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Selena Irulan Jun 2013
I know it’s too early for manifestation
But you truly are my new infatuation
Days have passed as the time has gone by
I’m so happy to call you
The one
That catches my eye

I don’t know you that well
But I know
Enough to show;
you make me smile,
Just thought
I would let you know
We don’t talk very often
Everytime we do
I feel like 11:11
And you’re
My wish come true

Maybe its cause
You’re so far away
Yet sill so close
And when you
Make time for me
I appreciate it the most
A text, even a call
Does somethin for my heart
You got me feeling ahead of things
When we didn’t
Even start

A kiss would be
Too much to ask for
When we talk, I studder
Just to make

the moment

Last more
I was trapped
in my own
And you found me

oh you’re
So kind
So sweet
So pure

I know it’s too early for
But you definitely are my new infatuation
One day I hope
You and I can make
Eachother better
Until that day
I’ll just be praying
That you get this letter

With Love,
Someone that wants to love you
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
People misinterpret the meaning of life. Like the word love tossed back and forth. Honestly, i don't think anyone knows the true meaning of love until they're willing to give their life to someone else and switch the glove. Well, there aren't many people with an open mind concept left. Generation after generation pass down false hope, that love is just a word under oath .The question is are you ready for real love ?
Selena Irulan Jul 2013
i fell in love with you the first
day i met you, it's kinda of crazy
awful and deadly
We ended up bad but that's the past
Move on its over you aren't crazy
i remember your beautiful brown eyes, white smile,
and extraordinary laugh
We laughed all the time like it
Would always last
i loved when you put your hands around
my waist
Made me feel like i was yours all day
Even though i knew i wasn't
the only one
You ****** up but i guess that's bad luck
I told you i loved you
it was true
Good music, good vibes
and you
Too bad it didn't last, i'll never
Find someone like you
Maybe one day in a different world
We could start over and
i could be you...
Selena Irulan May 2017
Sometimes I wonder if my ambition is too much. The word success is what I eat for breakfast, dinner, and lunch. I breath goals and unknown destinations. Roads that lead in different directions. I Hope for opportunities that lead me one step closer to a dream worth holding. I've lost  people I've known my entire life due to my selfishness. Or maybe it was my intent motivation. So maybe one day once I've reached my destination we can all reunite as one to talk about our accomplishments.
Selena Irulan Jun 2013
He is so special
I feel it in his aura
There is something about his
That makes me want to explore him
It was a cold night
But his heart is warm
So it was only right
That his beauty is adorned
Although the cycle of perfection
Was complete
Because flaws don’t exist
for imperfections;
In his world are obsolete
How could I infer all this
From a single conversation
Nobody knows
Expect the Most High above us all
She made him a concrete rose

His value is so high
Because his existence is so real
He is somewhere in the sky
He is very conscious of how he feels
He is so special
I feel it in his aura
I only talked to him one time
And already
I want to explore him

His energy reminds me
Of Aphrodite on Venus
Love and beauty
In his heart,
His mind is the keenest
He smiles and I feel at ease
Many miles for me to feel the breeze
He is so pleasant so calm and
So free
He is everything I can see
In me
He is everything a man should be

How could I infer all this
From a single conversation
Nobody knows
Expect the Most High above us all
He made her a concrete rose
He is so special
I feel it in  his Aura
I hope one day I can explore him
But this is something
That he already knew
The best part about it is
He knows I’m special too
Selena Irulan Jul 2013
Hard to believe i treated someone so beautiful so ugly
Wish i could make things right
I should have listened but i didn't (me and my bad decisions)
Now im trippin'
Now I got time to think of all I could have done..different
God knows I've done some wild and crazy things in my past
And I can't take nothing back
Can't do nothing bad..
Forced to live with it
Always making these bad decisions..
But its to late, i should have listened
Me and my bad decisions..
Selena Irulan Aug 2013

Beautiful Every Time i See You,

It's an Indescribable Feeling,

It Rushes From My Eyes, Straight To My Heart,

You Are God's Body Of Perfection,

The Devil's Looks of Deception,

A Smile That Is Contagious,

A Voice So Lovely To The Ears,

Eyes That Hypnotize Every Emotion Inside me,

The Love Of An Angel,

The Smell Of A Rose Divine,

The Taste Of An Unknown Flavor,

Your Skin So welcoming, Begging To Be Touched,

Held Ever So Gently,

And By The Time I Blink...

