Some men sleep
Some men dream
I am stuck in between
Night and day
Find no rest
Painful pounding in my chest
Tomorrow is a
Heinous Word
Last night's whispers will be heard

Some men sleep
Some men scream
I am somewhere in between
Time slips out
Beyond my grasp
I cry out in but a rasp
She calls my name
From in the dark
Bleeding, screaming, dreaming Lark

Is there blood behind your smile?
Sit with me and drink a while.
Can you find the brightest star?
Run with me, we'll go far.
What day is the last you'll stay?
I will do what you say.
Is there love inside that shell?
Don't cry dear, we're far from hell.
Can you stop all your laughter?
I'll be with you, now and after.
Why does it have to end?
**** me now, to be your friend.

So wound up like a spring
Shout when I want to sing
Fear turns to rage and back
Night is bright and days are black
Chemical storms shut up the sound
The cackling madness of the hound
One wounded dog a-yelping
Pills, liquor, sleep not helping

Laugh in the dark
Before the morning
Sing by the lark
Better than snoring
Tuesday is gone
But so is Tomorrow
Dead on the lawn
T' everyone's sorrow

Madness grabs hold of me
Fog drifts through my ear
Nothing can wake me
Dead on my feet

There must be a real reason
No suffering without cause
Frustrates me to wonder
Can't cut the veil

Maybe I was a murderer
My soul feels so aged
Mischief might follow it
Sins of my heart

Sleeping is like burning
Waking brings drowning
Sweet rest must hide
In somebody's bed

I slink into a suit
A new skin
All scaly and serpentine

I hop into the car
A new beast
It growls and thunders away

I stride into the room
A new throne
The kingdom of my desires

I stumbled away
The farm house, the poor house
I left the dirt, I climbed the mountain

I fly today
The pent house, the big house
Today the world, Tomorrow you heart

******* world
I've got a new shirt
And ten dollars
My father never dreamed
I'd beat his record
Of "biggest *******"
This chip on my shoulder
Has bent my spine
And now I'm crooked
Just a con man
Like the daddy
I never knew

On the precipice of disaster,
He waits with a smirk
"What more could you ask for?"
He's the world's biggest ****

No man knows his dark reasons
He walks without grace
"I'll die and live as the Seasons."
There's no beauty in his face.

Near to death but not yet done
He runs closer to Fate
"I live on wind, earth, and sun."
He seethes lies and hate

Adorned in stolen wits and charm
He falls into Hell
"No man or beast can do me harm."
His words a tide and swell

There's a sick bitterness
In getting what you want
And a loving tenderness
In the chase and the hunt
But I can't be too upset
At the havoc I have wrought
I knew before the bet
What it was I had bought

You could just lie
You'd get done faster
shut up, shut up
You could just cry
They'd buy it quicker
be quiet, be quiet
You shouldn't try
You'd have free time
quit it, quit it
You might just fly
You have to jump
I can't, I can't
You just can't die
You should smash it
Leave me, Leave me
You are mine
You can't escape me
*I will, I must

Don't want anyone
Solo, almost good enough
A warm bed is nice

So many years
Shaking in fear
Going for want of sleeping
Now I sit up
Whiskey filled cup
Not knowing how to rest
Demons inside me
Sleepless and hiding
No sleep for them either
**** this mess
Gave it my best
Pills will guide my head

I am an honest man.
I love to be alone.

As he sang,
"Ain't nothing wrong with doing wrong"
I felt my stomach jump
I love the sound of the song
But I always believed
A man can't find any piece of mind
When he runs all-day-long
Sowing sorrow
With his hands

But the words,
"Ain't nothing wrong with doing wrong"
Aren't to cheer the liar
Cherish instead, the secret
The taboo and rude
A man can live outside the norm
Throwing norms
To the winds

I can taste whiskey
And a bit of Soda-pop
When I get scared

Fluid swapping
Touching and Grabbing
And Starry eyes
You call it 'love'
I call it reproduction
I don't want to see
The way generations
Form up each decade
Keep your mating
Behind closed doors
Including the dating
The mating-call-dance

I say stupendous things
To scream out silly feelings
A writer, or artist, or ***
But you won't hear nothin'
I'll breathe and die it all
Rutted in my own words
These are my thoughts
Nothing gives me pause
No cause, no reason,
No season of giving will part me
From each little catastrophe
Greedy, I ****** each little grub
Seedy, my thoughts ache and rub
Against the only barrier I have
The skull that protects my stash
A poor man has but words and spit
I've got more, but don't give a ****
I'd throw away a kingdom of gold
to reclaim the last piece of my soul
Because I love my thoughts where they are
Since they can never run away very far
And I like stagnation to go with
My sweet libations
Ravings of writer, artist, or madman
I'll never be the one that had them
These are my treasures
Each is counted, each is savored

I grew up on fairy tales
I thought it would happen
Like a rain in the summer

No one tells the child
That things don't happen
If you stay indoors a lot

The end never comes
Each new chapter is forever
But then the epilogue is here

How do you begin a love story
Should it start with "At the bar"
I thought "In the rain" sounded best

I never wanted romance
I only wanted you
I waited in the rain

Is this Boredom?
Or merely Insanity?
Can you find me,
Or is that in Vanity?
Tomorrow won't come again
But Today will be forever
The future isn't mine to have
It's only yours to treasure.

