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anothershrubbery
California    i think this might be my last will and testament.
history, yourstory    “but now finally surrendered to the Great Resignation of Poetry and not the kind of Wise Experience or the false kisses of Competitive Insight, but ...
FindYourselfInOthers
Wisconsin    A musician is simply a poet with an instrument to accompany his pen.

Poems

Allen Wilbert Nov 2013
Some Others

Some people stop, some people go,
others will hide, others will show.
Some people lead, some people follow,
others will spit, others will swallow.
Some people drink, some people smoke,
others will finger, others will stroke.
Some people listen, some people talk,
others will ring, others will knock.
Some people write, some people read,
others will cut, others will bleed.
Some people dumb, some people smart,
others will burp, others will ****.
Some people Facebook, some people Tweet,
others will lie, others will cheat.
Some people ****, some people chew,
others will glance, others will view.
Some people live, some people die,
others will laugh, others will cry.
Some people pitch, some people catch,
others will oppose, others will attach.
Some people want, some people give,
others will forget, others will forgive.
Some people right, some people wrong,
others will flaunt, others will belong.
Some people finished, some people done,
others will end, others will run.
Why do we spend so much time
Thinking about dying
Hurting ourselves
Focusing on pain
Instead of living
Seeking beauty and joy
And focusing on what makes us smile?

Why do we spend so much time
Telling others they are good enough
That they are loved
That they are stronger than they believe
That they are more than what people may say
That they are truly beautiful
Inside and out
Trying to get them to believe they are
Not just to make them feel better
But because they truly are
While we spend so little time
Telling ourselves the same things
Or believing that we, ourselves, are truly beautiful?

Why do we spend so much time
Focusing on those who won’t pay attention
Or those who only give us negative attention
Focusing on those who don’t truly love us
Suffering when they treat us in such ways
And missing them when they are gone
While spending less time
Focusing on those who pay attention
Focusing on those who truly love us
Cherishing the way they treat us
And enjoying the time we have with them?

Why do we spend so much time
Trying to be someone we aren’t
And hating who we are
For anyone who would rather change us
Than to love us as we are
Letting anyone convince us we aren’t good enough
Instead of being who we are
And loving who we are
Knowing we are good enough
No matter who may tell us otherwise
Even if the ones saying so are ourselves?

Why do we spend so much time
Worrying about what others think
Focusing on what others hate about us
And letting what others hate about us
Change the way we should see ourselves
While trying to make the people who don’t care happy
Instead of cherishing what people think
Focusing on what others love about us
Loving ourselves despite who may hate us
Despite what anyone may hate about us
Believing in ourselves
Just as much as we believe in others
Letting the good ways people see us
And what people love about us
Change our focus from self hate
To self love
Despite what anyone
Including ourselves
May hate about us?

Why do we spend so much time
Arguing with people who want us to argue
Hating people who want us to hate
Instead of ignoring those who cannot interact decently
And loving them despite their hatred
Not because of their disrespectful actions
But because they, like us, are still human?

Why do we spend so much time
Saying how we don’t agree
With the way people disrespect
With the way people insult
With the way people try to hurt us
Only to disrespect those who disrespect us
Insulting those who insult us
Hurting those who hurt us
Showing the same disrespects and dishonors
Instead of being the example we want others to be
Despite being treated less than we deserve by anyone?

Why do we spend so much time
Standing together in hatred against those who hate
Instead of standing together in love
Showing them the same love we show each other
Despite their hatred towards us?

Why do we spend so much time
Hating others
Hating ourselves
Disrespecting others
And in doing so, disrespecting ourselves
Instead of loving others as we want to be loved
Loving ourselves as we want others to love us
Loving ourselves as we want others to love themselves
And respecting others
As well as ourselves
The same way we want others to respect us
Even if they do not?

Why do we spend so much time
Judging those who judge us
While saying they have no right to judge
Or trying to stop anyone from speaking freely
While defending our right to speak freely
Condemning them because their words offend us
While justifying ourselves in doing the same?

Why do we spend so much time
Pushing some of those who love us away
All while promoting love
Searching for love
And wondering why we can never find it?