Your Gone.
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
Your kisses were deadly like poison.
Emotions are in oceans
if you think about all
The people who've died in
them unseemly unnoticed.
I was focused on your
eyes because i could see the lies,
betrayed at
16 your mind wonders with ease
so please save your lies, my cries, and be wise.
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
You shouldn't judge a book by
its cover nor color because
what you uncover may not [BE]
what you wanted to discover
Don't underestimate someones
ability's & mind...Your just being blind
people lie, steal, cheat and **** but whats
the deal with their reputation they've sealed?
Underneath their genuine faces lie disguises of
different sizes, it'll leave you with surprises.
A dark mask like a black hole, shadows unfold,
secrets are hidden beneath their souls.
Appearances are deceiving, within time true
colors start to show. [YOU] see the cover up
realizing how naive you've been now you don't
know who to trust. Never believe every smile you see,
remember people change like the seasons for reasons.
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
I've never met a person who could make me angry as quickly as you.
But when I need someone to make me laugh unexpectedly- you  do that too.
Mom always told us, when we were certain we couldn't be related,
That we'd never stop needing each other. A sibling couldn't be traded.
We often joked that hospitals switch babies all the time.
But deep down I knew, that even with your very worst parts, you were mine.
It's been quite awhile since I heard you laugh.
I find myself replaying conversations wishing they would last.
Missing all the things so uniquely you
Wishing I'd known sooner that what Mom said was true.
You're more like me than either of us could have known.
Now I see that losing you is like losing my only way home,
Because I have a connection to you unlike any other.
It was unavoidable. You're my Big brother.
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
To all the lovers of the world
Lucky enough to unite,
Pull your loved one close
And hold them tight.
As long as you have love
Everything will be alright.
To all who have a warm body
To lay beside them through the night,
Know that you are lucky beyond compare
To have someone to share the fight.
If you are blessed to find this kind of love
Make sure you treat them right.
Just remember that in matters of love
Things are seldom black and white.
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
These are the moments,
When I truly pray,
Please God,
Hear everything I have to say.

Bless this family,
And this little girl,
She has affected all our lives,
And became part of our world.

She is strong,
She is brave,
But with your guiding light,
We will know she is safe.
Selena Irulan Dec 2013
i feel so artificial
i need to break down the barrier
the wall is in my way
it can't be broken
it can't be broken

it's been there so long
since before we remember
can it be gone
it can't be broken
it can't be broken

i pace to and from
banging on the wall
i want to bring it down
it won't oblige me
it can't be broken
it can't be broken

my feet begin to falter
they curl up beneath me
i'm defeated
i retreat back inside
it can't be broken

it can't be broken
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
I’ll fall in love with every street corner,
I’ll fall madly in love with the sea,
And I’ll think of every grain of sand;
It’s where I need to be.
The only place that lets me breathe,
The only place for me.
Selena Irulan Aug 2013
Cant Sleep,
Too much on my mind,
Think too deep,
Might not want what I find,
Reality sets in,
Leaves me heart struck,
Not knowing what to say so I just say ****!
Close my eyes,
What do I see,
Still see those happy filled days with you next to me,
Time not stopping,
But the Love still in keep,
Wanting a better day to come I then drift off to sleep...
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
I wish I could describe this pull you have over me
The gravitational force of unspoken physics
I am not unlike a moth to a flame
if I get burned, my irrationality is to blame.
If I don't take this plunge, I may never know
whether I was right to let you go.
You make me smile, and I feel this force gaining fast,
An intoxicating rush I hope will last.
An undeniable passion, but I know my heart cannot much further be bent.
I hope I wasn't blinded by our biology.
Let what I heard, be what you meant.
Selena Irulan Jun 2013
Cloudy mind, I swear you get me every time
In a world like today, sanity can be hard to find
My expectations of myself grow higher as the drama comes down to the wire
Can you see the truth in the eyes of the blind or maybe in the words of a liar
It’s crazy to me how nothing is ever how it seems
Words of the gospel start to become the center of my dreams

Cloudy mind why do I deserve a second chance
No matter what I do, somehow or another I’m still in Gods plans
The marijuana smoke comforts me for a moment
You make me develop habits; I don’t condone it
Still I try
To make the days
Pass by

Cloudy mind can I please have back my appetite
Lately I haven’t been feeling right
I can’t sleep at night
I feel you taking over me
but I won’t allow you
To take over me
Cloudy mind I won’t allow
You to tear me apart
Your only half of me
because I also have a heart
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
For once I met someone as clumsy as me.
I am always falling.. Tripping even.
But I was too clumsy this time
and so were you.
You stumbled over my past,
And I fumbled into your mind.
I stepped into your soul
And you slipped into my life.
You tripped over my presence,
And we collapsed into each others' hearts.

