Even now in the cold, I count on the days your eyes are a little bit more forgiving

Even now in the cold, I wait for you, and I know I should bury my sword already but I can't

I count down the days for something to happen, for anything to happen, I miss the myths you used to tell me
There are nights when the air grows stiff with silence, and even then my heart hurts half empty
and my knees still sometimes quiver at the sight of you and I know now that I should bury my sword deep into the ground, it has lost almost all its glory and I am tired of feeling heavy with it.
My mouth grows bitter thinking how you used to touch me like that, how you used to look at me like that and I feel like burning the pages of a book I've been written out of.
You are happy now, and you are without me.
And I have been trying keep my head up, I have been trying to not let my thoughts become daggers

**I do not wait for you anymore for your eyes have never even flickered forgiveness, your eyes have only reflected criticism.
I do not miss the lies you told me, or your burning tongue

The snow shimmers in the night, and the moon kisses my driveway endlessly, I have slept without interruption.
My fist grows red hot at the sight of you, it craves connection with your jaw.
I wrote you out of all my favorite lyrics, I am not bitter, I am honest
I am happy now, and you are without me.

All the love poems in the world wouldn't be enough.

what is it?
the feeling of being loved
and knowing that
they feel the same way
whether you are dressed
or not?

i was scared.
standing there
without a shirt
makes me quite nervous.
my body isn't exactly fit
whereas you look like the
most perfect ballerina.
its not a bad thing,
i just wish i would be
a bit more... flat.

i love my body,
i just have a few things that
i know i could change.
i could eat healthier,
maybe work out more.
drink some more water than
coffee. (i sure do love coffee)
and cut back a bit.

i want to feel comfortable
in my own skin.
i want to be able to
dress how i want
without the fear of the
dress sizes or
being called those terrible names
as i once was in my childhood.

i want to let you do
the things you want to me
without me feeling ashamed.

sooner or later,
ill be completely ready.
you'll have worthy lips to kiss and
a whole new world
to explore with your fingertips.

its like im in a hole. its really deep and dark
and looking up there is                              light
but its too far                            away                 .
i know i will  never  be  able to reach it. this
hole im stuck in.    it has windows so people
see me.    theyre looking at me but they cant
reach me.    they cant          touch               me
                        i can only just see their outline. i
walk around in circles walk around in circles
that is unless im just sitting. too tired to move
theres no way    out                too tired to live

"Why are you wearing shorts? It's cold out!"

Why?

I enjoy the way the chilled wind feels --
it makes me feel alive.
The way the goosebumps raise on my pale legs reminds me that I'm human...
Sometimes I just need a reminder.

My mind is occupied by you --
    you're always there, awaiting the dark nighttime to stir.
Flashes of your smile appear behind my eyes when they close.
Visions of your eyes haunt my thoughts.
Memories of your voice, reading your poems aloud...

I can't seem to focus anymore.
All I can ever think about is you.

    You've become quite the distraction.

But hey, who's complaining?