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MARK RIORDAN Feb 2017
A PLANE CRASH AT ESSENDON AIRPORT
AMERICAN TOURIST LIVES LOST
HERE IN AUSTRALIA ON A GOLFING TRIP
NOW THEIR FAMILIES COUNT THE COST

MEN OF CHARACTER AND STRONG STATURE
WITH A VARIED LIFE TRAVELLED
LOOSING THERE LIVES WHILE ON THIS TRIP
NOW THERE FAMILIES LIVES ARE UNRAVELED

OUR HEARTS ARE VERY HEAVY
OUR THOUGHTS ARE DEFINITELY WITH YOU
LETS HOPE THE FAMILIES MEMORIES
COMFORT THEM AS THEY DO
THIS WAS A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY AND WE ARE THINKING OF THE FAMILIES AT THIS TIME OF LOSS.
party zone with sue longways



hi everyone, my name is sue longways and what a night we have for you

you see i will start with a great song, here it goes

one look in your eyes makes me feel oh continental

diamonds are a girls best friend

parties are fun for girls and also guys yeah

we have diamonds which is a girls best friend

me, sue longways is partying every day and night oh yeah

diamonds oh diamonds are a girl’s best friend

and now here is sue about to interview kendoll from scullin

sue’   hi everyone welcome back to party zone and as you might be aware

the GWS footy team beat hawthorn and sydney beat melbourne

a win for sydney against melbourne and what a walloping win for the canberra raiders

and ken doll how did you feel about those victories

kendoll’  well, it was great to see the swans and GWS, and the mighty raiders, well, that is a shock result

for them, and i was glancing the internet, and i saw belconnen magpies first grade side

nearly got a 200 game

sue’  yeah you were telling me back stage

kendoll’    and another thing, as i was watching the swans, the warriors beat the sharks and the cowboys beat

thje bulldogs and

sue’   yeah talking about rugby league, you promised us, you will sing the green machine song in a tu tu if they beat the titans

so why not try it

kendoll’  ok i will just get my tu tu

ken doll puts his tu tu on with a bit of a laugh

kendoll’   we’re the bad and mean green machine,

fearsome men from the ACT

don’t try and stop these men in green

or we will hit ys hit ya hit ya, till you see green

sue’  how do you feel mr kendoll

kendoll’   i feel great, UP THE RAIDERS, SWANS AND DOCKERS AND GWS, what a great performance these teams

played for us tonight

sue’  thanks kendoll and now we will go to tina dermott from casey, tina, how are you feeling tonight

tina’   i feel like singing

not a dime i cannot pay my rent

i can barely make it through the week

saturday night is party night i want to meet a girl

but right now i cannot make my ends meet

i am always working slaving every day

gotta get a break from that same old same old

i need a chance just to get away

this is what i say

i need nothing but a good time

how can i resist, i saw belconnen magpies

almost get 200, i feel really really pumped, oh yeah

sue’  yeah it was great to see the magpies get 196 points today, and it was also great to see the raiders get 56

tina’   yeah, and i just came from the sports bar, and fremantle dockers beat essendon, i feel like singing

freo, oh free heavho

free way to go, we beat the bombers easily so

free way to go, we’re the mighty fremantle dockers

free way to go, we’re the best team oh yeah we are so

free way to go, we are the free dockers

sue’  yeah go the mighty dockers and thanks tina, go the  dockers and now we have larry king jar with us

larry’  yeah sue, i feel like old 80s trash so i will sing old 80s trash

last night i was dreaming

i was locked in a prison cell

when i woke up i was screaming

calling out your name

and the judge and the the jury, put the blame on me

they won’t go for my story, they will lock me away

only you can set me free, cause i am guilty, guilty

guilty as a guy can be

dreaming yeah makes me feel so ALIVE, oh yeah

of love in the first degree

sue’  yeah, that is a wonderful song, thank you larry and now here is marcus from higgins

marcus hi sue, and i am singing my song, we’re not going to take it, the lines to get in civic nightclubs

you see we have the right to get in there

ya know party on saturday night party night yeah

i can’t understand why this line is taking so **** long

and there is some weird odour, smells like a combination of dirt and snot yeah

yeah it is the person next to me, boy does he really pong

i said i am not going to take it, i really am into breaking point

i can’t take these nightclub lines no more

my mates call me a little girlie others said i was an oldie

i can’t take these nightclub lines anymore

sue’  way to go marcus, the nightclub owners should allow heaps of people in, but then your packed in like sardines, what can we do