I'm glad you're as clumsy as me.
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
Holding on to my pillow tight, wishing
it was you. Missing your thoughts thinking that
you left too soon... Come back and hold me tight, hypnotize me
so that i can sleep at night.. Your voice was so angelic to my heartbeat.
The harmony reconciling as our laughs filled the skies.. Come back and be with me.
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
Communication takes practice,
it's never perfect,
sometimes not patient,
sometimes not kind,
but you have to say what's on
your mind.
Lend an ear,
listen not just hear,
to the ones you love so dear.
Communication is not a one way street,
it takes two,
to concur this feat.
Communication is hard you see,
but in the end,
it is key,
to that great relationship,
we all want and need.
Open your heart,
say what's on your mind,
When you are partners
for life there's nothing to hide
Selena Irulan Aug 2013
I don’t know where to start,
Or how to begin,
The only **** I get is the smallest violin,
Poor me,
Poor him,
You’re a piece to my puzzle,
I’m the bullet in the mussel,
In the game I’ll never win,
The one called love,
Or the eighth deadly sin,
But you lie,
And I cry,
And you laugh with a grin,
Lie straight to my face,
Hit my heart with a mace,
Cause the speed that it beats is at a very deadly pace,
Because it wants to win the race,
But you beat it,
And you ****** it,
Yet you still do destruct it,
And my heart’s gonna stop,
Cause my tears always drop,
Into puddles that I mop,
Cause no one’s there to catch them,
Clean ‘em or dry ‘em,
**** that kid,
Nobody wants to try him,
So they all just play him,
Get a lie gun and spray him,
Go out for a day,
And continue to slay him,
Cause he’s already broken,
So let’s break him some more,
Let him cry,
Want to die,
And walk out the door,
Hey look it’s his friend,
Let’s be friends till the end,
No more no less,
But for me you pretend,
Because you never even liked me,
So stop ******* lying,
And I’ll just keep ******* crying,
While wishing of dying,
And never doing better than hoping and trying,
And I’ll help speed the process for you,
With my **** drug addiction,
And a future with conviction,
Cause all I’ve learned in life is love is just fiction,
Happiness is a privilege that leaves me alone,
All I see now is sadness,
And that’s all I’ve ever known,
Ever since my day off birth,
And the day’s that I’ve grown,
Look at my heart and you’ll see that it’s sewn,
Been used and abused,
And turning into stone,
Cracking and breaking,
From all the love faking,
The lying,
The crying,
The wishing of dying,
Love’s an imperfection,
I got something to mention,
Actually a question,
Tell me I mean and meant nothing to you,
And have it as your confession… ?
Selena Irulan Dec 2013
In many ways we are so close
yet always out of reach
Defenses we both put in place
that neither one could breach

Though put in place to keep us safe
from pain and fear and doubt
They have the added side effect
of keeping others out

When finally I crossed your path
and wished to set you free
The gates were locked so long ago
you could not find the key

And so this space between you and I
remains unto this day
I sit and wait while you decide
if there’s another way

In the depths of my mind,
Everything was figured out
And I was sure of how we would be:
A typical couple infused with happiness,
With lives that were worry free…

Is this how it is meant to be?
That when one finds true happiness,
The struggles begin to run deep?
That the little things begin to grow in power,
Causing everything I imagined to simply be devoured?

Can it be true, that I was wrong,
That love does more than set your heart free?

Well…as I lay here and
Await for the answer to strike from above,
I will continue the path I've chosen,
And refuse to believe in the dark side of love.
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
Dear Heart.
Please take your time to love fall in love again, don’t bail.
Your time will come.
There are those who would **** to see you fail.

Dear Heart.
You are so frail,
Let it go to Jesus.
And he’ll provide you your wings to sail.

Dear Heart.
You are too swift to fall for lies.
Relax assured in the rested truth.
I know you are incredibly wise.

