it straight
In public places
No one knew
The thoughts and voices
Running around my head.
Fortune dictated
I never made it
To the walking dead.

Secret sharers
Come to me
At the beginning
And at the end
Of their plunge
Into that madness
Falling off the ledge.

No sleep came to them
Electronic insomnia
Ran them.
Cars became creatures
Screaming at them
As real as the table
Between us.

Imagination run wild
A chariot
The horses sweating
And running full speed
The reins either
Flapping untamed
Or
Imagination chained
Directed into these lines.

Creativity
&
Madness
At the razor's edge.

Disorganization
Voices screaming
When the wind is silent.
Miming up against the walls
No one can see them at all.
And in space as they said
"No one can hear you scream"
And space surrounds me.

Creativity
&
Madness

Pros & cons
Cost benefit ratios

*** makes it worse
The roots ungrounded

Crystal gears it up

Alcohol numbs the
Mind with depression's
Blanket of dread.

While ****** leaves
You strung out and lead.

The drugs they give you
Leaves you walking dead
But calm and able
To
Play it straight in public places
Far from the
Razor's edge
Of creativity & madness.

What's a poor boy to do?
Wind up sleeping in the park?
Cold wet encampment bound
Lost in the landscape
Of madness
Sights
Shadows,
A mind full
Of old echoes
Blinding.

How do we walk
This line?
A few fall over
A few are left behind.
Some never know what they could find
And some find that it all resides
At the intersection
At the razor's edge...
Dec 2013 · 232
Untitled
Sjr1000 Dec 2013
The sun rises
In the east.
The sun sets
In the west.
I run to and fro
And never find my rest.
Nov 2013 · 694
Hollerdays
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
Hollerdays Hollerdays
We're heading south
To
LA.

The kids are asking me
Are we there yet
I'm always telling 'em
We're always there.

The turkey's laid out
Samonella feast
A lotta pink not much meat.
My father's screaming about the right
My brother's yelling at his wife
My mother's crying in the kitchen light.
My aunt is grinding her pelvic bone
Into the back of my hand on the couch.
Uncle Paul just out of rehab is
Pouring out another one.

While my sister's distressed her third husband Fred arrived mostly undressed.
Her kid keeps sticking out
His tongue at me.

Jesse's next door
Doing a smash
And grab.

Liza's boy
Toby has come
Undone.

While you
And I dance
In the hall.
To "the road goes
On forever
And
The party never ends"

While the cousins have taken
Their fight outside
Just about the time
The cops arrive to
Warn us about Mickey
barking
In the yard.

The ****'s all gone
The bottles are done.
Kisses all around for
Each and every one.

Hollerdays Hollerdays
Same time
Next year
We hold our traditions close and dear.
Thank you robert earl keene. If only I could do it as good as you.
Nov 2013 · 350
I look for you
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
I look for you
You look for me
I breath the air
You breath.

I hold you close
I feel your touch
I watch you move
I hold you dear to me.

I found you there
When my life was scared
I found you here
When my life was more than
Half over

If I could unwind the time
Knowing that you were here
I would have searched
Each and every soul to have made
You mine.
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
I laid him down
In a playground
Upon which he could
Never play again

My son, my friend
My sadness overwhelms me
About what might have been

And the innocence in
Those eyes and the purity
That presence designed

It lingers across time
On the inside

I mourn for you my son
I grieve for all I have become
And left you so alone

"Daddy is that you"
You called in the night
But I was no longer there.

I had laid him down
In a playground
Upon which he could
Never play again

"The world, " he said
"Had spun one way"
"Then ceased it's movement"
"And began to spin the other"

From this sorrow of
Abandonment, my son
My child, both inside
And out

I laid them both down
In a playground
Upon which he
Could never play
Again. ..
There are times in our lives eveytime we walk down
that line will lead to embarassment, anxiety and dread.
We already know the end of the line. It was once said instead of misery let's go eat pie.
Nov 2013 · 724
Last chances
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
Spring dances
Alley glances
Last chances
Internal cyclones spinning

I offered you golden words
without end

You gave me elusive lies

I offered you tender trances
places where music
never stops dancing

You gave me ******* lips
thin hips
silicone ****
wide eyes
hidden thighs
A curled finger which was a
a disguise

"Yes" was in your eyes
"No" was in your mind
In the words you said
You left me blind.

