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Jawad May 2017
HAND BITER
Jawad
May 2017
How does it taste
My hand...?
The hand that fed you...!
You have been chewing on it
Through and through
For a while now...
The hand that hurts
From providing...
So much
That it came close to breaking
Just to protect you
From starving
The hand that hurts
And shakes
So much
That I can't even eat with it anymore
And as such
Will remain
Hungry
And probably die
I'm angry
I am angry with you
But the worst thing is
That I can't hate you
Because hating somebody you love
Hurts even more
I am angry
Because in my core
I was sure that you would do that
And all I did was
Ignore...
And you thought I didn't have a clue?
I gave you the cue
For this to happen
And I didn't pull my hand
And accepted for it to remain soar
Full of marks from your bites
And the endless nights
Of providing..
For such a long time
Telling myself
It’s fine
Because the bite
Of somebody you love
Is sweet
As honey
But now you are full
And it doesn't matter if I pull
Or leave my hand there
For you to take a last bite
You are just waiting for the fight
So that you can run away
And never look at me again
How does it feel
To be a traiter
How does it taste?
Bitter?
Only my tongue
My hand is sweet
Hand biter...!
My hand...?
The hand that fed you...!
You have been chewing on it
Through and through
For a while now...
The hand that hurts
From providing...
So much
That it came close to breaking
Just to protect you
From starving
The hand that hurts
And shakes
So much
That I can't even eat with it anymore
And as such
Will remain
Hungry
And probably die
I'm angry
I am angry with you
But the worst thing is
That I can't hate you
Because hating somebody you love
Hurts even more
I am angry
Because in my core
I was sure that you would do that
And all I did was
Ignore...
And you thought I didn't have a clue?
I gave you the cue
For this to happen
And I didn't pull my hand
And accepted for it to remain soar
Full of marks from your bites
And the endless nights
Of providing..
For such a long time
Telling myself
It’s fine
Because the bite
Of somebody you love
Is sweet
As honey
But now you are full
And it doesn't matter if I pull
Or leave my hand there
For you to take a last bite
You are just waiting for the fight
So that you can run away
And never look at me again
How does it feel
To be a traiter
How does it taste?
Bitter?
Only my tongue
My hand is sweet
Hand biter...!
Helping somebody who doesn't deserve it, is really bad. Falling in love with somebody who doesn't love you, is even worse. The worst is to help somebody you love but who doesn't love you back while you know in your heart that it is wrong, but nevertheless do it, because you love being in love...
But the absolutely worst is to love somebody who doesn't love you, and helping her so much on your own expense so that you can't even help yourself anymore and are in trouble now because of her, and she is waiting for a confrontation so that she has an excuse to never speak to you again.
But the absolutely worst is to love somebody who doesn't love you, and helping her so much on your own expense so that you can't even help yourself anymore and are in trouble now because of her, and she is waiting for a confrontation so that she has an excuse to never speak to you again.
wolfbiter Jun 2014
wolf biter
wolfbiter
Jun 2014
It’s a constant knot in my gut
And lump in my throat ,
I’m always stuck between the feeling
Of either bursting into tears or throwing up .
And my chest feels like it’s either caving in
Or being torn apart
And I worry about the permanent damage
Left behind by the war between my head
And my heart.
I keep my hands balled into fists to keep anyone from seeing
My dull jagged nails and torn cuticles that never stop bleeding
Due to the hours I spend tearing at my skin.
Maybe I’ll rip enough away to let some of the sickness spill out
And the sunlight spill in.
The doctors called me a wolf biter, due the way that I chew and I tear
At the flesh that surrounds each of my fingernails.
The same way a wolf gnaws on the flesh of its prey
Using its nails and its teeth to shred the outer shell away.
I back myself into a corner and paralyze me with fear
Then turn around and destroy the body keeping me here.
Maybe soon I'll peel back all my skin
And make myself disappear.
A wolf biter, because I allow myself to simultaneously become
Both the hunted, running scared, and the hunter out for blood.
And lump in my throat ,
I’m always stuck between the feeling
Of either bursting into tears or throwing up .
And my chest feels like it’s either caving in
Or being torn apart
And I worry about the permanent damage
Left behind by the war between my head
And my heart.
I keep my hands balled into fists to keep anyone from seeing
My dull jagged nails and torn cuticles that never stop bleeding
Due to the hours I spend tearing at my skin.
Maybe I’ll rip enough away to let some of the sickness spill out
And the sunlight spill in.
The doctors called me a wolf biter, due the way that I chew and I tear
At the flesh that surrounds each of my fingernails.
The same way a wolf gnaws on the flesh of its prey
Using its nails and its teeth to shred the outer shell away.
I back myself into a corner and paralyze me with fear
Then turn around and destroy the body keeping me here.
Maybe soon I'll peel back all my skin
And make myself disappear.
A wolf biter, because I allow myself to simultaneously become
Both the hunted, running scared, and the hunter out for blood.