There are my demons
They revel in my flesh
Symbolic fiery beacons
Born from my angry, heartbroken mesh

No one can see the real me
But I just see myself
A dark man full of spiritual debris
In a bad state of mental health

I might be considered insane
But it’s really not me
They don’t really have a name
It’s the demons that reside in me explicitly

There are my demons
Filling me with rage, sorrow and gluttony
Burning internal heathens
That bring out the evil in me
But that’s what keeps me breathin’

We are driving
Down this never ending road
The truck as smooth as a ship
And in the dark
We are truly alone
The only ones left in the world

The road is light, and then dark
Then light again
But always never ending
If we ever do reach the end
We’ll find only doom and devastation
The end of the world

But for now, we are just 17
We are invincible, indestructible
The entire world is on its knees…

The crystal ship departs
Leaving me, alone, on these barren shores
Dark skies and devastation
I’m all that’s left

Salt air and soot fill my nostrils
Making them twitch
The freezing sea water splashes
Against my feet
The breeze lifts my hair and calms me

Snow begins to fall
Blending with the ashes
Like salt and pepper
I lay down in it, close my eyes
Take me back to reality

The kid is a ***
A triple platinum, bona fide loser
Jaded, he hides himself away
From love, from friendship, from family
******* away his talents and his time
Boozing and getting high
What a creep

Sleeping on his uncle’s couch
No job, no future, no friends
Drowning in despair and solitude
Doing nothing, not caring
Writing to keep from going insane
He hates himself
Even more than god does

It’s all in my head
These neon gods prancing
Naked around a fire in the desert
Everything burns

Within the fire
Is a man with a horse’s head
The god of the rain
His agonized shrieks fill the badlands

The fire will consume us all
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Everything will burn

And as the world burns down
We lay ignorant
Trapped by the bounds of reality
Take me
I’m ready to be consumed in flames

I sit on the bridge, legs
Dangling over the edge
Lit cigarette in my
Mouth. The dark, freezing water
Rushes by swiftly
The blistering heat pounds my
Neck and shoulders

Nicotine, heat, rushing water
Cool breeze on my face
Blue tobacco smoke drifting
Off in the lazy afternoon
All calms my troubled mind
If I jump will I be
Just another stick floating down the river?

I love your warm embrace
In the afternoon
When the sunlight plays
Across your golden hair
And the cool breeze
Traces our bodies intertwined
And carries your sweet voice

Your gentle kiss
Is the kiss of a goddess
And brings the utmost pleasure
A height of sensation
A mountain of passion
In you I find my other half
A true mirror of myself

I strike the match
The match strikes the cherry
And I inhale the smoke into these
Diseased lungs
My entire body relaxes
The cancer creeping in calms my mind
And sates my troubles soul

When I exhale
The blue, curling smoke drifts
Up in the sky
Towards a lonely moon
A little bit of life swept away with it
Perhaps to keep the moon company
Or to quicker bring my wretched life
To and end

Why do I destroy myself?
Does it matter? We all die in the end
Maybe the destruction makes it easier
And it still ends the same
Death
For life is a cancer
Perhaps the destruction keeps me breathing

Los Angeles, The City Of Angels
A place where the phrase
***, drugs & rock n roll
Comes to life

Where palm trees are abundant
And the sidewalk is covered in stars
Engraved with the names of Hollywood’s finest
And its mental wreckage

A place where dreams come true
An oasis in the desert
Sandy beaches, elaborate mansions
Trendy shops, expensive cars

Everything you could ever want
Is within an arm’s grasp
Whatever your fix is, it’s here
The true land of the lotus eaters

I am a ghost
Simply a hollow shell
Of my former self
I am not happy
Nor am I sad
Only numb, empty

With every heart break
Every betrayal
Every time the world came down
I lost a piece of my soul
Like a leech, every sorrow
****** the feelings out
Leaving me to stand alone against my demons
And no courage to fight them
No courage to live

So I drown myself
Narcotics, *****, cigarettes
Anything to make her face disappear
To put past friends behind
To forget the disappointment in my parents’ eyes
I just want to forget it all
And vanish from the face of the earth