Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Captured in the psych ward, Jesse Jameson' entry



Today Ron went into his usual cafe to buy a coffee and cake and

While he was in there he met Jesse Jameson who was in the store

Hiding from the police after robbing the local bank, and Jesse proved

That he was a nice gut, ya know too nice for prison and as soon as

Ron heard about the bank robber being Jesse Jameson, he tried to

Convince the magistrate that Jesse needs to be put in the psych ward

Instead of prison, and when Ron did the medication rounds, he gave Charlie

His, and Charlie said, I heard on the news that we might be getting a bank robber

In this psych ward, and Ron said, well, yeah, we could be, it is up yo the magistrate,

And you do know that you have to behave yourself if he does, because he could turn

Nasty, and as Jesse was in the holding cell, he was feeling the hooligan in his feet

In the form of an itch and Ron came in to say hello, and talk about,what the lawyers

Have planned for you, you see, what you need is, you need to be on your best behaviour

You don't commit any crimes between now and next Monday and, there will no problem

Of you going to the psych ward, you see I am bending over backwards and Jesse sat there

Scratching his toes, and Ron asked have you got tinnea or dermatitus in your feet, and

Jesse said no, it is the fact I am in here, instead of the psych ward, you see I didn't mean

To rob that bank and I can tell you why I did it, and Ron said, well, why did you, and Jesse

Said, well, I was hearing voices that I couldn't control, and before you say it, I am not

mentally ill, you see I am just a man who needed a few dollars to feed my family and Ron

Said, well, yeah, we have to get a psychiatric examination anyhow, because you broke the

Law, Jesse, you had a gun, you could have killed someone, you are risking jail time, and if

You pass the psych test, you could go to the psych ward, for as long as it takes for the

Medication to work and Jesse said, ok, so, if I pass the psych ward I get off in a psych ward

Instead of jail, what about my reputation with my mates, we used to laugh at the mentally ill

And Ron said, yeah, so I will come 2 hours before the court case, to give you a psych

Evaluation and then we'll see whether you pass to come here, but Jesse, I am sorry, you

Ain't fit for society, the psych ward is the safest place, for you, so psych test is your best bet

Buddy, and then Ron went home and ordered a pizza and fell asleep in front of the box

And woke up, and had to miss his cup of coffee, to go to the police holding cell to give

Jesse his psych test and after he did that, he gave the test results to the lawyer and went to

Cafe to have his cup of coffee and vanilla slice and said, ya know, that guy who was here

Yesterday, the big day has arrived, and hopefully we will get our wish of having him in the

Psych ward, but, I glanced at his psych test, it looked normal, and I said, this guy was

Hearing voices, and as soon as he had his food he went to the court to find out whether

Jesse will be sentenced into his care and Ron arrived at the holding cell, to pick him up

And drive him to court, hoping that he will get the chance for Jesse to join his HDU and

After 3 hours of being in the court, hearing god knows what, and when the magistrate

Came back, he closed the case, and said, I sentence Jesse Jameson to the care of Ron

Coopers HDU, suffering from schitzophrenia and Jesse thanked Ron, and for the first 2

Weeks Jesse, was isolated from the others till they have his medication right, but Jesse had

A TV in the room and he lied on his bed and watched TV and then Ron brought around the

Night time medications and that was including Jesse's and then Ron clocked off and

Went home to make spaghetti bolognaise and watched TV and then fell asleep on the couch

And Jesse was making noise all night, so much in fact the nurses need to give him ******

To settle him down and the next morning Ron got a phone call saying that Jesse needed to

Settle down, so we gave him a ****** and Ron went straight to the HDU and gave Jesse his

Morning medication, and said, you need to relax at night, and Ron left after Jesse said

I will try, try ******* you


Sent from my iPhone
captured in the psych ward, new year special




it’s new years eve and ron bought along his punch bowl and a few sushi dishes

as well as party sandwiches, to make the people in the psych ward have a good atmosphere

for the new year, and this year charlie chaplin man was going to read all of his poems as the

entertainment and the nurses did a lot of work so the patients feel calm enough to enjoy

charlie’s show, so medication time was before the show and even charlie, because he was worried

he would yell very loudly if he didn’t and then it started

ron said, ok guys we are going to have a mini new years eve concert run by this man charlie chaplin

charlie said, welcome and happy new year and my first song is   The schitzophrenic


You see I am sitting at the mall
I am having dillusions of people teasing me, and I wish this will all stop, oh please, just leave me the f..k alone
And then I hear voices that aren't really being said o hear Jon killed my best friend named Fred, the thing is I have no best friend, oh year
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
From the first diagnosis till the day you reach 45, you see if i take medication it can be controlled yeah oh yeah
I am schitzophrenic
Then I went to see my psychiatrist and he told me, to try and get a life, I told him I was blackbeard and John F Kennedy, he just threw a smart *** comment my way, I thought that comment was rude and ******, yes it is hard to be liked when you do
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
Yes it's easy to do, just let me hang out
You see with my medication it can be controlled, ooooh
I am schitzophrenic
You see I get paranoid when I see people around and right wing governments want us locked up
It mighty hard to have this illness and I cab say this
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
Do it once and you get all hooked and after that you feel like a geek, cause your a schitzophrenic, and also with medication it can be controlled
Oooooh I'm a schitzophrenic
Yes, that's true

