this thing between us reminds me of silence
once something is said, it’ll no longer exist

I’m the sun that brings warmth
That makes you feel alive

But I feel nothing from that

I want to be a black hole
Unknown, unpredictable
To matter

falling for you
is like wishing for rain on a sunny day

I want to wrap myself up in you
Get lost in your body and have you get lost in mine.

it is tiring
fighting the urge to grab your hand
seeing the curve of your sweet mouth and not being able to meet it with mine

I don’t need sweet nothings whispered to me.
Or grand gestures and gifts.

I just need to hear three little words.
If you catch my drift.

in those moments before you close your eyes and drift to sleep?
when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal?
when you wash behind your knees in the shower?
when you button your shirt up to the collar?
when you quietly come?

I hope you do.

in the cold light of day
I looked for my socks and clothes
removed quickly amidst the passion
I shouldn’t have come
But I did.

it’s heartbreaking,
nothing is permanent.

on the bright side,
nothing is permanent

I can’t stop the words from leaving my lips
but at the same time I can’t find the right words to say.

Than strangers that were once lovers.

Let you hold me too
Place my hand on your cheek
Look into your eyes
Kiss you softly

And then stop there.

you set something in me on fire
is it ***?
is it my soul?
is it my heart?

unsure, but I like it.

I could be yours
you could be mine

it's difficult to complain to you about anything
i didn't have to leave my country behind
i don't know what it's like to be hungry
i didn't start in a new country, where i didn't speak the language, all by myself at 14

but i know i also struggle
that my pain is real too
i wish we could share our pain and grow together in it

but i can't talk about it
to most people, never mind you
maybe i'm scared that my problems aren't big enough
or maybe i'm scared that saying them out loud confirms what i already know
that i'm broken

i feel like i know you and we've only just met.
i want to dive in deeper,
i want to let you see the dark and sad places in me.
to let you see the bright and shiny places too.

I want you.
To whisper my name.
To run your fingers through my hair.
To kiss the nape of my neck.
To lick me off your lips.

To allow me to live in your thoughts forever.

I want to get lost in something.
Forget where I am, forget how I’m supposed to be.
I want to get knocked over by waves.
I want to be drenched in the rain.
I want to feel it all but nothing at all.
I want to be insignificant.

sometimes I wonder what it’d be like to lie with another.

would I smell different?
would I breathe different?
would I sound different?
would I taste different?
would I feel different?

I only sometimes wonder though.

my mouth, lucky to repeat it.