Clinging to the highest branch, the sloth closes her eyes and hangs
The life below scurries and runs never slowing down
The sloth sleeps and eats, aiming for convenience
But the slow life can get dull sometimes, this sloth had a hint of adventure
She considered leaping with monkeys or singing with the parrots
One morning she was in luck, awoke with a wide eyed shock
The worm hole swirled black and psychedelic, the sloth inched her mossy hand towards the hole

Spat out in another jungle, things looked the same at first
Until she saw a giant with a long neck crash through the trees with ease
Followed by his herd sweeping a path towards the clearing
Birds with teeth and orange feathers glided from trunk to trunk
The sloth closed her eyes, maybe it’s a dream?
But rest was far in the past, it was time to abandon her namesake
Shimmying in slow mo along the canopy
She reached out for a long object for a short break
The tree turned around with a friendly face
The tree was a parasaurolophus!

He honked his hello and his friends did too
Then a squawk could be heard from the jungle darkness
The para looked up in worry, snorted warm air through his large nostrils
The sloth had no choice but to hold on tight to the dinosaur’s neck
As he galloped like a horse weaving in and out of trees
This is what it feels like, thought sloth, to move with speed
They crashed through the bracken and waded through pools
Until the para braked and mooed and so the ground shook
The vibrations tickled sloth’s *** belly, what little energy
Toxic leaves gave had all but worn away
She grabbed at ate a random leaf, a giant pronged monster of a leaf
It was tasty. The para’s call was answered by that same deep squawk and coo
And through the undergrowth it burst, a creature with iridescent black feathers and blue specks
Stood as tall as an emu but was built like a chicken
“We have no time to waste, we must make haste!
There is a trike half dead slumped by the lake
If we ride we can reach it in time
And I will feast first on its remains!”

The dinosaur cooed and hopped onto the para’s back
Then he turned around and saw the sloth
Who just lifted her head and smiled weakly, with mouth full of browse
“hellooooooooo?” her eyes opened finally as if just awoken
The dino turned away and slapped the side of his stead’s neck
And off they raced again
At the lake there was another giant
With a collar of ruffles like a Georgian dandy
And a beak like a parrot, flopped open with a blue dead tongue lolling
“Want some?” The dino said to the sloth, holding out some fat he’d torn off
Sloth stuck out her tongue in disgust, the dino just shrugged

“My name is Doe Doe, what on earth are you?”
“I’m Slothie and same could be said for you!”
How they could speak the same language, I do not know
But just go along with me on this one!
Doe Doe munched and chewed and slurped at the Trike’s insides
And cut away a chunk with his makeshift knife
He flicked his head here and there, he could hear danger
And so they rode again, to let the other dromaeosaurs eat their share

He lamented to sloth about his birdlike brethren
They talked about inane subjects and gossiped like hens
They were all a bit stupid and he was too good for them
Sloth fought to stay awake through his verbal tirade
This smartarse bird reminded her of a human

“I want... toooo… shooooow you somethiiiing” the sloth said
Anything would do to change the subject
“Riiiiide over to the … left where the giants made… paths
Theeerrrrrre you will see... a bit black vortexxxx, and that is how I got here
Don’t take your horrrrrrse… because the peoplllle won’t like ittt”
Doe Doe was intrigued and he did as he was told
And finally they approached the now shrinking hole
Sloth clung to his back and he ran, then leaped like a chicken
With his wings outstretched, and found himself in 2011!

In the distance houses replaced trees and no dinos were to be seen
This small pocket of forest hid them for now
But it won’t be long before they’d venture out
Sloth directed him as she clung on still, she took him to the centre of town
They visited shops and cafes and cinemas and there
Doe Doe discovered pizza. He stuffed the gooey cheese dough into his face
Sloth thought it best to stick to bitter fruit and leaves
“What are these animals?” He asked that day, pointing out the humans around him
“These are humans, I learned to live among them but I’m a sloth still
They are apes with not much fur and they make a lot of noise
Often seen with childlike canines who hang onto their every phrase
They give me free food but they’re not good for much else”
Doe Doe agreed, other Balours were also a hindrance
They stole his food and he had to compete
So he found his friend the para, whom he named Dilan
Maybe the 2000s could be fun? After-all they do have pizzas
So Sloth suggested he visit more often, and he did
The end. :3

I see Sloth from “The Goonies”
whenever I see you.
You softly ask me to make love
but I hear “Baaaby Ruuuuth?”

Maybe it's your crooked teeth
or your rancid funk.
When you say you love me so
it comes out “Sloth love Chunk!”

I see Sloth from “The Goonies”
when we go socialize.
And when you greet our many friends,
you're saying “HEY YOU GUUUYS!”

Maybe it's the way you grunt
or just your lazy eye.
But when I'm having *** with Sloth
it makes me want to die.