charlie said, that was a great song and it’ll get you started ya know, the next song is maybe later


maybe later, i will get what i want

maybe later, i will rediscover the beauty

of being alive in this great world

it’s just a long-awaited journey

from beginning to end

and i will try and enjoy the moment

in the psych ward spotlight

i say, please slow down, your moving too fast

please almighty one, let me live long enough to give

a poor old soul a home

they don’t want a bench and they don’t want an old burnt out hall

it’s not fun for me

to look at these big buildings

with hot shot business types, when your not one

it’s enough to drive you mad

please make me except it could be later




the next song charlie sang was standing on the inside looking out, a song that explains what we are going through


standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

you see i was visioning i was in glenelg bay

but instead you get doctors saying how are you enjoying your day

i wished i was well and enjoying my life

instead of being in here wasting away

then i called out to almighty god

and the best i can get is a man who claims he is jesus christ

i said, no, were you nailed to the cross

and he said yeah after i rode in on my horse

and i said wasn’t it a donkey you ran in on and i was

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

i was getting bored, so i asked the nurse

to give me a pass out to the cafe

because i was starting to lose my mind

and when they said no i let out a little wine

i said please please please, mate, this place is driving me mad

the inmates here, smell really really bad

so the nurse made me a banana smoothie and i said thanks

and took it away to my bed, walking past every room before mine

i even tripped over a piece of fishing line

then i sat down in my glenelg bay apartment sipping my smoothie saying

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

dinner time came and i had fish and chips

it was ever so discusting, ya know like hospital food

i opened my orange juice and gave it one almighty sip

and i ate my chocolate mousse, yeah it is as tasty as

when dinner was over i went to the TV room

to watch the news and home and away

then some dude came into watch it with me

and he said, did you know i was GOD, i said, no

as i sat there thinking i was

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward in the psych ward

in the psych ward trying to get bet-ter


charlie chaplin after that song was over sang his small poem titled a smile has nothing on us, here goes


whether you let out a big smile or not

you could add it to your melting ***

what you need is a great big melting ***

big enough to take the world and all it’s got

every thing that you can eat

my rundown car is really neat

the coffee urn is piping hot

boiling whether you like it or not

but your smile comes through and through

like a fresh flower, blooming every day for me and you

i try to smile all the time

cause  it’s very fun to do

i like smiling, cause it’s fun



charlie then announced his next song saying spare me, because when your poor you always say spare me. here goes


spare me some money for the bus

spare me some money for the bus

spare me some money

so i don’t look like such a dummy

spare me some money for the bus

spare me some cutlets for my tea

spare me some cutlets for my tea

spare me some cutlets

and some vegetables

thank you very muchlets

spare me some cutlets for my tea

spare me some wine to go with that

spare me some wine to go with that

spare me some wine

so i can feel so divine

spare me some wine to go with that

spare me some chocolate for after that

spare me some chocolate for after that

spare me some chocolate

so i can have what you have

spare me some chocolate for after that


charlie then said, my next song is every day is a day of disappointment because being here really *****


Every day is a day of dissapountment

One day as I was walking down a busy street, saying g'day to everyone who u walk past, then I went back through the park and I saw so many walks of life, from the beggars asking for money and the rich refusing to give it to them, and it all sounds so crazy as I walk through doing nothing like that, after that I felt a bit peckish, so I went to the take-away to buy myself an hamburger with egg and bacon and there was this weird looking fella standing at the door, greeting each customer with a smile, he didn't really work there, but he will never be told to leave, cause he ain't a threat, oh no, then after that I went to the grocery store to buy enough supplies to last me for a week, or maybe more, I could hardly know, then after that, all that shopping made me a bit thirsty, so I went to the sports club and drown my day away, with a ice cold fosters lager or a ice cold can of VB, after that I will get so drunk o could hardly stand up and my friends drove me home and they also walked me inside, just to make sure, I don't collapse on the front lawn, you see, your day seems to go from good to bad, if you make the wrong choices and that makes every day, a day of dissapointment, after that horrible night on the *****, I got up and had a hangover cure, consisting of two raw eggs and worcestershire sauce, yes that sounds so very tasty, yes I love it and live by it, it really makes me feel like I can have a party in my mouth and everyone is invited to spend about a year or so, at the local sports club doing one thing every single day, and then after that you won't seem like every day is a day of disappintment for everyone on this earth



charlie then decided to pretend he had a best mate named albert waldron and back then albert gave him lyrics to a song, here it goes