Ideas Rampant; Lies Abound
I am Satan's Favorite Hound
Kicked and Beaten; Shaved and Sheared
Nothing knowing but what is feared

Born with blood instead of Soul
I was first to dig the hole
Churning lies to spread on bread
My small voice makes smiles dead

A thrown away writing
1st Draft, Maybe Last
A poor piece of rhyming
Burned up, gone fast
The last thought given
and the worst one yet
It's me you speak of
Melancholy's 1st pet

I'm a real work of Art
The first of my kind
A man without substance
An echo for a mind
Just sizzle, no steak
and no greater wish
than to be still, not quake
And swim like a fish

A grey and black world
is a boy's best friend
No cares or worries
Until boyhood ends
A world of color
Is all a man wants
When all he can have
is grey and black haunts

I had such conviction, such passion
But it all came from hate
A man of words, not action
More about stuffing my face
I laid still and died once
Just running from fate
I fell over and cried once
Just to change up the pace
This boredom is numbing
And numbness is boring
I'll soon start to slumber
Or maybe start *******
Pitter patter, the lone raindrop
And it doesn't give one ****
If only I was a raindrop
If only I had such luck.

That electric hum
The fans blowing heat
Painful white light
The gloom that cascades
Surrounding the beacon
Which keeps my mind
Away from its worries
Static Drug and Cyber Dealer
Life line for my sanity
Lethal injection for my bravery

Bananas taste nice.
I cannot recall what I was...
Is today Tuesday?

The veil draws ever clearer,
easier to see through,
but still like a mirror
I can see through and also see myself
I wonder if it reflects or just shows the truth

The veil draws ever thicker,
harder to get past,
but still like water
I can not go through
and I can only skim the surface
I wonder if it is a wall or only a window

The veil draws ever larger,
spanning a greater pass,
but still within reach
I can not go around it but I can touch it
I wonder if it guards forever or just until I leave it

The distance between myself and the world could hardly be thicker
I cannot contemplate coordinating careful countermeasures consciously
I could cleverly, cunningly, calculate and collaborate clear contingencies
But my mind makes my misery mighty methodically, minute by minute
And it renders rapid renunciation of ridiculous rhythm and rhyme rather reticent
What remains are repugnant renditions wrapping where real attempt once sat

The veil is upon me
closer than my senses,
I cannot get outside it,
but I can speak through it
I wonder if its helping or hurting

I'm not happy all the time, but I am content.
I'm not sad all the time, but I am gloomy.
I'm not angry all the time, but I am frustrated.
I'm not surprised all the time, but I am disoriented.
I'm not infatuated all the time, but I am smitten.
I'm not groggy all the time, but I am tired.
I'm not weak all the time, but I am deficient.
I'm not strong all the time, but I am mighty.
I'm not brilliant all the time, but I am clever.
I'm not insane all the time, but I am unbalanced.
I'm not pious all the time, but I am devoted.
I'm not ambitious all the time, but I am driven.
I'm not lazy all the time, but I am relaxed.
I'm not stressed all the time, but I am tense.
I'm not making sense all the time, but I am trying to explain myself
I'm not a great listener all the time, but I am trying to understand
I'm not, but I am

Can you hear what I am saying?
Will you sing while I am braying?
Will you run in fear and terror?
Will you find my eyes the fairer?

Can you see what I am doing?
Will you stop my poison brewing?
Will you scream and find a hero?
Will you weep and call me zero?

Can you save my heart from burning?
Will you stop your clever learning?
Will you give into the fire?
Will you laugh and call me liar?