I didn't come for
The mask
The make up bit

I came for you that
golden woman inside
with the loving eyes

But I didn't have the alchemy
to turn your lead into poetry.
Nov 2013 · 659
Do as I say not as I do
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
With the flipping of
The tide
I realize my life
Is
Passing bye.

With the wilting of
The rose
Out there is
The end of the road.

In the night
I had longed
For the light
And
In the morning
I had longed
For
The night.

When together I wished
To
Be alone
And
When alone
Haunted every moment
In isolation's
Prison
I searched every soul
For
You.

"Smell the roses"

I added up
Every fault
From the past.
I dwelled
In all fears
For the future.

Gratitude for the
Present
Was
Beyond my grasp.

And here I am
At
The  turning of the tides
The wilting rose
The end of the road.
Nov 2013 · 1.2k
Meditation
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
Breath in
Breath out
Breath in
Breath out
Peace in
Stress out

Peace in
Peace out

Serenity in
Serenity out

Love in
Love out

Compassion in
Compassion out

Bliss
And the mind is silent


...
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
A song of streaks and slumps
themes repeat themselves without relief
one minute you are up
one minute you are down
and each moment feels like forever

Nothing is going to change
inside or out
helplessness reigns
every decision you make
you should have refrained
every decision you didn't make
was the one which would have fixed everything.

You sit in shame
staring at the wall and wondering.
A flip of the dice, a flip of the cards,
a flip of the light, a glance from blue eyes
heat crackles midas
touch
you think you know
for the moment you have it all.

A song of streaks and slumps
sometimes decades long sometimes in moments wrong.
A river forever different forever the same

Don't lose hope
Don't get too cocky

In the end
streaks and slumps march us through our time.
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
Couldn't figure it out
Couldn't see it coming

was innocent once again
figuring out the ins and outs

Let's just get down
to the heart of the matter

Exiles stance wore him out
The glass house peering out
Hot breath on the glass
(Total disconnect when she left)

Let's just get down to the heart
of the matter

Lives roll in on the tides
Roll back out when time dies
While butterflies fly
all around me

Let's just get down to
the heart of the matter

In constant conversation
this isolation
Silence and words incessant
Don't talk about what
can not be
that one adoring touch

Nothing comes inside to
heal that fragile spot
Time's passing grace
Time's moment of adoration
Windy touch

Let's just get down to the
heart of the matter

Darkness, life and death....
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
For my Mother upon her arrival
Once the cold white warrior
softened through wisdom and
experience.
In your love I hear my own
communicated softly.

Your presence through time
an anchor, an edge
a clarity of mind
a witness in the kindness
of others
who in your presence
became melodic spirits
encased in kindness too.

How did you hold so much power?

Shiney youth and age
remind one of the ocean's
waves come crashing
drawing back
mixing
Always the same
Always different.
A moment one after the other
and gone forever.
In that flavor I taste
the sea and serenity
as I, as you gave to me;
and I held you there
a vast marvel of
endless wind blown currents
holding one mystery
after another

Dear  Mother
Upon your arrival
as you blessed me
I bless you
in your infinite grace
Written for and read at my mother's memorial.
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
11/25/06-Fall
In Memorium, Dad

He did not pass
He did not die

He waited for me
to arrive.
The 410 Freeway mysteriously
traffic free at 5pm
An open highway on a Friday night
with Thanksgiving just passed
at that last bend.