Alfred Waldron looking back, oh yeah



You see I was a great footballer, man
Yes, I was so ace, but it was a long long time ago
About close to 1 hundred years
You see I payed in South Australa
And I played footy very well, and after the match
I would go to my car, and get my BBQ an start cooking the snags
Yes, I loved that, it was really really cool
Everyone thought I was an average cook
And they all came over for some meat
Yes, I even had some nice cold beers
Yes, I think thats so very cool
As I cooked the meat, the other players were saying
Come on mate, cook us some nice beautiful Aussie snags
I also played cricket, for South Australia as well
And I even took my BBQ to the cricket for after match food
The only way you can do that now, is if you just stayed local
And some days, like at the footy and the cricket
Every player got very vocal
I was a real Australian guy, who loved to play, footy or cricket
And I loved the BBQ at the end, yes it was so esquized
Yes I had the muscles, and I have lots of those
Everyone enjoy eating a snag a sausage
And then an egg and bacon roll
Since that footy life ended i felt cool


ron said to charlie just one more song because people are yelling and we can’t control them, but charlie we will have the midnights fireworks for you, ok



charlie said he has got his fresh old legs going wild here it goes


they will dance

they will run

into the midday sun

they will race

warm embrace

be a bit lazy

head to the pub

go to the shop

to buy some clothes

angels coming down

worshipping the town

playing football

driving cars

around the good old town

having drinks with the guys

fresh flowers for sale at the shop at SHOPRITE

SHOPRITE SUPERMARKET

CUTTING ALL THE FOOD BILLS YEAH

spiders coming through the window

to destroy all mankind

makin g lamb for dinner

nicest you’ve ever seen

i said i will stay home and watch my mate, mr bean

yeah, your fresh legs go wild

when they do all these things

and before the end, charlie got the entire staff and patients to sing auld lent zine at 10.00 pm

because everyone was getting tired and cranky
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o’ lang syne!

Chorus:
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot
Sin’ auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’t in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin’ auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid willie-waught
For auld lang syne!

And surely ye’ll be your pint’ stoup,
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!




ron and charlie were helping each other clean up while the other patiens were being injected with ******

from yelling too much and after the cleanup was done, charlie went to the TV room to watch the fireworks

that were on at midnight on the TV, meanwhile, ron clocked off and went to the pizza hut and went home to

watch the fireworks on the TV thinking, today, ron made charlie a happy man, by letting him do his concert

it wasn’t till midnight but they can’t do that in the HDU.
Captured in the psych ward part 12



This was a weird day for Ron, you see, he has to make sure that all the patients
Get the right dose of their medication,and he likes to be friendly to the patients
Cause it's hard for him to be harsh and every time a patient came out saying I am
Charlie Chaplin or Jesus has healed me. Well Ron wasn't ready for our next person
Who was Graham Toad, and he lived a great life in Broadmeadows with his cat
Snowball, off the show the Simpsons and he had a lot of fun with snowball, every
Chance he got, he would throw him around making snowball snarl at him and, this looked weird for the neighbours to see and they hated the idea of this cat being out at night
And asked Graham very nicely to bring his cat in at night, but graham was a sucker
For having a cat out having fun all the time when he wanted, said, ******* ya old fogies
And then went inside and unknown to him, the neighbours rang the police to get them
To come over to teach graham about being nice to his neighbours, and when they came
Over graham said, ******* ya ****, I live my own life here, and if you don't like the way I
Live, you can *******, and the police said to graham, the neighbours are complaining
About you, you need to respect their wishes, to keep quiet at night, and graham said
******* pigs, I don't want you **** around here and then the police left and put snowball
Inside and graham and snowball were having a wrestle and the police were worried about the well being of the cat, and just sat down on his porch and he saw a very violent for a
Cat wrestle going on and the police walked in and said, I have to tackle this cat, you see
It's the dingo that killed Azaria chamberlain, I need to **** the spirit, it's spoiling the aura of this place and the police, put his hand on Graham's shoulder and then graham said I have to do this, and tbe police said, it's your little cute cat snowball graham, and the neighbours
Were watching like a pack of peeping toms, and as graham was being pulled to the car
He said to the neighbours, stop staring at me, you stupid stupid old clots, get off my fucken
Property, and get off it right now and then he pushed the police man down, and ran inside his house and locked the door and told everyone that, he will stay in his house forever,you
See, he said, I will be the judge if I am well, or not and there is no way known to man, that
The psych ward will ever get him and keep him in that psych ward, but the police rang the
Psych ward and they sent the doctor Ron cooper and they rang him up from the cafe
Where, Ron was speaking about the interview with Macauley Culkin he saw on YouTube last night and Fran said, what did he have to say and Ron said, nothing much, just speaking about writing a book and all that jazz, and them Dan said, that Macauley Culkin is a real
Troublemaker, but then Ron said, there is ** such thing as a troublemaker and we should
Be nicer, than those ****** adults of the 80s decade and then the phonecall came and
Ron was called out to Graham's house, to try and convince him to go to the psych ward
And he opened the door, but only to yell,,at the policemen to give his cat to him and then
Ron showed up on his doorstep and said, I don't think so, I know you love this cat, I don't
Think you are ever guilty of ever loving this cat, ok, but if you love him, you will let us take him off you, you see graham there is nothing wrong with being taken to the psych ward
You are sick, you need to be monitored on medication, and then Ron grabbed graham by the arm and graham said ******* ya ****, get off me ya stupid baby man, I want you to
*******, right now ok, if I do go with you, I want you to sleep the first night with me, cause
You go to your warm bed at night, thinking you are king ****, and Ron said, I would be breaking rules, if I did that, things could happen, and graham you are handling this like a
Coward, remember what ya dad used to say and graham said, yeah, my dad ain't around no more and I feel a bit insecure, with going to that psych ward and Ron said, ok, then he told
The police, to leave him here, but Ron said, he will take snowball back to his house and
He bought a weeks worth of cat food and a fish and chip meal and went home to rest
And fell asleep in front of the TV, with the cat running up and down the house, and Ron
Had snowball sniffing his nose,which made him sneeze


