When I look
in your eyes
I can sense
your desire

a fleeting glimpse
of pleasure sought
no longer afraid
of getting caught

so hold me close
when I am near
whispering what
you want to hear

the language you speak
isn't in words
being with you
its own reward

as we travel
this road together
learning and laughing
round every curve

when we reach
the final stop
look in my eyes
I'll give you my heart

Wandering moments
bodies and eyes
warm stolen glances
promised delight

just out of focus
a face in the crowd
emotional welling
unleashing desire

the feeling is fleeting
soon it will be gone
reach out with your feelings
to where you belong

As the flickering images
slowly fade from the screen
emotions have been heightened
as darkness recedes
there sits a witness
to the fact
and to the screen
salty drops
of his soul
roll slowly down his cheeks

The memories returned
as they always do
an emotional pain filled journey
passing through the gloom
from joy filled times
to tragedy
he'd surely seen them all
watching the years go slowly by
how long must it go on

How long must one suffer
until they feel the need
to throw off that cloak
set their soul free
look upon past folly
with an ear to ear grin
cheering like a spectator
at a title event

A life can be wasted
by sitting idly
whining and pining
lamenting your days
Life can be hard
and rarely is it fair
but the strength of your spirit
has got you to here

Here at the crossroads
a choice must be made
a path must be traveled
a toll must be paid
but how you accept
is all up to you
remember this when
memories haunt you

Hey there **** Roller girl
you really drive me mad
with that tiny bodice on
racing around the track

The swirling mass of energy
goes swiftly round and round
yells and screams ,and ****** knees
performing for the crowd

A once great sport returning now
a ladies game they say
but I have seen more contact there
than any hockey game.

Again you attack
bludgeon with words
explosive expletives
I do not deserve

When will you see
this is not the way
to live in a ring
defending each day

The things that I do
to sate your needs
come with a price
only for me

Look in the mirror
maybe you'll see
the reason that
your so angry with me

You cannot deny
the things I provide
instead you attack
crushing my pride

It makes me sad
especially to see
that the attacks
aren't only on me

Crushing ones spirit
is not a game
in the long run
you'll surely pay

For all the actions
and words that spew forth
from that bitter place
known as your heart

Awake in my skin
every sense reeling
imagined vertigo
taking control

falling yet rising
higher yet lower
unable to wake
adrift all alone

through doorways imagined
the journey never ends
soft voices calling
is this the end

light starts to penetrate
removing the veil
cobwebs receding  
from destiny's trail

distant cries
drift through the night
bring visions on wings
a beautiful sight

destiny's gates
swing open for me
like the arms of a lover
embracing the heat

a simple gift
yet one so full
of meaning and belief
placed around my neck
with hopes and loving dreams
placed there by my loving friend
as I stared out at the sky
the light streamed in warming the room
as inwardly I cried

I cried for the moment
but you would never see
the love that I held for you
grew ever ,ever deep
I cried for what I could not have
and what could never be
I cried for the loss
of those feelings within me

There is not a day goes by
when I reflect on that day
or when you greeted me
in your special way
I read the words you wrote to me
and smile all the same
and gently rub the ring I wear
while whispering your name

Faded blue dress and cigarettes
she waits for me
vacant eyes still reflect
some burning need
all the things that she's been through
have left her weak
wish she could shake it all off
and spread her wings

She can wake to a brand new light
playing all your songs tonight
remember your happy times
rejoice in the light

Facing yet another day
it seems surreal
how life between four walls
can make you feel
faded pictures and faded dreams
strike back every day
reflecting on a life never lived
to pass the day

She can wake to a brand new light
playing all your songs tonight
remember your happy times
rejoice in the light

watching the decline day by day
makes one feel
if I could just make it right
the joy she'd feel
but there's nothing I can do
to make her sing
so I'll be here all along
waiting in the wings

she can wake to a brand new light
singing all your songs tonight
remember your happy times
rejoice in the light
rejoice in the light

