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Oct 2013
I have loved the world countless times
I've fallen for the same sun
Each day that it rises again.
I can't help but see the potential
In anything that could posses it.
And I love the feeling of loving.
Of holding the warmth of someone else
inside your soul.
Like a cozy blanket
And a warm mug of comfort

I've taken a lot of happiness
And broken it into a struggle
only because I refused to believe
that happiness wasn't there.
Or, at least not for me.

So now I've lost the ability
To trust myself
I can't trust myself to feel genuinely
When I have spent my life convincing myself to feel
Potentially genuine feelings.

I'm hoping this time it's different
Than all of the times before
When it was different.
I'll finally use that memory of mine
To tell me what my future holds
So that I can avoid it at all costs.
But I won't avoid you.
I trust you to force me
Into a genuine happiness

I know the difference between need and want
And you're the strangest mixture.

I don't know anymore if I'm real
If this is real
I don't know if my memories are real
either, really.

So let's hope.
Let's hope I'm really me
and you're really you
and we really do mingle
like the gold and pink
of the setting sun
So beautifully
Because you really are
a wonder.
And I really am hoping.

You say the sun shines just for me
But the moon with its majestic glowβ€”  
It lingers through the starless nights
and patiently awaits the morning,
bringing peace among all who meets it,
Just for you.

You aren't another mug of comfort
and a cozy blanketβ€”
You're a home.
You're a fitting piece to massive complication
You are the sigh of contentment.

And this time,
This time,
I've been falling for the moon
each night it rises again.
Selena Irulan
Written by
Selena Irulan  San Diego, CA
(San Diego, CA)   
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