I forgot what i was going to write  you
I know it was important
It had something to do with life
Or was it death

I'm not a word man anyway
I spent my lot
It's gone

It used to be like an eternal fountain
The gifts just kept on coming
I was a zeitgeist monsoon
A freak outbreak of the
had to do's

There was was never a question of asking
if
Or
when
It would come

It was just

the

Viscera

Of

Life

My askim
My love
My soul
Lost
This is all I have
It still stings like the day I lost her
Forever lost
Once was Askim.

Askim

I don’t mean to bother you. I just needed to let out some emotions.
I spent this week in your city, and it weighs on me. Just a few weeks ago, I was back in the city we met. And you were in my deepest thoughts. And it’s been a challenge. I’ve been up and down.

I still see you everywhere.

Walking the streets of your city is one of the more nerve wracking and anxiety producing things I’ve done for a while.

I was having lunch this week with your recently departed colleague, who spoke of you, for what seemed like an eternity. All I could do was just breathe in deeply and exhale slowly… while trying to keep my composure. Oh… and… he was pretty happy to get a break from your boss!

I wore your socks and scarf today. Wearing your scarf has an intensity that I can’t quite describe. 2/3 comforting and 1/3 torture. It’s a rather sadistic experience.

Askim, I’m a little perplexed by your enthusiasm to video chat and send gifts, followed by a rather cold semi-silence. We’re all human and it’s not like I haven’t had my moments too! but that messed me around a little.

It’s cool. You can be whoever you want, but it definitely was an unexpected ride.

I didn’t think I was going to write for a long time yet… but it all just bubbled up inside me tonight, right when I was watching GA, funnily enough.

I miss you, Askim.

I haven’t lost the dream…

Work is pretty ******* right now too actually. There’s about to be a blood bath. I’m pretty sure I’m safe, but it’s about to get ugly.

So yeah, the past month has been splendid and smooth.

Anyway, that’s my update.
Don’t worry, I won’t make this a habit. I just had to let the emotions out tonight.

Take care, Askim **