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It's so hard right now. Listening to footsteps, always thinking it's you.
Hearing the rain drizzle outside. It gives me less hope to survive. Your heart gave me the will to survive even though all i got was warning signs.
You used to tell me that all you were going to do was hurt me.
I shouldn't ever love you because all you would do is burn me.
It never became clear that what u were saying might actually be true.
I just thought it was a cliche saying, a weird twisted way of saying i love you.
 Sep 2014 Sequoi devare eley
1487
You don't want me,
anymore.
the saddest words I've ever wrote
Your heart hides behind a wall much taller than me.
Fear makes your voice shake.
I can sense it.

You want to love something delicate, something fragile.
But too afraid that you will destory it in the end.

So your mind tosses and turns.
Back and forth with the idea that these feelings are real.
That maybe you could feel human again.

And with every good thought, there are two bad ones after.
That you're a monster in disguise.
Just for a little bit.

And maybe if you gave yourself the time of day...
You could see that your heart is actually beating.
Defrosting from the past.

I wish you would accept the love you give
and the love you could receive.
Because deep down I know you're wishing for something brilliant.
Something that hasn't happened, at least not yet.

Take her hand before it fades into a memory.
Make this moment worth it.
She's worth the try.
You're worth it, without a question.
i told you not to make
   me the anchor that tames you down
   whenever you feel like you're
       drowning again;
you promised not to look at me
   as if I'm the sun and you haven't
   tasted the light in such a long
   time inside all the frigid darkness
       you’ve enveloped yourself in;
you said you won't cling on me
   like the attachment a flame has
   on all the cigarette sticks you perpetually have
   between your lips, waiting, until each fire coughs up
        its last smoke;
       (it wasn't long before I
          coughed mine.)

i told you, i told you, i told you,
     the I wouldn't stay long—
     that I wanted to lessen the damage
     that I'll inflict on you; so I made you
     promise and
you promised, you promised, you promised,
     that you'll never depend on me
     as if I'm the only person who can ignite your soul
  
but you didn't keep your words
    and I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I kept mine

    *—L.m
written on Sept. 10, 2014
I want to say...
but not the words to be heard
maybe only my mind to be read
because I feel the need so deep
to scream out the secret I keep.
when there was nothing bright
you came out like a sun
in my sky.
when there were always lows
you bound a spring to my toes
and made me leap high.
you were always there
when i needed utmost care
you are the only angel
i hold in my heart
and can't even tell you
about the demons in there
fearing you would fly
i hold you captive
but....
i feel it's all
worth a try.
#Selfishness #love #Feelings
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