The Muses keep coming
putting rhymes in my head
begging me to share these things
not only with my friends
the spirit does give wisdom
but you must lend a hand
just open up and let them use
your unsteady hand

What makes the Muses choose you
no one can really say
but I think what matters most
is getting them to stay
for insight is their specialty
a guiding light of truth
just like musicality
you just let it flow right through

Perhaps you will reach the one
whom needs your message most
or maybe someone reads it
and uses it to quote
whatever is the reason
the Muses knew ahead
they composed and stuck the message
deep inside your head

I think that they've been here
since the ancient times
giving us a helping hand
by leading us, the blind
they taught us how to survive
they taught us how to sing
they even taught us what life is
and how to live in harmony

But most have forsaken
these voices from within
and go about their daily lives
living on a whim
Listen to the voices
not the ones that drive you mad
listen closely to the ones
that comfort you in bed

I can not imagine
a life with out them there
how does one  express themselves
when no one really cares
it must be a horrid life
to face the drudgery
without a way to ease the pain
or an outlet for release

So thank the Muses
for their gift
they surely do deserve
all the thanks that comes their way
recognition above all
for the contributions
they have made today
giving me the words
and you something to say

Staring through the cracks in the wall
no one knows that I'm here
lost track of days, being alone
caught in the grips of fear
left my home to find my way
captured and tortured, ransom to pay
all my dreams ,drifting away
maybe I can see the sun today

The vision slot which is my own
opens briefly just at dawn
angry eyes look inside
making sure that I abide
all day long and night too
I pray to God, I'll see you
I pray today although it seems in vain
How long can I bear this mental strain

Flights of fancy keep me free
of all the pain that I feel
I just wish someone could see
what had happened ,comfort me
but life has dealt me this hand
traveling alone in a foreign land
easy picking's for the thugs
just another ******* stunt

I was warned  of what dangers lay
yet I alone chose to stay
so I wonder who's fault this is
I alone am to blame for this
I know the pain this brings at home
poor old parents all alone
would give it all to be with them
not fearing if I will ever see home

again

Aching, waiting
for my friend to arrive
whom I have missed
for so many nights
off to visit a foreign land
off to visit her loving man

I'm not sure what
I miss most
her smiling face
her button nose
her cheerful humor
her cutting prose
but there is one thing
I know for sure
the time has been long
with out her here

Sitting by the tarmac
as the fog settles in
my mind and heart
trace the pathways
where you've been
I've givin of my soul to you
oh so selflessly
yet sometimes I have to think
it's a one way street

Again I feel the fool
who played and danced in vain
for the palace royalty
then taken out and hanged
I hope that this is not the case
but my heart is growing faint
all I've ever wanted from you
is to be your friend unchained

Don't cry or curse
when I am gone
It's what you planned all along
to rob me of my will to be
stabbing my soul so visciously
I don't know what I did to you
except maybe try to love you

yet time and time
and time again
it's all the same
in the end

Outwardly awkward
perpetually alone
you stalk the night
by moonlights cold glow

Stay in the shadows
glare at the flow
bitter young man
witnesses the blow

The sirens they wail
cut through the night
race with out winners
fearing the light

For light brings the change
that none can abide
unwilling to take
chance for a bride

Surely you'll suffer
for all that you know
the price of permission
Bitter pill taken once more.