Here's the secret you've been after
It's all madness behind my laughter
There's no end to this black
My heart's all sunder, rend, and crack

Here's the beginning and the ending
My will's all gone, my mind is bending
Run and hide, Go find shelter
I'll be screaming, helter-skelter

Here's the last breath I'll be breathing
My heart's filled with what you're seeing
This is not the outer-layer
I'm not wiser, stronger, braver

Torpid emotions are for children
I'm a man, *******
*******, or **** me
But don't play games
I'm going to die young and fast
So keep it simple sweetheart
Or it's on to the next one

There's this echo in my head
It's screaming oh-so-loud
Can't make out what is said
Thoughts are in a shroud

There's this echo in my head
It's screaming oh-so-loud
There's this echo in my head
Overwhelming my mind

There's this echo in my head
There's this echo in my head
It fills my days and nights
There's this echo in my head

And now there's little left
There's this echo in my head
There's this echo in my head
There's this echo in my head

Alice whispers to me
The name of my hard-drive
With headphones in
And no sound playing
The little beeps
and fuzzy rasp
Reminds me of
Dear conversations
In a hushed murmur
About silly things

It's always the same
The same friends surround me
The same books fill my shelves
I meander down the same streets
I drift towards the same women
It's always a brunette
Probably brown eyes, but maybe green
Soft-heart-ed but with a sharp tongue
Some obsession that puts me second
Probably the same favorite food
If I'm not programmed,
I'm **** unlucky

I'm most fun angry
I'm least fun in love
People say I have an issue
No one speaks about me clear
I can't prevent my own failure
I can't say I'll never rescind

Now I'm successful
Despite my failings
Jealous is an ugly color
Everyone wears it near me now
I can't stop my own deception
I can't speak about my sins

I will always be trying to become my hero, but better
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to become your hero, but real
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to become everyone's hero, but honest
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to become my mother's hero, but reliable
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my brother's hero, but clean
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my buddies' hero, but caring
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my heroes' hero, but recent
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my father's hero, but smarter
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my dead grandfather's hero, but young
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my country's hero, but benevolent
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my friends' hero, but strong
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my church's hero, but open-minded
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my love's hero, but brave
II will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be the cynic's hero, but charming
*I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though

I'm attracted to sad eyes
Not sunsets or a pretty dress
The look of pain and loss
But only in the past

Its the empathetic heart I crave
Beating softly in broken cave
Chest bruised from heart-removal
Something close to what I know

There's beauty in symmetry
Particularly when its hidden
A smile at the lovely lips
And a tear in the sad eyes

Another false face, serial lies
Hiding truth of failures scars
A reflection on quality built
I love the look of sad brown eyes

I howl when the moon comes out
It sounds like a kicked dog
But I love it

I run in the moon-lit woods
Or over the side-streets
I can't give it up

I chase the scent on the wind
Or the music down the alley
It's close enough

I run alongside my brothers
In a video game online
I miss the wood

I sleep surrounded by my pack
I lie down alone in my bed
It's not the same

I wake with no one there
I roll over and sleep
A boy without his dog

A crooked smile
And half again the nose
Nature's best gifts

But I've got wit
And half again the charm
Nurture's best gifts

Fear spreads like a chill
It ripples over my spirit
The way the autumn wind makes my body quiver

Fear infects what heals me
Sleep turns into torment
It's sweet embrace offers shallow solace

Fear makes rest strenuous
Nightmares find my weaknesses
My soul is shredded instead of sewn

Fear caresses my madness
If I take the sweet ******
I risk finding the dwelling of my terror

Fear grapples with need
I am addicted to sleep
With more ferocity than nicotine or alcohol

Fear is strong at night
The darkness feeds it
The infinite space gives its vastness advantage

I used to cower
Hidden in the dark
Stalking the night
Loneliness a shroud

Fear is a weakness
Sadness is a flaw
Lies I thought true
Paralyzed my maturity

Diseases are nasty
They give you marks
Or break your bones
Or slit your pretty throat

No one even whispers
Mental Illness is taboo
If your head isn't gashed
There is no wound there

Illness, not weakness
Don't laugh at the wheelchair
Don't scoff at the pill bottle
I refuse to be ashamed

When the moon is full
My body, heart, and mind
Weary, tired, dull
Peace is yours to find
Restless, violent soul

An insensitive beast
Might be all I am
An incorrigible *****
Is the best you are

Two winds in a storm
Not knowing or thinking
Just flowing straight past
Good riddance to it

Life is easier,
with love
But love is easier,
without romance

Quiet solitude
Sanctimonious and Holy
A hermit in the wind

Life goes on
without you
But you are fun
to have around

Private horror
Ceremonial Cloistering
Old man at Twenty-Three

The trick is
To never ever ever
Ever ever ever ever
Tell someone
The trick to life
Wait...
Crap.

No one will tell you
Being "deep" has a diminishing return
After a while you're just
Cynical
Self-Absorbed
Pompous
Eccentric
Because you've gone too far
Shallow people don't want "deep"
They just want "deep-er"

Truly insightful people,
Great minds and intellectuals
Won't tell you the other part
About how if you keep digging
You'll go too deep
For anyone
Even you
And you'll bust the bottom out
And the whole **** well
Will spill out

And then you're nothing
Just an echo.