There are mountains on my back,
and it hurts like hell to carry them.
I was supposed to only climb...
but I never really was one for climbing.

I wish that I could bring you back,
to that one point in time.
So that I could kiss your forehead
and tell you it'll all be fine.

To hold your hand in mine,
and wipe away your tears.
But when I reach out to find you,
All I can grasp is my deepest fear...

The fear that you're gone.
The kind of gone that you can't come back from.
I blame it on myself,
and drown it all in ***.

You would have been here
when I broke my own heart.
You wouldn't have done what I did,
you wouldn't have let me part.

I betrayed you.
And now I need you.
But all I have is your tombstone
and I fear my life has taken on a dark hue.

I want to touch your face,
be there for each other one last time.
Now all I can do is pace
and wish I was there to say goodbye.

What is depression?

Well...

It's not always so obvious.
Depression hides

It's staying up until 4 a.m
without a reason.

Depression is crying until your pillow is soaked
without really knowing why.

When your heart is hurting so bad,
you can FEEL the pain in your chest.

It's not always a knife
dragged on once pure skin.
Depression isn't the cut,
it's the darkness that hides within.

It's knowing that one day you'l be happy,
but not knowing if you'll get there in time
to save yourself
to save your mind.

Depression is hoping you'll be okay,
but not believing happiness is in your future.

It's wanting to cry out for help
but not knowing what you need help with.

It hides in anxiety,
and shows itself in smiles.
It'll lie to your face
and you'll believe it.

We all do.

I roll over in the mornings,
and your face is no longer there.
I reach out to touch what used to be,
but my fingers are greeted by empty air.
When I pull the blankets up,
there's a hint of your once lively cologne.
And now, when I'm cold at night,
I pull the comforter up to my nose, so I'm not alone.

i hate this stream of consciousness style
like nothing i write
has meter
rhythm
or rhyme.
it’s just my thoughts on paper
all jumbled up;
not even i can make sense of it.

Do you want to know how you broke my heart?
You played with it until it fell apart.
You took it in your hands,
and then you took it to your advantage.

When you were please or satisfied,
you'd leave it alone to die inside.
When you were angry or mad,
you threw it away with everything you had.

Our love was just a bunch of leases,
you folded my heart until I couldn't iron out the creases.
You make me feel like I deserve this abuse and pain,
but you know what? I still what to try again.

The beating of my heart thumps like a song,
It's broken and it's shattered,
but i know it's never wrong.
My words are heartbreak poured into letters;
the poems and stories leak like music,
sometimes violent and sometimes in patterns.
You may think because I left, I don't care.
But through moonlight sonatas to ripping earth quakes,
I'd love you anywhere.
You were hurting me in ways beyond just fighting.
Forget your words, just your mindset alone
rips through my body like blue lightning.
I hope we'll come back together anyway,
you're better than this and I know it.
I was brought up to know in any storm, to have faith.