Sent from my iPad
The psych ward is for losers
You bet ya ****** oathe mate
Their losers
The psych ward is for losers
Only losers go there
You see I hate the psych ward
It is for people worst than me
I don’t belong in the psych ward
No I ****** don’t
I prefer to be free mate
Never locked away in there
The psych ward is for losers
Losers they are
I prefer people who try and keep out of trouble
And I know it will be easy
All I gotta do is keep out
The psych ward have problem people
Like yellers and sick people
I want them to get better
But I don’t want to be with them
The psych ward is for losers
Oh yeah mate for losers
The psych ward is for losers
Oh yeah bow bow it is
Mitchell Sep 2013
The retainer where she was put
Was made of concrete. My father told me they had
Dug the grave first, then poured the concrete in, waited for
It to dry and harden, then hammered in six
Circular spikes in the four corners, two on either side
Of the middle. They lifted the concrete cast out with a crane.
My dad was going to be charged 300 dollars a day for the rental,
But because of the circumstances, Home Depot let us have it for free.

-

Where was she?
Where had she gone?
Would I see her face again?
Would she want me to
Meet her on the other side of the river?

-

I answered my cell phone.

"Make sure to bring flower's."
She had been crying. Her voice wavered the way sun light
Does on moving water.

"Make sure to bring flowers," she repeated, "And
That you wear what your father and I bought you."

I nodded my head with the receiver pressed up against my ear.
We both let out a sigh. My mom hung up. I put my phone in my back pocket.

-

Lately, I had been seeing a shrink about repetition. He liked to use the word cycle.

"Everything is repeated," I would tell him.

"Life is a cycle," he'd disagree so to get me talking.

"Can cycles be identical?"

"Technically not. Some cycles are extremely similar, but no two cycles are
Completely the same. Are two people's lives ever exactly the same?"

"I wouldn't know. I don't know that many people. Maybe."

"You know lots of people, Camden. You have told me about many of your friends."

"Are we talking about the seasons?" I asked, changing the subject, "Like fall, winter, spring, summer? We are born, we live, we die, and we are born again?"

"That's a very natural way of looking at it."

"I know it is." I inhaled deeply, swallowing air and wondered what time it was.

"If you are so sure, why look for validation from me?" He liked this one, I could
tell. I imagined him shopping for clothes and then exploding in aisle 16 because of a sale on jeans.

"The word cycle is used by people too afraid to use the word repetition. Everything is
Repeated for the next generation, the next group, the next of the next of the next. We shift things
Around, give things to one another to shift life to make it look different, but, things remain the same. Everything contains the primal function we were all doing and living from the very beginning, only now, there is more of a separation. Music is still music, words are still words, paintings are still paintings, love is still love, death is still death, only done differently and more intensely."

"We are talking about man furthering technology because we, as people and creatures, are
Statistically more prone to flee than fight?"

"Why do you think it has caught on so quick?" I touched both
Corners of my lips with my tongue and suddenly realized I hadn't eaten breakfast.

"It is a theory," the psych nodded, "A theory with, I am sure, many
Palpable facts you could make a very nice report with to prove...something." He
Was at a lost for words and I felt guilty that my mom was paying him $75 an hour.

"We are very split. There are too many of us. Too many hands spinning the china."

"Who is we Harry?" The psych hadn't looked up from his pen and pad of paper, until now. I could
Tell he was annoyed with me either because he was making no progress or because the session
Had just begun and I was already digging into him.

"Culture. The government. You, me, my dad, my mom, the taco bell cashier, the geniuses at Apple computers, a paper weight, my dead sister. We're all apart of these shifts, all putting in a certain amount of energy and lies to keep the protection of the projection going. The question I keep asking myself is: do I want to use my strengths to be apart of this cycle or not?"

His eyes flared open for a moment like he'd swallowed a firefly, not at the question I had posed for myself, but from what I would soon see was from the mention of my sister. He had something.

"I was notified by your mother that you may not want to talk about your recently deceased sister. Is It O.K. if I ask you some questions about her?"

I was leaning forward on the couch with my hands clasped in between my legs. The psych had looked up at me now. He was sweating at the top of his thin hairline. Observing that I was staring at his building perspiration, he, trying to be nonchalant, took out a thin, white napkin from his grey shirt pocket and dabbed the top of his head. The napkin looked like cheap toilet paper. I'd have offered him some water, but I had no water to give and I didn't know where the sink and cups were to give him any. I figured he did - it was his office - so I asked him for some. He pointed me in the direction of the bathroom. I got up and found a stack of paper cups. I poured myself a cup and went back to the couch, but instead of leaning forward, I sat back, relaxed, and let the expensive leather couch take the weight I had been carrying away.

"So," the psych maintained cooly, "Would it be alright if we were able to discuss your sister?"

I lifted the paper cup over my head and the psych's eyes, after I poured the water over my hair, my face, and clothes, was a mixture of what my mom's eyes looked at the funeral, defeated, confused, and with a loss of faith and hope. My father's eyes had only held hate, anger and the need to lash out at someone, but the only someone that would have fit the bill would have been God.

