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Anthem  Dec 2016
TongueTied.../
Anthem Dec 2016
and you find yourself alone again
you realize that this isn't a phase
it's the overwhelming trend

there's miles still to go
and days before you sleep
it's been 27 years and
you still don't know what it is you need

your neck cramps up
your back aches
your eyes burn
your hand shakes

you say you don't care
but oh, you do
repeat til they all believe
but you know it's never been true

get home
find they're all gone
dry your eyes
and drive on
A-McIntyre  Sep 2021
TongueTied
A-McIntyre Sep 2021
i speak in poems which cannot be translated by anyone to date.
the line of words, rushing out, twisting and turning.
metaphors and similes that cannot be compared.
i can personify my emotion, and ground myself into ash,
Embers falling all around me,
And nobody hears my voice.
THE CHALLENGE
(Day 3)
For many years I've fought to numb this pain
Each time I see you I break down again
Since that day you vowed you must know me, nothing has been the same...

Today I ran into you again
It's glaring nothing has changed

You are yet to be cured of the selective amnesia you only have when it comes to the sordid story of You & I
Still you can't look me for a micro second in the eye

You still tell that story so well, you must have found a pearl of your version of truth in your haystack of a lie,

Now you even got a daughter and a wife?
Have you really turned a new leaf, started a good life?
Or maybe you're just as good at this as your truthful lies.
I hate myself for letting you leave alive
How I turned a coward at the dying minute
Why I dropped that knife. I should have dropped it in you just above your last rib.

Could it have ended this rife?

Today when I was greeted by your wife
With a cheerful smile and a warm embrace
I wanted to tell her you are a disgrace
Tell her all you'd done but I couldn't, who was I to touch His anointed, a child of grace
I was the unsaved and angry, always allowing the devil to use me as a source of strife.

No one would believe me anyway
Every one I tried to tell in the past shut me up with a stern look as they wished me away.

Why didn't I turn on the light when you said I shouldn't
Maybe the size of that humongous sin that tore and filled me within would have scared me screaming into the night until someone came and told me it was alright but I was tonguetied all through the night

You said it was cause you loved me and I knew love was right
This one time love felt wrong worse than these words I'm fighting hard to write

You robbed me at six,
Of a cradle I was only familiar with yet so much I miss

I still cringe when they talk about ***
Remember, the last time you visited and took my number saying you'd call?
Never again did I imagine for your wiles I'd fall
But I fell for your lies again in desperate hope praying you'd call or text
Saying you're sorry cause you were a mess
But you really are a mess and lies are your emblem, deceit your crest
Do you really have peace? Do you ever find rest?

Look how you walked in today!
Your aunt's favorite nephew whom she had called to pray, unknown to her on her daughter you'd preyed.

Tirelessly for this one she'd waited upon and toiled
And that's the one you chose to soil?
Her essence, your spoil?

Oh Saul! How do you pretend to be a saint like Paul
All you've done is taint that pulpit you climb when you ought to be sent back to the pit from whence you came so maybe your cold heart might get warm from it's heat

I see how protective you are of that daughter you dote
How much this I loathe
The raging anger bloats

And some days I pray that like me someone right before your eyes will rob you and tear her up like you did me
The thought of it fills me with glee

Other days I wanna be there while I wish this dread upon you and watch you plea like I did for him to set her free...

Others days I pray for you
I pray when I say I forgive you it really will be true

But right now
I wanna be your guillotine
I wanna slice you thin
Watch you bleed
Bleed to death as to the vultures your carcass I leave to feed.

For your remains the earth will reject
And maybe even maybe your carcass the vultures and crow might neglect

r3d
17:27
27/10/17

#roadtorecovery
#everythingipretendtobe
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#firesofr3d

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