I cannot understand why two halves make a whole. Yet, you and I don’t.

I cannot understand my cat wants kisses immediately after breaking my skin.

I cannot understand why I’m here and not falling down a hill.

I cannot understand why I have all the ingredients to make happiness yet it evades me.

but I remind myself
You’re not mine
Never was
What’s really slipping away
Is the possibility of us

that I love you?
I know it’s not practical or fair.
That our love could never break the surface.
That it’s roots be doomed to grow underground.
Hidden.

the words that wish to come out of my mouth
are slowly being held back by logic
my body aches wanting your kiss
it aches to feel the warmth of your hand

I see the world with such admiration and wonder. Imagine if I could save just a fraction of that love for myself?

I find myself not wanting to say goodbye.
Looking for ways to stay longer.
I can’t remember the last time I felt something just from fingers briefly touching.
I think I’d pass out if we shared anything more.

I can tell from personal experience
that type of love isn’t sustainable.
you can’t get lost in someone that deeply and still keep yourself.