Why do we spend so much time
Opposing such hypocrisy in others
In all the ways that we do
When we are all hypocrites in our own ways?

Why do we spend so much time
Destroying love
Denying love
To ourselves and to others
In all the ways that we do
All the while promoting love
Searching for love
Dreaming of love
Wishing for love?

I wish we knew

I wish we all could see
The true beauty of love

Then maybe we could stop doing these things
To ourselves and to others
Just as we wish others could stop

Maybe we could love ourselves
Just as much as we wish others could love us
Even if they may not

Maybe we could show everyone else
The same love we want them to show us
Even if they do not

Maybe we could respect others
As well as ourselves
The same way we wish others would respect us
Even if they refuse to

Maybe we could be the example
We wish others would be
Even if they won’t

It’s about time we all did
Silence is a hard thing to understand. It has a wide vocabulary, and sometimes rings out so loudly, as if a choir of confusion, that it is nearly impossible to translate. Sometimes it is so void of life that one cannot even hear one’s own heart beating. Silence is never the same twice, for it comes with different emotions and circumstances each time, even if seemingly the same, and it always has something new to unravel, whether it is what we need to hear, what we refuse to hear, or what we’ve been waiting to show, or trying not to show, ourselves or another, all along. Silence can be an ever changing friend, or an unrelenting enemy. No matter the form or fashion, silence is, and will forever remain, the most welcome and unwanted part of our lives.

It is an often overlooked truth that silence can be anything but. The voices echoing within the vastness between one ear and the next are still far more audible than anything exhaled amidst a mixture of lips, teeth, and tongue, so that even when we are not speaking our mind, the mind is speaking, even if only to the soul attached to it, speaking volumes silently as they translate into emotion and action, or the lack thereof, creating a vocabulary of gesture and expression, but also of stillness and blankness, woven together in both intricacy and complication, losing nothing in translation of language, but sometimes losing much in the heart’s translation of emotion to and from a soul other than its own.

Emotions are each a different language in themselves, for each has their own gestures, expressions, and blank stillness. The mind learns new languages by hearing and reading and teaches the mouth and fingers to translate from thought to spoken or written word, and it depends upon the exposure and the depth of study and experience in any given language as to which we become more or less fluent in, both in speaking and in understanding. It is much the same with the heart. It learns each new language of emotion by the experience of feeling, and depending on the depth and experience with each, the heart becomes more fluent in some over others, and sometimes one over any other. But, it is the relationship between the mind and the heart that truly allows us to understand these feelings, in others as well as in ourselves.

We say that it is the heart that guides us. We say to follow our heart. We say that our heart has been broken, or that it has been made whole. We say that our heart hurts, our heart leaps, skips a beat, races, that is swells and that it grows cold, or one of any other descriptive analogies. It is often what we feel inside our chest that dictates what we decide upon in our minds in any given thing of emotional importance. Poetry, literature, art, everyday speak, and even actions and expressions project and profess what it is that we feel in our hearts at any given instance or in any given circumstance. But, this is merely the hearts reaction to what our minds perceive in any given emotion of circumstance.

It is the depth of the understanding of any given thought or idea, fact or fiction, that ties into the emotional in any way or on any level for each of us individually. Depending upon what we think and believe about any given thing, it will have a different reaction in each of us depending on how important or unimportant it may be to each of us based on our individual way of thinking. The differences between what each of us considers important or unimportant has an influence on how each of us feels about any given thing or circumstance. It is our feelings about what and how we think and what we understand (or sometimes believe we understand) that are the basis, the origins, and the essence of our emotions.

The mind could not function if not for the heart performing its own function. In turn, the heart could not function if not for the mind. They are dependent upon one another. They are slave to one another. As long as the two continue to function together in any conscious state of awareness (or in some unconscious states), the mind literally controls the heart and the heart literally sustains and obeys the mind. The mind may decipher and understand what the heart feels in reaction to its thoughts, but it is the heart that feels it. This is why we speak of the heart and not the mind in almost every instance of emotion. This, however, does not mean that everyone’s mind understands the heart's obedience to the emotions created by the thoughts it produces, just as most do not realize it is the heart’s physical reaction in emotion that the mind relates its thoughts and feelings to unknowingly and descriptively. This lack of understanding applies more to the emotions emanating from others, be they audible or silent, than they do to the emotions we feel ourselves the greater percentage of the time.

