we both know it's over
but something
keeps us together

this friendship is dead
really can't be saved
but you made it clear
that you're gonna be here

thought you'd give me up
but i guess you care enough
to still be best friends
even though
we are near
the end
of us

so grateful for these three years
they really changed my life

i miss being 15
when i was me
when i felt pretty
when i was happy
when i was carefree
when life was in front
and my fears were at the back

past forward 6 years...
hello anxiety attacks
hello ana and the rest
goodbye happiness
hi sleepless nights
hello bottle in my sight
goodbye freedom of speech
hi insecurities
goodbye to feeling like me
hello to the society
who destroyed me
and all i was meant to be

i hate who i became
all that is the same
is my birth name

you say all the right things
that seep into my veins
you say it's all changed
but we still feel the same
i never forgot your texts
the moments i spent
trying to get out
of my comfort zone
just so i could
be the one
that you love
and adore

i miss how it used to be
but i wouldn't change the past
because you stuck around
when i needed you the most
and that means the world to me

i love you so much
never leave my side
without you
my life is worthless
i need your love
in order to survive
i need you
in order to smile
i need you
in order to cope
with every day life
you make life seem
so very valuable
you make life seem
so very beautiful

my collarbones don't show
my thighs don't have a gap
but i am trying so hard
to be proud of what i've got
even though i want to skip
every meal i put in my mouth
i am trying so **** hard
to love my body for what it is
it's a constant struggle
this disorder vs. me
still i am willing
to seek recovery
and be the winner
of this harsh battle
really am trying
to change my ways
but my thoughts
poison my mind
still, i am trying
to conquer
and win
against
this disorder
which makes me
do anything to be thin
society is a bad kind
of role model for us
it teaches girls that
size zero is better
than curves

used to see nothing but you
every time i walked outside
used to think of nothing but you
whenever 'our song' played
used to write about you
but hell, still i do
because i miss you
and how it used to be
we were once side by side
now we're barely here at all
the day i got lost in your love
was the day i lost myself
my self-respect, my pride
you became my world
you became my earth
you became a part
of my tragic heart
changed my outlook
on how i saw life
gave me a reason
to always smile
you made me happy
happier than i had ever been
and i became dependant
on our connection
as a source of inspiration
to keep going
to keep believing
to keep myself
from falling
worst thing is
it's all changed
we aren't us
this isn't you
this isn't me
we aren't a team
like we used to be
and it hurts so much
because i thought
true love conquered all
but unfortunately
love was my downfall