i am a kid

Remember the time.
When we walked home?
It was so mucho fun
We just had talks
About love
Being in the air
All the time

I sincerely miss
Talking to you
Though you ignore me
More than often
You did help me through
And many others
So when you do have hard times
Don't shy
You listened to me.
I will listen to you.

That's something
I want to do
As payment for your help.

=)

Right at this moment
I wanted something to fall on me
To feel true pain
I haven't felt it in a while

Strange feelings

Time - 17:30 pm
Date - *September 3rd 2013

Please do it,
I am literally going insane
I need desperate assistance
I am very serious about this

My dreams are becoming reality
and reality..
well
I don't know where that is going
But, Very seriously
I am being troubled
hence,
I am asking you
to tether me down
so reality doesn't escape me

Please do me a favor
So i can live..

I know..
It may be cliché
But.
You made me
Find happiness
Showed me a true path
Reverted me
To my old self
The one who made
Really scientific jokes.

I really hope
You feel better
After another round
Of thanks
Because you really did
Make me
Get back on the right track

I don't think
Just saying this much helps
But..
I can't thank you enough
You changed me to normal
But added a twist
A good one of course
Now I am better
Stronger!
And happier!!

**Thank you, again.
For all you've done

Do you remember that day?
When we first met?
It was beautiful..

The sun was shining bright
the sky was clear...
the trees were being green and lush
The flowers were blooming

And we were having a fun time
We danced a bit
Talked for everr

And we stayed together,
to watch the sun dip below the horizon
Promising each other
That we would rendezvous
at the same spot and the same time

The next day
I waited for you..
And you never came
I waited for you the day after..
staying for more than 3 hrs after the rendezvous
Yet you never came

That day my heart burned through my skin
I never found out why you didn't come
But what I did realize was that
Trusting people too much
Doesn't end well

Late at night
When everything has stopped making noise
I start to fall asleep
But soon after
I wake up
In cold sweat
I look around and
Realize that my heart is stolen

By that special someone
They dared
To come at my house
Just to steal my heart
How brave
Yet foolish
To only take my heart

You should've taken me too

Is it just me
Or
Did someone decide to make me happy?

Either, Or

Doesn't matter
It made me happy
nonetheless
to know
that

someone recognizes me
not as a shadow
but as a person

I have become the shadow
that i definitely didn't want to become
well, that's just outright depressing.

I hope that
Your lips are
On my lips
Soon..

Not just for homecoming
or school events
but for an eternity
so we can
remember
each other
and our love
for the other

I don't know what to talk about
my insanity?
my horrible lack of confidence?
my beautifully hated self?

The problems come
after I figure out a way to overcome
the aforementioned things

Once they are good
I don't know what to talk about
and I am left lonely again...
...and I lose myself
and become insane
and oh joy!
*we are back at square one.

I realize
I made mistakes
One too many
I wish to change them
OR
Apologize for them

I can change them by
Time Travelling
I see nothing wrong with it
But I hope
I make the right choices the second time...

Should I love you
and send you an
blush of roses
or
just a box of chocolates
or maybe
just a simple card
expressing my deep desire
to love you for an infinity

Maybe

I could just hope to be loved
by you
and expect roses
and chocolates
or just a sincere card
expressing your love to me
for an infinity

But we both do know
that it won't happen
we are "forever alone" people
nothing good happens to us

so the end question becomes

should we love?
or
just wait to be loved?

Hard question that is.

Tonight
For once
We shall reside
in Heaven
and live for the eternity
and enjoy the bliss
of a friends company

Love each other
and combine souls
for tonight
We shall reside
in Heaven
and enjoy
the morning sunshine
and moonlight at dark

Tonight
We dance with each other
and learn about the other
love till the sun rises
for tonight
We reside in
Heaven

How did I not know about this?
Why do it from me?
Am I evil?!

Please tell me so...
It will relieve some curiosity
But hiding from me
That's not kind of you..