Dear Heart.
I can only do so much for you.
Be strong.
I’m sorry for what I put you through.

Dear Heart.
I can’t promise you won’t hurt anymore,
But one thing I can guarantee
I’ll give you what you need to soar.

Don’t give up on me yet.
Selena Irulan Dec 2013
Life is a mysterious journey
From the cradle to the grave
We don’t know what happens after death..

We have feelings,emotions and longings
but we are nobody’s belongings

Everyone should transform to old age
In the end feels depressed and alone

The rain sprinkles our heart
We are a part of nature’s art
We should enjoy the beauty of nature

We relish every aspect of her feature
Writing poetry is a great art

It should touch our hearts
Our life span may be short
But we should make it smart

Our life on earth is not permanent
We should believe that it is transient
We don’t know when our life ends

One day the e-mail God sends
We should open it gracefully
We will have lived our life meaningfully
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
I am not actually alive
Really it is true I am not actually alive

You think I am because I look and breathe like I am alive but deep down inside I am dead like a cut flower that lies in a vase.

Sitting the there bestowed upon you to gaze at in glory for the few days I have left with my beauty before it wilts and shows you my true colors.

The dry aridness of this place has withered up my body and soul.  

The cold has reached my heart, I am only with myself laughing out the true colors of my joy and mixing my sour tears of sorrow.

I am a woman of defeat that has reached his end. separated from my foundation I am no longer alive.

I lay here surviving on what is left stowed away before my better half was cut from me.
Selena Irulan Jun 2013
Artistic mind, with artistic thoughts mind full of worries.
Cant sleep at night
So you fight a world full of pain
nothings right
take flights
Japan I can
feel your pain deep in the sand
Walks on the beach so
peaceful and sweet
There lies a breeze of defeat
Sad eyes i can feel your pain
nonetheless your feet
You watch the waves as they crash on shore
You can see the pain in
someones eyes even when they
keep a straight face its
like their bored but trying to escape
Pain so deep past lovers
couldn't see
Blind to the ******* he couldn't seek.
I mean what else can you
say to a person so cheap?
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
I deleted our texts.

I erased all your voicemails.


because everything I see reminds me of you,
reminds me of the pain you caused me,
of the burn you gave me.

so I erased it all
like it never existed

hopefully I can do the same
with my mind nonexistence
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
depression. its a battle i once faught
not really, but thats what i once thought
the truth is, its never gonna leave me, cause its always gonna need me
i still get down and always will, so when i do, its always gonna feed me
the world wants me to fight it, to beat it away
to let it know that it has no place to stay
but thats not true, cause its a part of me
and accepting thats like paying the hardest fee
so taking a pill each morning might help me see things 'the right way'
but its still gonna surface, not like each day can be the bright day
i know thats it normal, and i'm leaning to embrace it
rather than fighting and pushing, trying to replace it
cause when i get down, man i fall through the floor
i lock my heart in a room, and it breaks down the door
emotions are living, they want to spread wings and soar
and i know thats its true, cause i feel them right to my core
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
Everything happens for a reason
Just never seems to be the right season
I won’t let you put these dreams to sleep
They will stay strong like my heart beat
I will no longer accept defeat
Conquering this mountain is no longer a choice
Rather it is a way to speak my voice
Nothing can stop this storm now
I am on my way to flip your world upside down
You will no longer wear a frown
Because you will always be happy as long as I am around
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
Don't let your words cloud your mind
For each word spoken
Lays doubt in line
Troubles with liberties,
With words you use to speak
May be arrogant that play
To match for defeat

With the whole world watching
Trafficing of spoken words
Leads to compound interest
Into the cause for wars, racism,
Political mouth piece
On solid soil
Spreading words around in this world
Could get you on a list
Jeapordizing relations of all man kind

So step back for a moment
Before you speak
Become quiescent
Don't let your words
Cloud your mind
Selena Irulan Jan 2014
It's a Sunday night and you
watch the stars shine so bright
getting lost in them that it makes
your life seem alright for the moment

when your eyes leave the sky reality strikes and
you're back to that hell hole of a life where dreams
continue to die

Sometimes its had to get by day by
day with a fake smile on your face
in love with the darkness because no
one can relate

Sometimes it’s nice to sit in the rain.
Even to just relieve the pain
I dream of happiness, a life without pain,
but everyday it's a shame

life is short and very frail.
living in a world filled with
changes each and everyday

Every year i hope for a change
that never comes
I don't know when to let go.
All I know is I'm in it for the journey,
To give me more and more.