"Sure," I answered, "Let's talk about my sister."

-

I finished drying myself in the car. The psych had let me keep the towel.
I leaned out the window to look at myself in the side mirror. I looked fine.
Presentable. Accountable. Like I had been through something where I had
Faced my soul. Like I had used and abused my emotions. There was comb in my glove compartment, so I took it out and rushed it through my damp hair. Slicked back. The sun
Was out, no clouds, burning up the inside of my car. That taste that comes after
Finishing something that's supposed to do you good didn't come. I was left with an unsure hand.
Putting my keys in the ignition, I turned them, and felt the engine rumble in front of my legs.
The sun sat in the sky like a lazy hand and I had nowhere else to go but home.

-

"Let's go to the river today," my dad said over coffee and two over easy eggs on top
Of burnt wheat toast. "I'll drive and you and your sister can sit in the back and sing."

I looked over at Ally. She was gazing into her fruit bowl she had prepared for
herself because dad didn't understand the concept or how to make it. The lamp light above us
reflected in the smooth apricot yogurt and the flecks of granola scattered on top
looked like beige, jagged rocks. My dad's offer hung in the air and neither
of us bit the lure. I had just woken up and was unable to speak clearly, a decent
excuse. Ally was simply choosing to ignore him.

"What you think there Ally?" I asked her. I sipped my coffee. It needed more cream. I got
U, got it and brought the carton to the table.

"We can take the truck down there and load the back with the fishing poles and tackle
And inner tubes. We haven't...done that...in a long time," he said, chewing his food as he spoke.

Ally poked her fruit bowl with her spoon, silent.

"What you think, Cam?" My dad was desperate. He knew I'd say yes.

"Sure. I've got no plans this weekend."

"No schoolwork?"

"It can wait till Sunday. Only math and some reading."

"Ally, what do you think?" my dad asked, leaning over to her. I could see he was
Trying to be as courteous and gentle with her as he knew how to. I felt bad for him.

"Sure," she muttered, "That sounds like fun." I could barely hear her, but somehow,
I could tell she sounded happy.

"Perfect," my dad smiled, "We'll pack the car up Friday,
Drive up Saturday morning early, camp one night, then get back Sunday afternoon." He
Took a long sip of his coffee and swished it around in his mouth, then dug
His fork into the dry toast and ran his small steak knife over the eggs. A silent pop came from
The egg and the light orange yolk spilled out. "Perfect," he repeated, "Just great."

Ally poked a grape from her fruit bowl and dipped it into the yogurt.
I took another sip of my coffee and looked up into the fan, spinning above us.
We were going to the river.

-

"Your sister turns five today," my mom told me, "And that means
I want you to be on your best behavior."

I nodded, unsure what the point of a birthday was. I had had one before, or at
least I thought I did, and all I remembered was that I got presents and the colorful balloons
and the cake we all ate with fire kind of floating and burning above it. Somewhere
in that moment I remember thinking that the cake was going to catch on fire, then they, everyone,
some that I knew and some people I had never seen before, yelled and shouted to
blow the fire out, so I quickly did, but not because it was for a wish, which I later found out it was supposed to be for, but because I truly thought the cake was going to catch fire and they wanted me to take care of it. At that point, I was unsure what it meant to be alive or why to celebrate it all.

"This is her day, Camden," my father told me, "So I want you to be happy for your sister."

"I am," I said. I was wearing my favorite white and blue striped t-shirt and
New shoes that my mom had bought me for the party.

"Sometimes you have to think of other people," my mother continued, "And today is one
of those days. I don't want any crying because you didn't get any presents or that none of your
friends are at the party. There are going to be a lot of Ally's friends there, but not many
of your's...do you understand?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Do you understand, Cam?" My father repeated. His skin was the color of a burnt
pancake and he smelt like stale sugar and sun tan lotion. He was in front of me and was
holding a thin magazine with a man in a boat holding up a fish on a line on the cover.  

"Yes, Dad," I said again. I was hungry. I wanted mac n' cheese, my favorite food.

I had been on the floor, laying on my stomach watching Ren and Stimpy. They were standing in front of the television and I remember trying to wish them out of the way. Behind them were two, large bay windows where three palm trees stood in a row like tropical soldiers. I could see there was no wind because the three of them stood still, as if posing for someone. Their leaves were bright green, a mixture of the neon green Jello I used to love to eat and the orange Jolly Rancher my dad would always have in a tiny tray in the middle of the dining table. My mother hated having them there because it always tempted Ally and I, but he never moved it until he moved out.

"Do you like your show?" my mom asked, turning to see what I was watching.

I nodded, absently. Ren was licking Stimpy's eye because he was complaining about having
an eyelash in there. Stimpy was completely still and smiling like he does - dumb and content.

"Interesting..." my mother trailed off. She walked to the kitchen behind the couch and
Opened up the pantry for something. "You hungry, Camden?"

"I'm starving," my dad said, "Let me go check on Ally in the bedroom. She should be up
from her nap."

I got up from my stomach and sat back on my legs, "Do we have mac n' cheese?" I asked.

"Let me check."

She reached up for the cabinet over the stove where I could never reach and
Opened it. I rose slightly up from where I was sitting to see if I could see the glorious dark blue and orange package, but wasn't able to see over couch. I hovered there, still like a humming bird.

