My conscience
That has been there
Since I was four
Making sure
That I wasn't in trouble

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Long, straight brown hair
Chocolate eyes
Freckles cover her face
Extremely tall

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Shy, but outgoing
Depending on who's around
Impossible to stay mad at
Makes bad choices
From time to time

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin


Silent treatments
Loud fights
Best Friends

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

She is a rock
She is string
She holds things together
She calms the sea
Or starts a storm

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Embarrassing moments
Weird looks
Always crazy
She gets through the bad things
Helps start the good

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Puzzles, swim team
Life changing
Life calming
Starts Chaos
She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Two sides
Same coin
Same person
Different personalities
Quiet in public
Crazy in not

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Keeps things going
She is a bank
A bank of secrets
She keeps the vault
Locked

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

She is like a storm
And the calm before it
Chaos and control




She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Listens to music
Like the rest of the world
But yet, doesn't conform
At least not completely

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Easily molded
But not easily shaped
She is not always there
Yet she is


She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

She taught me
That I
Didn't have
To be
Completely
Alone

I wear a double sided mask
so that I appear as desired
an yet I feel this feelings
with wich I cannot relate
because the mask is double sided
and it doesn't match
so I turn the volume louder than my thoughts
no sleep no more
and escape without end
these worlds, these people
they are better than this
than me
STOPSTOPSTOP these thoughts
I scream internally
why can't I be like the mask?
the double sided mask
it is better than this
than me
up the volume goes again
the base resonating in my ears
drowning the thoughts
numbing the feels
trimming the sleep
charging the escape
escape
escape is all I know

in the end
the volume
grew the thoughts
the thoughts of violence
to myself
to my surroundings
mentally
torturing myself
and killing my sleep
my sanity
my grades
grades
do I care anymore?
yes says the mask
the double sided mask
no says the voice
the dark voice in the back of my head
and i
I don't know
not anything
not
a
single
thing


I
I want to be myself
but who
is this self
I ask
as I look trough the mask
the doublde sided mask
to the wall
the wall i've built

the mask is uncomfortable
i've outgrown the mask
the double sided mask
once, the mask was my face
and my face was the mask
but my face started changing
while the mask kept staying
someday i'd  outgrow the mask
that day
is long gone
but the mask
the double sided mask
the mask is familiar
the mask is consistent
the mask is desirable
but my face?
I ask the mask facing me
no lies the mask
the double sided mask
I know it's true
why else would I wear the mask?