I was told they found her with mascara down her cheeks, and his picture in her hand.
Allie always told me, straight faced, that she wanted to **** herself but it was never the right time.
there were too many things to get done and too many colleges to apply for.
don't worry, Allie isn't going to **** herself 20 more seconds into this poem; that's not the kind of story i'm telling here.
Allie told me, sipping codeine and sprite, that the walls were talking and that the chair was singing, but not to worry because my time wasn't over.
i didn't know what that meant at the time but i do now.
It means that despite all of the crazy **** that is happening around us, not to worry because we have not lived it all yet.
we have marks to leave on this world and Allie left hers.
it was the scar on my cheek that keeps me in remind that she fought a hard battle.
I remember when i got the call that my little Allie was 33 pills in and half a bottle out,
her life was gone and she was cold.
my whole world fell apart and i have no idea where my mind has gone.
i miss the old Allie,
she might still be here but she isn't the same.
oh how i miss her.

Allie I go to you when I feel alone.
I go to you when no one is home.
I hide you from my kids.
I hide you from my wife.
Just hoping one of these days,
You will take my life.
The taste of you on my lips and tongue,
Makes me forget all the wrong that I have done.
The smell of you on my breath and in the air,
Makes me wonder if I'm gone, who will care?
Allie You make me a different man.
It doesn't matter if you're from a bottle or a can.
The man I have become when it's just you and me,
Is the man I never want my family to see.
Allie I go to you when I feel alone.
Because when I'm with you I feel at home.