"You're in luck," I heard her say, "We've got one box left."

"Yay!" I screamed and got up, running into the kitchen.

"But," she smiled, stopping me, "You'll have to share it with your sister."

"No! I don't want to! I always have to share."

"What did we just talk about Camden?" she said, lightly stamping her foot.

I tried to remember, but couldn't. I shrugged.

"You need to learn to share, Camden. You also need to listen better when your father and I are talking to you. You and your sister are going to know each other a very long time and I want you to learn how to share now, so you two can be happy in the future."

"The future," I asked, "What's that?"

She paused, then said, "It's a time," she paused again, "Ahead of us."

"Do we know where it is?"

"Not exactly," she sighed.

"What's it look like?"

"No one really knows. People can only imagine it."

"Is it very far away?"

She opened the top of the blue and orange mac n' cheese box and poured the dry macaroni into a large silver ***, lifted the faucet, and let it run inside for five or seven seconds. She placed the *** on an unlit burner and turned to look at me. Her eyes looked far away and right there with me.  

"Closer then you think," she said and turned the burner on.

-

I turned into the taco bell parking lot. There was something I was trying to remember that was in my trunk, but I couldn't recall the picture. A haze blew over the windshield that was a mix of heat and wind; I wished to be somewhere else, someone else, someplace else, but, there I was, sitting there underneath the sun, like everyone else. If I was able, I would have unlocked the door to my car and opened the door and walked out - but - there was something else lingering underneath my fingernails, something I couldn't name.

"Two tacos," I said into my hand, "And a water."

"Pull to the window," the voice buzzed over the muffled speaker.

"Yes," I said through my split fingers.

In front of me, over a patch of clean cut green grass and a yellow, red, and orange Taco Bell signature sign, was a fresh gas station with a willow tree *** near the front entrance. He had a sign that hung around his neck that read Juice Please - Very Thirsty. How I knew this was because I had seen it every time I had been asked to fill up my dad's car every other Sunday. I had never given the tree a dollar, yet, I felt that I owed him something. I tried to pull up to the window, but my clutch was grinding and a cloud slunk overhead. I was tired and only wanted to eat.

"That'll be a two twenty-five," the voice said through the thick, clear glass.

"Yes," I said to myself, digging into my wallet for three dollars.

I ****** the three onto the thick plastic platform. A quick sweeping plastic brush pushed the bills toward the asker, and the bills were gone. I had no food. I had nothing. My money was gone and all I had was a gurgling car in front of me and an empty front seat beside me. A pair of clouds waded by my front shield window. A shadow drew itself out in front of me like a **** model. A beep. Sudden and behind me. There was sound. I looked over my shoulder and a black  2013 Cadillac was sitting there, windshield tinted grey, the driver a shadow. I was unsure what to do...so I pulled forward six inches, hoping the offer would be enough. I wasn't in the best neighborhood.

The window to the left of me slid open. An arm erupted forward with a plastic bag,
"75 cents is your change."

The hand dropped three quarters next to the plastic bag. I grabbed the bag with the two tacos and three quarters and quickly wound up my window. The face in front of me was a dangerous blur: smiling, frowning, not caring either way what happened to me next. The hands had gobbled up the three dollars and I was happy to see it go. Who needed money? I tossed the plastic bag onto the passenger seat and sped off two blocks for my grandma's house. Salvation. The holy land. A place with free hot sauce and two dog's that were stolen without paper's. Eden.

-

"What are you learning right now?" I asked Ally.

She hesitated, then said, "Something to do with science." She paused," Lot's to do with rock's."

"Rocks?" I stammered, not remembering a time when I learned about rocks in school, "What kind of rocks?"

"I don't know," she grinned, looking up at me, "All kinds."

I laughed and kicked a stone into the river. The sun was out and reflected on the water like an unpolished diamond. We had grown up a quarter mile away, but still, it felt foreign to us.

"I like it. There's some things you could see that you would never think to read about it in books."

I had read plenty off books. Most, I took little from, but Ally, I could see, had taken plenty.

"What are you doing in school?" Ally asked me.

"What do you mean?" I
santa claus is captured  in the psych ward



it is the year 2015 and ron was decorating the HDU with christmas decorations

and while he was doing that, 67 year old billy thomson got dressed up as santa and

went around giving lollies to the children of the land and one mother complained and

said, this man has no right to hand lollies to the children without a permit and billy said

why don’t you get ******,you see i am the feral santa and i lived on the north pole before

the blizzard that wiped out all the north pole, and there is still a north pole but it is trapped

in children’s imaginations never to be seen again, and i who put my good name on this town

decided to free the north pole and this mother left and called the police on her cellphone

and in about 50 minutes the police arrested billy and took him to ron’s HDU, and billy said

i am santa claus and if i stay here i can’t free the north pole, i am a nice person, and i don’t deserve

to be in a place like this, and jesus claus went up to billy and said, your not the real santa, and billy

swore at jesus and said, your mother is the only one who thinks you are special, your about as special

as a hole in your heart and jesus swore at billy and suddenly a fist fight broke out and billy said, mate

i am the real santa and you are my son, but the blizzard stopped you from being the real santa

so, i made you stuck in people’s imagination and ron took billy aside and said what is on your mind, and billy said

