Perhaps I hurt you bad yesterday
Perhaps I've hurt you a little today
Perhaps I 'll hurt you again tomorrow
Perhaps you are feeling hurt... now
... again

Perhaps you are just fine..
Perhaps you are not even hurt
Perhaps you don't care at all
Perhaps you are dancing with joy

Perhaps I have been hurt instead
Perhaps I have been fooled again
Perhaps...
Repeatedly...

A little love...

A little love
is all I ask for
am I asking too much?
A little love
is all I ask for
I shall rest in peace
A little Love
only your sweetness
a little Whisper of love
That is all
I've ever asked for
and that is all
I need...

All the time
I seem to be awake
Too scared to close my eyes
Put myself to sleep
a threat, unpredictable fear...

All the time
I hear laughters,
and I giggle...
I hear someone cries
and I weep non stop
I hear
shouts and screams
at inappropriate times
I hear whispers
Telling me to sleep
Telling me to wake up
I must have gone insane

All the time,
I can't get hold of myself
I must have looked silly
I must have fooled myself
I cant stop  people from staring...
Judging me in their heart

All the time
I hate myself
For this disability
Such a mental torture
A lifetime displeasure
When I  lost to Schizophrenia...

Noon when I started
Feeling dizzy
Strong waves hit the walls
in the stomach
exploding in any minute
I ran to the bathroom
Threw up everything
My tummy empty
Cool myself in shower
The water ran all over me
I could open my eyes
Shivering ... I couldn't see a thing
I crawled in the dark
Helplessly lying on the floor
staring at the ceiling fan
how fast it spins
How fast my world moves
I can't even think,
I can't even move
there's a fog in my mind
clouding  my brain
invisible hands choking my throat
My whole body is trapped
I am numbed
I am paralysed...

Waking up at dawn
Neither argue nor yawn
My child bathed himself
Joining his mom and dad
Waiting for the call of prayer

Performing 'Fajr' prayer
while the whole universe
rolling in deep sleep
But never does he frown
To wake up and pray at dawn

In the woods
I shall have a peace of mind
A calming atmosphere
Soothing the heart
and Free my soul

In the woods
The cricket sings
The birds chirp
The bees buzzing
Once in a while
a hooting sound...
Pleasant songs to my ears...

In the woods
Waking alongside
With the man I love
Holding hands
Laughing at silly jokes

Enjoying the woods
Smiling, Relaxing, Rejuvenating....

Waking up at the wee hours
For the sake of Allah
I wash and clean myself
I humbly worship god
Thats all I do
Everyday I pray...

I have been  asking too much
from him
Did he ever complain?
No... God has mercy
I keep asking day and night
Five times a day, sometimes more
For this and that.. I ask
Am I not ashamed?
A little perhaps
but I am humble...
I keep asking, keep wanting...
keep pleading, keep praying...
Keep worshipping...

I believe in him
Even when I don't see him
I trust him
Even when I don't hear him
I keep my faith
He is  the most  merciful,
the most compassionate
He sees me
even when I am hiding
He hears me
even when I am silent

I am not pure and perfect
to deserve god's heaven
but I fear the hell fire...
I could feel the blaze...
Dear God you are creator of everything
You are the guardian over everything
Protect me from evils
Guide me to heaven
I am only a human
Humbly I submit myself to you...