The overgrown cavern
seemed to beckon me
the mystery, adventure
is what I really seek
to travel to a distant past
without ever leaving
the comfort of my daily life
really appeals to me

For within a hundred steps or so
the darkness starts to creep
pulling out the shadows
revealing things to me
a broken *** , a lower jaw
many treasures do await
an arrowhead protruding
from a dented brass breast plate

Going a little farther
into the empty place
I find that I no longer
sense the steps I trace
how many came before I did
to this very place
wondering about the former lives
lost within the cave

As a child I would come
here with my grandpa
he would tell me stories
of people that were lost
lost to the sands of time
but never did they leave
they just became the dusty floor
beneath my very feet

Lost my direction
along the way
facing rejection
everyday
I search for solace
in strangers eyes
go away
like a lonely sentry on the plain

I see myself this way
but reality
crushes me down
just the same
wanted to lash out
and spread the blame
I was lost
but now I've
found my way

facing an addiction
is a strain
like being locked out
in the rain

I see my life this way
I'm much stronger now
than I was yesterday
wanted to lash out
and spread the blame
I was lost
now I've found my way
i've found my way

The loneliness came
on the wind through the rain
mournful tones sang a forlorn cry

spreading across fields
brought forth by the wheels
steam billowing out in the night

as the sound came to me
in my mind I could see
romantic evenings enjoyed

long lonely nights
alone with the light
running along on the rails

the old four four two
had a trick or two
if you tickled her gauges just right

stoking her belly
so hot and smelly
yet feeling at once so alive

the wind in your hair
as you contentedly stare
out along the path of the line

The little wooden station
sate people and engines
an oasis if ever one's seen

unloading the horde
and taking on more
conductor  calls " All Aboard"

with a shunt and a spin
the wheels begin
the journey resumes again

Again there's the sound
a cry in the night
that takes me back in time

when as a young man
I traveled the land
in search of a piece of mind

Reflections of yesterday
ripple through my mind
glassy surface of a pond
knows no time
these days like turn like pages
in this novel we call life
standing alone in the shadows
biding time

ooh ooh ooh

Looking forward
never looking behind
a pillar of salt is all Lot got that night
build your tomorrows
with hopes and delights
stand outside of your circle
in the light

ooh ooh ooh

As I stand here
before you tonight
I can't tell you how it feels
to be in your spotlight
suffice to thank you
for all you've done for me
thank you for being you
and judgement free

ooh ooh ooh

Standing outside
      looking
         in
ignites desire
        to
      fit in

Took a walk down a lonely beat
nowhere town ,nowhere street
walked in silence listening
to the wind blowing through
the trees

Hoping fortune would smile on me
tortured days turn to tortured dreams
endless lies bear bitter fruit
endless lies conceal the truth

You cant fly on broken wings
You cant fly on midnight dreams
take a look and what do you see
come on baby ,take a walk with me

An empty page in a dusty book
been ten years since I looked
at the pictures of another me
come on baby take a walk with me

You can't fly on broken wings
You can't fly on midnight dreams
take a look and what do you see
come on baby, take a walk with me

Woke up to a smiling face
memory lane was an empty place
distant pictures of another time
another place to conceal your lies

You can't fly on broken wings
You can't fly on midnight dreams
take a look and what do you see
come on baby, take a walk with me

Two years ago today
I threw them away
It was really easier
than most people say
just a simple decision
then a little action
I found myself free
from a very bad addiction

I feel so much better
having a new direction
not stuck in the middle
feeling oh so little
to be a slave to anything
is really bad enough
but something  that is that small
how can it be so tough

I see my friends and wife too
******* in the fumes
filling them with poisons
killing them too soon
I know that freewill
is what we have
to make our lives complete
but the free will that is giving way
to enslavement isn't right

The money, oh the money
wasted just to make
yourself a little sicker
then you were yesterday
watching you wrinkle up
slowly fading away
standing outside freezing
just so you can sate
the demon that has you in its grip
is not that big I say
I defeated that lowly imp
two years ago today

Pictures present
an angled view
actions reveal
the real you

Waking dreams
are so real
there is no other
way to feel

standing at the
gates of Hell
then falling deep
into the veil

down you go
it feels surreal
like Dali's image
makes you squeal

melting watches
faces too
like a trip you took
in school

melting visions
merge into
spinning wheels
of warmer hues

then the scene
begins to fade
you must now
start your day

A Star
merely a person
painted against
a kalidascopic  societal view
upon whom the hopes
and aspirations of the masses
focus and ****

