we have to be the light and burn
and help others burn
and show them the way
because sometimes
we are their last matchstick
and they are stuck in a cave,
unable to find their way out
we should help them out
and be their light in their times of duress

because sometimes
we have to burn away
to let others prosper
and often times
they will credit you for it
for being their last resort
and also for being their light out of the tunnel

But, they will miss you
for you were the last one
and now if they go back in the cave
then they can help someone else
who is lost there
but will not be able to get out of it
because you were their last hope
and now you are
*burnt

You wanna know who I saw today?
I saw two people in a convertible
Girl and Boy
Of course
and it reminded me of myself
Not the part where hate came in
But the part where love was strong

It gave me a futuristic vision
That we would be like that
You on the shotgun seat
Me driving down
Flooring the accelerator
Just zooming past everyone
And skipping our college classes

All of my imagination
Running wild
Due to free time and music
Dreaming and sleeping
For the dream being so pleasant

Thank you
For being present
In my life for a brief part
It still gave me hope
To look forward everyday
Thank you

*I do hope
To see you
Later in life
When you do love me
With your whole heart

Don't boggle my mind
With your big words
Its okay
If you can't say them right

It takes time sometimes
You'll learn them
Eventually

Story..
Stories
I have a story to tell
It's a tragic one as usual

A day goes by. Silence reigns and birds cuckoo
While this happens..
Two people sit under a tree
Using it as a rendezvous
For usual meetings
They met...
Once...
In ten days

They enjoyed it
I helped another person
and he tried to help me
I did a better job of helping him
that's what I think..

Anyways, once they met
they enjoyed it
they would talk together
and climb a tree
Play with a dog, which was a
golden retriever
They are big!
It was a lot of fun
Often playing Videogames
like..
Mario kart..?

That was a day
and it happened on
an occasional basis
when both of them could spare some time
from their daily *time consuming life

-----------------------------------------------------------­-----

One day however
A bright sunny day
A sunday afternoon
filled with birds flying about
nearly the end of the school year
It was all going by wonderfully

We had met another time
because you called me
and told me to help you out
and just to relieve the stress
that the school year had put on us

We climbed a tree
with a rope on it
it was pretty tall
about 10 feet high

I remember talking about self harm..
..and ways to **** oneself
and I gave up climbing and jumped off
the rope
6 feet
straight down
on my back/ankles

It hurt like batshit crazy
but i told you I managed through it
then later
when talking to our friends
I let it slip

I told her about my failed attempt
I was really depressed after that
It actually FAILED!

Well, now more people knew about it
and these rumors spread fast
as you would know
I was still fine with school
just.. I  became more depressed
My grades were fine
I was nearly at the end of the year
nearly there.
nearly

And then
I realized
that
Mockingbirds
are similar to humans
they don't talk much
at the time of crisis
but they remember
it, and pass it onwards

They don't lie.

*Mockingbirds dont lie

That's who I am
I feel like
and probably will remain

You don't read about mortals
becoming Immortals
so...
you remain a mortal
and die as one

Everyday
is a walk like Mortal
amongst Immortals
who are better than you in everything
Goddy Omnipotent freaks

I won't ever be an Immortal
I will be just another
derogatory mortal

Under-estimated
Under-defined
and
just
not
worth
it

Whil­e the Immortals will steal
all the glory that I give them
and they will shun me more
because you know
MORTAL

You cannot live in a world
like this.
You just can't.

It's too much








The Immortals are just good
at everything
and will remain so
and be jealous of a mortal
a foreigner
a regular
kid.

Anything with love hurts
My friends talk
And say.
You do like me
I refuse
Thinking I understand you
better

I know that's false
No one wants to
Show their real selves
They don't believe me
I always have my true self
When talking to nearly anyone

But again
I know
You don't like me
And I suppose
Its fine
Because the sadness
Of one person
Is nothing
Considered to the
Happiness of someone else
Especially your loved ones
I guess I need to move
And get out of your way
So someone you
Believe to be worthy
Finds you.

It was my pleasure
To serve you.
Now..
Goodbye.

