I used to thirst for this
I used to lay awake at night never ending ideas on what I wanted to write
I used to have so much passion for this
I haven't written since October because any word I said would've been a lie
I've been in hibernation waiting for the passion and drive to return
But I feel as if I'm wasting my time
I used to speak to much now I talk to little
This winter has been harsh I feel like a dog in a kennel on the side of the road slowly freezing to death quiet because of lost  hope
I used to want this but this winters been harsh
not everyone made it
But the sun still shines
So I guess I better reevaluate my part
Taken before their time your memory forever in my heart and mind
The sun still shines and with is ends the hibernation of my mind

In the mist of a rainy fall morning the void has swallowed me whole again
tears stream down my face
My soul is bleeding and starving to death due to lack of faith
but a lonely demise awaits
I can't embrace my future while I'm still stuck in the past
self improvement is useless because I'll always be last
My smile is my headstone displaying happiness to the public while I continue to decay inside  out
lack of sleep
no will to eat
oh dear reaper
come sweep me off my feet
for I seek everlasting sleep

we could do anything
so we became *** addict junkies
college flunkies
working dead end jobs to survive
partying drinking always craving to be high

with sobriety comes anxiety
fear of failing
constantly called a freeloader of society
wasting away fighting to change
buried six feet deep in debts coffin
while starving on minimum wage

unable to find hope in the sky
depression strikes as the stars fall from the night sky
jaded

jaded feeling as the end of it all is nigh
blind masquerading bubble **** praising
mumble rap hailing
feeling trapped like mice about to die

members of a generation of wasted potential are you and I  
fighting to arise building battles cries only to die when the bills arrive

To live forever and never die rich men cry
Feebly unaware we all must pass on to what the afterlife bares
They seek potions and fountains galore setting aside family and happiness proclaiming "If i can make it so we never die well then connect and live our life" many have searched none succeeded lifetimes wasted love ones pleaded let this be a message for those that seek to never grow old true immortality truly lives in the memory and souls you help grow

Last night I had a dream that I made it to heaven
But when I awoke I was still in hell
Heaven is the dream
Hell is the reality
So then does our dream turn into our reality once humanity touches it
Dreams are the frail hope to keep us going make us feel alive
Reality is the aftermath the problems that come with our dream that never cross our mind
Humanity synonym is destruction because we crave for our self not others because were all so blind

Lost in the catacombs I wander aimlessly searching for a purpose yet only finding dark corridors and broken bones of the dead
I am jaded
I wonder
Did the dead ascend to the sky or are they trapped here in the catacombs to lie
I am jaded
These are my thoughts as I sleep
The catacombs forever eating away my mind
Soon to death I'll give my last breath once I find an end and a purpose
I awake and the dream ends