Driving ever forward
to some unknown end
as the masses want more
the star retreats
descending
hiding
all at once
what he had craved
haunts him daily
life in a cage

privacy
a luxury that
no longer exists
the worlds eyes upon you
prying
           seeking
slowly
insidiously
ripping your mental fabric

Charities
seek your name and presence
in order to maintain
the momentum
that their message
seems to intend
but often are drivin
not by the need for help
but for financial gain.

you trade your soul
for a star beside your name
just to bask
in an unreal "fame"
never again will you be
just a name upon the screen

Heading out, in the driving rain
the endless road ,of my journey
Often I think, I think of better days
wanting only to celebrate.

Life's  twisting pathways
leave you spinning,lost as in a daze
When you wake up you will see
it was only just a dream

Time rolls on,years melt away
Years become just another day
time has come to turn the page
Before another takes you slave

Some will not be so lucky
Some will not get to play

Life's become a cheezy charade
We live on ,in memories
Live beyond our mortal days
stand strong , always pave the way

Doesn't beauty
lie within
the boundaries
between love and sin?

Another sleepless night is spent
wishing to be with you
but knowing that it won't happen
is really nothing new

a passing fancy nothing more
yet a hope was hung upon
the body language you'd display
stringing me along

it seems as though a year has gone
since I last held you
I wonder if you feel the same
when I am not with you

Shadows dancing
pale moonlight
close pressed bodies
nocturnal delight

Moving together
graceful harmony
climbing together
in synchronicity

Reaching the heights
we never knew were there
flowing right into
your soul is my care

Perched high on the cliff
bliss appears to lift
emotions they rise
to greater heights

With you I want
to spend my life

I cast aside those
feelings of shame
focusing on
a burning flame
the one that lights
my path for me
the one that lights
for all to see

The path has been
a winding road
traveling hither
to and fro
always changing
through the years
but steadily on
despite my fears

the gift of a vision
so long ago
brought me this season
through which I flow
playing for love
playing for free
the song is my gift
that I give to thee

The feelings arise
at first in your gut
spreading so slowly
gripping your heart
the words seem alive
pulling you along
suddenly your singing
it seems from the heart

reliving your life
a lyric at a time
purging the feelings
held deep inside
feeling a bit lighter
after the release
a feeling that stays
sometimes for weeks

Your path it is paved
with music and with words
the people and places
the stories you've heard
situations created
sometimes without thought
bring forth a creation
making you who you are

I seen you crying
waiting for the train
raindrops matched the tears
rolling down your face
where has your journey taken you
to make you feel this way
staring off into
the unrelenting grey

I turned to see
if I could help
but clearly I could not
the train had come and gone by then
leaving me at the stop
oh, the perfect vision
of a past left behind
weighs heavy on my heart
heavy on my mind

green and black
was what you wore
in the mid day sun
chatting with another
like we had once done
I wonder if you feel the same
or share so willingly
the words and emotions
that once came so freely
are there times when you look back
with fondness and regret
or are the moments that we shared
indifferent and bereft
just another port of call
shelter from the storm
a mirror to reflect upon
the way you carry on
oh I wish to see again
the smile upon your face
as you open up your door
and wrap me in  your embrace

Fleeting glimpse
of joyus times
reflections of
my souls eye

Coming forth
into the day
all that's been said
has slipped away

Forever on
an uncharted course
uncertainly travel
adventure is yours

Stop when you can
reflect upon needs
act out if your able
that's how our souls feed

Sitting closely
with one that you love
nothing compares
fits like a glove

Going a bit further
than you had planned too
might be just the thing
you need to do

Never be afraid
to say how you feel
there might not be tomorrow
to defer to

Be the one
that you want to be
don't fall into
someone else's ideal

Stand on your own
bend with the wind
weather the storm
but never give in

Waiting
alone in the dark
wondering what
has made me start
was it the wind
or was it the sin
which has etched
my sunken heart