and our last guest is fred from gar ran

fred’  yeah, i will sing hallueiah

i hear the swans and the giants did win

and the raiders and the cowboys won

we don’t really care for losing do, us

go the mighty free ,man, and adfelaide, who are the pride of SA

yeah, this is the big moment we sing halleiah

sue’   ok dudes, i hope you enjoyed party zone tonight. if ya want to meet these people, pop round to the city club before 2 am ok

ands PARTY HARDY won’t stardy
hi dudes

i am in a good mood, i am doing the bbq tomorrow

and i tipped

kangaroos over essendon kangaroos won

adelaide over st kilda adelaide won

hawthorn over melbourne hawthorn won

GWS over carlton, GWS won

sydney over geelong, sydney won

west coast over gold coast, west coast won

and if fremantle beat western bulldogs

and collingwood beat richmond

and port adelaide beat brisbane

i have tipped all the winners of this round

i am doing the bbq tomorrow in kippax

hoping i grab the second full winner
I AM TRYING TO FIND HAPPINESS, AS I FELT I HAD TO GET PAST MY MUM AND DAD
FOR FUTURE HAPPINESS, I THINK THAT VISION OF HELL, IS TRUE, CAUSE I AM A BELIEVER IN COSMIC ENERG, AS WELL AS THE BUDDHIST PHILOSOPHY OF
MENDING EVERY BLADE OF GRASS TO BE SOWN, I WANT TO BE A HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITY, BUT I HAVE TO SETTLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH, I WANT TO HAVE
MY ART DISPLAYED IN ART GALLERIES, BUT I DO IT ONLINE, EVEN FACEBOOK
I WANT TO LOOK AT MY STORIES, LIKE ME, BRINGING MY IMAGINERY TV STATIONS
INTO THE REAL WORLD, I REMEMBER DAD SAYING, SOMETIMES IN LIFE WE HAVE
TO MAKE SACRIFICES, WELL, I FELT I WAS SACRIFICES OF HIM TREATING ME
LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY TO A TEASE, I TRY AND BE A OPTOMIST, BUT IT ISN'T HARD
TO BE A PESIMIST, BECAUSE, I AM NOT AS FAMOUS, AS I WOULD LIKE TO BE
YA SEE, I FIND THIS GUY PRETTY COOL, YA KNOW, HE ISN'T AFRAID TO EXPRESS
HIS BUDDHIST BELIEFS, BUT I FELT I WAS SUFFERING WHEN I WAS BEING THE
FAMOUS PERSON FROM THE FAMILY, AND I WANT TO BE MY OWN PERSON, I LIKE
THE IDEA, OF BEING FAMOUS, EVEN IF IT WAS FOR JUST 10 YEARS, I FEEL FAMOUS
IN MY MENTAL HEALTH DRAMA GROUP, I WANT TO GET FURTHER WITH THAT ART
THERPAY, AT BELCONNEN MENTAL HEALTH, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT, I WAS
TRYING TO CALL A TRUCE WITH DAD, HE DID DO IT FOR LOVE, BUT I FELT, HE
LIKED MY BROTHER MORE, AND HE DROVE ME CRAZY, NOW, I NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT HIM, HE TRIED TO UNDERSTAND ME, BUT HE COULD'VE TRIED HARDER
CAUSE, I SUFFERED ALL MY LIFE, YOU KNOW, NOBODY WANTED TO STAY
WITH ME AT NIGHTCLUBS, OR GO WITH ME TO NIGHTCLUBS,DESPITE, ME STILL
ENJOYING MYSELF IN NIGHTCLUBS, I REALLY WANTED TO BE W2ITH COOL MATES,
NOT TOTALLY SQUARRE MATES, AND I CAN TELL YOUNG DUDES, I PARTIED IN
NIGHTCLUBS, IN MY DAY, MAN, I TRIED TO UNDERSTAND DAD, WHEN I SAT NEAR HIM
BUT HE WANTED TO TREAT ME LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY TO LIFE, LIKE SOMEONE
WHO IS FINDING IT DIFFICULT, DAD WAS A LITTLE SHY BOY, HE HATED, THINKING
OR DREAMING FOR THE FUTURE, AS OPPOSED, TO LIVING FOR TODAY, I KNOW
I SEEMED TO DWELL IN THE PAST, BUT I NEVER DWELL, I MAKE PEACE WITH THE
PAST, I TOLD DAD THIS BEFORE HE DIED, LIKE HE PREFERS, CONTRACTOR, I PREFER ERIN BOY, JUST BECAUSE I AM IN MY 40S, DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T BE
AN ERIN BOY, INSTEAD OF CONTRACTOR, DAD, WAS A GREAT LOVER OF FLOWERS
AND HE HATED ME EATING GRASS, BUT I HATED HIM TREATING ME LIKE A LITTLE
BABY SHY BOY, I SAW LIFE, IN A BETTER AND DIFFERENT WAY TO DAD
