As a child I never knew the colour of my skin made a difference to the person within
I never looked at myself wishing I was someone else
I never had to stand in line or in a place sat behind
I never had to take a seat, at the back that was there only for me
No one ever refused to serve me because my hair was black and curly
No one ever made a joke because my eyes had a *****
I never had to appologise for the colour I was inside but judged on the outside
That's because my skin is white and hides all of me that's inside
It hides the struggles my forebears had for being foriegn and blended black
A mix that was made from love alone when someone said enoughs enough!
So the colour of a loving heart that joins another to give a child is all in all who we are
No white no black just what's inside and no more from fear should we hide
Look inside we are so much more than a label another put on us
Close your eyes we are all the same
Is it so hard for you to love that way?

Its what"is"
Thats the only
Thing relevent
The only thing
Thee...... ......only......
Right now ..... stone cold sober......
Im sure i could be
..........and i know ....ya know.......
**** man i dont know ........
I take that back
I know this ......
Oh it hurts though ......I aint tryin to bring anybody down ........
I appologise
...guess this is sorta anonymous.....i mean no ones gonna see this ...snot and tears
And the ugly face all grimmaced and red barkin convulsive like hungry seal.......
Askin stupid **** outloud over and over .
As i sit here alone in my ex wifes room ......
After just loosing my father..........
On the anniversary of loosing my mother ........
Its new years day ...........at noon........
My ex "Is " still out with her new.      
(*******)
Lover ....oh .I
No.........I
Know this "is"
How my love goes ...........
I sit here with our Son.......
Hes so amazing ...Im so proud ....its hard not
To let him see me cry .  ...
It just. ........."IS"

You are pushing me
Right into what I wanna be.
Nice guy gone bad
Lost every ounce of logic
Or intelligence
I may have had
Mad
Ape man  animalistic
No quick movements
Or loud noises
Running on
Basic instinct
Registered in 13 precinct.

At the apex
What comes next?
Lost time .
Blank spots in my mind
And what I see is the effects
****** faces.......ambulances
..............me...............
Fleeing......
Cops chasing
Detectives ******
Runnen scenarios.
An
Askin me who am i
Whatcha up to
Whom I down with ?
Where i been.
Whats my set .
Name some friends
Same questions in different ways again n again  
Wanna trip me up
I keep sayin the same thing
I wasnt there
I dont do that .i dont know them you got the wrong guy
I dont know what you mean
Can i go now please .
Dont leave town .....
Wouldnt dream of it Detective
I couldnt even if i wanted to
I got bodies to bury before you connect me to those ones to


denying I tried warnin ya
You wouldnt listen
I got 30 years pain
Bottled up rotting inside
Jezzebels ,
Infidels
Haters.......
Bounty hunters
County PD
profiling m
Investigators
Menacing messing with me
Testin me stoppin teasin
Stressin
No confession
Learn a lesson
Dont go flexin
Smith an wesson
357
187
On 7nth.....
Sorry ........
I cant Appologise
Lies
Stupidity
Casualties
On your knees
I know you love me
Thats what you say
But what you do is runaround on me.......clown n me all over town .
You got me down
Done me *****
Short skirt
Flirty
Ohhh shorty
Look what cha gone did
Brung out the killa in me....
Oh no
So here we go
You set me off
Im havvin an episode
Face down on the floor......
Settle up
Even the score
Evening news
Catch it first
Channel 4
Annnnnnnn roll em.      
Pay the toll
Outa controll
Hollow
Gotta go
Fade to black
The mac
Aint lookin back
Amf
Im goin solo
Nother time
Nother day
Nother town
Nother name
Nother dame
Wont be the same
Game
This time ill be legit
Wellllllll ya
Right after one
Good come up

After that den
Den dats it

Thats whats up


How you dooin
Youre lookin good !

0 degrees outside
She ......
All hot and bothered.....
Awkwardly
Comes trippin in.
Her arms overly full of words stacked.
Given me that look of,
WHAT?

want ,
Rejection? disbelief !
Youre an *******,
And well ?
Arent you gonna help me?
Stumbles and stops .
Throws hands
Folds her arms
Turns sideways.
Thrusts her head back and looks the
Opposite way.
Blows a contemptuous
Burst of air out of flared nostrils.
And and says
With a snotty tone . ...
I dont know why i have to say it.
K
Ya knaw what
Im Sorry ....
But
Blah blah blablaw......and thats my fault how?
Im not doin this
.this is your fault!

...
"Uhm ...
Was that an apology ?".....is what i said in my head ..
What i said out loud was
"What .....
Ohhhhh
Hah!
O......I......C
Heh hehheh.
You want me to
Apologise?
R u serial right here..........
O........k.......
I can definitely do that.....
O...k.....
im sorry .. .
But i cant appologise for that..
There ......
Better now?"

And outside those thin beautiful walls
The stupidity continues.
All from a misconstrued
Cellphone message...
Neither would listen
Neither would give in
They would rather let love die
Why ...
Cant anyone love each other
Enough
To understand
We cant hold our partners
To higher standards
Than we hold ourselves to
No we need the opposite
And thats what we dont do
And the reason we complain about our day to day
To the only one who will listen
Is weve already
Smoked off all the ears anyone else who would pretended to have given a damm.
So turning the one lover u have left into a captured phycological abducted and held hostage
Torture victim

Did I do enough
When you were here?
Did I cherish every moment
Like it could be your last?
Did I smile enough
To make you feel wanted?
Did I show my love enough
To let you know it was there?

No.
I didn't.
And for that, I sincerely appologise.
But I can't do anything about it now.
Because you're gone,
And I'm too late.