i lost my job at the factory and then i got a calling from the almighty one to spread christmas cheer all over the land

and i did that by giving lollies to children yelling ** ** ** MERRY CHRISTMAS, and ron said, ok, you do know it’s 2015

and it’s not appropriate to do that and then billy said, you see i believe that if i can start a santa claus website, where

we can play christmas carols and kids order their presents, we can take the myth of santa out of kids imaginations and

into the real world and then ron asked, are you going to charge a fee and billy said, we don’t need a fee and jesus claus came up

to billy and said, you can’t get santa through the computers, it’s too early to do that without a fee and billy said, why don’t you

just get ****** and ron gave billy risperidal  and seroquel, to settle his delusional santa claus mind, and jesus was walking around the

psych ward i am killing off santa and billy walked around the ward saying, i am going to give jesus a lump of coal, which made the nurses

come out and try and settle them down but that was difficult so ron decorated  the psych ward and billy started yelling ATHENA BROUGHT

THE BLIZZARD THAT DESTROYED THE NORTH POLE, ATHENA BROUGHT THE BLIZZARD THAT DESTROYED THE NORTH POLE

and jesus claus yelled THERE WAS NO NORTH POLE, NO PREVIOUS EXISTENCE, WE WERE THE FIRST PEOPLE ON EARTH

then billy yelled, WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKEN WAR, OK, I WAS THE REAL SANTA, and jesus said OK, AND *******, and went back to his room

and billy went to his bedroom to have a lie down, and get the presents ready for christmas and then lunch was ready and ron woke up

billy and billy said, i am helping my elves prepare the presents for christmas and ron thinking he was loopy said, even santa needs to have lunch

and ron bought billy to the table, and the meal was lesagne and salad and chocolate mousse and then ron bought jesus his lunch as well and after lunch

there was a christmas special of yelling, billy and jesus said jingle bells jingle bells jingle and root the chick, and billy said, oh what fun it is to say

leave and never come back, and jesus sang, dashing through the psych ward yelling out our stuff,trying to point out to the staff that these side effects are

wrong, you see we need settling down, so take our drugs away, and please allow us to be the psych ward santa, that’ll be so cool and then as billy sang jingle bells

jesus said *******, I AM SO TIRED and billy watched the nurses work, discovering the naughty and nice, but to not blow his cover billy asked, can i get a pass out

so i can buy some egg nog, i will not be buying brandy and the nurses said, sorry but you are too sick for pass outs and billy through his boot at the door and shattered

the glass and the nurses gave billy some ****** to settle him down and billy went off to his bed and jesus came out and bashed his hand on billy’s door and yelled

YOU LITTLE ****, THERE WASN’T EVER A NORTH POLE and ron brought out the dinners and this time jesus and billy ate their dinners in their room and

in about 1 hour and a half, ron brought out the medications and after that the clocked off and bought wok it up and went home to lose himself in the televised

carols by candlelight from the sidney meyer music bowl hosted by david and lisa and back at the HDU, jesus was watching the carols and so was billy

and every child was happy it seemed receiving presents, but ron still had to play atheist with billy and tom, because for the simple reason, they are going about their santa

duties the wrong way.
An annoying friend sends Tom to be captured in the psych ward