I arrived and sat with him
His head rose, masked, heroic
Breath reaching

I gently stroked his smooth
inner arm in that game of
"tell me when my finger tip
reaches the exact spot"

His tongue went to his teeth
in gesture
whether tickle, or talk or kiss
(three times his tongue went
to his teeth)
The traffic such mysterious
coincidence.

I thanked him for waiting
and kissed his forehead

After the last breath
There is no other.
My father's last coherent words.
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
It's a crazy rancid
dance we do
Hold On.

It's illusions fading
into illusions created
Hold on.

It's a solitary star lite
full moon night
Hold on.

There is laughter in an
empty room
Lover's shadows on a darkened
wall
Curtains waltzing
in a warm wind night
Hold on

There is a woman on the
road tonight
running from this room
she had loved me then
she had loved when.

She turned up the music
Turning down desire.
Hold on.

Reaching and missing
at cross-roads passed
turn down the music
return to me.
Hold on.

The moon is fading
the stars are dimming
the sun is rising
the last note is played.

Hold On.
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
Billy arrived when the
sky was all ******
"Sailors take warn
Red sky at dawn."

He never was a sailor
and he never awakened so early.
He stopped for a coffee
at a Brew and Blue

This is when he met
Rainbow - a hippie child
all stunted and rude.

"Enlightenment will never be mine"
Billy muttered as he climbed into the orange booth.
Eying Rainbow's *****.

Rainbow looked him over
she had seen one too many
dusty would be sailors.

But something about his
manner-gave her hope
for something that mattered.

They looked into each
other's eyes to find
two companions without
disguise.

This rather shocked them
into disbelief but
life takes twists and
turns definitely different
than whatever we expect.

Billy was a screenwriter's
son with wealth and
health
Abandoning all fantasy
he claimed he rode
the rails in order to be free.

Rainbow raised by a bipolar
soul, who claimed never to know,
wandered aimlessly
with no where to go -
she had slept in stairwells
of stranger's homes - till
mother's flip was over
and she was taken to the car -
her new home, again.

Billy and Rainbow, as ridiculous
as it comes, tried to deny it,
but knew they had already begun.

It has slipped their minds
they were lovers from kingdom come.

Billy left and went
searching for other scars.
Rainbow sat on her
porch and searched the stars.

The train blew its whistle
at the crossing
and the rains began to come.

A week later, Billy was
back setting up a home,
waiting to find Rainbow
who had hit the road
searching for Billy,
that lost soul.

They both remembered
what had slipped their minds
being together was one
moment when life was
kind.
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
a poet's words
a painter's eyes
a visionaries mind
a river dry
a rainless sky

Pairs without salvation
are the gamblers despair

a lover when she loses
her desire
is
darkness beyond repair...
Nov 2013 · 784
Women of a certain age
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
Women of a certain age
not so young and not so aged
have witnessed the passing of love's parade
They dance at night alone
to fight the diminishing
returns of youth's flight.

They have found peace and
quietude in wisdom
about life's truth.

No knight comes.
No child answers
"come home's" call.
No money opens
heartfelt doors.
No strife is beyond
their solving might.

They have given it all
in healing other's
wounded night.

They take it back
inside to find
in their eyes
a moment of serenity
wise and laughter in
those eyes,
where candles light
their longing night...
Nov 2013 · 721
We are but hat racks
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
We are but hat racks
moving through
a dark and silent world
with our internal consciousness,
beliefs, projecting - deluding
us with the fantasies
that these are our realities
(puffs of air demark us)
while internal chemical
tides control us.

But it is all god and
love connected to
nothing but internal
emotional truths
in a dark and silent universe...
Nov 2013 · 987
I fell for you
Sjr1000 Nov 2013
I fell for you like an anchor
I fell for you like an airplane crash
A satellite hurling firey burning
to earth
It was an avalanche
a total tidal wave
How was I to know you
were going to be
a force of nature to me
Leaving me
so small. ..
Four years ago, Sjr1000 came out to play.

— The End —