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 May 2013 Shannon Kelly
R
I know an infant
who came into this world
with a smile on her face
on the eleventh hour
of the eleventh day
of the eleventh month
bringing joy and happiness
to a day of sadness
and there were no tears
no screaming or confusion
just silence
and a look of wonder could be seen in her eyes
she was ready to start this wonderful world.

I know a child
who was the class clown
always ready to crack a new joke
or turn someone's frown upside down
she wished her baby fat would soon go away
but shrugged it off
'cause she knew it would some day
tears were only shed over scraped knees
and mom's soothing words
would set her at ease
no insecurities, no worries
she had her whole life ahead of her.

I know a teenager
who was no longer the class clown
but instead a shy girl
with very few friends still hanging around
she thought she was fat
(even though she was at average weight)
and felt different from the others
still laughing, still smiling
and the tears didn't fall
'til she was alone in her bedroom
but she stayed strong through it all
hoping that life would soon be better.

I know a young adult
who sits alone in class
stressed about choosing a career
for a future that she doesn't want to be a part of
she starves because she's fat
(even though she's below average weight)
wearing long sleeved shirts to hide the scars
that trail up and down her arms
friends mistake her fake smiles as happiness
oblivious to the desperation in her laugh
the façade wears off when she gets home
and her broken heart splits in half
while she wishes that her life would end.

But the thing is...

I know that infant
as if she was born yesterday
and I know that child
as if I saw her on the street an hour ago
and I know that teenager
as if I passed her in the halls today
and I know that young adult
as if she is someone I'll meet tomorrow

They are my past
my present
and my future
they are the person I was
the person I am
and the person I will be

*That girl is me and always will be
unless I find the strength to change reality.
 May 2013 Shannon Kelly
R
I remember the day when you said to me
the beauty of this world is under lock and key.
The ugliness and hatred is all you can see
and once a bird is caged, it'll never again be free.

But all your life you never did try
to spread your wings and learn to fly.
Nor did you look past the grief of war
to see all the peace we've been fighting for.

I remember writing a poem about an orange
though we all know nothing rhymes with orange
and after that I didn't write for a long time
since you said a poem's not a poem if it doesn't rhyme.

But all your life you never had a clue
of how to go above and beyond what's expected of you.
You weren't one of a kind, instead one of few
who settled for average and stuck to what you knew.

I remember sitting down for dinner with you
with my sushi rolls and pork moo-shu
and you said eating ethnic things
will not make me interesting.

But all your life you sat on floors
watching TV when you could be outdoors.
Eating pepperoni pizza and chicken wings,
never trying any new things.

I remember that time when you yelled at me
'cause I failed my first test on geometry.
Your face turned red as you grabbed hold of my head and said
"if you stopped your **** writing you might've passed math instead!"

But all your life you focused too much
on solving equations and numbers and such.
Your math mark went up but your english mark fell,
now you've forgotten how to solve for x and still can't even spell.

I remember when your words used to put me down
and I wore a bag over my head when it should have been a crown.
I thought I was nothing but I was wrong,
I guess I had just been listening to your lies for far too long.

See, all your life you felt insecure
because of the disappointment you felt when you looked in the mirror.
You spent too much time existing that you forgot how to live,
you've been drained of all happiness like flour in a sieve.

I have realized now that I need not feel bad
and no longer will I let your words make me sad.
You're the most ordinary person I ever knew,
and for that I pity you, I really do.
This is a complete work of fiction, however, I think it can be related to many people in this world unfortunately.
 May 2013 Shannon Kelly
Brooke
She gave her rabbit an ear infection
And she goes out of her way to step on ants,
She crashed her car into a deer
And she purposely doesn't water plants.

She won't put ***** dishes
In the dishwasher like she should,
And she prefers not to write thank you notes
But if she does they're never good.

She wastes paper because she wants to
Not because she doesn't realize she's doing so,
She leaves the bathtub running for a second too long
Just to watch it overflow.

She argues with professors when she disagrees
And she'll do it in front of a class,
She hasn't learned just yet how
To speak to anyone without sass.

She says mean things to babies
In the sweetest sounding voice,
If she's helping someone make a decision
She'll encourage the wrong choice.

She's good at what she does
So she refuses to discuss
That she's not a good person,
But honestly...

...she's better off than any of us.
I told you to Lend me your lips
and I'll teach you what love is, I said
I'll let my eyes become your moon
if you'll lend me your collarbones
so I can use them to build a bridge
to the mountains inside my heartstrings

Love, I wrote you an anthem
for all the nights you made my knees sing
and I swore on every dying man's last breath
that I would never change the tune of that song
I was a fool for letting you love me
I knew I would break you in
You told me in life we can't always win
but I thought we were
Because winning was found in the mornings
when your skin looked like feathers under lamplight
and nights when your eyes glistened from that red wine
and I swore I would never let you drink it with anyone else

I told you I couldn't catch a break
and you told me life wasn't a baseball game
I don't have to catch anything
but oh did I ever want to catch you like a firefly
in my glass heart
The day you left I whispered that I would never stop writing you poems
you were always giving me inspiration
You still are