Wanting
to have you near
silent whispers
to my dear
but that cannot be
you have gone
joyful memories
our favourite song

Wishing
to meet again
seemed so foolish
to me then
now I see
differently
your no longer
next to me

Willing
to travel back in time
to take back
all the crying
rip from you
that fiendish beast
that ate you completely
piece by piece

Watching
you slowly fade
will stay with me
till my last day
maybe that's why I start
that's the sin
that etches my heart

Waking in the
midnight hour
got to extinguish
a burning fire
the one that pounds
inside your head
it's siren song
could raise the dead
you know the one
for which I speak
your heart ,it cries
when you are weak
gives you strength
for the task
another page
has come at last

Time won't wait for me
it marches straight ahead
like the changing seasons
bringing storms again
visions twisting and turning
inside my head
this gift's a curse
don't be fooled my friend

Visions
of your future
just a touch is all I need
I see pictures forming
the voices pleading out to me
feels like rain is falling
tears are rolling down my cheeks
feels like heavens falling
the worlds weight upon me

Some of my words
you have failed to heed
it's hard to watch this unfolding tragedy
I feel the fear , the pain, the uncertainty
each vision shared
takes a piece of me

Visions
of your future
just a touch is all I need
I see pictures forming
the  voices calling out to me
feels like rain is falling
tears are rolling down my cheeks
feels like heavens falling
the worlds weight upon me

This was written back in 2003  Recent events in my life have made me revisit this one..

Have you ever
wondered why
distant thoughts
make you cry

looking out my window
slightly dreamily
my thoughts  start to wander
to friendship
and what that means
having someone to share
all those special things
why can't we just get along
like Lennon sings

greatly appreciated
are the simple things
that this life can teach us
if we are willing
to listen very carefully
to what is really said
get the true meaning
behind  each word that is sent

But far too often
we fail to really see
caught up in selfish desires
intent on our own needs
when our actions
wound a soul
it never is repaired
all that we can really do
is move on hoping we learned

I have come to realize
that there is no other way
concentrate on being the one
to waken a new day
I have lived my past  a fool
but now I am awake
pay attention to the ones you love
or the price you'll pay
of sitting all alone
at the window
wondering.......

Hello again my pretties
Indeed it's been some time
But life sometimes throws a curve
There are many waves to ride

Around and around this ride goes
Never knowing where it ends
Emotions and reflections rule
Drawing you deeper in the depths

It is time to cleanse the mind
Clear out the sacred place
Tell the stories of my life
Let the pieces fall into place.

I often wonder
what happened to
all the people
I once knew
do you find
this vexes you?
as the figures
drift through your life
some bring joy
some bring strife
some stay with you
through the years
some simply disappear
lessons learned
in time it seems,
conjure up many themes
darkness, laughter,bitter tears
all just symptoms
of your fears
but in the end
it seems your peers
help you out
through the years
sometimes we are
slow to realize
friendship is
the real prize

Dashed upon the rocks of hope
and stranded by the waves
clinging desperately as the wind howls down
calling out my name

Oh how I need you now
in this timely hour
as the sun doth settles down
light begins to fade

The cold it creeps in slowly
loneliness indeed invades
insidiously replacing love
leaving hatred in its wake

I shall not become its victim
no. not again this time
crawling at a snails pace
it will not see me trying

At last I rise and strike a blow
for no longer am I blind
blind to the madness
which fights to poison the mind

Arisen I shall never bow
or break with the wind
arisen I shall take my place
at the helm again

Steely faces on the battle line
nervous looks as we wait for the sign
just pawns in a sick man's game
you want to leave,Ha .Too late

A cold wind blows across the field
in the air you can smell the fear
ask yourself why must we die
to appease some twisted pride
our faces change every day
in bags we are taken away

Recorded message
from an old friend
maybe a new one
hard to say
caught emotion
on the airwaves
reminds me of my
better days

Well I won't call this home
I won't call this home
I won't call this home
but I can't , can't stay away
buy I can't..