I believe more in my heart than my mind.
That i'll have that dream and be happy again
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
I lay in bed and i hear the rain
coming down on  my window pane.
it sounds so peaceful and calm.
But memories come back haunting
me more and more..
So send for an angel to watch
over me while i sleep.
Keep all the doors and windows locked
so his soul wont bother me.
he'll knock and shout open the door please.
His voice is so sweet but mean.
i'll crawl under my covers as he beats
once he's in i'll scream. He hovers over me
just when he's about to make his move
i awaken from my dream.
Nightmares the scare i cannot bare
save me from despair.
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
Thoughts of prestige
Actions of moral
Memories lost
Time gained
All have failed
All have lied When forming

Words from thought
Thought from emotion
Emotion from internal reaction
Internal reaction from physical reaction
Physical reaction  formed from another’s reaction
As the process repeats in backward loop

To denounce your ego fully is an impossible
But as we catch it from time to time
to rip it down for even a moment
to be beautiful
It will come back within the realizations that you just saw
it undermines it all
you are.  
is ego
All you exist in.
is ego
how you use this
how you process ego is to truly live with out
You will never be rid of something apart of you

Stop taking in the tones of Gods
Stop thinking
Stop creation

To destroy ego
Death my very well be that libration

To work with ego in harmony
To exist knowing you’re a flaw
To love being a flaw

I am evil
I am good
I just,..I am  
I can look to this to feel all
To play with this

You must not try to dismiss or disown any part of
Not even understand But to harmoniously cycle with ones self

A life unknown a life unwanted
Rip me down and feed me to time
My bones dusk entering
a lake in witch all creatures swim
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
With No Emotions left

I feel alone

Trying to understand the meaning of why

I no longer feel the need to love

Trying to contemplate ways in which I should once again

Make myself feel the need to feel

As memories race inside an empty space that was once my heart

That you have killed

I can't imagine me being on my own

While others have taken this place that you have once called my home

I've never given up the thought

Of you being in my heart

As you twist

And turned

And Pulled

Me apart

I can no long concentrate

As this nonfeeling has sealed my fate

This seems so unfair

But my emotions were never there

From the start

I knew you had no heart

So now all of this is true

I was never after you

So please don't hate me for my sins

My emotions are held within

The thin-line of my skin

So This I must confess

Cause I wanted to get it off my chest

no less

stressing me

cause you couldn't get next to me

While the Lord kept on blessing me

So forgive me for my sins

Cause all this could have been avoided

If only you had felt what I felt

When I had emotions to cover up my welts

Of being abused from emotionless love
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
Breathing you in...
Inhaling every scent of you,
Drinking you completely..
For your sweetness is so true.
Touching your exterior..
The finest known to me,
Holding your heart..
Counting every single beat.
Kissing your lips..
The softness so define,
Cradling your body..
With these arms of mine.
Entrapping your soul..
Making you mine forever,
Loving you endlessly,
Praying we'll always be together.
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
To love one so perfectly made
is to surely face heartache.
To look in lovely chocolate eyes
is a vow I must truly take.

I must bath in her love
In perfection I surely wade
I am hers and she is mine
our bond; eternity is laid.

Oh, to tarry with her for eternity more
is a vow I must truly take
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
You say you don't know,
you pretend not to see
When your vision is obscured
by a reluctance to believe
You claim it's me,
who's in the wrong
When we've both been broken
for far too long
You say you're seeking a bed
A shelter from the storm
Whilst ignoring my arms open
And hands so warm
You imagine I'm lost
Lamenting, feeling blue
When you're 100% right
(but I'm not telling you)
I'd rather die
Than suffer your "sorries"
I've rather drown
in water than worries
I'm sick of the script
So tired of the lies
I'm using emotional scissors
To sever these ties
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
Beauty lies deep with in
Although we may not always defend
With the heart you never want to pretend
Seek out the beauty to the living end
My heart is blank script ready to be written
The beat is gone
It just wanting for the melody to come along
An empty casket ready to be filled
My heart is ready to be claimed
I am ready to be tamed
Come find me
You have two feet
Every time I search or come near
You run away in fear
I’m done chasing
My heart is in no condition to keep this pace up
Your time of me looking for you is up
Don’t shed a tear my heart is hear
But it is not moving so don’t miss out
Cause I’m not going to hold out
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
Those fantasies that thrill you
the blush burns on your face
only when the reality hits you
and the feeling fades away

