everything you do is every bit unconventional,
unique, and full of life.
so i decided to write a poem about it.
one different from the style i usually take,
because that's the kind of effect you have on me.
you make me want to take the leap,
compel a change i've been meaning to do over the years,
a positive impact, if you will.
you're a catalyst to a series of realizations,
and a smile i didn't know i had,
a laughter i didn't know i could conjure.
but its not what you make me feel that makes me want to write about you.
its not about how devastatingly beautiful i find you,
or how annoyingly charming you are to me.

its about how you are, by far,
the most emotionally intelligent person i know.
what's more is that you are wise and knowledgeable,
far more than you let on,
and yet you have no desire or need to have other people know.
you understand the cause and effect in life,
the necessity for suffering,
and how patience is humbling.

you may meet dozens, hundreds of people more in this lifetime than i ever will,
all of which i hope can see your beauty and your grace.
the hope you carry within, and the light that shines around you.
i hope they see you the way i see you,
because i know if they did,
they'd believe in you no matter what,
and they'd be there to stay through it all.

i hope one day you see yourself the way i see you,
and know why i believe in you.

it means take care or to take care,
in a foreign language.

you will, won't you?
you are far too beautiful to fall,
and even if you do,
i'll be there.

cuida,
take care.

there are so many secrets,
so many things still hidden,
underneath the skin from which you hide.
that even after you revealed so many details
about yourself,
your past, present,
and future,
i still clamor for more.

i hope to unravel,
every part of you,
in time.

i hope to know you more,
because i am drawn,
to every piece you divulge,
even the ones that you hate.

i like what you show me,
and i love even that which you hide.

so confess,
impart,
unfold.

i'm sorry if you're burdened by what i feel.
this is not your fault.
you didn't ask to be cared for,
and you didn't need anyone to be mindful of you.

but,
here i am --
for you,
and there you are --
for me,
for now.

i'm sorry for the weight i've put in your hands.
i promise to take it away, as soon as i can.
i know you don't need what i have for you,
and i know you won't ever want, what i can be for you.

but,
here i will still be for you,
and one day, you won't.

and that's okay,
that's okay.

i am falling for a future that isn't mine.
i wish things were simpler.
i wish i could discard and rearrange my thoughts
and not have you at the beginning
and at the end of it all.
i wish it could be that simple.

i know, no matter how hard i tried to envision it,
its a trap.
but, its nice to imagine once in a while, that it could be me.
and that maybe, the Universe, said yes to it all.
wouldn't that be nice?
but its a future, i know i can never have.
its a future that isn't mine.

i'm tired of thinking of you,
and i'm tired of everything you've done and said.
they're all still playing in my head
but i want you anyway still.

please stop running through my mind,
i know it isnt you anymore,
just a ghost of you.
nevertheless, maybe you can command it to stop.
just this once,
so i can hear your voice again.

i've lost you,
and it isnt my fault,
thats what they all say
yet here i am reeling at this particular loss.

and though it was all too fast,
from wanting to know every side of you,
to trying to omit every trace of you in my head,
you were wonderful.

how can you be both
the demon and the angel
inside of my head?
the very thought of you
starts a cascade of emotions,
both the good and the bad,
and an endless stream of memory,
that seems to replay from
beginning to the end with no form of escape.
what am i to do?
my mind seems to enjoy the demons you inspire,
and my heart misses the angel you were.
what am i to do?
the demon that i hope to finally see you as,
just led me to a deeper understanding that
all my thoughts and emotions point to you.

i never fell for the angel,
it was when you showed me
your darkness,
the demon inside of you,
and all around you,
that's where i fell.