I LIKE PARTYING DAD LIKED BEING MATURE
I PLAY CRICKET AND NEW YEARS EVE PARTIES, TO MAKE DAD FEEL LIKE A MAN
SOME OF THE MEN WHO WENT TO CLUBS, WERE NICER TO ME MORE THAN DAD
AND OUR NEIGHBOUR, ALAN WAS OLD, BUT HE LOVED THE SYDNEY SWANS
AND I USED TO TALK ABOUT HOW GOOD THE SYDNEY SWANS ARE, HE TOLD
ME ABOUT HOW HE WENT TO THE PAPER SHOP TO GET TELEGRAMS OF THE
SWANS, YEAH, I USED TO HAVE FUN ARGUMENTS WITH ASHLEY, AUSSIE RULES
V LEAGUE, AND I FOUGHT FOR CARLTON OVER STAN NIEMICS ESSENDON
AND I REMEMBER LESLIE, WAS MUMS FRIEND, BUT HE WAS A GREAT MATE TO ME
I HAD MY SCHOOL MATES TEASING ME IN MY HEAD, HE GAVE ME HIS EAR
THAT LIFE'S DEAD, BUT I SHARED A FEW LAIGHS WITH DAD, BUT HE WELL TRIED
AS HARD AS HE COULD, LIKE GOINGT TO MY FLAT FOR XMAS PARTIES, THE ONLY WAY, BUT I TOLD DAD THINGS ABOUT TV AND SPORT, LIKE DAD TOLD ME WHEN
IT WAS A FIRE BAN OR WHEN IT WAS GOING TO RAIN, I TOLD HIM ABOUT ALF
STEWART ON HOME AND AWAY, AND HOW BAD CARLTON AND THE RAIDERS
WERE PLAYING, I WENT TO WEEKEND JAIL FOR TYING UP A BOY, BUT I LEARNT
MY LESSON STRAIGHT AWAY, DAD  NEVER UNDERSTOOD THIS, HE JUST
THOUGHT I WAS DWELLING, I SUFFERED THROUGH THIS, I CAN'T BE LIKE
THE OLD BATTILAX, DAD, I CAN'T BE THE PERSON, DAD WANTED ME TO BE
I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE HIM AND MUMMY, ESPECIALLY NOW, THAT HE IS DEAD
AND WE LAID DADS ASHES, IN COPPINS CROSSING, WITH JUST ME, MY BROTHER
AND MY MOTHER, I BROUGHT BUDDHA WITH ME, AND PUT A BIT OF DAD ON BUDDHA'S LAP, AND DID A LITTLE CEREMONY, AS I WAS TRYING TO BURY
DADS SPIRIT, SO HE CAN SOON GET REINCARNARTED AS ONE OF DAVID AND
LISA CAMPBELL'S TWINS, ROBIN WILLIAMS IS THE OTHER ONE, I DROWNED
BUDDHA, TO FINALLY BURY MY DAD, AND LET THIS FAMOUS BUSHWALKER
OF OLD TO FLOAT ON COPPINS CROSSING, I BELIEVE IN GOING TO ATHENA
UP IN THE SKY, FOR COSMIC DENTAL WORK, RATHER THAN DADS REALISTIC WAY
DENTISTS ARE QUACKS, WHO ARE AFTER YOUR CASH, PARACETAMOL AND
TOOTHPASTE AND COKE, HELPS YOUR TEETH BETTER, AND NOW DAD AS
HE FLOATS AROUND IN COPPINS CROSSING, THINKING, I MUST, HELP THE WORLD
UNDERSTAND, BRIAN, AND I HATED DAD TREATING ME LIKE THIS LITTLE SHY BOY, OR HE WANTED, IS TO SAY THE LAST FUCKEN WORD
THIS BUDDHIST ISN'T AFRAID OF GOING TO JAIL, I HATE GOING TO JAIL, I PREFER
THE PSYCH WARD, CAUSE IT'S SAFER, BUT I PREFER TO BE WELL, SO I DON'T
GO TO EITHER, I AM NO PHEADPHILR OR KIDNAPPER
\
I AM A BUDDHIST ARTIST AND WRITER AND YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER
WHO LOVES TO PARTY DOWN, OUT OF SQUARE TOWN, I AIN'T SQUARE
I AM RADICALLY AWESOME DUDE
Hi dudes and welcome to the Saturn community concert and our first guest is Kathryn Roswell who was my grandfather in her previous life and she is singing with Martin the Martian
With a top hat here they are
Their first song is agadoo
Which goes like this
Agadoo doo doo push pineapple shake the tree agadoo doo doo push pineapple grind coffee which was Kathryn’s fave song where she knows the words and the actions to and then she sang elvis Presley’s song love me tender which was a song she loved to sing to me ya know her last life’s grandson and then after that Martin the Martian who was John Mahoney from the tv series Frasier singing
I am a Martian with a top hat and I have no tie and I am ready to party all night when your young you will party
To forget about reality and have a little fun oh yeah party right
Yes everyone is ready to party with
Me and Kathryn yo here on Saturn
And I get my top hat and as I am wearing no tie
Just the perfect shade of green