How can this be so? How is it that the majority of the time, we misread, ignore, or completely overlook the emotions emanating from others when we feel those same emotions ourselves, and often express them in the same ways, whether more or less often, and whether we show our emotions deliberately, or they show despite our failed attempts at masking or hiding them? How is it that we fail to understand, or understand more fully, the torment or elation anyone other than ourselves can be going through at any given moment when we, ourselves, have been through the same or similar circumstances? Even when we have not been through the same circumstances bringing about such emotions in others, how is it that we have such a hard time understanding that the same emotions we experience can be brought about in others by completely different circumstances?

Maybe it is the amount of people who fake emotions to gain for themselves something from another in ill begotten ways so often that it becomes hard to believe what so many try to show or hide from us emotionally. Maybe it is that we are so often trying to understand those things in and for ourselves that we fail to see how those emotions affect others in their interactions with us and in their own lives. Maybe it is where some of the circumstances that bring about the same emotions for others are not quite the same circumstances that bring them about for us at times. Maybe it is where we are in a different state of emotion at times than the person or people we are interacting with, and our absorption in our own emotions takes our sight and understanding away from theirs at any given moment. It could be any one or more of these reasons, or even that we have had our own emotions misread and disregarded so many times that our own emotions have become so deep and ominous at times that we cannot see through the shadows that surround us or the elation we feel for ourselves in those moments. There are so many reasons that could be factors.

Even if we don’t feel the same emotions at the same exact time as someone else, or for the same exact reasons, we still feel the same emotions as everyone else, for despite each emotion being a different language, what we feel is universal. Despite the false witnesses of emotion who seek to deceive for whatever gain or manipulation they so choose, there are still so many good people trying to understand themselves, as well as others. In emotion, regardless of race or nationality or origin, we all speak the same emotional languages, even if some of us are more fluent in some emotions over others due to our personal experiences. If more of us would try, and some of us would try harder, to understand the emotions of others, not only from the circumstances bringing them to life, but in the effect each emotion has on each person in their moments of emotion, just as we so try to understand our own, then maybe, just maybe, there would not be so much confusion, misunderstanding, and in some cases, judgment, at the differences in what others feel and experience in any moment, whether similar or the same to our own, and hearts would heal more so than being broken, and we would see similarities over differences.

Despite how we live, where we come from, and who each of us are personally, we are all the same in what we feel in our hearts and through our minds, and even in our differences, we are still one in the same. Our minds control our hearts, and our hearts control our minds. We all feel, and we all feel the same, even if at different times than one another. Even when there are no words to say, and even when our words won’t bleed upon page or screen, or our emotions will not translate to whatever medium of expression we choose, our silence still speaks just as loudly as our words, for our every thought and action is based upon the language of emotion, and in that, we all speak the same language, even in silence.

Where it is so often that silence from another, or reflected upon another, determines our own understanding and emotion in interaction with the emotions of others, we should listen and try to understand more than just cursory what those silences reflect emotionally.  Sometimes, our silences speak just as much, if not more, than words or other mediums can allow, if we would but listen as closely in others as we do in ourselves in the languages of emotion, with our hearts and minds in equal measure, instead of letting our own emotions in our own circumstances at any given time impede or disrupt how we see or hear these emotions effecting others in their own circumstances, similar or differing, for they are something we should try to relate to, not self-sidedly compare to our own in trying to self-deceptively prove that no one understands how we feel.
It is one thing to write about such things in poetry or other forms, for we are describing our own personal experiences. It is quite another thing to allow ourselves to misunderstand, misinterpret, or ignore the emotions of others for any reason, especially because we have convinced ourselves that no one can hurt like we do or suffer as we have or are suffering, and it is often the silences that have the most impact on how we understand or misunderstand others. This is a thought that rambled on in the best of my understanding.