*****

My shadow should be
proud of me
because I have done good things
Like
Write poetry
And
Fall in love with amazing people
Who did break my heart
But it doesn't matter really
I am not a likable person
Done just as many stupid things
Like
Try to **** myself
But hey
It doesn't matter
Sometimes, time hates us
Sometimes it doesn't
And sometimes
You gotta do it to relieve yourself

So in the end
My shadow should be proud of me
For I have done
Things which are stupid and things which
Are intelligent
So shadow please
Be proud of me
And don't leave me here alone

Dark and calming
Peaceful and energetic
Chirping heard in background

I have no hope remaining
Constant hate + my depression
Only results in self destruction
Nothing to tether onto either....

Where we go, we won't need roads
Because we are free souls
*free

You know
who would like
to suffer with me?

*No-one

You told me was suicidal
And i tried helping
It was tough
But we persuaded him to live

Later, yesterday…
I saw him in the hallway
And was going to ask him
"How are you feeling?"

Only to pull myself back
Because my question would have
Made him, lose trust on you
For revealing the world about his suicidal intentions

So I didnt ask him
So that he will continue talking
Talking to you, and you could help
Otherwise

It would be one cut too far
And nobody informed beforehand...

I remember the first time we met
Maple leaves flying everywhere
Wind blowing gently
People in the park
Everything so peaceful
So quiet

Nope.
Would have liked to meet you
That way
But couldn't
Instead
We were in said school
In home room
To be honest

And I.....






....got lost seeing you.

It hurts
more
When stabbing oneself
When having a heartbreak
When depression walks in
When you are hated upon
and it hurts the most
When everything you do
is criticized
and
hated

She was a true princess
on this world
She was rich and wild
and free

She always got what she wanted
without any questions or doubts
I
was her prince

The prince who would look at her
and start blushing
due to her exuberant beauty
She was like a red rose in a garden of purple tulips

Her beauty was unmatched by anyone
The Prince loved her so much
he was ready to do anything....anything
just to make the princess love him

The Princess however loathed him
she hated him more than he loved her
She wanted him gone from her life
But he wouldn't leave

He was afraid to let go of her
He was a kind person
unrealistic, and dreamed of living with her
But she wanted him dead

And one day, she did it
She found her inner strength
and finished him off
for once and for all

And left her kingdom with the one she desired
But she wasn't feeling loved
She didn't like her new prince
She yearned for the old one

But he was gone
little did she realize
that he actually loved her
for who she was
and not for what she was

We locked eyes with each other
And you knew
That something had changed..
You were in love

Who am I anymore?
I dont know
But you reflect me
I can tell
By the behavior and actions
Is this your usual self?
I don't think so
Because you never so jolly before
But now that you are
Let's go and see the world
For there are places to go
and places to see

I am scared.
Don't hold me
It will make me look
Like a scared viking
I don't know if they existed
But I don't want to be the first of the kind

So take pleasure
In my discomforts
And leave me alone
When I am scared.

Yes.
This is titled
because
I found someone
to go along with
hand in hand
for a whole night

Though it was scary
Wasn't as bad as I thought
She accepted it
I felt relieved
to have found someone
to share a night with

Sleep is magnificent
its powerful arms,
gripping us. holding us.
furtively. enclosing us.
in its vast embrace of solitude.

We were sleeping
regardless of the time, and the heat,
emanating from our bodies.
Our bodies, cramped onto a bed
with legs intertwined
and pillows everywhere and
blankets hiding our faces.

The serenity, the solidarity
amongst us.
To simply sleep.
Nothing more, nothing less
simply to lie in the embrace of the other
with eyes closed, but bodies closer.

Such is the power of sleep.
To bring two individuals together,
to bring two souls together.
Aligning their heart, their minds, their bodies
to love each other.

You are wonderful
and interesting
and just so intelligent

I know!!
I understand
and i know its wonderful
talking to an interesting person

But I don't believe in myself
I don't trust myself
I am cynical
Doubting myself
preventing myself from gaining my power

Just being cynical is preventing me
this is not good