I am a Martian with a top hat
With a naked green body
I am ready to party yeah
C’mon get out your top hat
And put on your dancing shoes
And party party party all night
And then Kathryn and Martin the Martian played a lot of seventies and eighties songs and everyone got down and danced, the songs were
Dancing queen abba
Sweet home Alabama
American pie don McLean
Standing on the outside cold chisel
Duncan slim dusty using all the names of the people here
And then they left the stage
And bon Scott came on stage with Michael Hutchence and Roy Orbison
Michael on drums Roy vocals and bon
On bass guitar they sang
Pretty woman
You shook me all night long
Suicide blonde
You got it
Who made who
Need you tonight
Handle with care
Thunderstruck
Devil inside
And then they bowed to the audience thanking them for dancing and left the stage
Then the crazy hip hop dancers from Jupiter who were Daniel morecombe
And Graeme Thorne who is me now on earth and Caleb Logan and they danced to great songs like
A hip hop version to YMCA village people and Stan from Eminem and another hip hop version of karma chameleon from culture club standing on the inside looking out which is a song I wrote and performed at the poetry slam and the last one was come on aussies come on the old cricket song and now we have some cosmic belly dancers coming out
Their names are Kim Davidson and Bridget bromhead and Ruth cracknell and they shook their bellies to chicken dance
And nut bush city limits and a Christmas song jingle bells and good ship Lollypop and rock and roll music
And after that the swinging yobbos came out slim dusty Alfred Waldron who was another previous life of mine and my currents life’s late father Barry Allan who is now Betty Campbell
And they sang songs like waltzing Matilda and fly burgers which was my first poem I wrote and a tisket a tasket which we showed our inner ***** and then we played all the afl theme songs starting with Sydney Adelaide Carlton Brisbane Melbourne
West coast Fremantle port Adelaide
The gws giants Gold Coast suns north Melbourne hawthorn st Kilda Essendon Richmond and Collingwood
And finished with the green machine
Canberra Raiders song and we left the stage then I came out to sing this song before the fireworks
It is called the schizophrenic Macarena
1 2 3 4 do the schizophrenic
From the first day you were born
To your current situation
With medication you can be reformed
Yeah mate yeah I am schitzophrenic
Don’t worry about my best mate
His name was rob butler
I wish I could explain it because I know
There was no best friend named rob butler
You see if I was married to Susan brown mate and if I had a family
With two sons David and mike
I know they don’t exist
But in a way I wished they did
And I am schitzophrenic
1 2 3 4 I am schitzophrenic
From the first day I was born
To my current situation
With medication I can be reformed
Wow yeah I am schitzophrenic
I like Christmas
But I am a Buddhist
I like the peace behind it
Despite being anything but at peace
With my crazy mental illness
Then I jumped in the back seat
Of my best mates cab
But the thing about it is
No mate of mine has ever drove a cab
Except Stan niemic but it is not him
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
From the first day I was born
To my current situation
I wish my childish dillusions will go away cause I hate being schitzophrenic oh yeah bow bow
And now here are the beautiful fireworks and that lit up the sky for 21 minutes, it was beautiful
Bye everyone and I will see you at the next cosmic community concert
Goodbye dudes

— The End —