You could wish upon a thousand stars
except the chance is one in a million

if only it was as easy as a dream
if only it was reality
not just a stupid fantasy
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
I've heard it said
We're only visitor's here on earth
That our real home is up in Heaven
If You Believe
When things said true or untrue
Then is it the righteous who are barely saved
What chance will the Godless have

Be careful
Watch out for attacks from those
Who our the greatest of enemies with no soul
Their on the prowl
Like hungry roaming lions
Looking for victims to tare apart
Standing firm with their own beliefs and goals

Stand up and trust
In God
He's the true strength to getting us through
Any and all storms
When one of us around the world is attacked
It affects us all in suffering  
Go and stand up for courage
Not with Fear
Surrender it in God's Hands

Raise your thought of consciousness
The core of Peace is near
The enemy of Fire
Be ****
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
With a hint of love to fill the air
Sweet caresses to know you are there.
Kisses of ecstasy that entice my soul
Passions surround me as I lose control.
Familiar dwellings of a beautiful face
Miles of torture override this place.
Tho never to part nor be stolen away
Those miles we shall separate someday.
Closeness will fill our lives with a hue
Colors of love for just me and you.
If I could just hold you near to me
There is no other place I would rather be.
Kissing your lips, as I touch your skin
Bringing me into you deeply within.
Whispers so softly that we shall share
To each others hearts of how much we care.
If I could right now, flow into your heart
Forever I'd stay never wanting to part.
My love would be tender, honest and true
Until death do we part I will love only you.
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
A gleaming thought projected from the lady so undetected
inside the fenced gate where she starred at the stones
the ghostly silhouettes underneath
a frightening owl shined his beak
Summer brighter than years before
She sits much nearer to the bedroom door
...for in shortened shorts and tightest shirt...a silence overcomes the earth
Waiting for the golden hour to chime......the lady fades away in time
Selena Irulan Jun 2013
Could it be the result of


That has me walking through this

Blind night

Or maybe its the memories

Of what I thought would be my


Sadly, I am hurting badly

And no one can understand

The reasons behind my

Demanding demands

Everyday I strive to prosper

And stay alive

Though I can’t change the past

I do my best to enjoy my life

It’s bitter sweet to be present

In the present

Yet its hard to meet, a pleasant


Money is still a major issue

Everyday is all about survival

Love and compassion are vital

Yet to many live to hate

I just want to be respected and great

Life as a kid was so ideal

No worries in the world

No problems no stress

It’s so hard to live in the worst

And be able to still wish for the best

I should have expected the obvious

For it is so clear God is here

So there isn't anything that I


Expect the idea

Of fear
Selena Irulan Jul 2013
Sometimes I wish the roof above my room was gone
I could see the moon and stars

A galaxy of another world
Complex minds, vibes so high

It takes a person with imagination beyond fascination
Most people these days don't think with their heart

But i think with my mind, body, soul and body parts
Where were you when everything was falling

I needed you but not now. You're a heart breaker boy
Had my feelings tangled up like a cord

I guess you can't help who you fall in love with
I can feel your pain even if you're a thousand
miles away.

Boy, i can remember those days when loneliness was wiped
from your face, i cannot erase those thoughts away

Baby i can feel your pain

The sun is rising, maybe we'll meet again
Someday over the hirising sun
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
I closed my eyes
And I dream of you
Holding you
Feeling you
Molding you
Into something all our own
I closed my eyes
And I wonder
What it is that makes you
Want me
Need me
In the middle of the night
As we become one with each other
I closed my eyes
And I realized
That it is for you that I breathe
That is for you that I wake up in the morning
That is for you that I live for
So as I close my eyes tonight
I want you to know
That you are in my heart
As I close my eyes.
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
When I first thought of typing these words
The message I sought to convey,
Was that without knowing the problem,
"I'm hurting" isn't easy to say.
Upon some further reflection,
I probably could articulate my upset,
But that would leave too much open for inspection.
I don't want to be told that I am mistaken,
or even that I am correct.
What if my dream is left shaken?
Instead I'll suffer without going on trial.
I'll keep my fear to myself.
Let us hope I'm not in denial.
Selena Irulan Dec 2013
You taught me the truth & how to be like someone else
other than myself. its strange how i cant find the words
in my head to describe the feelings i felt

I've known you my whole life so why can't i do so ?
Everyday i grow from obstacles I've faced learning
things at first i couldn't relate now i know faith is how
i live victoriously.