I hope you understand
But hiding something,
Will make me sadder

Tired of keeping everything
inside of me
this is annoying
and just wrong
in so many ways.

I would like to tell you
but i dont think i will be able to
because you are so perfect
in your own world
that i fear my intrusion
of problems and worries
will destroy your wonders
hence, i refuse to tell you
not about anything else either
just, the fact
that your wonderful world
will be in broken pieces
should i share my worries and problems

Its too much to keep inside though
and people tell me to get help from you
and i try
I honestly try
but.
I cannot bring myself to tell you about it
no matter the amount of persuasion
done by the girl i have a lot of crush on
it wont bring me to a conclusion
of sharing my distant and evil plans
with you and your wonderful world
that i occasionally peek into
to try to replicate

but, as previously said
I am unable to do it
because of my ineptness
of doing anything

Yes,
We danced tonight
I fulfilled my promise
Of a better dance
A better day
And a good time

I didn't know
I would do it like this
But I did,
And you enjoyed
You made me smile
For a whole night
Hugs and kisses
Slow dances
And beautiful company

Tonight
We danced in heaven
And enjoyed the company
Of the other
Smiled and laughed
And were hinted
By our friends
To dance,
So we did
And we danced
in
Heaven

Come.
Reside in me.
There is a void here.
There is no life here.
The doors are completely open.
But I don't remember keeping them open for you..

With your face covered in darkness
It is unforeseeable to look at my future
And yet.
You stand tall with your sword
On your left side.

You are not welcome here.
Thanathos
I never said I desire death.
Though I do, inside my head.
So leave.
Now.

We need to have
another word
for saying
"I am sorry for everything I have done"

It kind of gets repetitive
and then the meaning is forgotten

We need a new term

What can we do?
For the souls
lost in eternity?


*Nothing

I watched the sun.. set
It fit in so beautifully
Being bright orange
As if the world was
Using fireworks
At the same time

It was beautiful
Nature's beautiful
And so is everyone else in it..
In a way, I suppose

I haven't done
anything
that I like or love
in so long
it feels like an eternity

I don't know
and have forgotten
what it even feels like
being in love anymore
its that bad.

Do you still get butterflies
in your stomachs?
Does their image keep haunting you?
(In a good way)
What exactly happens anymore?

So lost,
and unloved
that I am feeling sorry for myself.

The matter starts with the way the country is
No blame going to anyone

You see
America has established itself
as a country that works forever
tires out, stresses things
which are unnecessary
The people work
till they fall down dead
figuratively
They aren't given as many
vacations
have to work, remember?!!?
This leads them to more stress
harms their health
creates a place which is unfriendly
where, you cannot show up
at someone's house without calling before
LIKE WHAT!
You don't do that in other countries
you just knock on their door
and they let you in and its friendly

America, oh noes
You have to call to let them know
you are coming over
its friends
its family
its supposed to be informal
they are part of you
they make you
they needn't take an appointment with you
to  meet  you

I find too many things wrong in America
Once I have noticed them
I cannot remove them
and just keep seeing more faults
It's not like something is wrong with me
No.
Not anymore.

It's the society now
They have to take blame for ******* over thousands of people
They manipulate you,
literally
It's about time that they take blame
for telling how
"America"
has to live and be a total working place

It shouldn't. Its just another country. Even Europe is better off!!

I have exhausted my topics, but in the end
its just that America might need to change
maybe, for the better

I know my voice will be unheard, but I want to express my opinion
now, I have finally realized.
I am fine, its the society
This new culture
This new standard of living

*This isn't for me.

Water dripping
drip.... drip...

No food
rumbling tummies

Everyone is sad...
Government can't do anything

People are jobless
Very close to today

**Why can't we do anything??

Today
At the park
I realized how wrong I had been about life
It is so wonderful
And so....
beautiful

I saw a person
walking their two dogs
I went biking
Talked to a couple of friends
It was just so..
different

I realize now
Why everyone tells me to cheer up
Its because
Of the beautiful world