Been locked up
A prisoner
In that other prison
That prison I built
All on my own
Prison found on my island of mysoul
The tall walls around it made of self-doubt
The cells made out of low self-esteem
My cuffs made of self-loathing
My uniform made of depression
A material am now comfortable in
No one is my warden
Am my own jailer
There are no other prisoners
But I have hate, anxiety and pain
For company daily
This other prison serves
Guilt, mistrust with a sprinkle of loneliness
For breakfast
For lunch, we are served a plate of body shaming
And for dinner self negative criticism
And a midnight snack of insomnia
I sentenced myself
To life in this other prison
Though I walk around as a “free woman”
I am a walking prison
I could leave anytime
Its not that I don’t want to
Its that being here is easier
And I have grown comfortable
Now I cant get out
Of this other prison
Yes its lonely
No one visits or calls
The only letters I receive
Are from me to me
To remind myself
Why am imprisoned
And why I should never leave
My prison of guilt
My own custom made Alcatraz
My crime?
I listened to people
I trusted, I believed
And worse I loved
And was never loved back
Am suffocating
I want freedom, I want out
But cant seem to leave
This prison in my heart
       - Joyce Tshibasu