In early April Tom was wanting to be left alone by his mate Danny, who was ringing him up while Tom was trying to enjoy the football, which Danny doesn’t like very much, in fact Danny kept on telling Tom that these football players get involved in dealing drugs
Getting drunk and doing one punch attacks on people and all that talk about all that sent Tom to want some me time at the football but Danny kept on ringing him up as he was trying to enjoy the match and Tom didn’t answer it knowing it will be a lot of totally negative chatter about things he doesn’t want to hear, and he rang Tom 8 times where Tom doesn’t answer because he was trying to watch the footy so after the 8 unanswered calls Danny rang tom’s parents who were in their 70s and wanted to relax and they didn’t need Danny ringing them especially when Tom was just watching a footy game getting his me time but Tom was stressed since then and wanted to escape his life because people kept on annoying him and his parents seemed to agree with Danny more than him which every time Tom talked with his parents since they said you have to be a better friend and talk to him, they were sort of saying that they are getting too old to have friends worry about their son when their son is just having a bit of me time and Tom said to Danny that he went to the footy and enjoyed it and then after they spoke Tom became psychotic in ways where people complained about his behaviour and sent the police to his house but all Tom wanted was a bit of peace and quiet from the discipline of his father and the annoyance of his friend Danny but this wasn’t going to be easy as the police brought Tom to Ron’s psych ward and Ron gave him a brain scan to see if they can find what is making him psychotic and Tom couldn’t watch the footy because a bikie wanted to watch a movie called top gun and Tom yelled out WHY!!!! And the other patients of Ron’s psych ward were teasing Tom because he chose to be ****** than going on a holiday and Tom told Ron his whole story and Ron put him on some new drugs called eppelim and serenace which calmed Tom down but occasionally made Tom talk about his previous lives in which the doctors didn’t believe and the doctors wanted to keep him there till he realises that this isn’t the place to say it, but Tom really believed what he was saying and yelled WHY don’t these people believe me and he went to his room and drew pictures and write stories and he wrote and wrote till his hand was nearly bone and the doctors were trying to make Tom understand that his beliefs about his previous lives aren’t true but Tom yelled saying it is my belief, and you have to respect me and then the next Day Tom watched cool runnings with the bikie but couldn’t tell to the bikie because he was a ****** so he just watched the movie with him silently but after a while the doctors felt sorry for Tom as he was trying to find ways to relax and they wanted to send him to the other psych ward on the other side of town because Ron said he was just wanting to settle down after his creativity and after he left ron’s psych ward he moved to the other ward and the patients said the geek has left us
He has left us yeah and after 3 weeks in that psych ward Tom was released and sent back into society where he had to put up with his annoying mate Danny and then he rang him saying I am out now, but nothing changed, Tom was still wanting to get heaps of me time and he wanted Danny to respect that but Danny still was talking in a negative way to him which made Tom upset and Tom said I don’t like you anymore you are too negative for me, I just want to live a carefree life and Tom still wanted to ring him but then the forces of the cosmos broke his phone which split Tom and Danny up forever and now Tom is still watching sport and Danny his still very negative and Tom didn’t want the negativity in his life anymore while Tom met with Ron once a week to talk about what they have to do to keep him out of his psych ward
I am in my house and I am having fun
Being cool oh yeah it is fun
I don’t want to go to the psych ward mate
Cause that place is for losers
They try and bully you cause their sick
But the best thing Is try and keep well
The psych ward is a rotten place
Nobody there has a pretty face
They are ugly and they are crap
The psych ward has no people taking naps
The psych ward the psych ward
I don’t want to go there
It is full of losers yeah
The psych ward the psych ward
No way in the world it is a happy place
No way it is warm embrace
I say if I go back I will bring my iPad
And stay with the happy family people yeah
But I don’t want to end up there
Cause as I said the place is full of losers yeah
My house makes me happier than the psych ward
In an old place at the edge of the world there was this psych ward where people would go if they can't fit into society
In this psych ward there was Peter yetta who was in there for
Disturbing the peace
You see he had a mental illness for years now and he was in and out of that dreaded place and he played shows in his room forcing people to knock on his door telling him to shut up
Because Peter was a tad too noisy and there was another patient who was John knight
Who was a huge danger to himself because he thinks his life stinks despite his parents saying he should love life
And he mainly sat in his room
Writing suicidal stories which made the staff worry even more
And that is the reason why he isn't allowed to leave John and Peter got on together and then there was tom kennel who was a huge heavy metal fan, so much in fact he wrote stories saying for satan to destroy the world and get rid of the staff and patients in this ward and tom had no friends in there but as a matter of fact he had no mates on the outside either
And tom walked up and down the psych ward yelling I am Satan and I am here to destroy each of your lives
There was this crazy lady who claimed she was kidnapped away from her cats she lives on the outside with but she was totally loopy and she yelled out saying I want to **** Bart Simpson and I want to **** any boy who bonds with their father claiming they are doing guy stuff and she got in fights with all the guys in the ward saying
You put me in here so you could **** my cats and her name was Rita smoothe and she hated her life and everything about this ward and young 18 year old Simon, oh well what can we say about him he held his entire college at gunpoint saying I want you all to die and he refused to sleep in his room
Because he thought the boogy man was after him when he slept and if anyone made heim go to his room he would become very violent with anyone who is around at the time sometimes they left him and sometimes they would call in the guards and lock him in
Isolation for about 4 days Simon yelled saying help help kidnap kidnap but nobody listened and I was trying to get up and I felt like I was going to die, it seems I am stuck in this psych ward and these crazy patients forever and it could be
That I have diabetes and not much time left or it could be
My experiences in the psych ward were bad and I don't want to go back
You see my nose in blocked and
I am being pushed out of my dreary life by the forces that made me mentally ill
I want to finish and do many more tapestries before I die
I am trying to get out and walk
I feel pretty good
Like a real family person should
I feel itches in my stomach of the angels pf the psych ward
Trying to say don't return to the psych ward because it is bad
And you will meet people like these **** in here
standing on the inside looking out, the psych ward story




standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

you see i was visioning i was in glenelg bay

but instead you get doctors saying how are you enjoying your day

i wished i was well and enjoying my life

instead of being in here wasting away

then i called out to almighty god

and the best i can get is a man who claims he is jesus christ

i said, no, were you nailed to the cross

and he said yeah after i rode in on my horse

and i said wasn’t it a donkey you ran in on and i was

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

i was getting bored, so i asked the nurse

to give me a pass out to the cafe

because i was starting to lose my mind

and when they said no i let out a little wine

i said please please please, mate, this place is driving me mad

the inmates here, smell really really bad

so the nurse made me a banana smoothie and i said thanks

and took it away to my bed, walking past every room before mine

i even tripped over a piece of fishing line

then i sat down in my glenelg bay apartment sipping my smoothie saying

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

dinner time came and i had fish and chips

it was ever so discusting, ya know like hospital food

i opened my orange juice and gave it one almighty sip

and i ate my chocolate mousse, yeah it is as tasty as

when dinner was over i went to the TV room

to watch the news and home and away

then some dude came into watch it with me

and he said, did you know i was GOD, i said, no

as i sat there thinking i was

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward in the psych ward

in the psych ward trying to get bet-ter

— The End —