You say you don't know,
you pretend not to see
When your vision is obscured
by a reluctance to believe
You claim it's me,
who's in the wrong
When we've both been broken
for far too long
You say you're seeking a bed
A shelter from the storm
Whilst ignoring my arms open
And hands so warm
You imagine I'm lost
Lamenting, feeling blue
When you're 100% right
(but I'm not telling you)
I'd rather die
Than suffer your "sorries"
I've rather drown
in water than worries
I'm sick of the script
So tired of the lies
I'm using emotional scissors
To sever these ties

imaginary lines form
people feel like ghosts
wandering around halls

the love of life
you don’t seem to be real
upheld
unwanted
this sprit grows weak

my love you are imaginary to me

if I am to reach for you
I know my hand to pull through
To touch on the other side

the things you say are my minds truths
And truths I cannot
you are only apart of me
never to be your own
I am all consuming
my thoughts are all I know

Thoughts of prestige
Actions of moral
Memories lost
Time gained
All have failed
All have lied When forming

Words from thought
Thought from emotion
Emotion from internal reaction
Internal reaction from physical reaction
Physical reaction  formed from another’s reaction
As the process repeats in backward loop

To denounce your ego fully is an impossible
But as we catch it from time to time
to rip it down for even a moment
Is
to be beautiful
It will come back within the realizations that you just saw
it undermines it all
you are.  
is ego
All you exist in.
is ego
how you use this
how you process ego is to truly live with out
You will never be rid of something apart of you

Stop taking in the tones of Gods
Stop thinking
Stop creation

To destroy ego
Death my very well be that libration

To work with ego in harmony
To exist knowing you’re a flaw
To love being a flaw

I am evil
I am good
I just,..I am  
I can look to this to feel all
To play with this

You must not try to dismiss or disown any part of
“you”
Not even understand But to harmoniously cycle with ones self

A life unknown a life unwanted
Rip me down and feed me to time
My bones dusk entering
Mind
a lake in witch all creatures swim

I do not feel you in my heart-
that which drums on endlessly
and dull, devoid of most art,
struggling in spineless pulse
to find hemo-globe and not a hearse.

Sometimes I do not even feel my chest
hurtling blood into my veins
though I'm sure it rushes, while I rest,
at near hundred miles a minute-

No, i do not feel you pound in my heart.
I only feel you in my lungs,
breathing steadily through my nose
or heavy by my tongue-
you rush through my neck,
you rise and fall in all my bronchi--

and soft you travel in my body.

With the mind
turning and twisting
in the agony of a heart
squeezed dry like a sponge with despair
I pace to and fro
in a bedroom's dimly lit silences
as a caged animal
hungering and thirsting
for the scent of a liberating oasis.

I have loved the world countless times
I've fallen for the same sun
Each day that it rises again.
I can't help but see the potential
In anything that could posses it.
And I love the feeling of loving.
Of holding the warmth of someone else
inside your soul.
Like a cozy blanket
And a warm mug of comfort

I've taken a lot of happiness
And broken it into a struggle
only because I refused to believe
that happiness wasn't there.
Or, at least not for me.

So now I've lost the ability
To trust myself
I can't trust myself to feel genuinely
When I have spent my life convincing myself to feel
Potentially genuine feelings.

I'm hoping this time it's different
Than all of the times before
When it was different.
I'll finally use that memory of mine
To tell me what my future holds
So that I can avoid it at all costs.
But I won't avoid you.
I trust you to force me
Into a genuine happiness

I know the difference between need and want
And you're the strangest mixture.

I don't know anymore if I'm real
If this is real
I don't know if my memories are real
either, really.

So let's hope.
Let's hope I'm really me
and you're really you
and we really do mingle
like the gold and pink
of the setting sun
So beautifully
Because you really are
a wonder.
And I really am hoping.

You say the sun shines just for me
But the moon with its majestic glow—  
It lingers through the starless nights
and patiently awaits the morning,
bringing peace among all who meets it,
Just for you.

You aren't another mug of comfort
and a cozy blanket—
You're a home.
You're a fitting piece to massive complication
You are the sigh of contentment.

And this time,
This time,
I've been falling for the moon
each night it rises again.

I have given this a lot of thought,
and soon I will tell the truth,
the girl you see before you,
isn't the girl you thought you knew.
She is shattered like the mirror glass,
and lying open on the floor,
the girl you once loved,
has ceased and is no more.

She is replaced by another Spirit,
that was created after years of hurt and pain,
she was broken and came undone,
has nothing in this life to gain.