Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Gilhooley had ordered a meeting
Everyone had to come round
St. Patricks day will be upon us
And a venue just has to be found

We have to find somewhere authentic
Our normal old pub just won't do
We can't celebrate with the punters
Where the beer isn't green, it's dyed blue

Gilhooley awaited suggestions
It had to be somewhere close by
There were all sorts of names on the table
So they decided to give them a try

It needed to be "somewhat old Irish"
with no dee jay, and a folky type band
they had to have red headed women
And a barman, with drinks poured and at hand

The first place they went was McKenna's
It seemed like a great place at first
but the service was slower than treacle
and a man would just die here of thirst

They found one that looked rather Irish
It was known as the new *** of gold
it had a rainbow outside on the awning
this should have been a warning fortold

the next one they tried was a classic
The green and gold tavern....a hit
but, it was booked on the day for a party
and this didn't please them one bit

they finally found one to their liking
full of guineess and pretty colleens
a punjabi bar by the  name of  ben doury's
where everything was curried and green

it was a party that no one remembered
that meant that it must have been good
nobody went to the jailhouse
even though three or four of them should

The beer and the curry were epic
the singing was like nothing we'd heard
a sitar and cymbal based trio
played so loud that nothing was heard

Gilhooley said next year we have to
come back here and do it again
It was the best St. Patty's ever
most of them passed out by ten

The next time you go out to party
call Ben Doury, the place is  spot on
the food and the beer are one colour
with a Punjabi Mumbai Leprachaun
You see after all i my mates laughed at me for being a little ****** kid

there was one friend called lyle who wanted to be my friend at school

and i at that time, thought this friend was cool, seeing i knew nobody else

but we had fun together, like a dream made me understand,that we used

to play basketball at the local courts which i thought was cool, and it would’ve

been nice, if my other school mates would join in, but we did play games

with other kids who dropped in, i just had a dream, where my mate the messiah

came in and taught me how to become respected enough to make it to hollywood

and before you say it, i know he isn’t my daddy, but i was a daddy figure to him

letting him stay at my house, you see we went to the movies and top floriade

and also to the national multi cultural festival, and the messiah said, instead of

shop food, how about you have multi cultural food, yeah, it’s tasty, hey, we also

went to each others houses, i had him sleep over, but i never slept over there,

mainly because, i have caused a lot of problems expecting to sleep over in my childhood

you see lyle came in my dream last night to show me the ***** cool kid, in the form of the messiah

he made the messiah, buy all these tickets to expensive events, like maybe a soccer game

between barcelona and ajax, yeah i used to joke with him, and we saw a stand up comedy event, and we find

that kind of thing very funny, but i heard the witch doctor who killed my previous life patrick dunbar

saying, hang on, are you the guy from the charnwood inn, and he told men to shut up, and i said

leave me alone, i am a family person, i don’t need the crazy demented witch doctor kidnapping my cool kid

the witch doctor, is trying to steal my mate patricks voice saying, i am not a cool kid, to make me too scared

and i really wanted a mate, and lyle was the only young bloke who gave a ****, like take me to bet on the footy

once we turned 18, but in school, we went to the footy and going over to each other’s houses, to play cricket or footy, and mate

lyle was a really big wild boy, he was, ya know a fast bowler and a tough footballer, and i tried to keep fit, so i can

outclass him, and i think i succeeded, but ya know, if you ******* a mate like lyle, he will get cranky, cause he has a

problem worth anger, we also slept in the backyard tent, where lyle said, i ain’t scared of the old boogie woman

but, i was wanting cool friends, as he liked the idea of going to bed early, and my family and lyles family all got together

and talked to each other, and i enjoyed my conversations with lyles mum, mind you, there were moments, where i was

scared to go over, because, i feel if i **** people off, i will have no friends, i remember me and lyle used to be big eaters

but, i don’t want to eat like that no more, because, i don’t want any blood clot, mind you i still eat a lot, but i write and do art

because i need to do things with my art, so my eating doesn’t get the better of me, there is more to brian allan than eating

too much, me and lyle were like two cool people playing bingo, and that was cool, you see,in my dream, my mum packed

a whole case of cakes, for me to share with all the young dudes at the festival, but the messiah felt uneasy and said i don’t want

to be a kid, he said he wants to fucken grow up, but i can’t understand why, he is telling me to grow up, and i hate the idea

of being treated like i am trying to be like other people, like my brother, i am like brian, just me, brian allan, i had fun with lyle

despite him being a loud mouth wild person who liked the idea of picking fights with everyone, but i have to understand

i ******* a lot of people, but this dream shows, all the fun times, i did a horrible crime, but i still think that it was my belief

of being greame thorne and pastrick diunbar in my previous life, being taken too young, was the reason of all my crazy person crimes

and dad couldn’t except i had a mental illness, and either can my old school mates, you see i ignored patrick at the st george bank

in the mall, and i heard him say get ****** brainy, like he was worried, why isn’t brian talking to me, and i said to pat, hi pat and

patrick went sarcastically hi brian, your brother isn’t around anymore, brian, we don’t have to be nice to you, i had fun with patrick

