rarely do you wake up with your father in pain, stomach... so what the hell happened you ask? ate some sausage, best-before-date 20.1.2017... no wonder! but it was frozen and recently defrosted! so you just tuck into that **** raw? yeah yeah, should have poached it. like hell you should have! so he runs me an errand, can you make me rosół? no problem paps. i'll give you the money, run me this errand. you taken any no spa pills? yes yes, well thank **** for that.
ugh, soups of england, soups in england,
what an ugly sight,
no soup pasta in them,
and all of them look like mud holes,
or shambos (the pits of **** in rural areas) -
can we get some clarity in them, please?!
and this one is a classic,
its a clear chicken soup,
contested between both jews and poles,
from times immemorial...
you get a chicken, cut off the *******
to use for an idea for tomorrow,
and then you chuck the remaining corpus
into water, pour water to the brim of the ***,
throw in a bay leaf, peppercorns,
five allspice meteor,
and a few teaspoons of all-purpose
seasoning: namely / mainly salt...
then you get some carrots,
garlic, a whole onion, leeks,
celery, a parsnip, and fresh parsley,
and then you cook slowly,
until all the fat runs off the chicken,
and a bit like pouring a pint of guinness,
you wait for at least two hours,
until the almost brine water,
turns into a golden colour,
but that's it!
then you boil some angel hair pasta,
and there you go: a clear chicken soup -
dubbed the medicine soup,
it's actually now even called a soup,
it's actually called by its name as a separate
category within the category of soup,
i'll try to write you the name without
the native diacritical markings...
rosół = and this is by best approximate:
(rho-sew) - yes, that verb participle of
the act of sewing - as: prompt (enforced
labour: sew! sew!) -
no, sowing as in rho-sow doesn't cut it...
like that prolonged sound of disgust
with eww / eew... however you write
oh and ooh...
can't think of an easier chicken soup
recipe, but *******, it's tasty...
and heavens above: it's not a typical english
soup of just plain dumb creamy:
creamy tomato, creamy mushroom, creamy this,
creamy that, **** it, let's just skip
the entree, eat the main, and get stuck into
the choc cake and custard...
when i eat a soup, i want to see the bottom
of the bowl...
the garlic and onion are crucial,
and yes, you plop the onion in a whole,
like all the other veg (obviously cut up slightly)...
nothing simpler, but you need to slowly
cook the **** thing until you get this
diluted amber colour...
and you definitely need a lot of fresh parsley,
and angel hair pasta...
fine spaghetti, after all,
it's not a chinese noodle soup...
and before going to bed i asked him:
any better? yes, better...
so we finished watching the nail-biting
poland vs. montenegro game... 2 nil up,
2 - 2, and then magic in the space of 10 minutes,
almost feels like 1974: 4 - 2.
so i asks him one last time:
can you drink a glass of cognac with that
medication? no answer, a grunt...
you know, the scots call ms. amber the maiden
of the bowels... have a warm glass of
cognac, to burn that bug out...
and he goes: did you know that eating
a polish sausage can **** you?
yeah, it's called a *kiełbasa jad (tenacious d -
etymological explanation -
kieł- i.e. canine, -basa [baza] i.e. base -
based on canines - tearing into it,
carnivorous implication, my bet) -
so he says:
yeah, you leave the sausage in a warm place,
esp. in sunshine, and it turns into
a venomous snake, can **** you,
starts fermenting a venom akin
to an asp...
so i reply: well, next time stop being so
****** greedy, and if you're in the mood,
at least poach the **** thing!
he might not be drinking the prescribed
cognac... (insert snigger):
but sure as **** i'm drinking the whiskey.