The words that I've been looking for
Were found among my tears
But I've quickly wiped them all away
And hidden them for years

will my demons hide from you? just look at who
i have become i'm so ashamed you were the one
that made me feel the way i do

You've sealed my lips with a thousand kisses
Kisses I didn't deserve, Wishes that never came true
Voices that weren't heard because you failed to listen

Truth is you were twisted..
I wanted to tell you a million times
But every time i looked into your eyes
I couldn't find the nerve

I know now that looks can be
deceiving and misleading
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
Sometimes i need a hug
not a lecture  
not even a drug
someone to comfort me
and say that im a blessing.
It's Depressing how one
makes sadness a trend when
it's a serious issue that needs to end.
Pain, discomfort
and helplessness
are side effects, you just can't rest..(i've tried)
i want to be held in warm
arms of muscle and gentleness.
Whisper in my ear sweet nothings
A deep voice so forgiving but torture.
i get tired of people wanting
me for what i have
and not for who i truly am.
Material things aren't ****.
My worth and morals are who i am.
Don't take me for granted like
you did the other girls because im
worth more than pearls.
i want you to feel what i feel
and not be able to heal.
kneel at my feet and worship me like a queen.
Remember Irene?
She was bad for you
and you claimed to love her so much
until she cheated on you
leaving you lying in the dirt.
Queens deserve the highest honors,
and respect don't ever forget that silhouette.
Curves so magical her
body a work of art.
It should be painted on a canvas of her heart
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
An image painted on a canvas
For the whole world to see
Is the image what they notice
Or is it what truly lies beneath
On the outside there's beauty
Radiating a hint of happiness
Filled with life and enthusiasm
Enjoyed by all who see, or notice
The hands that created this masterpiece
Must have been solid, and stern
For the wall that holds this canvas
Has a black lining the eyes can't see
Bitterness, shallow, and heartless
Covered with a coating of gold
To the human eye to seem like perfection
For there is no happiness within
An abundance of repentance
that grows under this image,
stretching high up along the walls
The image of everlasting beauty
Trees swaying in the background
Beautiful flowers blooming abundantly
The sun shining as though just ripened
Birds soaring through the air,
chirping this magical, mystical morning
Dew lying upon the image
leaving a sparkle to catch the eye
The image seen as it is wanted to be seen
Painted from the mind of someone
needing perfection taking nothing less
Knowing you can't cut a stone with scissors
Or fly like a bird without wings
You can't even create perfection
When there is no such a thing.
Minus all the beauty that this image holds
Would your attention be captured the same
If by fascination you could see with it
Without it what would you see
A canvas hanging on a wall alone
No beauty within or without
Black walls that line the canvas, no image
Empty, rebellious, alone
Fascination is taken away by reality
Once the image becomes clear it is no longer
an image, nor perfection you see
Though now noticeable the canvas
rests on the wall that is lined in black
Plain as the sky on a glorious day
The canvas holds no image of beauty
No image of any kind
It was merely what someone wanted you to see
Hoping that in reality the image
would always be there, stay the same
Beautiful, happy, loving
Speaking a thousand words just
from what your mind captured
It is now faint to the eyes, clear
That this canvas is nothing more
than a dishonest piece of work.
Selena Irulan Dec 2013
Innocent eyes..
but her thighs told me otherwise.
a mask over her demeanor
so no one could realize,
the pain she bestowed
when drowning under water...
her eyes were timed like an
hourglass waiting for time to un-wine
her eyes told a story of grief,
disbelief, and that she needed some relief,
the darkness her eyes beheld,
were like the dark side of the moon.
she never cried, kept a smile on her face,
no one ever knew the secrets she consumed
her wrist had scars,
as deep as the ocean
the blood was running like
the water of a thousand potions.
i can admit i miss your presence,
your beautiful smile,
and how your aura glowed in the darkness.
i wish you never committed suicide that summer morning...
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