and lyle as well, in the new years eve concert to end the 1980s, me patrick and lyle went to the belconnen soccer club for the

end of the 80s nye party, and me and patrick and lyle had a few XXXX’s, and i got drunk and crashed over patricks house

and i crashed over patricks house, too much, patrick got sick of the fucken sight of me, i can understand in hindsight, that

i ****** him off, so i annoyed the mall crowd, and i was invited to a party, but because of the party i had at my house, where

my dad played taxi driver to all my drunken mates, and i wasn’t really a good host, because, i prefer the laid back lifestyle

partying out in the firehouse nightclub and the private bin in front of youtube, and i would love a televised youtube nye bash

on youtube, but they don’t, so i made my own nye bash, and it was pretty radically successful as well, i have still got my cool

jeans on, from those days, but i am a talented entertainer and actor now, and as much fun as i had with patrick and lyle,

those days are in the past, i am moving on now,

my granny took me to bingo too, my nanny watched the end of the 70s nye concert with me

i remember when jimmy barnes through beer cans at a concert at alberton oval, adelaide

yeah, totally radical dudes
Star BG Mar 2019
I am not IRISH,
but on Saint Patricks Day
I be one tall and strong.

One to appreciate Irish music,
and dance with
Celtic Thunder.

Where I wear Green
and wave flag honoring
the country grand.

One to have button
saying Kiss Me I'm Irish
and wait for one openly.

Where I turn TV onto
parade to cheer happily
inside day.

One to breath deep
and speak with
learned Irish accent delicately.

I am not IRISH
but full of celebration
for date of March 17th
dear to heart.

Perhaps in next life, I shall be.
Happy Saint Patricks day ALL
Judypatooote Feb 2015
St. Patricks Day is when
everything turns green...
Just look down the street,
and you'll see what I mean...
There's green in the windows
and green on the doors...
And people with green shirts
and green hair to adore...
People that celebrate
by drinking green beer...
And laughing and singing
for it's been a whole year...
It's the luck of the Irish
that's what I hear...

by ~ Judy
I wrote this a couple of years ago...took down the Valentine and up went the shamrock
The Saturn Ball, on Saturday June 8th, 2013




You see kids nowadays are having so much fun and these kids
Are inspired by the great Saturn Ball which was started by Peter
Sargent, and Scott McDonald, whose current earth lives are
Enjoying psrying together as well as tying each other up, and
On Saturn, Peter and Scott are having a big party where they
Had dancing girls like Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Montgomery
And also Dana Reeves as well,,and Peter Sargent is as *****
As a toad, and he is trying to get in the head of Brian Allan, because
He liked how Brian was nice to him before he died, and to get into
His head in the form of his best friend Patrick, you see Peter
Sargent died to get into Brian's head to make sure he doesn't poo
His pants, because I actually was cool to his point of view
When he saw me in the Page Tavern all the years ago
And it was about that time, when Patricks voice was getting
Into full swing, and it was driving me crazy miss daisy
Before then Scott McDonald died and also got into Brian's head
And he chose Patrick's voice as well, but he was the voice saying
Brian is not like us, Brian is not like us,,Chris used to be like us
When he was really really young, but Brian isn't like us,no way,,no fear
The thing is, Peter and Scott aren't worried how they use these voices
They just want to make Brian be cool to a young dudes point of view
Because, Scott thought Patrick was weird, and didn't want to be
In the same room as him, and despite me trying to talk to him
Scott wanted just to tease me, cause I wanted to be like Patrick
And there was only one opportunity and that was to die and get unti
Brian Allans brain and push Patrick's voice trying to tease him
Scott said, I am not a family person anymore, I want Brian to suffer
So we'll turn Patrick against him by holding our own Saturn ball
And Patricks voice was also Peter Sargent trying to put into Brian 's
Head that Patrick was Joining the young dudes
To tease Brian, I couldn't understand this, and I said
Leave me alone Pat, but his voice was Peter Sargent
Saying to Patrick, you are like us, and Brian Allan is a little shy boy
Who has no known friends, anyway, Patrick is the innocent party
He still likes me, you know it was Peter Sargent who planted his
Voice from the sound of Patricks voice to bug the **** out of Brian
But the main reason was that, Brian had it give up beer
And work on himself, and eventually he will figure it out
Peter Sargent, and Scott McDonald, who got into
Brian's brother Chris's voice in trying to make Chris doing what I did with Patrick
Which means Patrick mucked with Chris as he would muck with me
But hello, it was really Peter Sargent and Scott McDonald
And in the last two days, Peter Sargent and Scott McDonald are
Holding the first ever Saturn Ball, and everyone is partying all night
And Peter Sargent is pushing onto his brain, and the earth life
I somewhere on earth going through a lot of trouble
Peter Sargent cracked open the wine bottle and everyone partied
Judypatooote Mar 2014
St. Patricks Day is when
everything turns green...
Just look down the street,
and you'll see what I mean...
There's green in the windows
and green on the doors...
And people with green shirts
and green hair to adore...
People that celebrate
by drinking green beer...
And laughing and singing
for it's been a whole year...
It's the luck of the Irish
that's what I hear...

by ~ Judy

— The End —