Standard postage on a letter
seems a price
that's fair to pay
smiling face
suits you better
tears leave
their winding trace

Well I won't call this home
I won't call this home
I won't call this home
but I can't ,can't stay away
but I can't....

A timeless void
dark and vast
crushing weight of the past
slowly rises to the fore
gliding past my bedroom door
all it wants is my soul
for darker reasons left untold
I curse aloud
and quake with fear
rancid breath,very near
blood red eyes meet my gaze
taste the fear in this place
now and then when I cry
I often think of that time
all alone with my thoughts
a broken window,then pulled out
heavy footsteps on the stair
I have finally made it out of there.

Standing awash
in the light of inspirational splendor
a creation so bold
yet subtly sweeping
giving rise to emotional swells
that leave you reeling, gasping
catching your breath
like the rolling breakers
racing across the surface
of a large expanse of water
the meaning of life
never clearer than at this moment
when all senses collide
sight , sound , smell,
touching you
at the very core of your being
the gallery is vast
not just of painted things
experiences and pleasure
all at once it brings
flashes of past days
the parts that you have played
but all that really matters are
the lives that you have changed
for the better or the worse
none remain the same
a price worth admission
on any given day

Walking out
into the rain
unwanted memories
won't wash away

Say your wicked
Say your mean
I only know you by the way you treated me
took the time to listen
took the time to wander by
opened up your heart
and stood the test of time

and I say thanks
and I say thanks
Thank you for doing what you didn't have to do
and I said hey brother Thank you

Sitting with you
on the bus that day
neither of us knew
we would end up this way
started to look to the other one
whos on the hook for a little fun

and I said Thanks
and I said Thanks
And I said thank you for doing what you did'nt have to do
and I said Hey sister Thank you

just one life is all we have
seems like a shame to waste it
complications often rule your day
but you can escape the day

Say your wicked
say your mean
I only know you by the way you treated me

I hear you
but don't catch what you've said
sometimes I begin to wonder
if you are only in my head
real or imagined
you catch me every time
like a thief caught red handed
at the local five and dime

I know I've heard you call my name
clearly I'm not mad
but standing here alone in gloom
I make but one demand
finish your ****** sentence
don't leave me in a lurch
if you have something to say
let's have it quick and blunt

but time and time and time again
it plays out the very same
as I get to doing things
you whisper out my name
expecting, no wait, knowing
that I will drop everything
and slowly look around the room
inwardly wondering.

Sitting by the railroad tracks,watching the trains
slowly, move away(its a game)
All the miles and all the whiles
I wonder just what we gained

Just one night I stayed, Just one night I played
Just one night I stayed, just one night I played

It's been a long time coming
This change come over me
It's been a long time coming
I guess it's up to me

Standing back,watching the veil fall away
revealing things you just could not say(its a game)
I remember the look on your face,when I walked away(its a shame)
there were tears for sure ,but were they real,its hard to say

Just one night I stayed,just one night I played
just one night I strayed ,Just one night  I played

Its been a long time coming
this change come over me
Its been a long time coming
I guess its up to me.
its been a long time coming,

Dancing clowns in the market square today
birds are singing,wind brushes my face
people laughing,people clapping , having a good time
sadly feels like I awoke in a different time

As I look around I slowly see
everything is as real as I want it to be
a lesson learned from a book I read long ago
seems to be the only thing is to let go

as the day fades away
and the moonlight glows
staring at the midnight sky
the mood seems to flow

I want to wake to this again
I want to take you by the hand
I want to wake to this again
I want to live like this again

I
  wish
I could see
  myself
       as
   others
     see
      me

Standing tall
for all to see
majestic grace
reveal to me
the secret that
you hold so dear
the secret that
you hold so near
a mystery from ages past
that blooms as though
the day won't last
spreading out
into the world
loving embrace
needs no words