I flew so fast, racing down towards my demise.
My pride was injured, that is all.
No need to cry now.
When I fell, no one was there to catch me...
They let me get cut and bruised.
I never wanted to feel this way.
They made me curse and shout and deny their "wrong"
But truth be told, I wasn't right either.
When up so high on that power of smugness,
I took a hard fall and crashed down from my pedistal...

Paralysis of the heart
The lifeblood of my mind
Behind it pulls apart
To find a pulse in hiding

It had been beneath me
A gentleness to the world
But untangled, untwirled
I fell from the pedistal
Into a tender ocean below

Now I sink beyond the water
Landing deeper than creation
Volumes rise above
To the pedistal I once loved

Others welcome me
And I sit to drink their wine
With every sip I smile
Leaving decadence behind

Don't name drop __, they wanna hear your name drop
I know you're *******, but that won't make the pain stop
Your friends are in battles too, thats why they pop,
Rethink this, this isn't something you should adopt
They say fight fire with fire, but if life so cold
Where do you find it to inspire and fight the new with the old
Drown out the night
But I can't drown out the knight
In ****** armor on the mic
Mi amor that I spite

Sippin on *** 'n monster hoping I don't go bonkers
Yonkers playing in the background as I ponder
and let my mind wander
Wonder why I'm squandering the time,
I could be making money and conquer
But my psyche doesn't concur, because life is somber
And I stay up thinking I can make the next Midnight Marauders
It's 4 am and I'm wishing life was longer
Eyes set on the calendar because our time is numbered
Thundering white Walter, water drips from the ceiling of my bunker
Bombs bombard it, I'm surprised I'm not drunker off this alter
I'm on a pedistal and my perception has altered
Now my personality has a septum, a couple I can use as fodder
Hopefully I can find a mentor to call me his grasshopper
Much needed like a jumper for this one-dimensional dunker
Drumming up my sadness like it's not like any other
You can throw shade, but I can make your day brighter

I'm a lot of things, but mostly a warhawk with synesthesia.
The sight of my enemies dropping is like symphonies, analgesia.
No mother, no father, your little boy isn't going through schizophrenia
That's just what's needed for me reach euforia
If I cut it up, rinse my face and change it to not seem displaced
I can cut a deal with my friend and maybe get me something laced
Wait, this isn't the time and place, don't be your own disgrace
Grace was your safeguard, no need to kick up the pace

Pacemakers for the worried, just incase
Peacemaker at heart, man I try to embrace

On the stool
A pedistal for the fool hearted
Jilted and the shamed.
Made out to be the villian
In the drama you named
"Life"

On the stool, perched and poised
To lift one more glass with the boys
But they're not here
To gaze on him

On the stool
Head in one hand
Brew clenched hard
As the few drops left
Hit the sandy tongue

On the stool
Belly full of forgetfulness
He stands
To **** away his hopes
Of being with you
Getting accustomed to
"Alone"

On the stool
Consuming another glass or forgotten memories
Will he ever leave this place
Of shame and disgrace
And open the doors to face
The cold yet familiar embrace
Of failure and be left with the taste
Of stale beer and old tobacco?

The dawning of a new day
My day, 
My kinda tempo
My kinda heat
The truth was a loose noose hung about your necks. A careless foothold on the dire situation and my how the trip ups were a complex, spectacular mess!
One went down after the next ******* by the same lies.
A quiet kind of constricting at first,
now youre all kicking over your stools trying to clamour back on to your modest little pedistals.
 Its not as hard to watch as i thought it would be for such a God fearing woman. 
    
You have all been seen through my eyes
and are now strangers even by his own blood. 
and as he laid upon the ground to kiss my feet and lay a path to my waiting pedistal
i looked into him deeply and instead lay on the ground next to him. I gently held his hand. i whispered softly asking him to look at the stars with me
and as they twinkled i watched them reflected through his newly washed eyes and found my place again in his heart
my true home

This is me-
Standing before you,
Naked -on a pedistal
This is me my love
this is me

Everyday I fight for you
My love, its getting hard to breathe
Competing with myself, and who you want me to be
This is me, my love
This is me

Kiss me tonight
the way you used to
my love -
Don't say a word
Just hold me like you used to
And accept me

I yearn for your love
Deprived of your passion
I just need you tonight