Yesterday I breathed a ghost out of my lungs
and I swore the cigarette smoke could fill up the sky
I thought maybe you'd see my signal fire
telling you it's time to come home
Telling you it's time to listen
time to listen for the last night
When you pressed your cheek against mine
and told me not to call
and I thought the words were poison dripping from your mouth
I was screaming but nothing was coming out
and I knew I couldn't live another day the same ever again

Because now that you're gone
my lipstick can't even stick right
and my sonnets are words numbed by hopelessness
and this poem is a poem I never wanted to write
You were right here standing over my shoulder
just a few weeks back
I have no idea where I lost track of the time
but it's gone
just like you
 May 2013 Shannon Kelly
Madeline
last night i was filled with poetry -
filled to the brim, and now i'm not.
last night i was filled with pain and life
and with the joy of knowing things,
and now i am ordinary.
last night i wrote,
"he taught me how to bruise
before i bleed,"
on a slip of paper.
i knew what to do with the words then but
now i don't.
i have no poem to slip them into and
no storyline to follow them and
i can't even turn them into a painting.
they sit and they stay
and they stare at me and remind me
that i am not a writer, because i don't write when i most need to.
 May 2013 Shannon Kelly
Madeline
alison, sweet and strong,
if ever there was a person built for such a thing, it's you.
it's the goodness of your heart
and the constancy of your smile -
it is your kindness, your cleverness,
and your mother's love?
it will stretch past this life and into her next.
it will find you and it will hold you.
mothers and daughters, they are never gone from each other -
it is a bond ages and ages old,
lifetimes upon lifetimes and centuries upon centuries
and it doesn't end with someone's life.
she will find you, her mother's-light,
because surely you are what she loved the most -
it's your goodness,
your boldness, your beauty.
you strong and beautiful girl,
don't you know it?
not one step of this will be taken alone.
Brown little can resting on restless wheels
Waiting to carry me away,
Paint peeled  like every bit
Of my sense of security
I’m in fear of everything,
Of leaving my dreams and sense of identity
Of all the screams that play in
My day dreams,
In echoes off the vacant caverns in my chest
Little fists clenched and weary
Longingly staring at pavements passing
Wishing to wake, to cry to break
The silence with this tremendous
Confusion,
Refusing to let blond feathered hair out of my sight,
Like he might just disappear
Drop into distance like everything else
I have ever known, that’s ever grown inside of me,
I will hide him,
In fake smiles, in hand holding,
I will hide him from fathers breaking cry’s
The first tears spilt over old scars
From his crippled heart.
I will tell him I love him so much
There will be no room for my wounds
He will have no space for the vast expanse of
Pain of mistrust and the awful nothingness.
Everything is gone, the world is the inside
Of this car hurdling through space with no destination,
I am holding the weight of the world on
My frail little shoulders and I hold it.
I only break under the weight of his sad eyes
glacial blue gray where my hope drowned
and my childhood dies. There is no safe part in me.
I’m sorry
I’m so sorry
Gravity:
What goes up,
must come down.
That's what Science tells us.

And though I've never felt
the need to understand things,
only people,
I find myself circling around the
concept of gravity,
and how well it plays with
eastern ideology, with death.

After the spirit ascends,
It must come, crashing, back down
to Earth.
Sparking against the surface
as a new soul, a new way of being.

I've always been told
to read between the lines,
and maybe I've been treating my textbook
like a work of fiction,
but what if gravity is just
a metaphor for obsessive affection,
and reincarnation it's very
toxic enabler?

What if we're just stuck
in limbo, until the Earth
learns how to let us go?
 Apr 2013 Shannon Kelly
Amelie
First you try and create the mood,
A quiet and peaceful atmosphere
Give us more romance than you should,
Find your inner voice, calm and clear.

Then your hands on the piano
Should look like the wings of a butterfly
Tell us about that girl you know,
Tell a story that would make us cry.

Just write a love song,
With stupid clichés and stupid romance
Make us sing along,
And give us the chance
To fall in love tonight.

Try to remember about
All the chances you missed
And what hurt the most in your past
And all those goodbye kisses ;

Turn those memories into
A stupid song with a stupid name,
Like "That girl I thought I knew",
And don't come back with no fame.

Just write a love song,
With stupid clichés and stupid romance
Make us sing along,
And give us the chance
To fall in love tonight.

And here we go, you're on stage,
The crowd listens to you.
Locking your heart away in a cage,
Locking away everything you knew.

Sing with your own voice the painful words
That couldn't get out of your throat ;
Admit your feelings to that special girl,
Or don't say anything at all...

Just write a love song,
With stupid clichés and stupid romance
Make us sing along,
And give yourself the chance
To fall in love tonight,
For the last time.
Cigarette between your
lips, smoke around
your face,
you are an angel.
You cloud your eyes with
depth and drink, and
coat your lips
with ash,
stale-**** breath in
your lungs.
You are not
bad, but the
goodness inside of you is the
size of an
ember from your
last cigarette.
You are tar and
toxins, hidden beneath the
sickly sweet tang
of nicotine.
You were intoxication,
a drink I abused because I
couldn't forget the taste.
You are a drug inside my
body, flowing through my
blood stream,
poisoning my veins.
You were never
good for me, but I
enjoyed the sickness,
the sweat,
the illusion that I
was a light you wouldn't
burn out.
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